Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 180^0.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝

Shipping is going to be $5. Feel free to bundle games together for better prices. I am happy to provide any pictures if requested!
​

	B	C	D
**1**	product-name	console-name	Price
**2**	Pokemon Blue	GameBoy	25
**3**	Backyard Basketball	GameBoy Advance	5
**4**	Backyard Football	GameBoy Advance	5
**5**	Backyard Football 2006	GameBoy Advance	4
**6**	Backyard Hockey	GameBoy Advance	6
**7**	Donkey Kong Country	GameBoy Advance	14
**8**	Dragon Ball Z Supersonic Warriors	GameBoy Advance	11
**9**	Dragon Ball Z Taiketsu	GameBoy Advance	6
**10**	Fire Pro Wrestling 2	GameBoy Advance	25
**11**	Golden Nugget Casino	GameBoy Advance	3
**12**	Madden 2002	GameBoy Advance	4
**13**	Mario Golf Advance Tour	GameBoy Advance	20
**14**	Mario Kart Super Circuit	GameBoy Advance	13
**15**	Monster Trucks Quad Fury Double Pack	GameBoy Advance	4
**16**	Power Rangers SPD	GameBoy Advance	6
**17**	Road Rash Jailbreak	GameBoy Advance	8
**18**	Shrek Hassle in the Castle	GameBoy Advance	5
**19**	Soccer Mania	GameBoy Advance	4
**20**	SpongeBob SquarePants Revenge of the Flying Dutchman	GameBoy Advance	6
**21**	Super Monkey Ball Jr.	GameBoy Advance	6
**22**	Teen Titans	GameBoy Advance	10
**23**	Texas Hold Em Poker	GameBoy Advance	3
**24**	Tony Hawk 4	GameBoy Advance	6
**25**	WWE Road To WrestleMania X8	GameBoy Advance	8
**26**	WWF Road to Wrestlemania	GameBoy Advance	8
**27**	NBA Showtime	GameBoy Color	5
**28**	Scooby Doo Classic Creep Capers	GameBoy Color	7
**29**	Sesame Street Sports	GameBoy Color	6
**30**	Turok Rage Wars	GameBoy Color	8
**31**	Turok Rage Wars	GameBoy Color	8
**32**	WWF Betrayal	GameBoy Color	11
**33**	Backyard Baseball	Gamecube	13
**34**	Backyard Football	Gamecube	5
**35**	Freestyle Street Soccer	Gamecube	5
**36**	Harry Potter Prisoner of Azkaban	Gamecube	9
**37**	Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup	Gamecube	7
**38**	Lord of the Rings Return of the King	Gamecube	10
**39**	Mario Party 7	Gamecube	50
**40**	NHL 06	Gamecube	4
**41**	Outlaw Golf	Gamecube	5
**42**	Super Mario Sunshine	Gamecube	63
**43**	Super Monkey Ball Adventure	Gamecube	18
**44**	Swingerz Golf	Gamecube	5
**45**	WWE Crush Hour	Gamecube	8
**46**	WWE Wrestlemania X8	Gamecube	9
**47**	Arch Rivals	NES	8
**48**	Jeopardy 25th Anniversary	NES	5
**49**	Wheel of Fortune	NES	6
**50**	WWF Wrestlemania	NES	8
**51**	WWF Wrestlemania Steel Cage Challenge	NES	9
**52**	Mario Kart 7	Nintendo 3DS	13
**53**	Pokemon Rumble Blast	Nintendo 3DS	10
**54**	Super Mario 3D Land	Nintendo 3DS	11
**55**	FOX Sports College Hoops '99	Nintendo 64	6
**56**	Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside	Nintendo 64	10
**57**	Madden Football 64	Nintendo 64	10
**58**	Mike Piazza's Strike Zone	Nintendo 64	7
**59**	NBA In the Zone '98	Nintendo 64	3
**60**	NBA Jam 2000	Nintendo 64	18
**61**	Pokemon Snap	Nintendo 64	24
**62**	Pokemon Stadium	Nintendo 64	21
**63**	Super Mario 64	Nintendo 64	40
**64**	Super Mario 64	Nintendo 64	40
**65**	Super Smash Bros.	Nintendo 64	38
**66**	Voice Recognition Unit	Nintendo 64	10
**67**	WCW Backstage Assault	Nintendo 64	10
**68**	WCW Mayhem	Nintendo 64	7
**69**	WCW vs NWO Revenge	Nintendo 64	10
**70**	Wipeout	Nintendo 64	7
**71**	WWF No Mercy	Nintendo 64	33
**72**	WWF Warzone	Nintendo 64	5
**73**	WWF Wrestlemania 2000	Nintendo 64	15
**74**	Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers	Nintendo DS	5
**75**	Bakugan Battle Brawlers	Nintendo DS	4
**76**	Big Brain Academy	Nintendo DS	3
**77**	Cars	Nintendo DS	5
**78**	Chaotic: Shadow Warriors	Nintendo DS	4
**79**	Club Penguin Elite Penguin Force: Herbert's Revenge	Nintendo DS	4
**80**	DaGeDar	Nintendo DS	3
**81**	Deal or No Deal	Nintendo DS	3
**82**	Fab 5 Soccer	Nintendo DS	5
**83**	Johnny Test	Nintendo DS	9
**84**	Mario and Sonic Olympic Winter Games	Nintendo DS	6
**85**	Mario Hoops 3 on 3	Nintendo DS	10
**86**	Mario Party DS	Nintendo DS	12
**87**	Metroid Prime Hunters	Nintendo DS	8
**88**	Micro Machines V4	Nintendo DS	6
**89**	Monster Jam: Path of Destruction	Nintendo DS	6
**90**	New Super Mario Bros	Nintendo DS	12
**91**	Pokemon SoulSilver Version	Nintendo DS	87
**92**	Power Play Pool	Nintendo DS	4
**93**	Rubik's World	Nintendo DS	3
**94**	Sonic Classic Collection	Nintendo DS	12
**95**	Sonic Colors	Nintendo DS	11
**96**	Tecmo Bowl Kickoff	Nintendo DS	9
**97**	Yoshi's Island DS	Nintendo DS	13
**98**	102 Dalmatians Puppies to the Rescue	Playstation	12
**99**	ATV Quad Power Racing	Playstation	3
**100**	Crash Bash	Playstation	15
**101**	CTR Crash Team Racing	Playstation	17
**102**	Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Battle 22	Playstation	5
**103**	Dukes of Hazzard Racing for Home	Playstation	5
**104**	FIFA 2003	Playstation	5
**105**	Knockout Kings 2000	Playstation	4
**106**	MLB 2003	Playstation	4
**107**	Rocket Power Team Rocket Rescue	Playstation	4
**108**	Tekken 3	Playstation	17
**109**	Treasure Planet	Playstation	6
**110**	WWF Smackdown 2: Know Your Role	Playstation	10
**111**	All-Star Baseball 2005	Playstation 2	4
**112**	American Chopper 2 Full Throttle	Playstation 2	4
**113**	Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? Make the Grade	Playstation 2	3
**114**	Arena Football	Playstation 2	4
**115**	Backyard Baseball 09	Playstation 2	4
**116**	Backyard Baseball 2007	Playstation 2	4
**117**	Backyard Basketball	Playstation 2	5
**118**	Backyard Football	Playstation 2	5
**119**	Backyard Football 09	Playstation 2	4
**120**	Backyard Wrestling	Playstation 2	9
**121**	Ben 10 Protector of Earth	Playstation 2	5
**122**	Burnout Dominator	Playstation 2	6
**123**	Cabela's Outdoor Adventures	Playstation 2	4
**124**	Call of Duty Finest Hour	Playstation 2	5
**125**	College Hoops 2K7	Playstation 2	5
**126**	Crash Bandicoot The Wrath of Cortex	Playstation 2	12
**127**	Crash Twinsanity	Playstation 2	10
**128**	Duel Masters	Playstation 2	5
**129**	ESPN NBA 2K5	Playstation 2	3
**130**	ESPN NFL 2K5	Playstation 2	10
**131**	Fantastic 4	Playstation 2	4
**132**	FIFA 08	Playstation 2	5
**133**	FIFA 2004	Playstation 2	4
**134**	Gran Turismo 4	Playstation 2	6
**135**	Greg Hastings Tournament Paintball Maxed	Playstation 2	4
**136**	High Heat Baseball 2004	Playstation 2	4
**137**	High Rollers Casino	Playstation 2	3
**138**	Hot Shots Tennis	Playstation 2	4
**139**	Legends of Wrestling	Playstation 2	5
**140**	Lord of the Rings Third Age	Playstation 2	8
**141**	Lord of the Rings Two Towers	Playstation 2	5
**142**	Madden 2006	Playstation 2	3
**143**	Madden 2007	Playstation 2	3
**144**	Madden NFL 10	Playstation 2	6
**145**	Major League Baseball 2K5	Playstation 2	3
**146**	Major League Baseball 2K9	Playstation 2	3
**147**	Midnight Club 3 Dub Edition	Playstation 2	17
**148**	MLB 06 The Show	Playstation 2	4
**149**	MLB 08 The Show	Playstation 2	3
**150**	NASCAR Chase for the Cup 2005	Playstation 2	6
**151**	NASCAR Thunder 2003	Playstation 2	4
**152**	NBA 2K10	Playstation 2	6
**153**	NBA Live 2004	Playstation 2	3
**154**	NBA Live 2005	Playstation 2	4
**155**	NBA Live 2006	Playstation 2	4
**156**	NBA Live 2007	Playstation 2	3
**157**	NBA Shootout 2003	