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In 2008, at the Brazilian Grand Prix, we had one of the most dramatic final laps/title deciders in the history of Formula 1. Most of you know what the stakes were coming into the race: Felipe Massa was running 2nd in the WDC with 87 points, behind Lewis Hamilton who had 94 points to his name. So, to win the championship he'd have to drive a perfect race at Interlagos and hope to have a little bit of luck when it came to Hamilton and his final place in the standings. Fate and luck delivered... somewhat. And for a few seconds Felipe Massa was the World Champion. Except, he wasn't. As Lewis Hamilton overtook Timo Glock just before turn 11 on the last lap of the race, which secured enough points for him to become WDC. The rest is history... But what if things didn't turn out so well for Lewis Hamilton that day? What if both fate and luck prevailed for Massa that day? In this post, I'll try to give my take on the posible ramifications of Felipe Massa walking out of Interlagos as the World Champion. For practical purposes, this alternate timeline will span from the 2008 Brazilian GP, all the way to the end of the 2018 season. Also, this is my first time writing anything F1 related, so please excuse any mistakes or oversights I may have. And if you think a certain event or situation would've played out differently, do let me know in the comments, I'd love to see all points of view on this scenario. Without further to say, let's begin. (Lenghty read warning)
2008 (Brazilian GP): It's the final lap of the race and Timo Glock's gamble is paying off. Having stayed out with dry tyres when everyone else pitted for intermediates, he's now on his way to claim a strong 4th place finish for Toyota. Though, he's fighting like hell for grip and holding on to his track position however he can. Knowing that every drive could be his last, Glock's driving sharpens on the last few turns on the circuit and even though he was overtaken by Sebastian Vettel right at turn 14, he secured a 5th place finish. Behind him, finished Lewis Hamilton, who couldn't manage to overtake Glock and took only 3 points home. Despite being tied in points to Massa, the British driver lost the title on countback, with the Brazilian having 1 more win than him across the entire season. The crowd at the track and pretty much everyone in Brazil erupts in joy as their hometown boy wins the championship and his home race. Fans all over the world are now celebrating both Massa's win and Ferrari claiming both the driver and constructors championship in a storybook ending to a thrilling season. For Lewis Hamilton and McLaren, things were looking grim once more. After losing the WDC by 1 point and getting disqualified from the WCC the year before, heartbreak befell them once again and opened the gates for a flood of questions about the team and their young star driver. Can Hamilton seriously contend for the title and not screw things up at the last race? Will McLaren get their act together and design a consistent enough car to mount a serious title bid? The next season, along with the new design regulations would answer those questions. But for now, it was time to rest.

2009 Season: This season doesn't differ quite a lot from its real life counterpart, though it's where things start going in a very different direction. Brawn GP and Jenson Button still shock the world and end winning both championships, with the rest of the grid failing to catch up. Giving everyone the story of a lifetime. Nevertheless, a few things change through virtue of happening just as they did in real life. Bear in mind that Felipe Massa had an accident in Hungary that year. A spring popped out of Rubens Barrichello's car, which then clocked Massa in the head as he was running behind him on Qualifying. With the reigning champion out for pretty much the rest of the season, Ferrari turned to test driver Luca Badoer to fill in for Massa and when he grossly underperformed, they brought Giancarlo Fisichella in and made his childhood dream come true. After the season ended Felipe Massa reflected heavily upon his accident and his career up to that point. Having won a championship and multiple races, not to mention helping Ferrari to win both titles in 2007, he felt like he left a mark on the sport and was at ease with his accomplishments. Combined with the birth of his son, Massa informed Ferrari of his decision to retire from the sport, even though he was in perfect shape to keep racing. Now that there's an empty seat at the Scuderia, the folks at Maranello don't have the need to push Kimi Raikkonen out the door and keep him for the 2010 season along with the newly signed Fernando Alonso. Now that their driver lineup consisted of arguably the two most talented drivers of the early 2000's, Ferrari was ready to go to war with the rest of the grid. Meanwhile, in Woking, tensions are rising. The window to win a championship had seemingly closed after the MP4-24 couldn't live up to the performance of the McLarens from previous years even though it had a respectable pace in the back half of the season, where Lewis Hamilton won a couple races and scored 3 podiums. While their performance on track didn't win them lots of praise, things were even worse for Hamilton, as the 2009 season left him with a somewhat undesirable designation. "Good enough to win some races and get on the podium, but not enough to win a title, let alone contend for one." If the previous season brought along tons of pressure upon the team, this year just pushed them down, and it looked as if they were all on borrowed time.

