I had been called to the city of sin for a bi-annual conference that I had taken for the past 24 years. I had sat through it in health, in the cold, rain, and sickness. I was there 10 days after Tupac was murdered, and was walking down Fremont street several months later on the day when they took Christopher Wallace. A year later in 1998, a colleague and I woke up to a phone call from my then wife telling me about what happened to President Clinton, and that was when the words, "For a blowjob?" coming from my companion led me into a similar predicament. For the next several years, a tangled divorce that I've never fully unwinded from, occupied my attention. It wasn't until the morning of September 11th in 2001 that gave me the wakeup call I needed. I scooted the young blonde out of my room and told her to call her dad, since I knew Tom was in New York that day.
Mosque bombings, terrorism, market bubble bursting, swine flu, recession, succession, shootings, a shooter, second divorce, new house, new life, and the same old job on the same old beat all meant that Las Vegas and I had been doing this dance through the thick and the thin for over two decades.
And I have never seen it like this.
My uber driver nodded, "Yeah man. Shit is wild. I only picked up 8 people in the last 9 hours."
He was young, the new leather interior in a wide bodied Escalade smelled like an expensive loan. His eyes were twitchy as he tried not stare at me, wondering if I was going to cough from all the dry mouthing I had been doing from the LAS to my hotel.
I had grown used to the stares, the selective social distancing for looking Chinese and all of its stereotypes as the weeks leading into March of 2020. The beginning trend of people instinctively coughing whenever they saw me soon became a daily ritual. It was all a part of tribe mentality I convinced myself, chuckling as I remembered the pie scene from the movie Stand By me.
That made my uber driver nervous.
"Here we are," he finally breathed.
I thanked him and proceeded to the service counter with my carry on.
"Sorry for the wait," replied the representative, "We laid off 80% of our staff this morning."
I was taken aback by her candid greeting.
"Looks like you'll be in a private room owned by one of our guests. And as it is not through the hotel, please contact your host for any services that you require. We will need a $500 deposit on a credit card for any incidentals."
Several minutes later I found myself riding the elevator up 26 stories and into my rental. I contacted my host through the app to let him know that I had arrived. It was my first time using the app service so if anyone wants to chime in on how necessary or unnecessary that action is, please, enlighten me.
I had chose this room because there was a large, deep soak bathtub. I don't have many preferences in life but if there is a chicken fried steak on the menu I must get it at least once, coke over pepsi, and onion rings. Don't ask me why they are all food based, but they are, except for the bathtub. At nearly 6'1 I am always trying to find a decent soak. When I was younger my grandmother owned a Japanese soaking barrel, and ever since then I have been chasing after that nostalgic experience. Instead I often find myself cramming, contorting, and cold above the chest.
There was not much for me to do as President Trump had canceled his conference with the Jewish Coalition, which meant that other subsequent CEO's began withdrawing from all the other Vegas conferences. Something that I should have foreseen, which could have otherwise prevented me from traveling during this time. But there was no helping it, and this was definitely not the worst place to be stuck in.
I looked into the bathroom mirror and decided to wash the trails of the airport from my face and then made my way down to the casino floors. Everything was closed. All the restaurants anyways. So I hailed a cab and found my way to Gordon Ramsay's Hells Kitchen. The best lobster risotto I ever had, a mediocre bar experience, a change of hands for an 8 ball on the street, and I was on my way into Caesar's Palace. I had reasoned with myself that my foresight was not the best at this time so blackjack and poker were out of the question. I stuck to roulette and craps, winning big at the dice. And if you've ever been to a high roller table then all the movies are true, there you will find willing women to blow on the ivories for you.
Somehow we found our way back to my room, a slew of fancy cocktail dresses and Victoria secret's underwear were strewn in a near comical fashion. A rolled Benjamin walked down Abbey road. And there's nothing quite like two young and beautiful women taking pictures of your junk to brag to their friends later to accentuate your high. Everyone loves an anomaly.
The two of them were in town for CONEXPO, one of the world's largest construction gatherings. One was 28 and a leading architect for a large firm and the other was a 32 year old forewoman who was sent to accompany her to fill in the job's specifics.
"You've got soft hands for a construction worker," I quipped.
She raised her drawn in eyebrow at me, "Not as soft as a desk jockey's."
We both laughed until our eyes were drawn to the young architect who had begun to slowly undress in front of us. She swayed her hips to the lofi soul of Joji. My champagne glass sparkled in the light as the smells of girl scout cookies lit up the bathroom.