Playstation 2	4
**158**	NBA Street	Playstation 2	10
**159**	NBA Street [Greatest Hits]	Playstation 2	7
**160**	NBA Street Vol 3	Playstation 2	16
**161**	NCAA Basketball 09	Playstation 2	11
**162**	NCAA Football 2006	Playstation 2	9
**163**	NCAA March Madness 2004	Playstation 2	4
**164**	Need for Speed Most Wanted	Playstation 2	10
**165**	Need for Speed Underground	Playstation 2	9
**166**	Need for Speed Underground 2	Playstation 2	11
**167**	NFL Gameday 2003	Playstation 2	4
**168**	NHL Hitz Pro	Playstation 2	8
**169**	Pimp My Ride	Playstation 2	5
**170**	ProStroke Golf	Playstation 2	3
**171**	Road Trip	Playstation 2	12
**172**	SOCOM US Navy Seals	Playstation 2	4
**173**	SOCOM US Navy Seals [Greatest Hits]	Playstation 2	3
**174**	Spy Hunter Nowhere to Run	Playstation 2	5
**175**	Stacked With Daniel Negreanu	Playstation 2	3
**176**	Test Drive Unlimited	Playstation 2	7
**177**	Tiger Woods 2004	Playstation 2	4
**178**	Tiger Woods 2006	Playstation 2	2
**179**	Tiger Woods 2006	Playstation 2	3
**180**	TNA Impact	Playstation 2	5
**181**	Ultimate Board Game Collection	Playstation 2	3
**182**	World Championship Paintball	Playstation 2	5
**183**	World Series Of Poker 2008	Playstation 2	3
**184**	WWE Smackdown Shut Your Mouth	Playstation 2	13
**185**	WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2006	Playstation 2	13
**186**	WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008	Playstation 2	8
**187**	WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2009	Playstation 2	8
**188**	WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2010	Playstation 2	8
**189**	WWF Smackdown Just Bring It	Playstation 2	8
**190**	2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa	Playstation 3	4
**191**	Batman: Arkham Asylum	Playstation 3	5
**192**	Batman: Arkham Asylum [Game of the Year]	Playstation 3	5
**193**	Batman: Arkham City	Playstation 3	5
**194**	Battlefield 3 Limited Edition	Playstation 3	3
**195**	Battlefield: Bad Company	Playstation 3	4
**196**	Blazing Angels Squadrons of WWII	Playstation 3	5
**197**	Call of Duty 3	Playstation 3	9
**198**	Dead Space 2 [Limited Edition]	Playstation 3	9
**199**	Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion Game of the Year [Greatest Hits]	Playstation 3	8
**200**	End War	Playstation 3	5
**201**	Fast and the Furious: Showdown	Playstation 3	10
**202**	FIFA Soccer 11	Playstation 3	4
**203**	FIFA Soccer 13	Playstation 3	5
**204**	FIFA Street	Playstation 3	7
**205**	Fight Night Round 4 [Greatest Hits]	Playstation 3	10
**206**	God of War Collection [Greatest Hits]	Playstation 3	9
**207**	Gran Turismo 5 [XL Edition]	Playstation 3	7
**208**	Grand Slam Tennis 2	Playstation 3	7
**209**	Infamous	Playstation 3	5
**210**	L.A. Noire	Playstation 3	5
**211**	Lord of the Rings Conquest	Playstation 3	9
**212**	Madden NFL 11	Playstation 3	4
**213**	Madden NFL 12	Playstation 3	4
**214**	Madden NFL 25	Playstation 3	5
**215**	MLB 10 The Show	Playstation 3	4
**216**	MLB 12: The Show	Playstation 3	4
**217**	NBA 2K11	Playstation 3	6
**218**	NCAA Football 14	Playstation 3	105
**219**	Need for Speed Most Wanted Limited Edition	Playstation 3	9
**220**	NHL 09	Playstation 3	4
**221**	Rainbow Six Vegas	Playstation 3	5
**222**	The Beatles: Rock Band	Playstation 3	6
**223**	Uncharted 2: Among Thieves	Playstation 3	4
**224**	Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception	Playstation 3	5
**225**	Uncharted Drake's Fortune [Greatest Hits]	Playstation 3	3
**226**	WWE '12	Playstation 3	7
**227**	WWE '13	Playstation 3	9
**228**	WWE 2K14	Playstation 3	13
**229**	WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2011	Playstation 3	12
**230**	Arch Rivals	Sega Genesis	7
**231**	Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf	Sega Genesis	5
**232**	Batman Returns	Sega Genesis	10
**233**	Bulls vs Lakers and the NBA Playoffs	Sega Genesis	3
**234**	College Football USA 96	Sega Genesis	3
**235**	FIFA International Soccer	Sega Genesis	5
**236**	Madden 97	Sega Genesis	5
**237**	Madden NFL '94	Sega Genesis	6
**238**	NBA Live 96	Sega Genesis	5
**239**	NHL 95	Sega Genesis	6
**240**	NHLPA Hockey '93	Sega Genesis	6
**241**	RBI Baseball 94	Sega Genesis	7
**242**	Sonic the Hedgehog 2	Sega Genesis	5
**243**	Sports Talk Baseball	Sega Genesis	6
**244**	Sports Talk Football '93 Starring Joe Montana	Sega Genesis	4
**245**	Taz-Mania	Sega Genesis	8
**246**	WWF Raw	Sega Genesis	10
**247**	Illusion of Gaia	Super Nintendo	22
**248**	Madden 97	Super Nintendo	3
**249**	Mortal Kombat 3	Super Nintendo	14
**250**	NBA Live 95	Super Nintendo	5
**251**	NBA Live 96	Super Nintendo	5
**252**	Street Fighter II	Super Nintendo	12
**253**	Super Mario World	Super Nintendo	17
**254**	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Tournament Fighters	Super Nintendo	22
**255**	WWF Wrestlemania Arcade Game	Super Nintendo	10
**256**	Zelda Link to the Past	Super Nintendo	24
**257**	Backyard Football '10	Wii	7
**258**	Big League Sports	Wii	6
**259**	Deca Sports	Wii	10
**260**	Donkey Kong Country Returns	Wii	19
**261**	Fortune Street	Wii	14
**262**	Kidz Sports Basketball	Wii	6
**263**	Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games	Wii	13
**264**	Mario Super Sluggers	Wii	14
**265**	MLB Power Pros	Wii	5
**266**	MLB Power Pros 2008	Wii	8
**267**	New Play Control: Donkey Kong Jungle Beat	Wii	16
**268**	Wii Play	Wii	7
**269**	Wii Sports	Wii	22
**270**	Wii Sports Resort	Wii	25
**271**	Cabela's Deer Hunt 2004	Xbox	3
**272**	Digimon World 4	Xbox	8
**273**	Dragon Ball Z Sagas	Xbox	6
**274**	FIFA Street	Xbox	6
**275**	Finding Nemo	Xbox	4
**276**	Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events	Xbox	3
**277**	Major League Baseball 2K5	Xbox	4
**278**	Midnight Club 2	Xbox	4
**279**	Monster Garage	Xbox	3
**280**	NBA Inside Drive 2003	Xbox	3
**281**	NBA Inside Drive 2004	Xbox	3
**282**	NBA Inside Drive 2004	Xbox	5
**283**	NBA Street Vol 2	Xbox	8
**284**	NCAA Football 2005	Xbox	3
**285**	NCAA Football 2007	Xbox	5
**286**	Outlaw Golf: 9 More Holes of X-Mas	Xbox	4
**287**	Outlaw Volleyball	Xbox	4
**288**	Project Gotham Racing	Xbox	4
**289**	Showdown Legends of Wrestling	Xbox	7
**290**	The Simpsons Road Rage	Xbox	7
**291**	Top Spin	Xbox	4
**292**	WWE Wrestlemania 21	Xbox	6
**293**	All Pro Football 2K8	Xbox 360	19
**294**	FIFA Soccer 09	Xbox 360	3
**295**	Forza Motorsport 2	Xbox 360	5
**296**	Halo 4	Xbox 360	5
**297**	Hulk Hogan's Main Event	Xbox 360	5
**298**	Just Dance 3	Xbox 360	6
**299**	Kinect Adventures	Xbox 360	3
**300**	Madden 2008	Xbox 360	4
**301**	Madden 2009	Xbox 360	3
**302**	Madden NFL 13	Xbox 360	3
**303**	Mass Effect	Xbox 360	5
**304**	Mass Effect 2	Xbox 360	5
**305**	NBA Ballers Chosen One	Xbox 360	6
**306**	NBA Live 09	Xbox 360	4
**307**	Need for Speed Prostreet	Xbox 360	8
**308**	NFL Head Coach 2009	Xbox 360	22
**309**	Project Gotham Racing 3 [Platinum Hits]	Xbox 360	7
**310**	Sonic the Hedgehog	Xbox 360	15
**311**	Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13	Xbox 360	10
**312**	UFC 2009 Undisputed	Xbox 360	4
**313**	WWE Legends of WrestleMania	Xbox 360	11
**314**	FIFA 18	Xbox One	5
**315**	Madden NFL 18	Xbox One	5
**316**	NBA 2K16	Xbox One	3
**317**	NBA 2K18	Xbox One	4