2010 season: Like last year, this season plays out in the exact same way as it did in real life. But minor changes are inevitable either way. This year, Red Bull Racing finally get their act together and make a strong title run, but so do Ferrari and McLaren. And it was a back and forth battle between drivers and teams for supremacy, one that turned out to be more interesting, thanks to Kimi Raikkonen keeping pace with his team mate Fernando Alonso and bringing the fight to the rest of the grid. Nevertheless, even though Raikkonen drove the F10 to a couple of wins and several podiums, the rest of his results were quite average, but not good enough for him to stay on the title fight until the final race. The race in Abu Dhabi also played out like it did on real life, with Sebastian Vettel taking home the win and the WDC. Alonso still got stuck behind Petrov, but the fact that Ferrari finished 2nd in the WCC, thanks in part to Raikkonen who also dragged his car to better results, which were enough to edge out McLaren at the end of the season. Once again, McLaren couldn't catch a break. After having 2nd place in the constructors championship and seeing Lewis miss out on yet another potential title in the final season, there were now serious concerns over his true potential and the team's ability to build a championship winning car. More often than not, they were seen as team with a quick car capable of winning races and fight for podiums consistently, but with all their past shortcomings, nobody could take them seriously enough to fight for a championship. Who would vouch for them anyways? They'd always choke when it mattered to most.
2011 Season: Literally nothing about this season changes. Vettel and Red Bull still dominate and neither Ferrari nor McLaren can stop them. The Scuderia was a non factor most of the year and McLaren regained some confidence with Jenson Button finishing as the runner-up for the WDC and the team claiming 2nd place in the WCC with sizeable lead over Ferrari. Things were looking up for them after a few years, though not so much for Lewis Hamilton, who finished 5th in the standings and pretty much looked to be outclassed by his team mate all year. Everyone sees Hamilton as a bust now, they've lost confidence in him becoming a champion one day and his performances on track this year supported the argument.

2012 Season: 'Tis the season of change, and there are many in this year. For starters, Kimi has re-signed with Ferrari, so Lotus has to hold onto Vitaly Petrov so they can pair him alongside Romain Grosjean for the season, this results in the Lotus E20 being slightly weaker than his real life counterpart due to Kimi not being there to help with development. With Kimi and Alonso on board, the F2012 turns out be moderately better than in real life. With a better overall performance, Ferrari manages to fight for the 1st place in the WCC consistently and both of their drivers were at Sebastian Vettel's heels all season long. In this timeline, the first lap accident in spa doesn't take place, simply because Grosjean begins the race a few positions back and doesn't take out the front runners. This means that Alonso ends up getting some points from the race, avoiding to lose momentum and keeping the fight between him and Vettel closer. The rest of race results play out the same they did until the Brazilian GP, where Alonso comes in with an 11 point lead over Vettel. As it turned out, finishing the race in Belgium was instrumental in his title bid and ultimately made the difference, as Alonso went on to win the race comfortably, securing his third WDC and Ferrari's first WCC in three years. For Red Bull, losing both titles in one fell swoop as well as a three-peat motivated them to go beyond their limits and lit a fire under everyone's asses in Milton Keynes. They were a team on a destructive mission. McLaren had once again taken a step back, and their performance was extremely costly for Lewis Hamilton, who once again underperformed with probably the fastest car on the grid even though he had reliability issuers. Without a World Championship in this timeline and with a shaky reputation, Niki Lauda decides to look past Hamilton and instead invites Sergio Pérez to join Mercedes for 2013 after an impressive season in Sauber. He accepts and joins the Brackley outfit. This meant Lewis would remain in McLaren for another year to try and win that elusive world championship.