"You don't mind if I smoke do you?"
"Oh, give it here," came the architect's voice.
"I should probably get an ashtray."
I got out of the tub and walked into the living area. I pulled open a few drawers, and found nothing. I tugged on the handles of the cabinet underneath the wetbar only to find it locked. That was when I noticed the notice stickied on its door, "Please do not open. These are my private possessions," made with a cheap labeler. "There's probably alcohol in this thing," I said aloud. I turned to look into the bathroom but neither of them seemed to care as I watched the water falling from their hair and down their backs. The rest of the night was well, you can imagine.
I woke up around 4:30 A.M. and heard an ungodly rattling. As I stirred in bed, I heard a voice asking sleepily, "What was that?"
"I don't know," came another voice. "It's probably the pipes or something."
The architect was unsure so she got up and turned on a light. She turned to look at me, "Did you get this on AirBNB?"
"Yeah, something like that."
We heard the rattle again. I could tell that she was afraid so I decided to get up with her.
"Do you know where the light is," she asked?
"Nope," I said as I struck a match for dramatic effect.
"Oh god," she rolled her eyes.
I smiled, "It's more fun this way."
She grabbed my arm as we made our way into the larger part of the suite in search of the noise. We looked in the closet, the bathroom, the enclosed toilet, and I even pulled a few drawers open for effect.
"What is this," she asked me. She had found the cabinet under the wetbar.
"I don't know. It was locked when I got here." I struck another match, "It says not to touch it or something, owner's possessions I think."
"Oh god, that is so creepy," she moaned. "I once went to this place in Lake Tahoe and it wasn't until the last day that my boyfriend found a loft that was hidden because the stairs had been removed. When he climbed it, there was a router and a twin sized bed in the corner. Super chills man."
"Well, the cabinet is too small for anything weird to be in there," I told her.
"You don't know that, have you ever seen those double jointed circus people?"
"Well, if there's some more champagne in there, then I wouldn't mind breaking the lock."
"It would be warm," she said.
"Ah yes, the important things."
We laughed, but just as we were going to get back into bed she ran into the bathroom and got a towel and tied an extensive knot around the handles.
Several hours later we were woken up with a loud banging. I bolted up in bed.
"Sir!"
My mind raced to gather itself and assess at least 9 things wrong with my current situation. Cops, someone's boyfriend, my wife? Oh shit, why was I still getting myself into these predicaments? You would think I've learned a thing or two by now.
"Sir! This is hotel security. Are you in there sir? We're asking everyone to evacuate the building."
I got out of bed and rushed to open the door before they keyed their way in, "Hey what is going on?"
A man in an N95 mask and gloves was at the door, "Sir, we've been asked to evacuate everyone out of the building immediately. The hotel will be closing due to SARS-COV-2."
"What's going on," one of the girls asked.
"Miss, everyone needs to leave. We are evacuating the building. Please gather your belongings."
I looked at my companions and subsequently told them, "I can't believe they canceled Vegas."
For the next 20 minutes we scrambled to get ready. For a group of strangers it worked decently well. We cut the last lines and split it between the three of us. A smile, a kiss, and a hurried goodbye later meant that we found ourselves rushing for the elevator.
"Oh god, I forgot about the towel I tied to the cabinet," the architect said.
"It shouldn't be that much of a problem. Someone will just take it off later," I tried assuring her.
"What if no one gets back in there for weeks?" She looked at me slightly anxious, as if she was afraid to breathe the words, and a side of me knew what she was going on about.
"Alright, I'll go back," I told her.
The forewoman looked confused.
"I'll got with you," the architect said.
"No, you two get downstairs and see what is going on."
She looked at me with these doe eyes, the same look that has kept me awake for the past several days as I am laying here in boredom.
"I'll be fine I told her."
I ran back to the room, slid my keycard and began to untie the knot on the cabinet. And in my paranoia I took a video recording of the place before leaving, just so that I had evidence that the room was left in relatively good order later. The door slammed behind me, I pulled up my app to request an Uber as I made my way to the elevator. My phone vibrated, it must be the app I reasoned as I began shifting through my luggage to make sure I had gotten everything. When I reached the ground floor I searched for my two companions but found hotel personnel were rushing people into open taxis and Ubers to the airport. An entitled prick stood outside the valet desk as a manager profusely apologized for the inconvenience and how the hotel would compensate for one thing or another as he opened the door to a Porsche Panamera.
There was nothing for me to do except get into an Uber. I pulled up my phone expecting to see a familiar message that notified me that my driver would be arriving in 3 minutes, but instead it was a message from my host that simply said, "Thank you."