I thoroughly appreciated reading this opinion piece. So much so that I’ve linked it and am pasting the article here as well.
A goodbye letter for the anti-President
Dear Donald,
When we first met in 2014, I was a year into research for the biography I was writing about you. I knew about your stern father, your exile to military school at a tender age and your tendency to spin dramatic fantasies. I knew that you considered life a battle for survival and humans to be "vicious" by nature.*
In your Trump Tower stronghold, you were attended by aides who looked like soap opera stars and surrounded by ego-boosting emblems: a wall of framed magazine covers, each featuring your face; a boxer's championship belt given to settle a debt; a stack of clippings delivered with a note that read, "Dad, FYI -- All great press. Ivanka." These totems of greatness, which I haven't seen in the quarters of other super-rich Americans, made me think of you as desperately, and perhaps dangerously, insecure.*
In five interviews that lasted about 10 hours total, you would heighten my fear that despite a life spent in unending luxury and privilege, no amount of wealth and power would move you off the life-is-warfare view. Even worse, you told me that you might run for president because Twitter fans said you should (I wasn't surprised by your ambition and, given your celebrity, I thought you might win). Then, as we stood to inspect a framed letter you had received from the disgraced Richard Nixon, you said his only problem was that he had left office for the good of the country. In your view, he should have stayed and fought.
*You ran for president and you won. And as you visited upon the country more pain than Nixon ever did, you fought on. Unrelenting in your aggression, lies and cruelty, you presided over four years of chaos and conflict provoked by your words and deeds. Though impeached, you escaped conviction and stayed in office to redouble your commitment to ego-driven chaos.
As you refused to mount a serious federal response, the Covid-19 death toll surpassed 400,000. Defeated in your bid for reelection, you spun lies that created an alternative reality so powerful that hundreds of your followers formed a mob that carried out a bloody attack on the United States Capitol. Many there intended to overturn the election, which you had repeatedly claimed was invalid due to fraud that in fact had not occurred.*
In the attack, which was televised by news networks and livestreamed on social media, five people -- including one Capitol police officer -- would die. A DC Metro Police officer, who had been Tasered several times, heard one of your followers say, "Kill him with his own gun." Although Congress reconvened after the mob was driven out, you stand disgraced as the only president in US history to be impeached twice, and all I can think is that you had finally made your narcissistic nightmare of a constant battle against vicious enemies come true for us all.
Your dangerous narcissism was not widely noted when I interviewed you, but it seemed, to me, to be the hallmark of your personality. I consulted experts and learned that this grandiosity was likely a defense mechanism against a fear of shame and rejection. I came to believe this fear was installed by your father, who, when you were a child, demanded you be a "killer" and a "king." When you failed to meet his expectations and became a troublemaker, he exiled you to military school, at age 13. Talk about a scarring experience.
The title of my book, "Never Enough," pointed to your endless drive to prove your superiority, which, ironically, led to bankruptcies, divorces and legal defeats. It's likely these failures provoked the same sense of shame and humiliation that you must have felt as a rejected child. You once told me you hated to reflect on the past, but in refusing to do this, you were bound to repeat your mistakes. No matter how much you achieved, it was never enough. And so, you went too far. (For more on this see what your psychologist niece, Mary Trump, wrote in her 2020 book, "Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man.")
As President, your weaknesses posed terrible threats to the country. Your many failures at running businesses such as casinos or the airline Trump Shuttle showed that you were not a nimble thinker capable of leading complex operations. The Covid-19 pandemic has only made this glaring incompetence crystal clear -- and despite your efforts to deflect the blame, the country's death toll speaks for itself. More than 400,000 people have died from Covid-19 in the United States -- more than any other country in the world, according to Johns Hopkins University.
Having seen your inability to recognize others as human beings, I have not been shocked by your indifference to the deaths of your fellow citizens. Nor have I been surprised by your encouragement of violence. Violence was what I always expected from your presidency. I just didn't know what form it would take.
The power of your methods was obvious during your 2016 campaign, when you lied in a way that separated your most ardent followers from reality itself. You promoted many of your old conspiracy theories about 9/11 and climate change and added new ones on the fly. (When an attendee asked -- after first stating as fact that Obama was Muslim and not American -- about the wildly untrue idea that Muslims were running secret training camps in the United States to kill people, you refused to shoot down his claims, promising instead to "look at that."
You also whipped people into a frenzy of hatred by describing opponents, critics and the free press as enemies. I recalled reading how your first wife, Ivana, had said you kept a book of Hitler's speeches near your bed. You once corrected a reporter, telling her it was "Mein Kampf" instead (though Marty Davis, who gave Trump the book, told Vanity Fair it was a book of speeches).
For four years in office, you functioned as a kind of anti-President, inflaming rather than calming passions and attacking rather than negotiating, all while demanding adoration from your Cabinet and constant attention from the media. Having ordered aides to think of each day as an episode in a TV show before you even took office, you tried to gin up as much drama as possible.
As President, you used the authority of your office to spread baseless claims about voter fraud, former President Barack Obama and even of a friendship between former President Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sexual predator who was your Palm Beach neighbor and friend, to name a few. Many of your followers abandoned reason and dove headfirst into the QAnon conspiracy theory movement, which reveres you as a savior and regards the government and much of the news media as evil. Many of those who attacked the Capitol brandished Q symbols along with Trump flags, Jesus banners and the Confederate stars and bars -- a mix of powerful symbols that shows the breadth of your influence.
Before the attack, you were among many who called for a big crowd of protesters to stop the Congress from affirming your election defeat. After your lawyer Rudy Giuliani, your namesake son ginned up the crowd, and they heard you call for them to march on the Capitol.
"You have to show strength," you said, "and you have to be strong." You promised to go with them but chose instead to view the destruction on TV. I wondered if you understood that the violence that unfolded was real, and not something made for television. Did you order Cokes as you watched? Did you eat popcorn?
I can imagine you snacking because you have played with violence, both real and imagined, for so long that you must be inured you to it. It all started back in the 1970s when you began employing armed guards-chauffeurs, for no apparent reason. I think it was because you enjoyed the sense of menace they added to your presence.
During your 2016 campaign one of your security guards roughed-up a picketer outside Trump Tower in New York, while another physically forced reporter Jorge Ramos out of a news conference in 2015. At one rally you told followers, "If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them." When a loud protester disrupted one of your other campaign rallies, you said, "I'd like to punch him in the face."
Your tough guy image was embraced by followers who traded memes in which you were drawn to look like a superhero or shown brandishing weapons Rambo-style. Your avatar punched out a figure labeled with the CNN logo. Add this to the bigotry you expressed in words and images, which you shared with millions of people on Twitter, and a combustible mix was created. (Remember posting an image of Hillary Clinton, along with a Star of David set against dollar bills, brandishing her the "most corrupt candidate ever?").
The atmosphere of bigotry you helped create exploded in Charlottesville in 2017 as men chanted "Jews will not replace us" before a White supremacist murdered a counterprotester by running her down with his car.
