Thumbs Up Emoji with Dark Skin Tone Meaning and Pictures

Welcome to the 90DF safe space for snark, coming at you from self-imposed quarantine and fever dreams and a metric fuckton of antibiotics and anti-inflammatories. Suffice it to say I’m still sick, but I suspect a hearty dose of the bad decisions of others will have me on the mend in no time.
And speaking of diseases, things kick off with that international criminal TLC lent a microphone to, but since we’ve already signed the petition to boot his glassy-eyed Big Little Lies mug into orbit, let’s move on to people with fewer felonies, shall we?
Usman, who is totally not a yahoo boy, is living with multiple yahoo boys in a one bedroom yahoo hut, as celebrities do. Usman #2 is so entry level he doesn’t even get his own name, and Giant is his best friend and unofficial security detail. Usman ditches the yahoos and goes out with his friends from the entertainment industry to smoke hookahs without inviting Zied. Despite an internet engagement and a song with no specific references, this team has never heard of Babygirl Lisa, since, much like Pauly Shore and Prince (RIP), Usman probably refers to all women by this name.
As further evidence of his two-year mystery relationship, Usman shows off Lisa’s Glamour Shot captured with Darcey’s upcoming app, Denial for Women. His friends pause to quickly inspect what they put in that hookah. Usman assures them that it’s not about looks, it’s about getting to America where everyone in LA is a producer.
“it’s true,” Blake interjects. “But do you know where Pennsylvania is, my friend?”
Usman tells them that she’s 49 or 50, and Lisa tells us she’s 52, so she’s probably eligible for free coffee at McDonald’s and buys food from the grocery store on senior discount Wednesdays. No word on whether he’s aware that she wants him to throw his hotdog down her hallway without the bun.
Concerned friend, Joseph (oh HI Joseph) just wants him to focus on his music, and Usman admits that she gets in the way of this, because she’s jealous of every heart and thumbs-up he receives from folks with boobs or lightly feminine names, to the point where she’s been chasing people around IG with a menacing emoji knife in her heavily-filtered hand. Someone needs to tell Lisa that some people will go after your man even if he’s fresh out of prison and 90% forehead. Seriously: these folks need to watch Love After Lockup, for research.
Usman knows that the only chance of arriving stateside is to keep this ruse in motion. “I just have to, you know, try to tolerate her,” he muses, solving the problem of what I’m going to write in this year’s anniversary card.
Usman decides to bring Giant and Usman #2 with him to pick up Baby Girl Lisa from the airport, because what’s a yahoo without his boys? Or maybe Usman’s trying to avoid a post-flight car boot and fistfight, like the one Michael didn’t enjoy that required Angela for big mouth backup. Giant asks if he can hug her like a creeper as an introduction, and Usman #1 says that a wife is for one man, while a husband is for everyone. They want to know what he’s going to do if he’s not attracted to her, and these guys really aren’t getting it.
Lisa gets off the airplane and doesn’t bother with any of that fancy whore’s bath airport business, or even an air freshener around her neck before lunging for Usman. He presents her with a red rose, and realizes that up until this point he’s only seen her from the neck up. She makes animal snarls to profess her approval for his man meat, while Usman says she has a big belly he didn’t know about, but is acceptable to him. I don’t remember this lyric from that personalized love song!
Then Usman presents Lisa to two people she’s never met before. Somewhere, Jasmin wakes up screaming. All the same, the chauffeur situation creates the opportunity for them to dry hump the entire way to the hotel, while his friends dry heave in the front. At some point a yeasty lizard tongue slithers from Lisa’s mouth and threatens to pull Usman’s head into her mouth for praying mantis purposes.
At the hotel, the yahoos help with the luggage, and Lisa sees the potential for these fools to become hotel fixtures, so she tells them to GTFO so she can destroy Usman’s genitals with her Venus dick trap in their personal room 104. Ever the diplomats, the 90DF producers ask if Usman’s looking forward to driving her down to pound town, and there’s this long, 55% pause, before he finally says, “She’s not who I’m usually attracted to, but she has lady parts, and I have man parts, you know.” This is a line from Usman’s upcoming track, “Baby Girl Lisa, I Guess You’ll Do.”
In the safety of their room, Lisa just wants him to be truly super attracted to her, because she still hasn’t figured out that she’s the one prioritizing beauty. If I’m chasing dick around at 52 years old, Goddess please give me access to mirrors and the ability to acknowledge that no one is going to look at me like I’m 22. Also, give me the time to find some flattering outfits, and a personalized skin care regime before my international tour of dicks.
Time to meet Stephanie, who has a blue acoustic guitar, and the same Youtube channel as 80% of white women on the internet. However, instead of presenting the required warbling Regina Spektor imitation while butchering a defenseless trap song, she sings a wholesome little yarn about pizza. For those of you not keeping up, pizza is the new bacon, and bacon was the new vegan, and vegan was the old mistake.
Anyway, now that we’ve all developed soy allergies, we learn that Stephanie was born in the Czech Republic. When she first arrived in the US of A she didn’t speak a lick of English, so she was very lonely, until she discovered the internet is a cornucopia of imaginary friends, and she harvested her own crop, just like the rest of us. Freedom isn’t free, so she makes videos of purchases she describes as “hauls,” beauty tutorials, and anything else that will make people at home squee and subscribe.
Stephanie is bisexual, and plans to travel to Australia to meet Erica, a funky chick with a Manic Panic sponsorship who lives in the Outback and owns a $10,000 camera lens. Envy, is that you? Get out of my narrative! She estimates they’ve exchanged over 100,000 text messages, and she will get 10,000 new subscribers once she films her “coming out” confessional video and the pizza song hits the airwaves. I don’t even care if this is a con, because at least this con is more interesting than Yolanda.
“I can’t wait to touch her face,” gushes Stephanie, prompting Yonkers to declare a code blue and quarantine 300 miles around her house with a thick outline of hand sanitizer.
Later, Stephanie plays tennis with her friends, on purpose, because that happens. She says that she wants to slow motion run towards Erica, like that time freeze dude in Freaks. Buzzkill friend Heather is worried that Stephanie is about to embark on yet another failed relationship, and, time-out: isn’t that how this works? You fail at relationships and get hurt a bunch of times until you don’t?
Stephanie tells her friends that her mom doesn’t know she’s bi. She doesn’t want to keep this from her mom, but her mom has mapped an ideal life for her, and a rainbow-haired Aussie is one of those undesignated islands. Plus, if Stephanie hastily confesses, they won’t have enough manufactured drama for multiple seasons. Gay friend Spencer tells her not to lie, unless a cop is involved and the question concerns sobriety. Stephanie then raises her eyebrows, to signal every participant that it’s time to adopt The Concerned Face.
Later on, Stephanie’s family makes the 70 minutes trek to her house with a proper Eastern European feast and cleaning ambitions, and as someone with a Polish family, Mother Stephanie is on brand. They express concern about her intentions to travel overseas, because Stephanie has aplastic anemia, and this is how the Mayo Clinic describes this disease:
“Aplastic anemia is a condition that occurs when your body stops producing enough new blood cells. The condition leaves you fatigued and more prone to infections and uncontrolled bleeding. A rare and serious condition, aplastic anemia can develop at any age. Treatment for aplastic anemia might include medications, blood transfusions or a stem cell transplant, also known as a bone marrow transplant.”
Stephanie spent months receiving blood transfusions every other day, and her health is so fragile they can’t understand why she’s risking it for three weeks down under Erica. But Stephanie is going there instead of bringing her here to delay the family introduction, and because the 90DF producers want us to feel the anxiety of an action movie during our viewing experience. Stephanie, please hit up Vogmask for product placement opportunities, because that thin surgical mask you were sporting in the previews just won’t do.
If you are suddenly hit with the overwhelming odor of magazine perfume, that’s Darcey’s drumroll, and she’s here to defend her crown for most seasons on a fiancé tv show without ever actually having one. I’d caution TLC about not getting any ideas about 90 Days Almost-Fiancee, but we’d watch that shit too.
Darcey been dating Tom’s good angle all by herself for the past year, and she’s not sure if Tom knows about this. So she goes to gym for new mirror opportunities, and just before her bold effort to run her tits off her chest, Stacey texts her to let her know that Tom hired an escort to pose in photographs with him. Darcey would have seen these staged photos for herself, but her and Tom blocked each other on social media after a fight, like a lot of people drunk or in high school. If she can figure out how to slow down this runaway treadmill, she’ll have to decide between calling him to pick a fight immediately, or waiting until they’re in New York with a camera crew. This question is not really a question.
While Darcey was at the gym, Stacey attempted to get enough injections to disguise her smirk and told-you-so expression, and it almost worked. They get smoothies and gather around a table to discuss how to drag this storyline into an entire season.
“I think you should let it go,” says Stacey, reading off her hand.
“I need to see for myself, because I never learn anything,” Darcey retorts.
Speaking of folks without an actual fiancé, the 90DF producers are slowly realizing that Yolanda doesn’t have a storyline, since they mostly record her calling Williams in Manchester, Nigeria. He never answers the phone, and suddenly his instagram is deleted, and replaced with a new fake identity. Yolanda declares she doesn’t know what’s going on, which makes me wonder if Yolanda knows anything at all, if this non-mystery requires additional clues. Yolanda, I would like to solve the puzzle.