Introduction:

A few months before a trip I’m usually become pretty active on this sub, spending a decent amount of time helping people plan out trips. I figured for once I’d share one of my planned itineraries, what actually happened on the trip, how much I expected it to cost, how much it actually cost, changes since my last trip, and any highlights.

Demo:

Married couple, late 20s, 17th trip to Vegas.

Planned Itinerary:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vTwil88ghO5M8CLdwNaXSg8eOo5fqZwhXSZpv20K2TlYJEPzBdUqBvC8Dq7jmSfZ5uB6UE-SMu0zZ6n/pubhtml

Actual Itinerary:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vSuckh6hJ-L7xM3wLBLgViIaMy1nUSQev53vIDN9N0F5rpynwDb_ziJfyraBYik2eu9EwpAVSaJ18Gd/pubhtml

Things to get out of the way:

Immediately people are going to jump at the fact that I have things planned down to the 5 minute mark. These are rough estimates, usually made in an attempt to make sure that we get to everything we are wanting to do in a day, or so that some deadline is reached on time, such as a restaurant closing or a club entrance cutoff. Typically we are somewhere between on time and an hour late depending on whether or not a deadline is involved. I didn’t change every single time to the actual time on the “Actual Itinerary” since that would have been way too much work, but if something got skipped, added, or things went drastically off the rails it was noted.
With regard to the cost predictions going down to the penny, before we go to a restaurant we typically look at the menu online and then we know what we’re ordering beforehand. It isn’t particularly hard to add tax and tip and then know the exact amount. We typically change things up a few times and that’s why I included the actual costs on the Actual Itinerary. Some of the predicted values are closer to guesses, but I typically added tax and tip to those to help keep it accurate as I could.
The next thing that people are going to question is the fact that we switch hotels 4 times in 7 days. I would never argue that it’s particularly convenient to do that but with the comped room I had at Bellagio, the comped/reduced rate I had at Wynn, and then the comped room my wife had at Wynn, along with our varied itinerary, it was worthwhile to hop around a bit. Bellhops are your friends, always tip them and they’ll treat you right, that is if they decide to help at all (looking at you MGM and Planet Hollywood). The reason for the Gold Coast was we were planning on checking out KAOS, but due to lineup changes we ended up changing our plans. We got a great price for the night, so we just kept it.
The final thing that I know people are going to jump at is the fact that we eat at McDonald’s 4 times during the trip. After 3am, when the clubs are starting to wind down, there are very few food options open in Vegas. Most are overpriced for what you get, or in inconvenient locations. Usually we are drunk, and dead tired, so spending lots of time or money to get food is just a waste. 3 out of the 4 times were at 3:45am because their dinner menu cutoff is 4am, and why go to McDonald’s when you can’t get chicken nuggets. The last one is because it’s literally right across the street at Palms. For the past few years we’d get delivery Thai Pepper, which was absolutely fantastic drunk food that was surprisingly cheap and available even later in the night, but they’ve closed, and I haven’t seen any particularly appealing alternatives.