Heather Heyer was one of the first civilians to die in this charged political context during your presidency. It did not change your behavior. Instead, you declared there were "very fine people on both sides." By delaying your condemnation of her attackers and resisting efforts to remove monuments to those who fought against the United States to preserve slavery, you sent clear signals about your views on race and violence.
With Charlottesville, questions about your bigotry grew louder. You made your stance clear when you reportedly said Haitian immigrants "all have AIDS" (though the White House denied it), and that people were entering the US from "shithole" countries. Add your vicious comments about Black athletes calling out police brutality, your penchant for slamming individual Black women, and your fearmongering about low-income housing, and everyone understood your perspective. Three years into your presidency, 65% of Black Americans said it's "a bad time to be a Black person" in the United States, according to a Washington Post/Ipsos poll.
It would have been bad enough if your bigotry had been confined to words, but you enshrined it in policy by restricting refugees from entering this country. This led to a sharp decline, from about 85,000 refugees admitted to the United States in 2016 to about 12,000 in 2020. If the "huddled masses yearning to breathe free" didn't get the message, then they could consider the way you cozied up to strongmen, the likes of which many of them were fleeing. From Kim Jong Un of North Korea to Russian President Vladimir Putin, you showed a consistent admiration for dictators who jail and kill their critics.
Along our border with Mexico, you began separating children from parents who arrived seeking asylum. By May 2019, six children had died in federal custody. In June of that year, Americans were shocked by the photo of a father and child who had drowned attempting to cross the Rio Grande. In December, a surveillance video obtained by ProPublica showed a 16-year-old Guatemalan boy was left alone in his Border Patrol cell in Texas for hours before he died on the floor, of complications from the flu.
How many minors died in Border Patrol custody during the four years prior to your administration? Zero, per FactCheck.org.
The deaths were just one measure of the suffering your harsh policies inflicted on asylum-seeking families. New data from June 2019 reveals there were around 5,500 known cases of children, from infants to teens, being separated from their parents and placed in facilities ranging from foster family homes to cells made out of chain link fencing.
Amid all this pain, it seemed you still weren't satisfied. You asked about building anti-immigrant moats to be stocked with alligators. You wondered whether soldiers could shoot immigrants who threw rocks. Those ideas were nixed, but the crisis continues. Because of inept recording-keeping, your administration has not been able locate the parents of at least 545 children, according to court documents from last October.
Refugee families, stuck in limbo while waiting for asylum in the United States, are still filling squalid camps on the Mexican side of the border, many of them fearing for their lives -- particularly in the midst of a global pandemic.
You got away with cruelty in part because you conditioned many Americans to believe that brown-skinned, undocumented immigrants constituted a criminal horde that required a draconian response.
You promised to build a "beautiful" concrete border wall along 1,000 miles of the frontier and force Mexico to pay for it.
Only about 452 miles of tall steel fence has been completed as of January 5, 2021, according to a Customs and Border Patrol Report, and instead of the $8 billion you estimated for 1,000 miles, $18 billion dollars have already been devoted to the work because -- surprise! -- Mexico is not paying for it.
Hyping the wall was just one example of the exaggerations, false claims and lies that came out of your mouth in such a torrent it was nearly impossible for anyone to react properly. You combined this strategy with denigrating the media as "enemies of the people" and purveyors of "fake news" with such consistency that facts seemed to lose their power. You added an Orwellian flourish when you said, "What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening."
What has been the effect on journalists? Threats became a part of our daily lives and the lives of our family members. (One of your followers found my wife's business phone number and called to say that he had located our address and to suggest we be careful.) A "press freedom tracker" run by the Committee to Protect Journalists and the Freedom of the Press Foundation has counted 421 attacks on journalists during your time in office.
Far worse than the impact on journalists is your effect on Americans' ability to agree upon an established set of facts as they consider critical issues. You are not solely to blame for this problem. However, you have both contributed to it and exploited it. You have made more than 30,000 false or misleading claims, according to The Washington Post, which have landed with the authority that comes with the presidential seal.
The easy way out for someone mired in disinformation is to pick a person to believe and go all in. Many of those who doubled down on their support for you found a sense of belonging amid the slogans, regalia and fervent rallies. They felt they were right. Those who disagreed were not fellow citizens but enemies who, some concluded, should be defeated by violent means.
The loyalty of your followers meant that ordinary politicians feared provoking the ire of your base. When it came to light that you were trying to coerce Ukraine's President into helping your reelection effort, you were impeached for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. But this fear helped keep the Republican-controlled Senate in line, and you were acquitted. Afterward, Sen. Susan Collins of Maine defended her vote to acquit you, saying you had learned "a big lesson." What you learned, it seemed, was that you could get away with anything. Even before you were elected, you claimed you could "stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody," and not lose voters.
Shortly after the impeachment trial wrapped up, you proceeded to mislead the American people about the novel coronavirus. You downplayed the dangers of the virus so that the vibrant economy, the main bragging point of your presidency, would continue to hum. In late February, at a White House coronavirus task force briefing, you said "It's a little like the regular flu that we have flu shots for." But you told journalist Bob Woodward weeks before that the coronavirus was "more deadly than your -- you know, your, even your strenuous flus." Nevertheless, you declined to organize a true national response and undermined public health officials who urged everyone to wear face masks.
You also held mass rallies where people were infected. On May 8, when the death toll was more than 77,000, you continued this charade, insisting, "This is going to go away without a vaccine." To say that people died as a result of your posture is not mere speculation. Families have told stories of those who followed your lead, got sick and died. Harvard epidemiologists estimate that thousands have died as a result of your example.
Today the Covid-19 pandemic continues to ravage the country. The death toll is now roughly equivalent to a 9/11 each day -- but many of your acolytes, even in Congress, still refuse to protect themselves and others with facemasks. Meanwhile, millions are turning to food banks. Mass evictions loom.
When I consider the hungry, the infected, the traumatized and the deceased and hold in my mind the images of the deadly mob at the Capitol, I hear your voice summoning the worst in my fellow citizens. With those words you truly established yourself as the anti-President, a distinction that cancels any claim you might make to the respect normally accorded the office.
When we met you told me to call you "Don," as if we were friends. You also invited me to examine your hair. I didn't do either because I sensed that you wanted to establish a bond that you would eventually try to corrupt. This was confirmed when you hinted that my book could make me rich if I abandoned my professional duty and wrote it to your liking.
Thankfully, enough Americans recognized your immorality and incompetence and lack of human feeling so profound that the suffering and death so much a part of your presidency didn't appear to affect you at all. They chose Joe Biden in November, making you truly accountable for perhaps the first time in your life.
After four years of your chaos, what's left is a wounded country grieving for its dead and for its innocence. But we will recover, and you now face criminal and legal threats in state courts, along with the harsh judgment of history.
As you desperately summon the remains of your following for comfort and fundraising, your disgrace is growing with the mounting evidence that your words motivated the mob that attacked the United States Capitol. This incitement may be the single worst thing a president has ever done, and it will define you for centuries to come.