In Seattle, Avery ships little Silver off to her dad, and then heads to the airport to begin her marathon travel to meet Ash in Melbourne. Ash makes money slinging the wisdom of Buzzfeed quizzes and self help books at women he’d like the fuck, when he’s not busy giving himself a UTI by meditating with his ass submerged in water so he has an excuse when his pee burns.
Ash believes that he and Avery’s souls have met a few times at astral cook-outs, and he’s a stone sober single dad making enough cash to have a pool, a car, and endless boxes of flowers. This means he’s cult-leader successful. With Avery poised to arrive he heads to a flower shop to cash in his frequent flower points, and the florist wrecks his game by greeting him by first name and admitting that Ash is such a regular that they started selling condoms too, in a bid to become his one-stop shop. Florist dude says it’s not surprising, since Ash knows what to say to a woman, thus confirming that Avery’s suspicions about him are likely true, but at least this show still counts as a free ad for cannabis salads.
Meanwhile, Big Ed lands in the Philippines, and is ready to meet Rose. He knows that Rose is out of his league, but he’s willing to travel overseas if that’s what it takes to commit to someone he has no interest in knowing. 90 Day Fiancé then leads us to believe that despite endless phone call exchanges, Big Ed can’t possibly ring her while he waits in the airport in a bike messenger outfit, hiding behind a plant.
While he’s in the sky, Rose gets her house, herself, and her four year-old son Prince ready to welcome Big Ed and his suitcase full of assumptions. She lives in a two room house with her sister, and if Ed had asked Rose any questions about herself, he might have learned this trivia before he packed 300 condoms and Lisa Vanderpump’s lingerie from 1986.
Rosemarie reveals that her mother died, and since then she’s been living with her sister Wilma, who she considers a second mother. Rose says she likes how positive and funny Big Ed is, and considers his mayonnaise-hair The Sex, because you can’t smell over video chat. She explains that she wants Prince to call Big Ed “daddy,” because she wants Ed to take care of her son, and her dream is to have two more children. Little does she know Big Ed sees Prince primarily as a vagina obstacle, and intends to take medical action to crush her dreams the moment she’s stateside and marooned without a green card.
Sister Wilma says that Big Ed is different from Rosemarie’s past entanglements, because he has a bigger body and the age difference is 30 years, but he’s rich, so fuck it. Wilma knows her sister just wants what’s best for her son. They go to meet up with Rosemarie’s father, who is understandably skeptical of this arrangement, and distrustful of Big Ed’s intentions. It might have something to do with that 40 gallon bucket of lube he shipped in advance, along with his list of dietary restrictions and princess and the pea sleeping requirements.
Back in 90DF present, the wait is finally over, and Rose goes skittering across the airport in a bright red dress to meet her future husband and unravel the first of what is probably many lies. She sweetly tells him that he lied about his height, which he admits, and says he thought she wouldn’t like him if he was fully honest about that. Never mind that he didn’t give her a choice. Later on the producers ask if she’s attracted to him, and while giggling she says that he’s short and big, but she is attracted to him.
Once in the cab, Big Ed says he’s really tired and wants to get a hotel for the first night. This is probably something he should have told her in advance, since she has a child. She point this out, by saying she doesn’t usually stay at hotels because she HAS A CHILD, and Big Ed ignores this human obstacle, which is also his plan for the next 14 years. Then she mentions a party she went to at a hotel before, which inspires an interrogation from Big Ed, who is certain she didn’t exist before he met her 9 months ago. I’m kinda glad someone who hasn’t had sex for 20-some years is cool with explaining to us why that happened, exactly.
Next week, Avery is ready to meet Dr. Fucks-a-Lot, and Lisa demonstrates that her demand to be center of attention is working exactly as well as we thought it would. The MmmmmMMMm guy finally makes his debut, which means Yolanda’s 15 minutes is at 14:59, and Captain Creepy suddenly remembers he lives in America, and his girlfriend might be considering moving there to be his next restraining order.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!

Welcome to the 90DF safe space for snark, coming at you from self-imposed quarantine and fever dreams and a metric fuckton of antibiotics and anti-inflammatories. Suffice it to say I’m still sick, but I suspect a hearty dose of the bad decisions of others will have me on the mend in no time.
And speaking of diseases, things kick off with that international criminal TLC lent a microphone to, but since we’ve already signed the petition to boot his glassy-eyed Big Little Lies mug into orbit, let’s move on to people with fewer felonies, shall we?
Usman, who is totally not a yahoo boy, is living with multiple yahoo boys in a one bedroom yahoo hut, as celebrities do. Usman #2 is so entry level he doesn’t even get his own name, and Giant is his best friend and unofficial security detail. Usman ditches the yahoos and goes out with his friends from the entertainment industry to smoke hookahs without inviting Zied. Despite an internet engagement and a song with no specific references, this team has never heard of Babygirl Lisa, since, much like Pauly Shore and Prince (RIP), Usman probably refers to all women by this name.
As further evidence of his two-year mystery relationship, Usman shows off Lisa’s Glamour Shot captured with Darcey’s upcoming app, Denial for Women. His friends pause to quickly inspect what they put in that hookah. Usman assures them that it’s not about looks, it’s about getting to America where everyone in LA is a producer.
“it’s true,” Blake interjects. “But do you know where Pennsylvania is, my friend?”
Usman tells them that she’s 49 or 50, and Lisa tells us she’s 52, so she’s probably eligible for free coffee at McDonald’s and buys food from the grocery store on senior discount Wednesdays. No word on whether he’s aware that she wants him to throw his hotdog down her hallway without the bun.
Concerned friend, Joseph (oh HI Joseph) just wants him to focus on his music, and Usman admits that she gets in the way of this, because she’s jealous of every heart and thumbs-up he receives from folks with boobs or lightly feminine names, to the point where she’s been chasing people around IG with a menacing emoji knife in her heavily-filtered hand. Someone needs to tell Lisa that some people will go after your man even if he’s fresh out of prison and 90% forehead. Seriously: these folks need to watch Love After Lockup, for research.
Usman knows that the only chance of arriving stateside is to keep this ruse in motion. “I just have to, you know, try to tolerate her,” he muses, solving the problem of what I’m going to write in this year’s anniversary card.
Usman decides to bring Giant and Usman #2 with him to pick up Baby Girl Lisa from the airport, because what’s a yahoo without his boys? Or maybe Usman’s trying to avoid a post-flight car boot and fistfight, like the one Michael didn’t enjoy that required Angela for big mouth backup. Giant asks if he can hug her like a creeper as an introduction, and Usman #1 says that a wife is for one man, while a husband is for everyone. They want to know what he’s going to do if he’s not attracted to her, and these guys really aren’t getting it.
Lisa gets off the airplane and doesn’t bother with any of that fancy whore’s bath airport business, or even an air freshener around her neck before lunging for Usman. He presents her with a red rose, and realizes that up until this point he’s only seen her from the neck up. She makes animal snarls to profess her approval for his man meat, while Usman says she has a big belly he didn’t know about, but is acceptable to him. I don’t remember this lyric from that personalized love song!
Then Usman presents Lisa to two people she’s never met before. Somewhere, Jasmin wakes up screaming. All the same, the chauffeur situation creates the opportunity for them to dry hump the entire way to the hotel, while his friends dry heave in the front. At some point a yeasty lizard tongue slithers from Lisa’s mouth and threatens to pull Usman’s head into her mouth for praying mantis purposes.
At the hotel, the yahoos help with the luggage, and Lisa sees the potential for these fools to become hotel fixtures, so she tells them to GTFO so she can destroy Usman’s genitals with her Venus dick trap in their personal room 104. Ever the diplomats, the 90DF producers ask if Usman’s looking forward to driving her down to pound town, and there’s this long, 55% pause, before he finally says, “She’s not who I’m usually attracted to, but she has lady parts, and I have man parts, you know.” This is a line from Usman’s upcoming track, “Baby Girl Lisa, I Guess You’ll Do.”
In the safety of their room, Lisa just wants him to be truly super attracted to her, because she still hasn’t figured out that she’s the one prioritizing beauty. If I’m chasing dick around at 52 years old, Goddess please give me access to mirrors and the ability to acknowledge that no one is going to look at me like I’m 22. Also, give me the time to find some flattering outfits, and a personalized skin care regime before my international tour of dicks.
Time to meet Stephanie, who has a blue acoustic guitar, and the same Youtube channel as 80% of white women on the internet. However, instead of presenting the required warbling Regina Spektor imitation while butchering a defenseless trap song, she sings a wholesome little yarn about pizza. For those of you not keeping up, pizza is the new bacon, and bacon was the new vegan, and vegan was the old mistake.
Anyway, now that we’ve all developed soy allergies, we learn that Stephanie was born in the Czech Republic. When she first arrived in the US of A she didn’t speak a lick of English, so she was very lonely, until she discovered the internet is a cornucopia of imaginary friends, and she harvested her own crop, just like the rest of us. Freedom isn’t free, so she makes videos of purchases she describes as “hauls,” beauty tutorials, and anything else that will make people at home squee and subscribe.