Changes to Vegas since early September 2018

- Thai Pepper closed - Encore Beach Club’s poles were removed from the center island + Block 16 Urban Food Hall opened + Urth Caffé opened = KAOS opened

Stats:

Predicted units of alcohol to be consumed: 136.5 Actual units of alcohol consumed: Somehow more

Hotels:

Bellagio: Always thought of Bellagio as probably impressive until Wynn, CityCenter, and Cosmopolitan were built. Still think this. Room was fine, but not worth anywhere near the price point if it wasn’t comped. Maybe if you spring for a view of the fountains it’d be different, but at the price I’d still think Cosmo is a better option.
Wynn: Having stayed at Encore multiple times, and loving it every time, Wynn was actually really disappointing. I thought I’d just be complaining about the white and cream color scheme and the open layout with the weird TV placement, but the real problems were the room fragrance and lack of power outlets.
My wife didn’t find the odor particularly unpleasant but to me it had an uncanny similarity to cowshit. Almost decided to switch rooms, but was too tired and busy, and it turned out our later stay at another Wynn room on a different floor, facing a different side, had the same smell, so it seems to be property-wide. Looking online they seem to have a room fragrance that just isn’t compatible with me somehow.
The lack of power outlets made charging our phones, my watch, and her laptop practically impossible and was just something I hadn’t even considered could be a problem in a high-end hotel. The lack of power outlets anywhere even remotely close to the TV meant I couldn’t connect her laptop to the TV and power at the same time, even with a 10 ft. HDMI cable.
Having become used to Google Home at home, traveling is always a bit disappointing when you can’t just ask for the lights to turn off or an alarm to be set. This should be standard in all hotels, with very clear ways to disable it for the privacy conscious. Sadly Wynn’s implementation of Alexa is absolutely terrible. One room it worked about half the time, with me often resorting to their perfectly usable touch panel. The other room it never worked.
Gold Coast: Wish I had time to take advantage of the cheap bowling. Perfectly serviceable basecamp if you wanting to spend time at Palms or are using Uber to get around, although we could never get it quite to the right temperature. An absolute steal at $71.25 before taxes and resort fee on a Saturday of a summer holiday weekend.
Planet Hollywood: I’ve always been pretty harsh to Planet Hollywood, arguing why would you stay there when you can spend a reasonable amount more to stay at Cosmo or spend drastically less money and stay at either Harrah’s, Linq, or the Flamingo? For me the answer was when Cosmo is having some sort of event that causes the price to be 2-3x normal, and you were planning on hitting up Cosmo’s food options and Marquee Monday.
Our Ultra Resort Room was actually quite nice with a large layout, plenty of power outlets, and a bathroom with 2 completely separate mirror and sink areas. The only real problem was the cleanliness was the worst I’ve seen in Vegas since the Linq was the Imperial Palace. Every glass or mirrored surface had smudges, the carpet had a large stain in the middle, and the stack of ads and magazines was sticky. You’ll see one of those problems at almost any hotel room in Vegas that isn’t a luxury property, but it’s been years since I’ve stayed in a room that felt this unclean.
Ultimately it’s convenient access to Cosmo makes it occasionally a good option, but from what I’ve seen only if you have time to potentially request they deep clean your room. Had Cosmo had a more average price I’d still think the upgrade to there is worth it.

Highlights

Exodus Pass Usually we do guest list or presale tickets to pool parties and nightclubs depending on various factors. This year we were planning on July 4th weekend to take advantage of the day off work, and that happened to coincide with one of the Exodus Festival weekends. We bought tickets early, and it came to only $147.55 after taxes and fees and a promo code. With the later guaranteed entry and the quickness of entry, this was an absolute steal. 10/10, would do again. My biggest complaint is their wristband booth in MGM Grand is not the most convenient and quick location to pick up your wristbands. They should probably setup one at the hotel hosting their first event, and not just their first nighttime event.
Twilight Zone Mini Golf was fun and inexpensive, a growing rarity in Vegas.
Urth Caffe is now my northend recommendation for breakfast in Vegas. Great food, and generous size of their drinks.
While Caesars’ 4th of July fireworks show was great, the impressive thing was the sheer amount of illegal fireworks going off all over town. I know some of you have strong negative opinions about them, but having never seen anything like it, it was impressive.
Marquee had silent disco in the Library which is always a fun experience.
Block 16 has some fantastic food at great prices. Special shoutout to Hattie B’s seasoned fries, the perfect drunk food.
First time at an airport lounge. Free drinks after security, but before you fly is an absolute gamechanger.