2013 Season: This was Red Bull's year, whether the rest of the teams liked it or not, and this highly motivated team would show the world what they were capable of, with Sebastian Vettel behind the wheel they absolutely crushed the competition and with the added determination from the previous year the RB9 turned out to be bulletproof, having no retirements all year. This otherworldly performance resulted in Sebastian Vettel winning 11 consecutive races and breaking Michael Schumacher's single season record with 15 wins. Ferrari were absolutely powerless even though they showed promise early in the season with wins from both Alonso and Raikkonen. McLaren went from frontrunners to an afterthought, as the MP4-28 severely underperformed and plummeted the team to their first winless season since 1996. This was the breaking point for the team and Lewis Hamilton as they ran out of patience and relegated him to a reserve drive role for 2014, giving the chance to up and coming driver Kevin Magnussen to prove himself.

2014 Season: To nobody's surprise, this season ended and began with Mercedes dominating the rest of the grid but with a different twist. With no Hamilton to oppose him here, Nico Rosberg goes on to win the WDC in an absolute path of destruction, winning 15 races and tying the record set by Sebastian Vettel the previous year. The rest of the races were won by Sergio Pérez and Daniel Ricciardo. Despite being a wrecking crew last year, Red Bull had to settle with 2nd place once again and tensions between their drivers were building up. Nevertheless, Sebastian can't leave the team since there's nowhere for him to go. Alonso is not leaving Ferrari and his best chance of winning still looks to be in Milton Keynes. Williams ended up finishing third in the WCC thanks to the efforts from Pastor Maldonado and Valtteri Bottas who displayed an amazing resurgence during the year. Ferrari finished 4th after the lackluster F14T failed to produce the expected results with Alonso taking only a couple of podiums. Nothing remarkable. Despite having a double podium in the season opener, McLaren couldn't capitalize on their power unit advantage and failed to score another podium the remainder of the season. The Magnussen project didn't pan out the way they wanted to and sacked him in favor of reserve driver Lewis Hamilton. They entrusted him with the responsibility to make the upcoming McLaren Honda project a success, since he was an experienced driver, capable of bringing the most out car. Though at this point, they had no choice.

2015 Season: This season is also the Mercedes show, though this time, Sergio Pérez turns it around and takes the fight to his team mate Nico Rosberg, their title fight ends up being one for the ages, but it's ultimately Checo who comes out on top. Ferrari go back to their winning ways and revitalize the confidence of a frustrated Alonso who ends up finishing 3rd in the WDC, with the future looking bright, he re-signs for 2 more years with the Scuderia. There's trouble at Red Bull as they fail to win a single race all year, and it doesn't help that Sebastian Vettel is resenting Daniel Ricciardo more and more as time goes on. Still, he's stuck there for at least another year. In McLaren, things are still embarrassingly terrible, the Honda power units are the slowest on the grid and Lewis Hamilton can't do anything to help the situation in any way. Everyone is now telling everyone else they were right about Hamilton, who is now completely bald from the stress of dealing with such a bad team.

2016 Season: lol mercedes wins Sergio Pérez puts up a hell of title defense against Nico Rosberg, who leaves everything on the track against him. The Mercedes drivers have another title fight that goes down to the wire and once again, it's Pérez who takes home the WDC. Rosberg on the other hand, like his real life counterpart, is completely drained after having sacrificed so much to win another title, but at the very least he has one, so he retires peacefully having full respect for Pérez and no hard feelings. Ferrari and Red Bull have their moments but they ultimately prove to be no match for the Silver Arrows. However, Red Bull and Sebastian Vettel part ways amicably although there were several motivations for both parties to move on from one another. For Seb, it's the fact that he's no longer comfortable racing alongside DannyRic and for Red Bull, well, they just want him gone so they can finally promote Max Verstappen to his seat. For 2017, this young, up and coming dutch driver will race for them alongside Ricciardo. The question on everyone's mind then became... "Where is Seb going?" And it was answered almost immediately. Shortly after leaving Red Bull, Mercedes confirmed him as their new driver, pairing him alongside 2 time champion Sergio Pérez. At this point, all bets were off. There's no reason to talk about McLaren at think stage, they weren't much better, and Lewis couldn't do anything noteworthy once again.