Stephanie is bisexual, and plans to travel to Australia to meet Erica, a funky chick with a Manic Panic sponsorship who lives in the Outback and owns a $10,000 camera lens. Envy, is that you? Get out of my narrative! She estimates they’ve exchanged over 100,000 text messages, and she will get 10,000 new subscribers once she films her “coming out” confessional video and the pizza song hits the airwaves. I don’t even care if this is a con, because at least this con is more interesting than Yolanda.
“I can’t wait to touch her face,” gushes Stephanie, prompting Yonkers to declare a code blue and quarantine 300 miles around her house with a thick outline of hand sanitizer.
Later, Stephanie plays tennis with her friends, on purpose, because that happens. She says that she wants to slow motion run towards Erica, like that time freeze dude in Freaks. Buzzkill friend Heather is worried that Stephanie is about to embark on yet another failed relationship, and, time-out: isn’t that how this works? You fail at relationships and get hurt a bunch of times until you don’t?
Stephanie tells her friends that her mom doesn’t know she’s bi. She doesn’t want to keep this from her mom, but her mom has mapped an ideal life for her, and a rainbow-haired Aussie is one of those undesignated islands. Plus, if Stephanie hastily confesses, they won’t have enough manufactured drama for multiple seasons. Gay friend Spencer tells her not to lie, unless a cop is involved and the question concerns sobriety. Stephanie then raises her eyebrows, to signal every participant that it’s time to adopt The Concerned Face.
Later on, Stephanie’s family makes the 70 minutes trek to her house with a proper Eastern European feast and cleaning ambitions, and as someone with a Polish family, Mother Stephanie is on brand. They express concern about her intentions to travel overseas, because Stephanie has aplastic anemia, and this is how the Mayo Clinic describes this disease:
“Aplastic anemia is a condition that occurs when your body stops producing enough new blood cells. The condition leaves you fatigued and more prone to infections and uncontrolled bleeding. A rare and serious condition, aplastic anemia can develop at any age. Treatment for aplastic anemia might include medications, blood transfusions or a stem cell transplant, also known as a bone marrow transplant.”
Stephanie spent months receiving blood transfusions every other day, and her health is so fragile they can’t understand why she’s risking it for three weeks down under Erica. But Stephanie is going there instead of bringing her here to delay the family introduction, and because the 90DF producers want us to feel the anxiety of an action movie during our viewing experience. Stephanie, please hit up Vogmask for product placement opportunities, because that thin surgical mask you were sporting in the previews just won’t do.
If you are suddenly hit with the overwhelming odor of magazine perfume, that’s Darcey’s drumroll, and she’s here to defend her crown for most seasons on a fiancé tv show without ever actually having one. I’d caution TLC about not getting any ideas about 90 Days Almost-Fiancee, but we’d watch that shit too.
Darcey been dating Tom’s good angle all by herself for the past year, and she’s not sure if Tom knows about this. So she goes to gym for new mirror opportunities, and just before her bold effort to run her tits off her chest, Stacey texts her to let her know that Tom hired an escort to pose in photographs with him. Darcey would have seen these staged photos for herself, but her and Tom blocked each other on social media after a fight, like a lot of people drunk or in high school. If she can figure out how to slow down this runaway treadmill, she’ll have to decide between calling him to pick a fight immediately, or waiting until they’re in New York with a camera crew. This question is not really a question.
While Darcey was at the gym, Stacey attempted to get enough injections to disguise her smirk and told-you-so expression, and it almost worked. They get smoothies and gather around a table to discuss how to drag this storyline into an entire season.
“I think you should let it go,” says Stacey, reading off her hand.
“I need to see for myself, because I never learn anything,” Darcey retorts.
Speaking of folks without an actual fiancé, the 90DF producers are slowly realizing that Yolanda doesn’t have a storyline, since they mostly record her calling Williams in Manchester, Nigeria. He never answers the phone, and suddenly his instagram is deleted, and replaced with a new fake identity. Yolanda declares she doesn’t know what’s going on, which makes me wonder if Yolanda knows anything at all, if this non-mystery requires additional clues. Yolanda, I would like to solve the puzzle.
In Seattle, Avery ships little Silver off to her dad, and then heads to the airport to begin her marathon travel to meet Ash in Melbourne. Ash makes money slinging the wisdom of Buzzfeed quizzes and self help books at women he’d like the fuck, when he’s not busy giving himself a UTI by meditating with his ass submerged in water so he has an excuse when his pee burns.
Ash believes that he and Avery’s souls have met a few times at astral cook-outs, and he’s a stone sober single dad making enough cash to have a pool, a car, and endless boxes of flowers. This means he’s cult-leader successful. With Avery poised to arrive he heads to a flower shop to cash in his frequent flower points, and the florist wrecks his game by greeting him by first name and admitting that Ash is such a regular that they started selling condoms too, in a bid to become his one-stop shop. Florist dude says it’s not surprising, since Ash knows what to say to a woman, thus confirming that Avery’s suspicions about him are likely true, but at least this show still counts as a free ad for cannabis salads.
Meanwhile, Big Ed lands in the Philippines, and is ready to meet Rose. He knows that Rose is out of his league, but he’s willing to travel overseas if that’s what it takes to commit to someone he has no interest in knowing. 90 Day Fiancé then leads us to believe that despite endless phone call exchanges, Big Ed can’t possibly ring her while he waits in the airport in a bike messenger outfit, hiding behind a plant.
While he’s in the sky, Rose gets her house, herself, and her four year-old son Prince ready to welcome Big Ed and his suitcase full of assumptions. She lives in a two room house with her sister, and if Ed had asked Rose any questions about herself, he might have learned this trivia before he packed 300 condoms and Lisa Vanderpump’s lingerie from 1986.
Rosemarie reveals that her mother died, and since then she’s been living with her sister Wilma, who she considers a second mother. Rose says she likes how positive and funny Big Ed is, and considers his mayonnaise-hair The Sex, because you can’t smell over video chat. She explains that she wants Prince to call Big Ed “daddy,” because she wants Ed to take care of her son, and her dream is to have two more children. Little does she know Big Ed sees Prince primarily as a vagina obstacle, and intends to take medical action to crush her dreams the moment she’s stateside and marooned without a green card.
Sister Wilma says that Big Ed is different from Rosemarie’s past entanglements, because he has a bigger body and the age difference is 30 years, but he’s rich, so fuck it. Wilma knows her sister just wants what’s best for her son. They go to meet up with Rosemarie’s father, who is understandably skeptical of this arrangement, and distrustful of Big Ed’s intentions. It might have something to do with that 40 gallon bucket of lube he shipped in advance, along with his list of dietary restrictions and princess and the pea sleeping requirements.
Back in 90DF present, the wait is finally over, and Rose goes skittering across the airport in a bright red dress to meet her future husband and unravel the first of what is probably many lies. She sweetly tells him that he lied about his height, which he admits, and says he thought she wouldn’t like him if he was fully honest about that. Never mind that he didn’t give her a choice. Later on the producers ask if she’s attracted to him, and while giggling she says that he’s short and big, but she is attracted to him.
Once in the cab, Big Ed says he’s really tired and wants to get a hotel for the first night. This is probably something he should have told her in advance, since she has a child. She point this out, by saying she doesn’t usually stay at hotels because she HAS A CHILD, and Big Ed ignores this human obstacle, which is also his plan for the next 14 years. Then she mentions a party she went to at a hotel before, which inspires an interrogation from Big Ed, who is certain she didn’t exist before he met her 9 months ago. I’m kinda glad someone who hasn’t had sex for 20-some years is cool with explaining to us why that happened, exactly.