Room for Improvement

LAS Uber Pickup The 2M Uber pickup floor at LAS is completely fucked. There’s just no other way to put it. It’s always been bad, but now there are concrete barriers that make it where far too many people are trying to move through the unblocked areas. Plenty of airports do this better, hopefully someone with some power thinks about the fact that this hard to find, hot, dark, congested place isn’t the best way to start off people’s trips. If I had time to go to Total Wine and Reef I definitely would have taken Presidential Limo, which picks up in a tolerable place.
Apex While Ghostbar always had a view going for it, Ghostbar Dayclub was well liked due to it’s personality. Apex still has the view, but the vibe was just completely non-existent. Hopefully now that Apex is under control by Stations/KAOS they can make it not just a generic bar with a great view, but from what I can tell it’s still being neglected.
Reef Weed Tender Don’t get all offended that I’m not wanting to chitchat. I called in the order, and am trying to make this transaction quickly, since I have an Uber waiting outside and don’t want to waste his time.
Drai’s Guest List We ended up skipping Drai’s on the 4th of July. $75/$50 for guest list for Big Sean seemed worth it to a lot of people who weren’t us. Got in line, found the price, got out of line. I had heard from a friend that Drai’s promoters have lately been advertising free entry and yet were charging even groups of all girls, so I wasn’t expecting free, but $125 for a couple was too steep for a week filled with as many pool parties as we had. Felt sorry for anyone expecting to get in for free and finding that mess, especially if they were on a shorter trip. Promoters should stop promising free if it’s only going to be reduced, accurate communication is key.
Masala 24/7 Indian food is a great idea in Vegas, and a location near Tacos El Gordo is even better. That said, I don’t find anything too oily, imagine the most deep fried thing you can and it’s soaking through 10 napkins and a paper bag and I’d be like “This tastes great,” and yet Masala was somehow too oily, Their naan also wasn’t crispy and had a doughy texture. My wife also found their food too salty. Overall not worth trying out, even if it should be good in theory.

Future

Originally when I was writing this I talked about not coming again for awhile, but somehow ended up with a trip August 22nd-27th.

I'm going in July and have done some research.
Plenty of this is from the sidebar, but other notes are from many of other sources.
The Vegas Degenerate Tour ( . ) ( . )
Things to do:

• Drugs
• Hookers
• Bellagio Fountains (free)
• Mirage Volcano Show (free)
• The lounge at the top of the Mandarin Oriental - Super Classy with amazing night time views, sexy patrons and great cocktails
• Wet Republic - Rent cabana 2 months in advance
• Las Vegas Helicopter Night Flight with VIP Transportation £65pp
• Grand Canyon Skywalk - Apparently Expensive and not that good - you have to take a bus to get there and it is $30 each. Go to Grand Canyon south instead.
• The Strip Gun Club Range
• Sapphires pool party - strippers pool party!!!
• Fremont Street Experience at night.
• Container Park, which is a few blocks east of the Freemont St. Experience, a 2 foot recycled steel praying mantis (acquired from Burning Man) spits giant fireballs to the beat of music A LOT. Lots of half naked men and women. LOTS (free)
• Ghost Bar at the Palms has amazing views. Check Groupon for deals. Happy hour 8-10pm
• Stratosphere rides
• Stratosphere bar at the top. Happy hour 2 hours after open
• High Roller observation wheel. Get a car with the open bar.
• Monte Carlo minus 5 Ice bar. Everything is made out of ice! Bar, glasses, seating - everything
• RiRa Irish bar with live music and good Guinness after 9pm
• The Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay, live music and amazing strip views
• Strip clubs: Spearmint Rhino, Hustler Club and Crazy Horse--those are our top 3 Rhino and Horse are high end and classy
• Top Golf location, just behind MGM. 5 levels of golf driving range, mixed with music, food and drinks. There are also 2 pools, free to use.#
• Dig This drive diggers and bulldozers.
• Spa in the ARIA is amazing with good treatments.
• Alibi show http://alibitheshow.com/ This experience throws the audience into an exciting adventure around the streets, restaurants, bars and other real-life locations on the Las Vegas Strip.
• BARE POOL AT MIRAGE: Go on Monday. At Bare, experience palm tree-enclosed seclusion as you relax and enjoy European-style sunbathing at Bare Pool at The Mirage. Read more https://jackcolton.com/las-vegas-dayclubs/bare-pool-mirage/
• Ride in a stuntplane! Actual vomiting everywhere http://www.skycombatace.com/
• Best price supercar rentals https://www.vegasluxuryrides.com
• Lake Mead boat rental boatbound.com
• Absinthe at Ceaser’s Palace amazing offensive comedy show http://www.ticketmaster.com/Absinthe-tickets/artist/802082
• There is so much free stuff going on up and down the strip though that you can just do all the free stuff and not spend a dime. From street dancers, people singing, or pictures with a grown dude wearing a diaper.
• Eclipse cinemas downtown for an over 21s only luxury cinema experience with cocktails and good food.
• The Linq promenade is a very nice area
• Treasures strip club: have a nice buffet and steak to go with your titty show http://www.treasureslasvegas.com/
• VooDoo Zipline at Rio Groupon $44 for two
• REAL BODIES at Ballys Groupon $35.50 for two

Tips:

• Hotel picker https://farm1.staticflickr.com/770/21800142824_6dddea1786_k.jpg
• $50 a night dining credit at ARIA somehow - research
• Do the $20 checking tip trick. Slip a $20 in between card and ID and ask to see if an upgrade is possible.
• Get player’s cards - sign up for the Player's Club (free) in each casino, they will usually give you some sort of incentive
• Buy water at a supermarket and keep at hotel
• Taxi from Airport request avoid the I-215 Airport Tunnel and go via Strip
• http://www.tix4tonight.com for tickets on the night
• Drinks are ALWAYS cheaper inside the casinos on Fremont than outside
• Harrah's has a "Million Dollar Pull" where you just go up and play a slot machine for free with the chance to win $1 million. Even if you don't win a million, you will always win something.
• If you want to go to top of the Stratosphere go to the desk to the right of the entrance and say you want to go to the bar. You won't have to pay the $15 to go to the top.
• Marketing manager for the Aria https://www.reddit.com/usetedistkrieg
• Have the clubs pick you up in their limos because all the cab/ubelyft/limo drivers get a kick back on anyone they drop off to the clubs and same with the VIP card guys! So if you don't use the free limo ... THE CLUB HAS TO CHARGE YOU A COVER!!! If you use the clubs FREE limo service they can sometimes wave that cover charge!! (that's like $20 a person!)
• Check for Groupon deals.
• Make sure you all download the Uber and Lyft app. Both offer new user signup credits. Free rides.
• A $400 Pre-Authorisation charge for resort fees and ‘amenities’ was taken as expected upon check in. I would recommend UK visitors to take a Cash Passport MasterCard (available in Thomas Cook and other travel agents)

Clubs

• Hosts contacts list for all major clubs: https://jackcolton.com/
• You can view hotel discounts at up to 30% as well as VIP table service for nightclubs at: www.VegasJames.com for strip clubs at: www.StripperKing.com
• XS Encore
• Hakkasan MGM
• Light inside the Mandalay Bay
• Tryst Wynn
• Vegas local youtuber and bouncehost Jacob Orth to hook us up with limo service to the Hustler club
• Places we personally recommend from experience:
• Hakkasan
• Omnia
• The Light
• XS
• XS does a nightitme pool party
• Gold Spike nightclub / hotel in Downtown is a bit more ‘Hipster’
• This list offers plenty more clubs to check out (many of which don’t require a cover).
• http://www.vegasvip.com/nightclubs.html