“...and walk away with a trip to beautiful Las Vegas Nevada! Enjoy a complimentary 5 day 4 night stay at any MGM casino resort all on us! No nonsense, no gimmicks. Just a bit of your precious time! Call today!”
Yes. A vacation extravaganza all on the arm. Courtesy of the Hibou Timeshare Corporation. All it cost was your time and cooperation for a timeshare presentation. Simple enough yes? I wish I would have realized how much better a couple of overtimes would have served me, than taking myself to that horrid building.
I was living in Phoenix AZ with my parents. Still half way bullshitting my final semester at college. I’ve got to be honest, I was checked out. It was summer..I was going to graduate and I had these final two classes in the bag. I could have failed my finals and still walked out with a C. Yes but that kind of luxury came at a price. My social life was the casualty in all of this. While I did have a tight knit of pals, my attendance to social gatherings were...well..less than punctual. I was usually doing work for one of my advanced classes. If not that, then I was pulling a shift at either of my jobs. Yeah..you could say I gave up the glamour of late night pizzas, puking in my friends car and hooking up with a random ASU frat sluts for a heavier wallet...except I was paying everything out of my own pocket. My gas, insurance, cell, college. I wasn't exactly hiding cash in the walls. My parents worked hard but..never did make a living to give me and my siblings an extravagant lifestyle. We were grateful though.
So when I heard that AD of how I could get a long needed vacation to party central Las Vegas, all for watching some BS timeshare I knew I wasn’t going to buy into, you bet your ass off I made that call. The phone only rang once before I got an answer,
“Thank you for calling the Hibou Timeshare Corporation, how can we help you?” a voice rang through the phone. The voice sounded shrill and sickly.
“Hi, I'm calling about the vacation in Vegas? Says that you need people for a presen..”
“Yeessss.” the voice interrupted “The timeshare presentation, well...we would be so honored to have you”
“Uhh..yeah...anyway I’d like to sign up? Is there a form online or do you take the information here?” I said..now feeling a bit tense.
“Well I'll tell you what...pack your things for the vacation. When we are finished presenting..we can send you on our way to Vegas. We just need..a bit of your time.”
That was that. He gave me the address, date and time of the meeting. The area was in a place called Amargosa Valley in Nevada. Luckily it was just about an hour away from Vegas. Before we parted ways on the phone, the operator said something...he said something that should have been a MAJOR red flag.
“Okay then, you’re all set...we will see you July 28th at 4:30pm. Not a moment later” he laughed
“Oh..and..one more thing, if you have some more specimens like yourself that might be interested in the free vacation...bring them along. They’ll all receive the same prize and you will receive $100 cash for every person you bring. We look forward to presenting you, Austin. Good day.”
I never gave him my name.
Still, my young dumb brain didn’t hear anything past $100 dollars. So I rounded up a few of my best pals and we were set to meet the reps over at the timeshare. The days leading up to the trip I couldn't get a hold of myself. It was so exciting. My first real vacation in...i couldn't remember how long. I longed for this type of adventure with my friends. We packed a truck full and set off to Amargosa Valley.
I brought Luke, Larry and Adam. We’d been friends since the 3rd grade. We all moved to AZ from different parts of the country that summer, so being new kids we naturally ganged up together. Luke was from Texas..we called him Tex. Real big guy. Loved to work out but definitely was a bit of a boozebag. Larry was from Ohio. Quiet in public but probably the loudest of us all. Always had some political conspiracy to talk about. Then Adam..Adam was interesting. He was from Florida...or Georgia...or Nebraska. Adam never could keep it straight about where he was from. He always had some sort of story and backtrack about where he’d come from. I personally thought he was probably from another part of AZ and just wanted to fit in...so we humor him and let him be the nomad of our group. I myself was originally from California...things got pricey so we made the move to blistering AZ.
That was my crew. No matter how long it had been, we were always as tight as ever. The ride was filled with laughing and gags. Stops at fast food joints and all around bullshitting. Yes it was an amazing time just driving there, we couldn't wait to get on with the meeting and head down to Boozeville USA. As we approached our destination...something felt off. Amargosa Valley had been a bit of a ghost town the whole drive. A gas station here. A small outlet there...but otherwise unpopulated. When we hit our destination we were met by a Chrome building. Smack center in the middle of the highway. As we parked at the only stall..we all took a look at each other.
“Well this is...odd.” Luke said plainly.
“Yeah man...are we really going there?” Adam shook out. Barely containing his fear.
“Look guys, I know it looks weird. This place is really clean and bright in the middle of a dusty desert but c’mon. It's like what...an hour of our time? Within 2 hours we’ll be on our way to the dopest guys trip ever.” I said...selfishly.
The guys all agreed. We got out, locked the car up and walked in through the sliding glass doors. The cool air hit us like a wave. Each of us breathing in the refreshingly cold air. The inside of this lobby..was also immaculate. Chrome everywhere. Right down to the sofas and chairs. A woman came from around the front desk.
“You must be here to be presented. I see you brought more specimens! What a joy! Will you gentlemen please follow me?” She said.
Specimens. Ugh. Her tone. That word still makes me shutter.
Me and the boys looked at each other..all with the same should we do it look on our faces. Maybe it was the cold air enticing our sweaty brows. We’d been a poorly AC’D truck for a couple hours. Or maybe it was the ice cold drinks she presented in front of us. Whatever the case we followed her through a door behind the front desk and were met with a grand auditorium. It looked as if it could hold maybe 50 people. And all they had was me and my knucklehead friends. As we sat down, sucking down sodas and waters, a mans voice came over the intercom.
“Welcome my friends to the Hibou Timeshare Corporation presentation. Today you will be examining the lifetime of these vessels. Determine whether or not you think they are a smart investment and make a choice if you would like to partake!” I recognized the voice. It was the same shrill tone that I set up the appointment with.
“Now my dear friends, it's time to sit back with your favorite drink...and listen..”
With that, a large projector screen came down from the celine. An old timey countdown began winding down.
BEEP3...BEEP2...BEEP1
From what I can remember, I heard the screams of something...unnatural. A scream so high tone that I felt as if my ears would burst with blood. I tried clasping my hands over my ears but to no avail. The screams were too overpowering. As soon as it started, I passed out.
I awoke looking at the lights on the celine. Unable to sit up. I could tell I was bareass naked on a metal table. I moved my head, the little that i could to see Adam next to me on another table. Naked as the day we were born. He was encased in what looked like a light purple energy field. Looking more in depth, I too had this field in front of me. Before I could speak the tables raised up. Bringing me upright. Bringing me face to face with Tex. To the left of me..Larry. “My friends, I present to you: Terramite 99-0 specimens.” a voice rang out. The same voice from the auditorium.
“They are..of the male species. Strong. Cunning and above all loyal...if raised properly.”
“HEY, you bastards. WTF is this! LET US GO!” Tex cried out. Before he could continue, the energy field tightened around him. Tex let out a scream that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The smell of burned flesh and hair filled the area. I would have puked had the horror of seeing my best friend being burned alive wasn't keeping my attention away from the smell. When the field lifted, Tex was stripped down to the muscle fibers. Hair burned down to the scalp. Tex convulsed until he finally relaxed into a hanging position on the table.
“Now see..specimen is now sedated. Reduced to a weaker position. With the energy field keeping him contained and the Auto-Reversal Time Warp engaging, we can have this specimen back into working shape immediately.”
There was an electrical hum in the air. As before my eyes, Tex’s skin began to heal. His hair growing back. And all burns subsiding. It was as if nothing had happened to him. He still hung in limbo, but we could see the breath return to his chest.The rest of us let out bits of gasps of horror and astonishment.
I could see Adam crying a bit in the corner of my eyes.
A figure appeared from behind me. A tentacle graced my shoulder, not even phased by the force field. I caught sight of the creature. It stood around 7foot tall. Skin that looked human but a head that was elongated. No nose. And eyes that were black as coal. It had two tentacles for hands. I could not see its feet, as it was covered by a long gown.
Larry screamed in anger. “Your...your...a...a…” he managed to get out before the creature silenced him.
“Shhhh….I am...a salesman is all. Now my friends I will demonstrate the life cycle of the Terramite 99-0’s.”
With that, Larry's forcefield began to hum. Right before my eyes Larry began to get...smaller. Not in stature necessarily, no, but in age. He went from being a young man..to a teenager..to that kid i met in 3rd grade..to an infant. His cries were extremely loud. Unaware of the horrors around him. At that moment I could hear Adam's field begin to hum.
“Please no! Please!” Adam begged.
“If you will direct your attention to our third pod:”
Adam then began to scream as he went from a young man..to middle aged man...to retirement age and finally...to a decrepit old man. Hair as white as snow. Wrinkled beyond recognition. Each breath looking to nearly be his last.
“From birth to the declining ages of 70 and beyond the Auto-Reversal Time Warp pods are the perfect tool to use when training your armys, your children, your slaves. Imagine...never having to replace workers. Never worrying if your training methods or punishments might go too far. Never losing a prisoner to death. And though the Terramites look to be difficult to control, I can guarantee their cooperation once put through the proper training.” The creature said. Full of glee in his dead eyes.
Between the crying of baby larry and incoherent babbling of old man adam, the room felt like it was spinning. Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger, the rest of the lights came to life. The room we were in were surrounded by seats, similar to the ones we sat in. However, sitting in these seats were ghastly creatures of different varieties. Some looked like the salesman creature. Others were ogreish. Large bodied creatures covered in a film of slime. Some of them even looked human. It was the eyes though...their eyes were a teal color with white pupils. Many many creatures looked up me and my friends. All of them began clapping their hands and cheering in unison. The claps were deafening. The cries of the baby felt as if a baseball bat was ramming my head. Adams babbling was terrifyingly disturbing. And Tex...hanging there. Eyes rolled back into his skull. I couldnt imagine the hell he began to feel. At this point I wondered what awaited my fate. The clapping stopped abruptly.
“Oh...Austin...yes, well if you want to know what fate awaits you just shut your eyes. Shut your eyes and quietly count back from 3.” the creature said...was he reading my mind?
Suddenly the urge to close my eyes overtook me. Almost as if I had no choice, I began counting down. 3….2….1….
Everything went black. I wasn't sure if i was alive or dead...or somewhere in between. I saw nothing but black for what felt like a lifetime. And in an instant...I heard that same shrill scream. Only this time I could not cover my ears. I couldn’t feel my body but I felt an unimaginable amount of pain. As the scream grew to its peak, I slammed my eyes open. Trying to catch my breath.
I was back in the car...we were all back in the car. The engine was on. Shitty ac blasting. The others were still out. I sat up in my seat. Not wanting to move too suddenly. The sun was beating down on us. I looked over at the time on the dash…July 28th 4:34 pm. I reached into my shirt pocket and I found several vouchers for the MGM hotels in Vegas along with $300 dollars. I also found a card that simply read “Hibou Timeshare Corp. would like to thank you for a bit of your time”
The boys came too. All feeling rather groggy.
“We all fell asleep huh?” Adam laughed. “We here?”
They didn't remember a thing. Not one thing. Not going in...not the reception area...not the freaky timeshare presentation...not one bit. I lied...i told them that while they were sound asleep, we arrived a little earlier than expected. The presenter had an emergency and left our vouchers at the front desk and apologized profusely.
“Wow, what a gentleman!” Tex laughed. “We definitely owe it to him to sit through another timeshare, probono.” Larry added.
I think it's safe to say that I will not be returning to this or any other timeshare. As I drove away I could see the building disappear in the rear view mirror.
So if you’re traveling deep within the southwest of the United States and hear an ad for a free vacation that's too good to be true...do yourself a favor..turn off the radio, call into work and ask for some overtime..because nothing is ever given for free.