Next week, Avery is ready to meet Dr. Fucks-a-Lot, and Lisa demonstrates that her demand to be center of attention is working exactly as well as we thought it would. The MmmmmMMMm guy finally makes his debut, which means Yolanda’s 15 minutes is at 14:59, and Captain Creepy suddenly remembers he lives in America, and his girlfriend might be considering moving there to be his next restraining order.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! Check me out at patreon.com/Fractalfay

Hello this is my first time uploading any content here in this subreddit and i want to greet yugo's owner because is a really great guy. A little bit backstory, I am a cosplayer for four years now, and i met my cosplayer boyfriend 3 years ago in cosplay event in a nearby town. He was actually my second boyfriend and he'll be the one i will be talking about in this story. When he became my boyfriend it was just a month after i broke up from my ex boyfriend because i was looking for some comfort from a someone who understands me, because i was quite distraught and naive on my decisions, You see i am so sheltered by my parents that i even don't know how to deal with harsher situations and me secretly getting relationship without my parents knowing. You see, he became my boyfriend the same year i met him, and i met him by march and he became my boyfriend by october. it is also the time of my 18th birthday and i don't want to ruin my debut. at first, he promise me comfort, he promised me more love and commitment and yes, he is committed, we also secretly make out by renting motel rooms during the daytime and you know, make love. He told me he was sorry, because i wasn't able to receive lavish gifts from him because he was always broke. During that time he was graduating in college and i was in college, i understand that i want a simple man but not too simple that he wasn't able to do any house chores. our relationship by the first, comes with ups and downs because of our opposing beliefs, i am a catholic and he is also a catholic but he does not follow any catholic traditions i understand his faith but he have to respect my own beliefs because i do respect his, we both agreed that we will get married in the future in a catholic church but besides that our other beliefs and our faith are quite in a separate way. Our first year of our relationship, it has some typical ups and downs like me inviting him to sleep over in the house on christmas and new year and him never give proper regards on my parents like calling my mom "ate" (sister) instead or Ma'am or auntie. My mom is in the lighter spectrum of being a karen that she is quite offended of all unconventional mannerisms me and my boyfriend do. My boyfriend sees how attached I am to my family since I am a family oriented person that I wasn't able to chat him frequently because of a business me and my family are managing. Then he dropped the first bombshell; He chatted me in a serious tone: "If you are gonna choose only one, is it Me or Your Family?" I was taken aback by his question, what did I do? I kept on chatting him, we always make out, we always talk personally, why ask me such question out of nowhere? I cried for days, he is trying to manipulate my feelings that I better break up with him if I prefer my family, I am so sad and confused during that time that I also confessed to my parents that I am in relationship with him but I wanna break up with him because of what he told me. My family are horrified not because of the revelation, but because of his choice given to me earlier. I didn't talk to him in months, blocked him into every social media we both are in, he apologized profusely during a cosplay event we both attend and I naively accepted. The more we are in the relationship, I can feel his emotional manipulations, him telling me what or not to wear, secretly asking a classmate of mine to look over for him on me, and I believe he just wanted to protect me against men who are not supposedly be around me and I understand him, He's a guy and he know what is a man since in our family the only man there is my father. Then years came by, I usually cosplay guys and note that I am female, I am so inlove on the original yugioh that I wanna cosplay at least handful of characters in that anime, the best one I chose is dark magician girl, if you google her her clothing is so short, so when I joined the event my boyfriend is mad at me because some "Otakus and weeaboos" who are males are looking straight up on my tits, I understand but I wanna cosplay her though. then after that, more mental manipulation, more guilt tripping and more silent treatment on him. when I wasn't able to reply him on messenger, he gives me the "Thumbs up emoji" treatment, he repliess me with a few choice words and refused to reply if I ask him what's wrong. But to give him credit, he is very very supportive of all the things I do, all the activities I'm in, and I thank him for that, he was there on my cosplay failure and my cosplay success. He is a black belter in taekwondo but he never attempted to hurt me or assert dominance against me when I don't feel comfortable, or we are in a fight. He never threatened me with violence and he loved me for who I am and he is very loyal to me and have great friends who became my friends too. yet, I was quite frustrated when I wanna teach him something such as playing a ukelele, which is a very easy instrument, or crocheting, or planting succulents or him doing a voiceover for an animatic of a comic I am currently working on or teaching him how to cook his hated foods and redeeming his trust on those vegetables, but no. He said "Soon... Not now" like he is killing the vibe! I know I sound selfish for that but, I wanna spend time with him doing those. Then this effing pandemic arrives, our Making out and dates and cospay events are cancelled, he is desperate for me, and he gets more agitated when I wasn't able to reply on his messages or picking up his calls. Then he confessed me this. though a message. (note that my boyfriend is very edgy when I met him, Imagine me as Naruto and him being Sasuke in a dynamic way) he said; "I was abused by my alcholic father for years, then my mom left me to my father to work abroad for 3 years and my childhood isn't nice that I don't value my life anymore, but once I met you, My life got it's meaning again, I want to live my life with you. I am depressed for my whole life and you're my only comfort." I am quite shocked, while I was sheltered so much by my parents, he was treated the opposite way, I cannot say he's really depressed because he never got to talk to a psychiatrist to diagnose him that, but turns out the more I talk to him, I became his personal theraphist, which is no big deal to me since I love the guy, I just don't know how to deal with his tantrums (He's 21 btw he's just 8 months older than me), his annoying silent treatment, his out of the blue getting mad at me. The main reason I posted this here is to ask advice of how I can cope with my boyfriend, epecially him getting upset that he wasn't getting a job during these hard times and venting his anger on me as if it's my fault of him being jobless right now. guys, Psychologists and theraphists are expensive in my country and we are not so rich, I cosplay for competition and prices to cope up with my financial standing, and consulting one will give stigma to you of being a crazy or a mad person. I am very concerned of my mental health and my boyfriend's mental health, I love him and I also love myself. I cannot open up to my parents because they don't know that we are still in a relationship. what are the things I can do by not ditching him? I don't wanna leave my poor boyfriend, because I love him, but how can I sleep peacefully at night not worrying his unpredictable outbursts? each of your comments are well accepted and appreciated. Thank you.

After the baby shower I did everything I could to avoid my MIL. And when I say everything, I mean, I went to the mobile store and changed my number so she wouldn’t have it anymore. I was so tired of her constantly calling me and texting me. I told her so many times how tiring being pregnant was this trimester and how badly I needed sleep. She’d call me starting at 9 a.m. and she’d call two or three times. She’d send me texts saying to “Call her back”. Extremely trite and when I’d call it would be fucking nonsense. “Do you have a stroller for the baby?” Bullshit like that because she was constantly shopping and finally felt like she had a perfect excuse to spend money. She needed to know right then and there when she found a deal, so I needed to tell her ASAP! So, I gave myself some peace and told DH I had to change my number due to telemarketers. They were also incessant but were much more welcome than his mom. It really worked out in my favor. She told DH I wasn’t responding and he’d said I changed my number. Thankfully she left it at that.
She was however still sending me videos on FB messenger on how to take care of a baby. Some were infant CPHeimlich videos, some were bathing babies, but the ones that fucking got me were “don’t shake your baby no matter what” videos. Like I don’t have a working knowledge AT ALL of how babies work. I just keep ignoring it, letting her see that I’ve seen them but I won’t say anything. The whole “nothing nice to say…don’t say anything” bit. I responded to the first message, a cpr one, saying “thank you, DH and I know how to do this already!” She responded with a thumbs up emoji. She sent me more videos, repeats of what she’d already sent. I finally lost my resolve and responded to her again.
“You’ve sent this to me before. Just so you know, I’ve been around a lot of babies. I’ve got this, thanks though. If I need help I’ll ask.”
I was fucking seething. My poor DH has another fight to resolve now. I don’t care, she asked for it. I explain that I finally had enough and tried being nice about it. He was stopping by there to pick something up anyway so he mentioned it to her. She tells him she thought I’d be happy about them and she’d apologize to me. She didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. I guess she then tries to show DH one of the videos. He says he watched it for a solid 45 sec before deciding that she was stupid. He told her it wasn’t right for her to send me those and she’s essentially saying she doesn’t trust me to be a mother. She argues that’s not what she was trying to do and says again she’ll fix it.
She responds something like “no worries, I didn’t think you’d take it so personal, I thought it’d be something you’d appreciate but nvm. I would’ve at least responded, thanks for sharing.”
That’s her version of an apology. I don’t even feel like tearing it apart right now, it’s glaringly obvious how horrible it is. I show DH and he just rolls his eyes. I tell him I’m so over her and her bs and he agrees. He then tells me something that makes us both laugh.
“When I was there she asked me to ask you to please, please let her in the delivery room and she knows your mom is going to be there. I told her flat out no.” I love him. I would’ve told him he wasn’t allowed in there had he given her the ok though.
We then get into the discussion of waiting room warriors. To which my anxious ass is highly against. I had a scheduled induction, no way was I going to allow anyone to just sit around and wait. He didn’t get it. I spent days trying to explain before asking for help on my What to Expect app. The wonderful ladies there actually pointed me here. They gave me great advice and he finally agreed. I told him I hoped he understood my mom was there for me, not her grand baby. He told me he fully understood, no big deal.
I go a week overdue before my scheduled induction and 18 hours of labor before meeting our DD. The first 12 hours I meditated through my contractions and knew I could push her out no problem. My midwife was worried about the babies heartbeat at one point. She rolls me on my side and my heartbeat and oxygen levels plummet. They get a breathing mask on me while DH is getting himself lunch. She looks at my charts and explains that my baby is face up, instead of face down. Meaning her skull is pushing on my spine and that’s why I was experiencing back labor (the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life, I didn’t feel the contractions anywhere but my lower back). She explained that at the rate I was going I would need an epidural, some other drug that would effect baby, or a csection.
DH and I had discussed the epidural and we were a firm no. I was afraid of permanent back problems, because mine isn’t in the best shape to begin with. I began to cry and she asks why I was so adamant about no epidural. She explains the positives and negatives for me and I end up really wanting the epidural. By the time DH comes back she’s paging the anesthesiologist. He looks shocked and we explain what’s going on. He says “I thought you didn’t want an epidural, what happened?” I say “it’s that or another surgery, get on board.” He quickly does and becomes super supportive again.
I go about 5 hours with an epidural (I had a fucking hotspot on my asshole ovary, yes I have an ovary that is extra mean to me, I should’ve let my OB take him!) until it’s time to push and they ask if I want a mirror. Um, fuck yeah I do! I pushed like a champ and met DD within 30 minutes, a little before 2 a.m. They place her on my chest and my whole world stops. My tiny little body held and nurtured her for 9 months and she is finally here! I was in shock and couldn’t stop staring at her. They ask to take her to be weighed and so DH can hold her. I’m sad I have to hand her over already and look at the clock. I’d held her and nursed her and cooed at her for an hour already. It felt like 5 minutes, how is that even possible? Time moves so quickly after you have a baby, it’s quite strange.