2017 Season: This is where it gets interesting. The collective agreement was that Seb would destroy everyone in the Mercedes, but Ferrari, along with Fernando Alonso had other plans, and when F1 came to Australia they were ready to show Mercedes what they had in store. All of a sudden. The two rivals would fight it out again. And they went blow for blow each round. Never giving up a single inch. And for the third straight year, the title would be decided in Abu Dhabi. Ultimately Seb took the championship as Alonso couldn't close the point gap. While Pérez was always there, he couldn't quite capture the magic from previous seasons and finished 3rd in the standings. Max Verstappen lit the world on fire and showed everyone he belonged in F1 winning a few races while going toe to the best on the grid. McLaren was once again the laughing stock of the grid, but their drivers weren't as vocal complaining about the car as they were in real life, so Honda sticks around with McLaren for 2018 hoping to finally get it right.

2018 Season: Alonso, now in the twilight of his career, announces he'll be retiring from F1 at the end of the season, but not without giving it his all throughout the year. Meanwhile, Seb and Mercedes are still the team to beat, with Red Bull closely behind, though not strong enough to stay in the title running for long. For the final time, the title decider goes to Abu Dhabi, but now Vettel is the one who fails to overcome the point gap to Alonso, who maximized the potential of the SF71H and built a sizeable lead coming into the race. The Spaniard retires at the absolute top of his game, having equalized his longtime rival after winning two titles and countless races with Ferrari. His seat is then taken by young gun Charles Leclerc while he transitions to IndyCar and wins the 500 with Penske. Vettel goes on to win the 2019 and 2020 championships with Mercedes, with Pérez and Leclerc constantly challenging him but ultimately failing to get the best of him. At the end of 2018 Hamilton gets relegated to reserve driver again after the Honda project fails to deliver results yet again, while McLaren agrees to part ways with Honda and join forces with Mercedes again. They also overhaul their driver lineup with Lando Norris and Carlos Sanz. Honda ends going to Red Bull just as they did in real life. DannyRic and Max Verstappen stay in Red Bull as teammates and manage to fight for wins in the coming years. And everywhere around the world people wonder: What if Lewis Hamilton overtook Timo Glock at the end of the 2008 Brazilian GP?

TLDR; The F1 landscape wouldn't be so dull and Lewis would have no championships. Sergio Pérez is a back to back champ. Alonso wins 2 titles with Ferrari then retires and joins Penske. Seb most likely gets 7 championships and surpasses Schumacher.

Looking For A Little Advice on Next Steps (Finance and Housing Related)

The Daily Check-In for Wednesday, September 23rd: Just for today, I am NOT drinking!

Check-in
We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!
Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!
I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.
Maybe you're new to stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.
It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!
This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!
What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.
What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.
What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.
This post goes up at:

US - Night/Early Morning
Europe - Morning
Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar
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Self-Gratification and Life Clutter
Living with addiction can be described as a world of excess and self-gratification. And self-gratification is mindlessly fulfilling your own base desire, which is pretty easy to do when surrounded by alcohol.
I chased a lot of external excitement, lust, and distraction. By externals, I’m generally talking about things like alcohol, drugs, gambling, buying stuff, eating junk food, excess phone use, video games, etc. And one thing these externals are great at is creating more pain and anxiety. These distractions are what I will call, life clutter. Some of it is ok in small doses, but all of these can get out of control in a hurry and suck up all of your time.
I used alcohol to combat my pain and stress, which only added to it. So, I found other things to chase. I ate junk food and destroyed my health. I cluttered my home with stuff and my credit cards with debt. I gambled on sports and elevated my stress. I played video games instead of spending time with my wife and son.
This is where creating habitual behavior to combat Resistance has come in handy for me. If I create habits that work for me, it replaces that distraction with a meaningful practice. I realize I'm beginning to sound like I may have a computer chip inside of me. I still have my time set aside to watch football or movies, but only after my practice.
Succumbing to life clutter is the easy way. Creating thoughtful habits is hard work, but it’s work that brings real joy and fulfillment to our lives. And I really try to use these habits to work different areas of my life.
One of my favorite Tony Robbins’ contributions is the Pyramid of Mastery, which covers the 7 major facets of everyone’s life. From the bottom to the top of the pyramid these are the layers:

Physical Body
Emotions / Meaning
Relationships
Time
Work / Mission
Finances
Contribution and Spirituality

This appears as an order, but we work through all facets simultaneously. Think of it as a stool with individual legs we are working to strengthen and balance. If your focus is limited to a couple legs of the stool, it will be wobbly and topple over. All the legs should be as strong as they can be.
Alcohol was a destructive force to each of these legs like termites working their way through the wood framing on a house. I enjoyed all of my clutter too much. And it wasn’t until I quit drinking that I could see the destruction done to each leg of the stool.
Building new habits is what created a practice to strengthen each of these legs.
Physical Body: Drinking was a major trigger point of a poor diet for me. I had high blood pressure, I was overweight, and I was never consistent with exercise. Once I quit drinking, I started eating healthier. I lost weight and was able to get my blood pressure under control. My fitness level improved with gradual change in my routine. It’s not all perfect, but my energy has improved drastically, which helps me in all other facets.
Emotions / Meaning: Negative emotions were a force permeating through my life when I drank. Fear, anxiety, and anger were emotions made worse through alcohol. My anger was ubiquitous and expected. My fear and anxiety were only hidden with alcohol and subsequently increased when hungover. I still experience all of these emotions, but in a way that I can face and manage now. I face my fear with courage. Anger is a work-in-progress, but I’ve come a long way. I give thanks for what I have. This has given me more joy in life than I ever experienced with alcohol. It has helped me to find meaning over chasing some high.
Relationships: Alcohol was an excuse to choose drinking buddies over my wife and son. I spent a lot of time at the bar and really not with people I care about all that much. Before I quit drinking, I always imbibed before seeing anyone outside of the house. Now we are spending quality time together and with our families. Not time filled with booze or thinking about where my next drink will be.
Work / Mission: My work has been one of the primary drivers of why I drank so heavily. It supported my anger. And it led me to drink daily to get my mind off the job. I even tried sports gambling to replace my income. Hint: it wasn’t the answer (as if you were guessing the other way). This pandemic has taught me some valuable things. One of them is being more conscious with how I spend my time. Especially on what is fulfilling to me. I still have to make money, but I can do a lot better than chase money 50 hours a week in a job that negatively impacts my mood.
Finances: I was consumed with buying needless crap during my drinking life. We filled our house with junk that would get donated or thrown away. Because I did well in my job, I thought I could afford to spend money carelessly. And maybe I could, but at what cost? All of the movies that were purchased, the Apple Watch that serves little purpose other than recording workouts, the iPad that doesn’t get used. None of these things bring me joy. As nerdy as this sounds, I have more fun seeing how many days I can go without spending a dime. Books will always hold a special place in my heart. But beyond the essentials, I don’t need many other physical items to enjoy life.
Spirituality: Whether you are religious or not, all of us are spiritual creatures. For some this is a relationship with God or other higher power. For some this is a connection with nature. For others it’s a mediation practice or your philosophical principles. Spirituality is how you find meaning and purpose in your inner life and connection to others. All of us can define what this means to us individually. For me, a relationship with God is like the foundation of my house. When booze was at the center of my life, I never spent time in prayer. Today, it’s an important daily practice and one that I can’t skip. Whatever your spiritual practice may be, the externals of the physical world will never bring us the happiness or joy we desire. And none of what we accumulate in the physical world can be taken with us when we die.
Time: I left time for last because it permeates throughout every facet of our lives. We have to choose how to spend our time in the right way and on the right things. If we don’t choose, we settle for what is easiest. It is far easier to sit around debasing ourselves in lustful thought because we are bored and uncommitted to doing something better for us. I have to consciously decide to spend my time in a more purposeful way.
I get it, all of this sounds unsexy compared to playing video games or buying stuff on Amazon. But this is more about a commitment to the process. These externals are nothing more than dopamine hits and even that happens more in the anticipation of than the actual activity.
The practice and process is about delaying gratification. In the long-run, I know my writing practice will bring far more happiness than buying one of these new video game systems and devoting unnecessary time to playing every day. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t or I shouldn’t buy the system. It’s more about being conscious of how that time spent affects what you could be doing. If it affects my ability to put in my daily writing practice and daily weight training practice and the time it takes to prepare healthy food, then I am sacrificing something far more important for a virtual figure on a screen.
Delayed gratification is a muscle that must be exercised. Otherwise we will find ourselves on the couch eating a bag of Doritos every day. No one else? Ok, don’t mind me.
As long as I am focused on my daily practice, I keep self-gratification at bay. I don’t use my money on junk. And I don't procrastinate away large chunks of my time.
Today, think about the areas of your Pyramid of Mastery and in what way you can strengthen each leg.
Not drinking with you today in San Antonio.