Food

• Alizé Tasting Menu - get groupon for discount £350 > $200
• Sage in the Aria has a highly rated tasting menu
• Aria buffet one of the best
• Joël Robuchon in MGM is crazy silly expensive but amazing food 16 course taster $425 each without drinks https://www.mgmgrand.com/en/restaurants/joel-robuchon-french-restaurant.html
• Guy Savoy at Caesars Palace a little cheaper 9 course tasting for $260/person or a $350/person 14 course tasting https://www.caesars.com/caesars-palace/restaurants/guy-savoy#.WI8vkRuLTIU
• é by Jose Andres inside Jaleo inside Cosmo. Only 8 seats, reservations by email only ([email protected]) starting 3 months prior to the res date, 23 courses. $190/person(?) without alcohol pairing
• Raku in Chinatown does amazing 8/12 course tastings for $70/100 a person
• The tasting, or "seasonal discover menu" at L'Atelier is up to $165 per person
• Eiffel Tower restaurant is a Must for dinner!!!!!!!! Fantastic view of the strip
• Good steakhouses serve food at the restaurant bar and the bartender has seen some shit. So much more fun for a party up to three and the service is over the top.
• Delmonico's in Venetian at the bar. The cocktails and food were amazing.
• Mushashi's dirty show (Japanese steak with a naughty show for the girls.) Midnight to 4am happy hour.
• Secret Pizza. A secret pizza place. Needs research! Inside the Cosmopolitan
• Bachi Burger – also to reunite with a previous memory. I still think this is one of the top 3 burgers I’ve ever had. The oxtail chili cheese fries are recommended by others to be a “must”, but I personally prefer the truffle fries.
• Monta Ramen – I’m a huge ramen fan and I understood this was the –best- ramen place in Vegas.
• Sweets Raku – in the same complex as Monta Ramen. They have some neat desserts that they make right in front of you, lovely experience.
• Wicked Spoon Buffet at the Cosmo. Everything was really good and the deserts were awesome.
• Brunch @ Bacchanal Buffet, Caesar’s Palace – This was awesome! We had the groupon deal and it was impressively cheap. Midway through our meal they switched to their lunch menu so we got the best of both worlds there.
• Gordon Ramsey’s Burgr – onion rings were incredible. The burger was pretty good as well.
• Earl of Sandwich - I could seriously eat these every day.
• Studio B Buffet @ M Resort
• The "Heart Attack Grill" lets you eat free if you weigh over 350 pounds.
• Marriage Can Be Murder - This is a dinner / theater / murder mystery / whodunit show at the D downtown. Includes tasty food, extreme audience participation and likely embarrassment. You may be called upon to dance, or play a character in the murder mystery. Comes with tasty food, cocktails available.
• For dinner, I highly recommend BLT Steak House in Ballys Hotel and Red8 in The Wynn - if you are a food lover, BLT’s is particularly worth the extra!

Sex/Swingers Clubs (Or; no, you filthy pervert - what's wrong with you?)

• The Red Rooster http://www.yelp.com/biz/las-vegas-red-rooster-las-vegas
• The Green Door http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-green-door-las-vegas
• Couple's Oasis http://www.couplesoasis.com/main/

Drive:
Drive along east CA down US-395 and crossing over to Nevada after Death Valley is one of the greatest drives I have ever done.
Guides:

• https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/welcome-to-las-vegas-travel-guide-cityguides
• https://www.vegas.com/traveltips/
• http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Free-Room-in-Las-Vegas
• http://www.lasvegasadvisor.com/tipping.cfm

Edited to include corrections.