​
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• Hundreds of games from top casino software developers, including an exciting live casino platform.
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Whamoo clearly sounds like a promising casino when looking at the selling points, but do these points hold up when we test out the casino in real? Let’s continue our review of Whamoo with one of the most important aspects of every online casino: its game library. Which casino games can we find back in the Whamoo game collection? How honest and fair are these games? These are all legit questions which must be looked into before you can decide whether or not an online casino is suitable or not.
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Games from top software developers

When checking the list of Whamoo’s software providers you can only feel relieved as this brand new online casino only has games from the world’s top casino games developers. Especially for a newly opened online casino it is important to show to the public that you are talking serious – and you can only do that by adding the most popular games from the top software providers to your game library.
It’s not only about fun. Sure, these top software developers are known for making some of the most fantastic video slots, stellar table games. They have the most exhilarating and professional live casino tables to which you can connect in just a few clicks. But it’s more than just playing fun, graphics and game design.
By only having games from the top software companies, you are giving your players a clear message that you are only satisfied with the best quality games. Perhaps the most important aspect is game reliability, honesty and fairness. All games from the top software companies are fully tested and accredited by regulatory bodies. These gaming authorities check whether games indeed turn out completely random results and give gamblers a honest shot at winning. This is perhaps even more important than just a fantastically designed game, as in the end what matters most is reliability and honesty inside a casino.

RNG

The games which can be played at Whamoo Casino all have a piece of code called a Random Number Generator (RNG). With a random number generator, the outcome of every game is completely random and independent from previous results. It means that every card being dealt on the table, all dice which are thrown during a game, and every ball spinning around in the roulette wheel is never predetermined. Let’s put it this way: if you throw a single dice with the numbers 1 to 6 on it, you have indeed an exact 1 out of 6 chance that it will land on your predicted number.
A random number generator is absolutely crucial when it comes to delivering fair game results and giving gamblers a honest chance at winning. By having games from the top software providers, Whamoo makes sure that you can trust the fairness of every casino game you play. The good thing is that not only are the game results subject to occasional audits by regulatory authorities, but that these software providers also pro-actively test their own games to ensure they fulfil the highest industry standards. They hire independent testing agencies such as eCOGRA to check their games, both in virtual simulations and real-time results.
Let’s take a look at the software providers whose games have already been added to the Whamoo game library. As these are some of the best known software developers in the world, chances are that you have heard about some of these names before!
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NETENT GAMES

Also known by its full name of Net Entertainment, NetEnt is one of the largest casino game developers in the world. NetEnt is a Swedish company which was founded in 1996, which makes it one of the oldest companies in the relatively young world of online casino gaming. It is so big, that the company is even listed on the local NASDAQ stock exchange in Stockholm, Sweden!
NetEnt is best known for its vast video slot portfolio, of which many games are also playable at Whamoo. Having NetEnt games in your casino game library is almost a must for every online casino, as besides Whamoo some 300 or so more online casinos have NetEnt games available, which tells you something about the popularity of this company. Just like Whamoo itself, NetEnt has a full gambling licence in the EU member state of Malta, which means that all games are subject to regulatory oversight and can be trusted for their fairness. NetEnt also works closely together with independent testing labs to ensure that their games meet the highest standards.
Some popular NetEnt games which you can play at Whamoo are Jack and the Beanstalk, BerryBurst, Twin Spin, The Vikings, Wings of Riches, Aloha!, Fruit Shop, Jacks or Better, Gonzo’s Quest, Dazzle Me, Wild Bazaar and of course the eternal favourite of Starburst.

PRAGMATIC PLAY GAMES

Pragmatic Play is another major company in the online gaming world. The casino games of Pragmatic Play are always popular with the players, so it is no surprise that Whamoo has chosen to add quite a few Pragmatic Play games to its online collection. Pragmatic Play focuses mostly on online video slots, although they also make some exciting live casino games which are hosted in their own studios.
Being only founded in 2015, Pragmatic Play is a relative newcomer within the game developing industry. Yet in those few years time, the company already managed to reach to top heights with Pragmatic Play being considered to rank among the top game providers. Quality and safety are of immense importance for Pragmatic Play. Therefore, all games are documented and tested by independent auditors and testing labs such as QUINEL, BMM and Gaming Labs.
Popular Pragmatic Play games which can be played at Whamoo are John Hunter and the Aztec Treasure, Great Rhino Megaways, Leprechaun Song, Lucky Dragons, Mustang Gold, The Champions, Vegas Nights, Aztec Gems, Buffalo King, Starz Megaways, Triple Jokers, Magic Crystals, Sugar Rush, Beowulf and many more exciting video slots.
Of course, many baccarat, blackjack and roulette variants are available in Whamoo’s Live Casino which is powered by Pragmatic Play software. You are connected by high resolution video feed to professional dealers and croupiers in one of the Pragmatic Play casino studios where you can experience the thrills of a real life casino behind your computer or mobile phone. It’s almost like you are standing in Vegas!

STAKELOGIC GAMES

Stakelogic is another popular software developer which has added its games to the Whamoo game library. As one of the best-known developers in the software industry, it is always a good sign that Stakelogic games are available to play given that this company has made some exciting video slots.
Using HTML5, Stakelogic games are of course fully mobile compatible, which means you can play them on your smartphone as well. The company has also made some exciting new 3D slots which are not only gorgeous to look at but also wild fun to play. As an off-shoot company from gaming giants Novomatic, Stakelogic certainly is a reputable software developer which can be trusted when it comes to fairness and reliability.
Popular Stakelogic games are Epic Slam, Wild Stallion, Magic Wheel, Super Wild Arcade, Fruit Spinner, Lucky Gems Deluxe, Hot Fruits, Grand Slam Deluxe, Runner Runner, Turbo 4 Player Jackpot, Dragons and Magic, Big 5 Jungle Jackpot, Mariachi and The Big Cash Game.
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High limit gaming options

Whamoo is an online casino which is not only suitable for gamblers on a tight budget, but also for the true high rollers. You can place bets as low as a few cents, or as high as several thousands of euros or dollars at this online casino. Depending on your game of choice, whether its a jackpot video slot or classic table game, there are countless of options to bet big for maximum excitement and chances of winning top prizes. Further down in this Whamoo review, we will discuss some of the high limit games which are available.
Highrollers should also note that Whamoo comes with its own VIP programme in which you can quickly work yourself to the top category if you bet big. You can get instant access to your own dedicated casino manager and will get invites to high stakes tournaments. There are special weekly cashback bonuses as well for the true high roller gamblers at Whamoo. We will discuss the VIP program more in depth a bit further down this Whamoo review.
For now, let’s take a look at all the high roller games which are available at Whamoo Online Casino!