Unleashed pt. 45

Some words from u/eruwenn and I. Enjoy?
First / Prev / Next

Chae’Sol stood at the centre of a large command deck, meticulously peeling the protective film from his new captain’s chair. The sensation of the slow but steady yielding of the film, the sweeping line following the contours of the seat in flowing curves; it was incredibly satisfying. Finally, with one last gentle pull, the last of his chair was uncovered and he stood back to admire his throne. Aside from the freshness of the seating itself, there were shiny new holo displays, touch sensors, and comms relays that were within easy reach of his seated fingertips. This ship would be the jewel in any fleet, a prototype Dreadnought made by the infamous Bardul of Shi’an. The Gowe Military faction had run into financial problems, and it had been left unpaid and unclaimed. What sorcery Kadir had used to find it, and purchase it, he did not know.
His comms unit beeped and Danyd’s voice came through. “Chae’S-” -He grumbled incoherently- “Captain, we’re ready to get underway.”
The Niham turned and sat back on his pristine chair, swinging his long legs over the armrest. “That was quick, Chief Engineer Ef’Yto”
Danyd grunted at the use of his title. “Aye, these Awakened are efficient bastards.” The Satryn looked around at the enormous engineering bay. The entirety of the Porkchop Express could comfortably sit inside, and two of them could likely squeeze in. “Plus, this thing has never been used; feels weird not having anything to work on. It’s state of the art, and I’m having to read the manuals on half the new systems.”
Chae’Sol laughed, looking around at the Awakened as they were preparing their workstations. “Yeah, this command deck is a little intimidating. Even the Niham Armada didn’t have ships like this. There are fifteen weapons stations here, what in Tulseria’s name were the Gowe planning to do with this thing?”
“No idea.” The chief engineer walked to the large seat in front of his new work terminal, and hopped up onto it. The protective covering squeaked. “This thing has more firepower than half their fleet, it must have been something big. We’re lucky Kadir found out about the graveyard of unclaimed ships from one of his contacts.”
The newly-minted captain swung his legs down and sat up, straightening his black uniform and white collar. “That’s another thing: how does he have so many contacts? I was in the Tulseria-damned military, and I had no idea they would sell us fighters and weapons.”
“I know the feeling.” Danyd watched a junior engineer – Lily, an Awakened who wore a headband in her silver hair that sported long Kittran ears on it – begin running diagnostics on the Hoban Field Generator. “I'm aware he got the automated weapons for the system port from my people, somehow. As for how he accomplishes all he does, I think his time working with that fancy Anatidae councillor opened more than a couple of doors for him.”
Chae’Sol stood, running his fingers through his perfect hair. “Doors, windows, rear entrances and damned secret portals, all leading to a dark realm of shady deals and supplies. We have an Imperium Capital Ship for Tulseria’s sake! Nobody knows where he got it, or where he’s now hidden it.” He looked at his holo display, noting the specks springing blinking into existence as the other ships of Federation origin came to life. “Let’s just be glad he’s on our side.”
The chief engineer tugged at the green collar to his uniform. “Our side used to be a damn sight smaller.” Lily had finished her diagnostic tests and sent the results to his console. Her report included an adjustment that would create a potential three percent increase in crystal efficiency, and a small drawing of a smiling leokit with a crim-bar. He groaned, then reported back with, “We’re ready to go when you are.”
The Niham strode confidently across the command deck, stopping to stand in front of the huge vid screen at the front of the room. All around him were his crew, made up mostly from the Ashi, Awakened, and Kasurians. “Let’s get this show started.”