Hey everyone! I'm PUMPED for Vegas this weekend, and since I've been a bunch of times, I thought I'd draft up a list of tips I've come up with. Please comment with your own! I hope this helps even one of you. Hopefully it doesn't get too lost in the stream of posts.
Transportation to and from the airport
There are shuttle services right outside arrivals that cost $8 or $9 per person to go to your hotel. If you are traveling alone, this will be cheaper than taking a cab or rideshare service, though you might make a stop or two at other hotels along the way.
Las Vegas Monorail
Walking around Vegas with all the lights and weirdos can be fun, but sometimes you need to get somewhere faster, or can't walk that far. One major tip I have is the Las Vegas Monorail
The stops are as follows: MGM Grand, Bally's & Paris, Flamingo & Caesars Palace, Harrah's & the LINQ, Convention Center, Westgate, & SLS.
Train hours:
Monday: 7 am – 12 midnight
Tuesday: 7 am – 2 am
Wednesday: 7 am – 2 am
Thursday: 7 am – 2 am
Friday: 7 am – 3 am
Saturday: 7 am – 3 am
Sunday: 7 am – 3 am
It is $5 per ride, or you can buy multi-day passes to save a little money if you know you are going to be using it several times. The monorail is a great option for going from the MGM to the LINQ station to get to the Brooklyn Bowl LV for afterparty shows.
Ubers and Lyfts are cheaper than taxis if you don't mind waiting a few minutes for one. Some hotels have designated pickup zones.
Medical Marijuana for Out of State Patients
I haven't tried this yet, but I'm told that Nevada recognizes out-of-state medical marijuana cards. source. That would be really handy. Let me know if you've tried this!
Food
Food can be very expensive in Vegas, although there are a lot of great restaurants, and fast food joints as well. If you want to treat yourself to some great meals, some of my favorite restaurants are:
Olives at the Bellagio
Sushi Samba at the Palazzo
Mesa Grill at Caesar's
Secret Pizza is a great option for cheap eats (and who doesn't like pizza??) The Cosmopolitan, third floor. There is no sign; follow your nose down the unmarked hallway.
Venue Tips
I went to Halloween in 2014, as well as Dead & Co last year. From what I remember:
*There are metal detectors at the entrance.
*You are allowed to leave the venue and come back in, which is great if you are staying at MGM and forget something or want to go to your room at setbreak. Many of us just got an email saying there is no re-entry. I guess we'll have to wait and see if that adheres or not.
*They will take your waterbottle caps, so bring some extras. I think they use Dasani bottles.
*You can bring in a drink, they will just make you pour it into a disposable cup on your way in.
After Parties/Other Concerts
Friday 10/28: Disco Biscuits at BBLV, showtime 12:30am
Saturday 10/29: Disco Biscuits at BBLV, showtime 12:30am
Saturday 10/29: Orgone at Topgolf, showtime 11:30, FREE
Saturday 10/29: Boom Box at House of Blues, showtime 1am
Sunday 10/30: Greensky Bluegrass at BBLV, showtime 12:30am
Sunday 10/30: Electric Bethoven at Topgolf Las Vegas, showtime 11:30pm, FREE (Electric Bethoven is a new project with Reed Mathis, kind of bummed I didn't know about this earlier as I already have a Greensky ticket, but either will be great!)
Monday 10/31: Greensky Bluegrass at BBLV, MATINEE showtime 2:00pm
Monday 10/31: Twiddle at BBLV, showtime 12:30am
PhanArt at BBLV, Saturday 10/29
Saturday 10/29 there will be a PhanArt show at Brooklyn Bowl Las Vegas from 1-6pm, and I believe a Phan-friendly lunch menu.
Lunch You In The Eye, Sunday 10/30
Brooklyn Bowl Las Vegas is having an event called Lunch You In The Eye Sunday, 10/30. It is a bowling tournament (pay to enter), and a Phan-friendly lunch menu.
Other things to do in Vegas
If you are looking for other activities during the day, here are a couple suggestions aside from simply walking around and exploring, or sleeping:
The Neon Sign Museum Make a reservation to get a tour of the Neon Boneyard, which has lots of old neon memorabilia from Vegas from the 30s to present. You can't go without a reservation. It's cool if you're interested in old Vegas.
The Mob Museum
It's also supposed to be warm out, bring a swimsuit and wook out by the pool.
I'm going all 4 nights and staying at MGM Signature. Have fun, be safe, hope to see you there! I hope this helps.