Endless rows of jackpot video slots

If you are a real lover of video slots you will be glad to hear that Whamoo has several hundreds of online video slots available. Although some of these slots are more suitable for beginning players or those on a tight budget, there are plenty of slots available where you can bet up to 100 euro/dollar per spin. This makes for some exhilarating and thrilling slot game action which will please any high stakes gambler out there!
Of course, Whamoo also has its share of jackpot slots where you have a shot at winning the progressive jackpot which can run well above a million euro or dollar! These premium slots, such as those using the famous Megaways system, offer countless of opportunities to place maximum bets at your video slot of choice.
Check the Whamoo game library whether or not your favourite slot is available as well, or try one of the many exciting new game additions! It is easy to browse through the Whamoo website. You can sort slots by software provider, or use the search function to check for your beloved title.

Join for some high stakes blackjack action

Blackjack has always been one of the most popular games among high rollers and the reasons why are quite clear. You can often bet high amounts of money on a single play and you can as a player slightly influence the outcome of a game as you need to decide whether you want to stand or hit another card.
At Whamoo, there is plenty of high stakes blackjack action. There are both normal blackjack games such as American Blackjack and multihand Blackjack, as well as blackjack tables in the live casino. In the live casino, which is powered by Pragmatic Play software, you can play several blackjack variants. Bets of up to several hundreds of euros or dollars, or even higher for the real VIPs, are possible.
Beat the hand of the dealer and hit that score of 21. Maybe it will be your lucky day playing blackjack at Whamoo Online Casino!

Grab a seat at the roulette table

There is plenty of roulette action at Whamoo as well. You can choose between virtual roulette versions, or opt for a seat at a roulette table in the live casino, where you are connected to a real-time croupier by video feed. Especially in the live casino high bets of up to a thousand dollar or more are possible, making roulette a big favourite among the real high stake gamblers.
Of course, Whamoo Casino has all of the the standard roulette versions of American Roulette, French Roulette and European Roulette. Most of these games are developed by software giants NetEnt.
In the live casino, there is also Roulette Macao Live, where you will be connected to a gaming environment which makes you feel like you are playing in the famous casinos of this Chinese gambling mecca. Live Speed Roulette, Live Roulette Auto and Roulette Azure are popular Pragmatic Play live casino versions of roulette which are available to Whamoo players.
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Whamoo's unique bonus package

One area in which Whamoo stands out as online casino is its great bonus package. Of course, there is a great welcome bonus for newly registered users. But the fun doesn’t stop there! At Whamoo casino, it is bonus day almost every single day of the week. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays the casino has recurring bonus offers if you reload you bankroll on one of those days. This makes Whamoo not only an attractive casino at the moment you sign up, but also at all those moments when you come back to play again.
300 free spins or a €200 deposit bonus

The Whamoo welcome bonus

We start of discussing the Whamoo welcome bonus which is called the “Welcombo” bonus by the casino. On a picture the Welcombo might not look too appealing as its packed in a carton takeaway box you might get at a certain fast food restaurant, but trust us on this: its contents are truly fantastic.
The Welcombo box contains a combination of goodies you get with your very first deposit at Whamoo. And what is best of all? You can decide what combo you want to receive! If you sign up at Whamoo for a free online casino account, you can determine your own bonus by adjusting the slide until you have found a combination which matches your idea of a perfect bonus.
This is a great option as it allows people to choose the bonus which best suits them. You can choose between free spins and a deposit bonus – or a combination of both. If you are an avid video slot gamer and do not care much about table games, you may want to slide all the way to the maximum free spins bonus. In that case, you will receive 300 free spins, but your deposit bonus will be 0%. The free spins in the Welcombo package are valid on the popular Amatic Industries slot Book of Fortune.
On the other hand, if you only care about table games and are not really interested in free spins and playing video slots, you want to adjust the slide to the maximum deposit bonus. This is a 100% deposit bonus of up to 200 euro. This means that if you deposit 200 euro of your own money to your newly created online casino account, Whamoo will top this up by another 200 euro from the house! If you select the full 100% deposit bonus, you will however not receive any free spins at all.
Of course, you can also opt for a mix between free spins and a deposit bonus. If you leave the slider in the middle, you will get 150 free spins and a 50% deposit bonus, for example. You can tweak this in any direction you want, for example to a 70% deposit bonus and 90 free spins. The higher your deposit bonus, the less free spins you receive. Want more free spins? Then your deposit bonus will decrease.

Welcombo bonus terms and conditions

Only one bonus is allowed per household and/or per player account. Do note that Whamoo’s bonuses remain valid until seven days after the required deposit has been made. Once this period ends, the bonus is automatically flagged as expired by the system and can no longer be released. The expired bonus funds are then automatically removed from the player’s account.
Of course, there is a wagering requirement which must be met in order to withdraw your bonus money and any winnings which may derive from it. Real money balance is used prior to bonus balance. The bonus balance will only be used when there is no real money available in your account. Only real money funds and released bonus funds can contribute towards the wagering requirement of the bonus. The wagering requirement for the Welcombo deposit bonus and free spins is thirty times (30x) the deposit + bonus.
Do note that players that deposit money using Paysafecard, Skrill or Neteller are not eligible for the Welcombo. To assure fair gaming and prevent fraud, Whamoo has placed a maximum cap on bonus money wagers, which are limited to a maximum per round/bet of €5 or its equivalent in other currencies. You should also be aware that certain games cannot be played using bonus money. There is a full overview of these games on the Whamoo bonus page.
Bets placed in certain games might not contribute fully to the wagering requirements.

• Bets placed on video slots count for 100%
• Bets placed on scratch cards count for 100%
• Bets placed on blackjack count for 10%
• Bets placed on video poker count for 10%
• Bets placed on poker count for 10%
• Bets placed on roulette, baccarat, sic-bo and craps do not count
• Bets placed on live casino games do not count

Recurring bonuses at Whamoo

The bonus fun does not stop at the welcome bonus when you play at Whamoo! You can count on a constant stream of promotional campaigns and bonus offers. The casino has recurring promo offers every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If you deposit some extra money to your online casino bankroll on one of those days, you are eligible for a bonus. It therefore pays off to wait for these days before you decide to reload your online funds.
On Monday it is Pick ‘n’ Play day to start off the week with some good vibes. On this day, the casino basically tops up your deposited money You can:

• Turn your €20 into €25 with the code 100024;
• turn your €50 into €65 with the code 100025, and/or
• turn your €100 into €135 with the code 100026.

It is even possible to combine these bonuses if you want to deposit a larger sum! Alternatively, you can use the bonus codes of WHPICK5, WHPICK15 and WHPICK35 by putting these into the promo code field on the cashier page every Monday.

Whoa Wednesday

Wednesday is for many a difficult day in the week, it being right in the middle of another long week of work. To spice up things, Whamoo has come with an unusual bonus which it calls “Whoa Wednesday”.
Every Wednesday you get to uncover your secret gift – for free, no strings attached. The casino will add this gift to your next deposit. This can be a bonus, a set of free spins, or even both. You’ll get all the details once you’ve pulled off the cover and logged into your account. You will receive the bonus details and promotional code, which you can use in the promo field at the payment page to receive your hard-earned Wednesday bonus.

Freeday bonus

Friday is the favourite day of the week for many people – and the reason why is quite obvious. It marks the end of another working week and the start of some well-deserved weekend R&R! For many people this involves paying a visit to a land-based or online casino to get their kicks at their favourite game, whether it is a card game, roulette or video slot.
Whamoo knows that many people cannot wait for the days off work to start and therefore has come up with a special Friday bonus to welcome in the weekend! This bonus day is called ‘Freeday’ by Whamoo. The casino basically hands you a bunch of free spins if you are a regular customer. For every weekday from the previous week (Friday through Thursday) that you’ve deposited 30 euro or more, you get 10 free spins. For every weekend day you even get 20 Free Spins! That means up to 90 Free Spins are yours to play with. That’s a great start to a weekend full of partying and fun!