Anyhow, we get to the mommy ward at around 5:30 and manage to fall inbetween asleep and awake. The nurses offer to take DD and we both refuse, not wanting her out of our sight. We get woken up at 9:30 by one of my best friends. I’m pissed. She didn’t call or text, what right did she have to be there without an invitation? I try not to let her wake anyone, to no avail. My beautiful baby and DH wake and we spend time with bf even though I should’ve told her to gtfo. DH texts his mom around 10:30. She decides she’ll bring us lunch and she’ll be there in about an hour. My parents come around 11. We spend a bit of time together, my mom holds he baby for a bit and then dhs parents show up around 11:30 with lunch. Mil waltz’s in and instantly gets the baby. She insists on my parents taking pictures with her and fil. She then insists on DH and I taking a photo. I say “no thank you, I really don’t feel like taking photos right now.” She turns into her pushy self and tries to tell my parents to come stand by me and tries to force us into it anyway. DH puts his foot down and says that I’ve already told her I don’t want to be photographed and she needs to drop it already. It was pretty awkward, as usual she pouts and tries to explain herself. Everyone ignores her.
(I might have mentioned this before but I’m not sure, I hate my picture being taken. I have some self esteem and anxiety issues and I just really don’t like it. My mil is obsessed with taking photos. What a great combo.)
My parents then leave. They’d been there for like 45 minutes. I was thinking that’s the time people hang out for, cool. Mil should leave soon, right? Well she’s officially been holding the baby the entire time she’s been there, so about 15-30 minutes. She insists on us eating lunch, I eat a bit while watching the baby like a hawk. She’s hungry. I can see it and say I need to feed her.
Fil gets up and says that’s his cue to leave, MiL stays. I pull my whole tit out and pop it in DDs mouth like an expert (she latched right away from the beginning, she loves milk) hoping to scare off mil for a few minutes. Nope! She gets all up in my titties to the point where I could’ve sprayed her in the mouth with the other nipple. “Awwwww howwwww cuuuuute!” I forgot she doesn’t know what boundaries are, yay me.
DD finishes eating and fil comes back. DH asks if he’d like to hold he baby. He says I guess, for a minute. When he was tired of holding her (a solid 1-2 minutes in) mil quickly takes her back. DH whispers to me he’s going to go home to let the dog out. I fucking panic. I use my eyes to beg him to stay. He says “I won’t be long” we live 30 minutes from the hospital, so it’s a full hour if he drove there and immediately turned around. I can’t tell him not to leave me with them while they’re in the same room. He says it’s fine he’ll stay and they hear, so they ask about it. They then pressure him to leave, the dog needs him, we haven’t been home since the day before. It’s fine, go, they’ll take care of me. He says ok be back soon. I’m so mad at him I could kill him. We sit in silence for a bit until a nurse walks in. She ends up sensing the awkward and talks to the in laws for a good 30 minutes. She’s still holding my baby. Why don’t I ask for her back? I have crippling anxiety. I’m terrified she’s going to scream “nooooo she’s my baby!!!” And fly off with her like the screeching pterodactyl she is. About 15 minutes before he comes back I quietly ask mil if she’ll please give me back the baby so I can feed her. She looks surprised and says “oh of course!” And brings her over. I nurse her again while MiL holds up a towel or something so fil can’t see. She’s still staring at my titties. I should’ve offered her the other one, how rude of me.
2 hours goes by before my DH returns. She held my baby for almost 4 hours and my DH saw nothing wrong with it. I should’ve been more forward. Even though he knows me and knows that I have a hard time doing that with his mom. Her backlash at people gives me horrible anxiety so I avoid it as much as I can. I’m so hurt and feel so robbed of precious skin to skin time with dd. I had previously told DH I wanted to spend as much time as I could tittles out, baby on me. I got about 3 hours of that total in the hospital before we went home.
Yes, I’m a doormat. I am also mad at myself for this stuff and am aware of what I should’ve done differently, now. In the moment there was no solution in sight for me, I felt physically stuck. I was bleeding profusely still and was terrified of mil and fil seeing it. I figured they wouldn’t have stayed for almost 4 hours. Who the fuck does that to someone that just had a baby????
I was also informed the following week by my mother that mil texted her while I was in labor, to whine about how unfair it was that she wasn’t there too and how jealous she was of my mom.... what?

What up, my people!
It’s another episode of Joan Crayford! I'd say most of this is BEC compared to her usual but it's a story none the less.
Disclaimer: This is a past event. No advice is necessary.
So the last story I told you was about the events immediately following JC’s return to American soil after her plastic surgery. What a joy it was. Anyways…this story’s events take place a week after I saw her for the first time since her return.
As soon as I left the house from seeing her I went right back to avoiding her. She doesn’t call me every day because she’s the type of person who expects people to come to her. She knows that’ll never happen with me because A.) I don’t need anything from her and B.) I don’t like her. She might not get “B” yet.
So her only recourse to talk to me is to try to seek me out. However…I just don’t like the way she does it. Rarely does she call or text for conversation, no. What I get is a facebook messenger IM. Every time I get an alert that she messaged me I just so happen to not look at facebook for a few hours. Weird coincidence. So a week after I saw her she messaged me:
JC: (verbatim) Hello there – hi (waving hand emoji)- can you call me (thumbs up emoji)
This bothers me for multiple reasons. Mostly it feels weirdly passive aggressive because of her use of emojis and…why don’t you just call me? Instead of asking me to call you?
I decided to avoid facebook. After 3 hours I messaged back.
Me: Hi is everything ok? (because surely if you can’t call me something is horribly wrong)
She reads it but doesn’t respond for an hour. Idk if she was trying to play my game but if so she’s only doing me a favor by delaying her response.
JC: Yes sweetheart- just checking on you… are you available to talk call me (thumbs up emoji)
I waited until the wee hours of the morning to read it and by then it just seemed rude to call at that hour so I went to sleep. I’m petty. Sue me.
The next day my family decided to invite BF and his family to a little small get together at our place. Lots of food and just drinking and hanging out. My family knows she’s insane but they’re mostly amused at how ridiculous she is (for example: for new years, we had a similar little get together. VERY CASUAL. We told her this. She showed up in an evening gown and everyone laughed at how she predictably over dressed for attention). My family has my back and because I deal with her more than they do my mom decides to run interference in case she tries to crowd me (I swear to god this woman is a living saint. She’s amazing. She’s the sweetest person in the entire world and my boyfriend is so enamored with her and how well she treats him and everyone around her. Such a stark contrast to what he’s known growing up).
Another thing to mention, JC doesn’t eat pork. She came to a cook out a year before and couldn’t eat anything cause we made ribs and baked beans with pork in it. She claimed it was for health reasons and even dug up some weird note to prove her claim which I didn’t challenge her on or care about. It seemed it was just more for personal preference but idc. Do you. So I brought it up to my parents because they had no idea and were going to make a similar meal again. My parents are very chill and accommodating so my dad gives BF 2 lbs of chicken thighs to cook up (BF begged to contribute because he’s amazing) and dad went the extra mile of making 2 sets of baked beans, one with pork chunks and one without. All is well now.
So the day arrives and BF, BIL, and JC arrive. I go to greet them after greeting our other guests and I go to give her a quick hug. She pulls the European air cheek kiss. Fine. I’m in front of close family and friends so I’ll be polite. We do one on each side and I pull back. BITCH PULLS ME BACK IN FOR ANOTHER THIRD AIR KISS. LET GO OF ME. Seriously she’s never done 3 it was bizarre and I felt trapped. I stood up straight and loudly said, “OH HEY BIL!!!” and moved from her to hug him. He and I never hug (He’s an awkward teen and I’m an awkward adult) but it was my way of escaping. I high tail it outta the kitchen with their coats and the ladies purses.
I come back and she zeros in on me.
JC: OH SLAINTE BOYO!!! I LOVE THAT TOP!!!
I’ll admit it’s a cool shirt. It’s a white shirt with Princess Mononoke’s mask on it and the movie title written in Japanese. I had it tied off in a knot in the front cause I’m young and hip (or at least I try). The woman has never worn anything like this. It’s not her style. All she ever talks about is her Gucci dresses she can’t fit into anymore (OH BUT I WAS A SIZE 2 I LOVE MY GUCCI DRESSES I WISH I HADN’T SOLD THEM. I get it). I just tell her thanks and move on.
5 mins later as I’m puttering around the kitchen to help.
JC: Slainteboyo I love your top!!!
Me:…thanks
Now I decide to leave her line of sight cause at this point I just wanna chill. BF, BIL, and I sit in the living room next to the kitchen where JC is excitedly telling everybody about her vacation to South America. Except…she has this REALLY annoying habit of wanting to tell people about something but wanting others to do it for her.
JC: OH I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY VACATION!!
Family friend: Oh ok yeah! (She’s a very nice lady and a good listener so she keeps JC’s attention)
JC: MR. (their family last name), TELL THEM ABOUT THE VACATION!!
BIL and BF: …Which one of us are you talking to…?
JC: BF TELL THEM!!!
BF: You were there…
JC: OH HAHAHAHAHA IT WAS SOOOO FUN!!! BF YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE HOTEL I STAYED IN!!!
BF decides to actively ignore her now because this shit is ridiculous. She always does this. It’s like having a chauffeur for her conversation. It’s so fucking weird.
Anyways, my dad comes in from the grill and the food is served. Luckily we didn’t put in the extra table leaf so BF and I sit in the kitchen at the bar to eat and joke around. We’re also seated directly next to the food. JC gets up for seconds. What does she grab? FUCKING RIBS AND (despite us telling her there is porkless baked beans) THE BAKED BEANS WITH PORK!!! WHAT. THE. FUCK. This bitch made such a big deal of telling me how she can’t possibly eat pork!!! She and BIL don’t eat it (he does)!!! Here’s a Dr. note saying we don’t eat it!!! My parents and her son cooked up shit just to accommodate her!!! And she goes straight to the fucking pork!!! Fuck it!!!
Fast forward a few hours, the fun is winding down. Immediately after dinner, 4 of us retreated outside to escape JC’s desire for attention. Not even a joke. My dad finds her amusing but exhausting and BF and I find her exhausting. The other was a family friend that I teamed up with against my dad and BF in a round of horse shoes. We kicked their asses. It was fun for me at least. Within 10 mins of us playing my mom and BIL wander outside to “watch” but both fessed up later that they were employing the same tactic. JC wouldn’t come outside because of bugs. It was fun!
The family friends leave so now it’s just our two families. BF, BIL, and I are watching my bro play video games while my dad has escaped upstairs and my mom is in the kitchen with JC. I could hear them talking vaguely but I didn’t really understand anything until the game’s sound quieted and BF and I clearly heard my mom saying, “You can’t place that on him. Your job is to just support him and make sure he has the best possible chance”. We immediately knew they were talking about BF and his upcoming bar exam. It kinda brought an end to the fun of the night because it was clear that my mom was encouraging JC to be supportive which means she was complaining about BF. Fucking horrible…he’s already down on himself from his previous failure and didn’t need to be brought down further by her complaining to my mom. They left shortly after that with her once again telling my she loved my shirt (I GET IT) and asking me where I got my hair done (please god don’t get my hair cut).
After they left my mom apologized to me.
What?
She informed me that she made JC cry and, knowing her, was apologizing to me in advance if JC got upset and took it out on the boys or myself because she can’t handle her emotions. My mom knows who JC is because I tell her. So apparently this is what went down:
JC came to my mom showing her pics of her vacation in south America. She fluctuated between bragging about how zen she is now (literally showing her Gandhi quotes…), bragging about how she’s only seen her boys 20 days since the start of the year (because she kept running off to vacation), while simultaneously complaining how BF has disappointed her to no end because he failed the bar and is ruining everything she worked for and how even while she was away she had to do everything for them and she never gets a break from them how her vacation wasn’t a real vacation cause she still had to do everything blah blah blah. This is bullshit. BF did literally everything while she was away (paying bills, lawn maintenance, setting up his bro’s next school year, doing house maintenance etc) and I helped out with food and cleaning whenever I came over multiple times a week.
My mom shut her down. She basically told her that it’s not right for her to talk shit about BF because he is doing his best. She basically told her, in not the exact words, she is being a bad mother by not supporting him every second in his studies even though he failed she has to raise him up so he can succeed not bring him down and make him feel like shit. How she can’t complain about having to run the house because she is a fucking mother. That’s her fucking job. She shouldn’t complain about needing a vacation when she was gone for 2 months. She can vacation all the time when her kids are out of the house. For now her job is to support them and show them love so they can grow and succeed no matter what. Even on days when she barely has her shit together she has to support them. That’s what a mother does. Don’t say you’re zen and positive if you’re being so negative while just talking to me about your kids. Support them. Love them. That’s it.
Y’all…she made her cry. Like…actual silent tears. I’d like to think these were tears of shame at her actions but I feel like they were more tears because my mom didn’t think she was hot shit. JC hangs around rich private school parents who laugh about how little they see their kids. My mom is the rock of our family. We are her life. She’d do anything for us and support us through good and bad. She’s amazing and everything that JC isn’t. I don’t think she could take her shit being thrown back at her (albeit in a kind way because my mom doesn’t raise her voice. She just talks like a passionate therapist).
I told my mom that she basically said everything I want to say to JC. If it had come from me, JC would’ve torn the house apart and it would’ve been a repeat of December (aka the worst night ever). But because it came from my mom who is her age, she couldn’t pull the “I’m the adult” card. My mom and my happy family are living proof of my mom’s words. JC just tucked tail.
Later, after getting home, BF texted me. He said he didn’t know what my mom had said to JC but she was incredibly bummed out and just staring at herself in the mirror…
Fucking weird…
Anyways the next night she had a fucking meltdown.
The reason?
She had eaten pork.
Now her excuse was she didn’t eat pork because her grandma or somebody was Jewish. So…It went from being a medical thing to some long lost religious thing (she’s catholic). I just don’t even know. Apparently her guilt at eating pork was so great she just flew into a rage and cryfest.
The very next day BIL and BF heated up some left over ribs and baked beans I’d given them. She ate some more because “It’s just toooo good!!!!”.
I don’t get it. I don’t understand. The woman is insane.
Anyways, I’m done with this story. Stay tuned tomorrow for the follow up. It occurred 5 days after this get together.
It’s the time where JC ruined BIL’s birthday
Thanks for reading! I hope your llama’s are full!!!

I have been friends with a girl with autism (I'm not sure whenever it is severe or not, but I'm pretty sure she is high-functioning autistic). I have been friends with this girl for around 1 and a half years, but in the recent months she started to make my friends and I really uncomfortable.
We are in secondary school (Year 10), not sure where in American school system. I have C-PTSD, and I am sensitive to touch. I have explained this to her many times but she continued to try and touch me and push her limits. She also did this to my friends who also don't really like it. This included getting her face extremely close to us, jumping behind us to scare us, and asking us gross things. This went as far as her asking "Can I puke in your mouth?" and other gross questions.
Also, she kept complaining how we are never there for her and she doesn't like it that she always has to initiate a conversation first, but in the past, when we shared our issues, she never comforted us in any way, and didn't provide much support. Whenever my friends or I started a conversation in a groupchat (which was often), she never replied properly, but only ever said "lol", or sent us the okay thumbs up emoji or the rainbow emoji (it was always the messenger emoji you had on the right of your screen).
My friends and I have recently made a "cult" as a joke and we made a little support system with our own inside jokes and such. We sometimes go out together, and do random stuff. She called this stupid and basically insulted all of my friends. She also lied about my boyfriend (back when we were not together), and said that he said I should kill myself, of course this wasn't true and I hope it is justifible that I got a bit angry.
I know this does sound mean but she has a really not nice odour, she smells like musty rotting wood which is not pleasant to be around, and I know this might be because of her situation, but I think she rarely washes her hair. Which normally I wouldn't have an issue with, but due to her always getting close, sometimes was too much.
We have explained this to her many times and most of the time she used her autism as an explanation, but refused to attempt to change. Although she had started to ask for permission to touch us (which still comes off as creepy). I think I should be allowed to choose who I am friends with and who I am not, and shouldn't just accept what is going on simply because of someone's autism, especially when it just makes all of my friends uncomfortable.
I only really talk to her sometimes because of a mutual friend who doesn't want us to argue. I hope I am not too much of an asshole, I just want to hang around people who get my sense of humour and I feel comfortable around. I'm not doing this simply because she's autistic.