Wagering requirements

Do note that wagering requirements do apply to all daily promo offers. These are more or less the same as we outlined above in the description of the welcome package, but do take a look at the bonus terms and conditions page on the Whamoo website to know precisely what you can expect! As always, it is important to read the small print in order not to face any surprises later on.
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A fully mobile compatible casino

As a brand new online casino, Whamoo knows that already a majority of gamblers nowadays play on their mobile phones rather than on computers. Because of this, the Whamoo casino is fully compatible with mobile devices and tablets. If you load the Whamoo website on your smartphone, it looks just as good as on your laptop of computer. It’s equally accessible and orderly too! The mobile website is a breeze to browse through and you can easily access all the important pages such as the game library and payment page.
The same counts for the actual games themselves. Whamoo only works with software providers which are known to offer full mobile gaming support. These games are made in code such as HTML5, which means that the games can simply be played in your (mobile) internet browser. There is no download or special app required to play these games. Whether you are playing on your computer, tablet or smartphone, you simply surf to Whamoo.com and select your favourite game from the library. This game will then open in your internet browser – and you can play instantly. It does not matter whether your phone runs on Android or is an iPhone, nor does it matter whether you have Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, Internet Explorer, Opera, Safari or any other internet browser. Whamoo will function just fine!
This is absolutely great as you can now play at Whamoo wherever you are, whenever you want. Want to put down some wagers on the roulette table while you are sitting in public transport on your way to work? That’s easily doable! Just take out your smartphone on the train or bus, and surf to Whamoo.com to play at your favourite roulette table. Are you sitting on your couch at home and want to play a few hands of blackjack before going to sleep? Just take out your laptop, tablet or phone and within seconds you can have some of the most exhilarating blackjack fun on your screen.

The Whamoo Live Casino

Whamoo’s live casino is powered by Pragmatic Play and NetEnt software – which are two of the biggest, most reputable software providers in the world. This is great news for the players, as you can access high quality tables in just a few clicks.
In the live casino, you are connected with a live video feed to a real-time casino table in one of the casino studios of these software providers. You can play games like baccarat, blackjack and roulette like you are standing in a real land-based casino in Vegas or Monaco! Thanks to the high definition video stream, you have a great overview of all the action which unfolds on and around the table.
All table games are led by experienced, professional croupiers and dealers who are not only well-trained, but entertaining as well. By all means, feel free to open your microphone or the chat window to have a talk with them, or even with other players from around the world. This is what makes the live casino such a great invention. Even though you might be sitting at home in front of your laptop or computer, it does almost feel like you are standing in a casino for real!
Especially for high rollers the live casino is a worthwhile addition as table limits are often much higher than in regular games. Of course, if you are on a tight budget there will definitely be live casino tables where low minimum bets are allowed too – no worries there. But it is the experienced, high stakes gambler who probably feels most at home in the live casino.
There are multiple baccarat, blackjack and roulette variants which you can play. For roulette, there is American Roulette, European Roulette, French Roulette, Speed Roulette, Live Roulette Auto and Roulette Macao Live. If you prefer the casino classic of blackjack, you will find plenty of different tables all with slightly different betting limits. Baccarat is perhaps the game with the highest betting limit. Besides the regular version, there are also Speed Baccarat tables. A fourth casino game which can be played live at the Whamoo Live Casino is Sic Bo. Just browse through the list of live casino games, or use the search function to find your favourite table!
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Las Vegas. and elsewhere..

Applebee’s- FREE meal for veterans on Veterans Day, Wednesday, November 11th.
Arizona Charlie’s Boulder: Free buffet for all active-duty military and veterans on Nov. 12.
Bandana's Bar-B-Q free meal.
BJ’s Restaurant & Brewhouse – On Wednesday, November 11, all military members who dine-in restaurant receive a complimentary entree up to $14.95 plus a free Dr Pepper beverage.
Buffalo Wild Wings is offering a free order of 10 boneless wings and fries for all veterans or active-duty service members on Veterans Day.
California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) is offering veterans and active military a complimentary meal from a select menu.
Cattlemens Steakhouse Cattlemens Steakhouse offers current and former military members a complimentary 8 oz. Sirloin Steak dinner on Veterans Day.
Chili’s is offering free meal for veterans and active military members.
Cicis Pizza offers a free adult buffet to active and retired military with ID.
City Barbeque on Wednesday, November 11, for Veterans Day to get a free sandwich platter.
Defense CASINO Veterans Day Buffet: All veterans eat free on Nov. 11.
Denny’s: A FREE Build Your Own Grand Slam breakfast from Denny’s is available for all veterans, active, non-active or retired military personnel from 5 a.m. to noon on Monday, November 11.
Dunkin will be saluting vets with a free donut on Veterans Day.
Einstein Bros. Bagels is giving away a free hot or iced medium coffee to any active or retired veteran.
Evel Pie, 508 Fremont St.: Free slice of cheese pizza for all active and inactive military, starting at 11 a.m. Nov. 12.
Freddy’s Frozen Custard & Steakburgers, multiple locations: Coupon for free combo meal, redeemable through Nov. 30.
Golden Corral is offering a free meal and beverage card between Nov. 1 and 30, while supplies last. Military personnel can then redeem their card once for lunch or dinner Monday through Thursday from Nov. 1 to May 31.
Huddle House honors active duty, retired, and veteran military members this year with a free MVP Platter on Veterans Day.
Krispy Kreme is offering a free doughnut of choice and coffee to veterans.
LaMar's Donuts and Coffee location to get a free donut and 12 oz. coffee.
Little Caesar’s– Offering all United States Armed Forces veterans and active military a FREE $5 HOT-N-READY Lunch Combo November 11th from 11am-2pm.
O’Charley’s Get a free meal from the Veterans Thank You Menu, or $10 off any meal on the regular menu, on Wednesday, November 11.
Olive Garden is having a Veterans Day free meal for all active-duty military and military veterans on Wednesday, November 11.
On the Border: Simply present proof of military ID or service on November 11th, and enjoy a FREE Combo Meal Pilot Flying J: Pilot Flying J is offering those who serve a FREE breakfast November 9th to 15th.
RED ROBIN is offering all veterans and dynamic obligation military individuals a FREE Red’s Tavern Double burger with Bottomless Steak Fries on Veterans Day, Sunday, Nov. 11.
Romano's Macaroni Grill is offering free Mom’s Ricotta Meatballs & Spaghetti meals.
Shoney’s. Free All You Care To Eat, Breakfast Bar from 6 am - 11 am.
Sizzler Free Lunch Sizzler is proud to honor and celebrate United States veterans and active-duty military personnel with a free lunch and beverage before 4 p.m. on Veterans Day.
STATION CASINOS In recognition of Veterans Day, Station Casinos says thank you to the individuals who served in the United States Armed Forces. Station Casinos is offering a free smorgasbord dinner to all dynamic obligation military and veterans with a legitimate Station Casinos military Boarding Pass. Accessible on Nov. 12, simply swipe military Boarding Pass card at any stand to get a voucher for a free breakfast, lunch or supper buffet.
THE SOURCE The Source cannabis dispensaries will respect the military with an expanded military markdown out of appreciation for Veterans Day from Nov. 10 to Nov. 11.
Studio B Buffet, M Resort: Free brunch buffet for all past and active-duty service members, 11 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Nov. 12.
Starbucks: On Veterans Day, November 11, Starbucks will offer a free tall (12-oz) hot brewed coffee.
Tap House Grill free meal offer for dine-in only on November 11.
Texas Roadhouse Texas Roadhouse will hand out dinner vouchers at store parking lots on Wednesday, November 11, from 11 am – 2 pm. Veterans and active military can redeem their dinner vouchers when they choose in-store until June of next year.
TooJay's when they choose from a special Veterans Day menu on November 11.
Grace For Vets provides a free car wash to all veterans.
Fee Free Days– National Park Service offers Fee Free Days this Veterans Day Wednesday.
Twin Peaks on Wednesday, November 11, for a complimentary Veterans Day meal.
Village Inn Village Inn will offer a free Village Inn Breakfast (V.I.B.) on Veterans Day.
Wendy’s is offering active military and veterans with military ID a free small breakfast combo.
White Castle White Castle is giving out a free Combo Meal (#1-#6) or a free Breakfast Combo Meal to veterans or active duty military on Veterans Day.
WIENERSCHNITZEL Wienerschnitzel is regarding all veterans and those in dynamic and hold military obligation with a free Chili Dog, little fries and 20 oz. drink on Nov. 11