Tl;dr : She makes us extremely uncomfortable, insulted us, and has double standards. : /

I’m 16 and I need help it all started when I was going into eighth grade I was going to a different school because I got kicked out of my charter school for doing something stupid but that’s not the point I met this girl when I was there she was having the same problems as me well sort of She was having problems with her family In the day I got kicked out my grandma said I was going to end up dead if I keep on doing stupid shit we were friends and that’s the word I don’t usually use but one day she told me when I was joking around I told her “what happens if I jumped down the stairs and broke my neck and saw me dying” She replied “I’ll be very sad because I would’ve lost a friend and I would’ve hugged you as you passed” no one ever really told me i’m from right there and then I knew I wanted to be with her but I was taught that when you were in middle school relationships don’t really last so I want to wait for a job And maybe be a little mature we had art class together but it no longer was us hanging out at that We hanged out during lunch her friends are often joked around that we would be together but I’ll still iffy when we were choosing our classes for high school I want to learn how to play the guitar for her but she chose art and that’s were basically split off and it turned out that so many people wanted to play guitar that some of the people switch the band I want to switch art knowing That I can’t really play guitar but it was too late so what did I do I made the best out of my situation I chose the C flute as my instrument thinking it was easiest I really wasn’t we would perform at pep rally’s and certain tournaments every single time I played a song I was thinking about me playing for her I would see her rarely and we wouldn’t talk I couldn’t find her during lunch nor passing period That was my freshman year my sophomore year I signed up for art but later finding out She was going to the advanced art But sophomore year was a little different every single time fifth period We would pass by one another she would say hey and I would reply back but that was it one time she gave me something for Valentine’s Day it was strange because no one else gave me something so I felt bad for not giving her anything one of her friends told me that she was going through some things so what did I do I went to the store to get a gift bag and a card and a bunch other candies that I forgot but in the card I didn’t write her a love letter instead it was more like a concern I reiterated what she told me if I jump down the stairs and I gave her my number to say if you ever need to call somebody or talk I’m here She never called something in my mind told me that she thought it was a lovely letter and that she probably threw it away I really tried my last attempt was really something because I’ve joined a program called civil air patrol cap for short And it teaches you military options how to drill PT test basically ROTC and there’s a thing that you do over the summer called encampment which is basically the first week of Boot Camp I was 15 turning onto 16 My birthday is in May and summer break doesn’t start until June I’ll be turning 17 2019 but back to the story the night I was going to go to encampment something clicked in my mind To check social media for her I tried Instagram Snapchat nothing my last ditch effort was Facebook and lo and behold she was there but I didn’t know what to say to her we were in the car ride for six hours so I thought I had plenty of time to come up with something but it felt like one hour as soon as I know it We are right in front of the gates so I wrote to her as quick as I could telling her How she save my life and I missed you all day as of us having fun we had a lot in common so with that I sent her the message and turned off my phone it was an intense and frightening week but in the back of my mind it was her I imagine she was looking at me as I was doing push-ups running the mile we’re doing flutter kicks I did it for her that’s all I kept in my mind graduation day we got our phones back but we weren’t allowed to use them until we got into our cars as soon as I turned on my phone I heard a notification sound that I never heard before and it was her icon on my home screen seizure she just said that she was glad that she can help and that we should do something sometime but she was out of town so I spend summer break thinking of what we could do but she didn’t come back when school started she came back a month after and that one text not one reply ever showed telling me that she was back I forgot to mention she doesn’t have a phone I mean she does have a government phone but she mainly uses her iPad I bring this up because whenever I would Text her through Messenger it will take a while to reply back and I mean it a while like three hours and that’s at the very least the most that she has left me on was 18 hours but either way we would never talk I was only text I tried talking to her but she would hang out with her friends and I would hang out with mine I would always try to schedule a day where we would go to the mall or go to the park or run whatever but she would never Want to go I would always say which day is best and she wouldn’t know the answer I would always be the one to text her she would never text me some days she wouldn’t to come to school and I will Text her what’s wrong and again five hours would pass and she would apply nothing or it’s fine until one day I just had enough I told her like what she thought of me and what’s wrong she would always reply the same thing “a lot of stuff is just been happening” and then I replied back by saying “a lot of things have been happening with me too but I don’t let that affect me” I told her how scary it is for me growing up fast and that when I turn 17 I could go to the national guard do a split program in which as soon as I finish my junior year that summer break I spend at Boot Camp come back and finish my senior year and once I graduate do my AIT and she had the balls to say “I have meaning for my life And all she does is play video games” but she said that she had time the next day but there was a problem the next day I worked and I didn’t want to tell her that I can’t do tomorrow because she never told me that she had time so I made an effort to go After my work shift to go meet up so I said I had time at four and we can do whatever she wanted she told me what did I want to do and I told her let’s do the first thing that we so we can do after we got back from the break do you want to go to the mall but she said that she didn’t have a Lotta money I don’t have a lot of money either so I said screw it let’s go to a 7-Eleven get chips drinks whatever then walk to a park and we can talk about our feelings there she agreedThe next day I got fired for something stupid who knew right either way I went to go blow off some steam took a shower and skated to her house she lives pretty far but I managed to get there on time and I had a funny feeling that what happens if she wasn’t there but I quickly blew that off because I want to talk about how I just got fired from my job but I’m still keeping my head on my shoulders I knocked on her door and nothing I’m knocked on her door again still nothing I’m knocked on her door one last time waited there for a minute and laughed and skated on home I was so messed up I was both angry sad I didn’t know what I wanted to Say to her so I sent an emoji of thumbs up again she didn’t look at it and I didn’t care the next day I checked if she seen it and she has a text that thumbs-up around six and she viewed it at 10 and didn’t say anything angered again I told her what I did what had happened and told her I didn’t care anymore I was outside of my house crying surprisingly she replied back immediately this time her saying today with the? I told her does it matter She said that she went ice-skating with her family to relieve some of the stress she apologized but I didn’t say anything a week had gone by and I had a different perspective not by anybody else but me alone I decided that I was the one to blame I was trying to take her out and have fun when she was clearly dealing with some things I told her I was sorry as well you would think our friendship would’ve gotten stronger no I went back to the same thing her taking a while to reply us not talking I started a new job and then my mind I was thinking about her so I texted her I was going to have an eight hour shift and I told her before my eight hours started That she wanted to do something for Halloween once my eight hour shift was done I check back and she hasn’t seen it I do this thing where if she hasn’t replied back I would check my phone constantly and I was doing this skating home and something in my head said I’m done so I texted her one last text Saying that I was done pretending like everything is OK pretending that somethings going to change goodbye I was crossing the street listening to my music as my music dimed I wonder if she had replied she did and what did she say barely got off of work do you want to talk about it I left it at that I was sad I built this bridge out of gold and I blew it up it sucks knowing that I did everything in the name of her but I just don’t know anymore every day I spend thinking about her if she’s OK what she’s doing I can’t stop thinking about her it has made me turn to drugs and alcohol to forget but it doesn’t work instead it just brings me happiness and that’s what terrifies me I wanna know if anybody has the same situation or somebody’s in the same boat as me and who has left that boat or somebody still on it this is my story if you have any advice or anything helpful please tell me because I don’t know who to turn to you anymore I don’t believe in God I don’t believe in my family I feel like I’m all alone so this is my last ditch effort

I thought I would wait longer to post this and I'm going to try to be as objective as possible but wanted to share my thoughts since getting and using Android for the first time ever.
Background: WP user since 2013, 4 windows phones (HTC Surround, Nokia 720, Nokia 1520, HP Elite x3)
Bought x3 November 2016 as part of the bundle to replace my aging but functional 1520.
X3 is an awesome, awesome phone. Did everything I needed and the lapdock was really special. To this day I have not used the desk dock since I don't have the setup for it but the lapdock has been in use and 80% functional since day 1 and through all the updates.
My first month with the x3 was a struggle. Freezing issues galore, widely documented. This subsided after a replacement phone with only minor issues occurring after that. However, this past month, my x3 was freezing more frequently during simple phone functions. After hanging up after a call, while sending a text… Simple, simple things that are super frustrating.
I went home for my bday and dad offered me a Google Pixel XL since he upgraded to an S8+ and planned on using the pixel as a "backup" to play with Android and get some cool travel apps I desperately needed but ended up getting so frustrated with the x3 freezing, I popped my SIM card in and have been using the Pixel as my daily for about a week now.
So here are my thoughts:
Hardware
Overall build quality: I have to say it's just about even in my mind. While the pixel does feel more fragile, I can't say the x3 feels like a more premium device in terms of build materials.
Robustness: hands down x3. It's IP67 rating is 'nuff said. I've dropped it a few times on different surfaces, not afraid to get it wet if rainy, very solid phone for me when I'm out and about. Stopped using a case because the silicone was cracking at the corners but never felt scared of dropping it. As I mentioned above, the pixel feels very fragile in comparison. It's lack of any type of proofing makes me overly cautious when holding it and bringing it to job sites.
Screen: I'm a phablet guy as you could probably tell and the pixel feels quite small: 5.5" compared to the 1520's 6" and x3's 5.96". It's also a smaller form in general, a bit shorter and a bit narrower. Holding the Pixel with both hands to text is borderline uncomfortable for me and I don't have big hands. Swiping to text alleviates this but even as I'm typing this out, having the phone rest on my right pinky isn't as comfortable as it was on a bigger phone for some reason. I think it may have to do with the material.
The screen itself is better on the Pixel. Brighter may be the wrong word but colors look better and boy are there plenty of colors will all the aps. My wallpapers look better and videos look incredible. It just looks cleaner for lack of better words although the x3's screen does a very, very good job.
I've noticed the screens on both phones get warm after being on and in use for a while but the Pixel got just a tad warmer under equal or less stress. The x3 backside actually gets warmer though.
Sound/speakers: have to give it to the x3. I hate the lack of variety in sounds on the Pixel although I'm sure there infinity apps to add more. The speaker itself is not as good and downward facing. To me the overall volume is not as loud which means I've missed some texts/emails when the phone was in my pocket sometimes. I do like how there is an option to turn off notification noises when on a phone call. It really stared to piss me off having my loud ass text sound go through when I was on a call with the x3.
Battery: x3 no doubt about it although I definitely commend the pixel on its battery usage despite doing more than the x3 ever could. With similar routines, on the x3 I was leaving the house with 85-90% battery, and coming home with maybe 40-50% depending on how many calls I got and if I was out of the office. With the pixel, it's been closer to 20-30% by the time I get home ALTHOUGH the pixel has been doing a lot more in terms of apps and background tasks which I do like. Normal routine is 2 hours of bluetooth streaming audio, texting all day, frequent emails, various phone calls, occasional app browsing during breaks. Some days were busier than others but that was about the average I noticed. I keep my brightness at about a quarter most of the time.
Worst day with the pixel so far (and still somewhat impressive!): woke up at 6:00 am with 94%. Bluetooth stream audio for 40 minutes to work. Text, phone, browse, YouTube occasionally. Had to drive to a job site so 2.5 hours with bluetooth audio, came back to the office, texting, apps, etc. Commute home for an hour with bluetooth audio. Went to the laundromat and was on the phone, snapchat, onenote (typing most of this out), texting, work emails. I had 35% at 5:30pm and left the laundromat with closer to 20%. This was one of my more taxing days because of the added driving and additional browsing during laundry but the phone lasted me a full day and I was quite impressed since I have much more apps, and therefore more things to do on this phone. The x3 was showing better results, after 10-11 hour days of similar usage, I would regularly come home with closer to 30-40% but the amount I did in terms of browsing apps wasn't nearly as much as it is now. I also think because this is a new-to-me phone, I have been spending a lot of time customizing and playing around with it so I have much more screen time with the Pixel recently. I'm sure once it's become standard to my liking the battery will go farther.
Oddly enough, the Pixel has a lower idle drain than the x3. I fully charge my phone before bed so I go to sleep at 10-11pm with 100%. With the x3, I was waking up at 6am with about 93% on the high end and sometimes 85% after a normal 8 hours sleep. The pixel has been stellar, I wake up with about 94-96% average over the past week. 96% most mornings! Incredible. My 1520 is currently de-apped, airplane mode all the time, and only lost 1% while idle for 9 hours. The pixel has all these background tasks (probably) and only lost 4% in 7 hours.
Storage: unfortunately my dad only got the 32GB model but I am not a storage hog. The x3 had 64GB and I didn't even reach 27GB with over 700 songs and my apps/photos. On the Pixel, I cut down the amount of songs to 300, have probably triple the amount of apps I used to, and thanks to Google Photos, I have only used 16.5GB of storage which means I can continue to add more songs as I go I hope to stay within 30GB although that likely seems hard to get to for me.
Vibration: my 1520 had a very good, noticeable vibration when on my desk. The x3's was pretty subpar comparatively. The Pixel is about the same or even worse than the x3. Cannot hear it when it's right next to me on my desk and can never feel it if it's in my pocket.
Camera: this isn't even worth mentioning. We all know which is better.
Software:
Bluetooth: better on the Pixel although for some reason, I can't do hands-free texting through voice when driving. Now Cortana didn't exactly work either but she would interrupt music to notify me of a text, and prior to 3 months ago, she would read me the texts and allow me to reply before it stopped working. The Pixel doesn’t interrupt my music for texts or any other notification sounds, it just quiets the music for a second, makes the noise out of the phone, and resumes music. It does work for phone calls though which is most important I think. I miss driving mode where those other notification sounds were muted while driving. The Pixel also does not skip during audio playback and connects to my car and starts playing automatically UNLIKE the x3 which could take up to 5 minutes to start playing music from Groove. I know this isn't my car either because I now have the x3 paired to a speaker and it skips way more than my 1520 did.
General OS: I had limited experience with Android prior to this. Everyone in my family and most friends have Androids (Samsungs) but I never got to really play with them and use it. I never had an issue navigating around and only asked questions on how to do shortcut things or not directly obvious or intuitive things. Funny how I could use iOS or Android with ease but none of my friends could ever navigate through my WP! :P
Android (on this phone) is much snappier and way more enjoyable to use. Navigating from screen to screen, app to app, is much easier and much faster than on WM. No "resuming" screens, no delays. Just butter. I don't like the app drawer but won't be using it much. I have one home screen for music widgets, one for all the most used apps, some in groups, and one for my calendaemail widgets which is quite nice. The notification baaction center is definitely different but something I can certainly get used to. Love that I finally have night light mode for my poor eyes and do not disturb still works as I expected. Taking a screenshot is a bit weird to me but just need to get used to it.
Fingerprint gestures are a little gimmicky but very cool I think. Able to quickly bring down the action center with one hand instead of reaching my thumb all the way up there is nice.
Quick side note, I love the fact I have my google voice # connected so I can choose which # I want to dial out from! Makes the division between work life and personal life so much better!
Keyboard: Pixel all day. This Gboard or whatever is fantastic aside from the weird placement of the emoji button and exclamation mark. Will take a while to get used to but I'm texting faster, more accurately, and swiping is so much better. The auto-predict is much more accurate and I've never typing "aright" instead of "alright" it really is a better keyboard. I wish they had most used emojis instead of recently used but that's a minor gripe. Emoji searching is pretty cool though and auto-suggesting pairs of words really makes typing easier and quicker.
Customization: I've been reading a lot on here and decided I don't want to emulate WP on my Android through a launcher, I want to experience Android for an extended period of time before committing one way or the other. At this point, I quite like the look and layout of stock Android. I do miss live tiles and resizing but having those little pods of grouped apps and widgets are decent enough, especially for the media player. I am in love with the app textra as I spend most of my time texting anyway and being able to customize my app with my favorite red and black colors is awesome and reminiscent of my WP themes, but also being able to customize my different conversations with different colors and sounds really gives a personal touch. Really do love that app. I do miss the dark theme but I like having my wallpapers/homescreen rotate and the app icons look nicer. Setting up my important widgets is cool too. Now I liked pinning tiles on WP much more than I like pinning icons/widgets but it's not as cumbersome as I thought.
Cortana vs. OK google: have yet to really dive into this. Plenty of videos comparing all the AI's. I rarely use them so not of much importance to me. Maybe once I get and use a google home it will make more sense.
Apps, apps, apps: I know we all love to hate this topic but my eyes were opened wide after going through the play store and searching on forums. I no longer need mobile sites to do very basic things. I liked Edge but never use it on my laptops whereas I have 3 gmail accounts for 3 different chrome browsers. One is for play (reddit, Youtube, social media), one is for personal (banks, eLearnings, information), and one is for work with all my work websites bookmarked. I am accustomed to chrome and use it every day and have been since it first came out. I know edge is great but it never replaced chrome for me so having to not rely on mobile web browsers for apps/banks is amazing. Even the simplest apps for travel like airlines/trains makes a difference in terms of productivity. I was never a fan of snapchat but gf downloaded it for me and now seeing her face more frequently and having fun is a nice change of pace. Facebook and instagram, reddit, youtube, netflix, it all just works better and flawlessly so far. Much more responsive even for stock apps. I'm sure there are tons out there that do a better job but I'm content now. I especially like how Messenger is so much faster and has little bubbles when someone chats you so you can respond without leaving your current app. Haven't found a replacement for Readit/Reddplanet but using Boost right now and it does the job.
Banks and Android Pay is huge. It will probably take a while for me to remember to use Android pay instead of reaching for my card but it's quite nice to be able to join in with others. I love how the bank apps support the fingerprint sensor so great way to have dual-authentication. Pinning mobile sites was clumsy and some never remembered my password.
I won't dive into the app gap but it is astounding to realize what WP has been missing. I am not even a huge app/game person but having actual, practical apps that work flawlessly and fluidly is incredible.
When I posted on googlepixel I was looked at like some sort of Neanderthal with what I was asking.
I also finally have access to some apps I use for work, manufacturer apps that allow me to demo for customers and some company apps I had to use edge for before.
I mentioned it earlier but Textra is really amazing. Aside from the color combinations and custom notifications, I have it pinned to my slide down action center so I can send a text to anyone from any app on any screen.
Things I'll miss:
Seamless contact integration with work and personal accounts including mail and calendar. It was just better on Windows. My personal Microsoft and work Microsoft accounts together in harmony with separate gmails coming through outlook. Having Outlook be the end all be all of mail and calendar instead of doubling up on Google calendar for all 3 of my gmails, Yahoo, and work email addresses was really nice too. I'm sure I'm just a noob with Android but I like Windows Phone better with this. No iris scanner unfortunately but I never used it on the x3 since it was slower and buggier than the fingerprint sensor. Fingerprint sensor is much quicker on the Pixel BTW, the few milliseconds are really noticeable.
Notification bar actions while phone remained locked. This just doesn't work on Android I guess. Again, I haven't tried that hard to find a way to make it work and there's probably an app for it but responding to texts and GroupMe or deleting emails right away from the action center was easy and seamless without unlocking the phone.
That's all I got for now. The x3 has been demoted to strictly media device for now. It's very strange but it honestly has not frozen or given me any problems since taking out my SIM card. I think there was a serious design flaw with the SIM tray causing many people a lot of grief. I hope that is fixed in the next iteration but I can't keep waiting forever. Only ongoing issues have been some Bluetooth connectivity with my speaker.
I have always used my smartphone as a PHONE first. And when I can't do simple phone functions, it no longer becomes a smart device. I will still most likely travel with the x3 and use the lapdock when needed but as for being my daily, $800 wasted for a desk dock I don't use, and a phone that never quite "phoned" correctly or reliably. Lapdock was the best part of the bundle no doubt despite the hate it received. I love the thing. Small issues with Continuum here and there but battery life and productivity was amazing.
Now I'm on the Pixel subreddit and there are plenty of reported issues, it is far from a "perfect" phone but when directly compared to the x3 in terms of smoothness and speed of navigating around, Google had the money and experience to make a really good phone whereas HP's first attempt was certainly a good one, coupled with Microsoft's declining interest in their mobile platform ultimately led to me not wanting to use it anymore.
I will still keep my eyes on Microsoft in the future but glad to be literate in both ecosystems now.