Jaym sat with a bowl of Tony the leokas cereal in front of her. It wasn't just a catchy advertising slogan - it really was great. She and Elizabeth had worked together so much in the engineering section of the Porkchop Express that they had become close, often spending their free time together. Indeed, Elizabeth currently sat opposite her, carefully rebuilding a power coupling and occasionally tapping at her datapad. Shortly after the results of her most recent tap played out, Elizabeth paused her work on the power coupling. Without speaking, she held up her datapad so that Jaym could see.
On the screen was Tony and his mate Jolie, and Skeena’s voice could be heard excitedly talking about collecting urine samples from the female. Jaym screwed up her face at first until Skeena announced the pregnancy test was positive. Tony was going to be a father! She couldn't contain her joy and screamed loudly, grabbing the screen and running all the way to the bridge to show the others.
Ranjaz was stretched out across the captain’s chair as Jaym burst in, and didn’t open his eyes until she began shaking his leg. Even then he didn’t pay much attention. “I told you not to let Elizabeth play with any more systems till after the mission.”
She blushed slightly, as their last improvement had inverted their water treatment system and blown six power couplings. "It's not that!" she said, holding up the datapad and starting the video. "Look!"
At the first syllable of Skeena's voice, Ranjaz sat bolt upright. The video held his full attention, and when Tony's impending fatherhood was announced the Kittran's whoops of delight could be heard all through the Porkchop Express. He reached underneath his seat and retrieved a small, fluffy bed, then picked up Aiov. Ranjaz led his unusual dance partner in a quick spin of joy before replaying the GalacTube video for her. “You’re going to be an Aunty!”
Eruwenn leaned back in the large seat that had once been Embar’s. “I didn’t think they were related?”
The Kittran nodded. “Aiov is Tony’s sister. Aaron adopted them both, and that’s how human families work. They just keep adding members, like a Dular adding shells to its burrow. Family is family.”
Cygna pressed a few buttons on her Navigator terminal, moving the video to the main screen as well as starting it over. “I still can’t believe you keep one of these under your seat. I mean, it’s a leokas!”
Ranjaz held Aiov up and they briefly rubbed noses. “Just a little one!”
The Anatidae laughed. “I can see living with the human has had quite a profound effect on you.”
With one of his trademark grins he held Aiov out towards Eruwenn. “Wanna nose rub?”
"Ah," the councillor said, shrinking back from the offer, "despite her size she is still a predator, and I am not quite ready for such a close encounter.”
From the pilot seat Ripley stood, taking Aiov from Ranjaz. “She is not a toy.” She briefly snuggled the tiny leokit to her chest, then passed her to Jaym. “Take her for food and exercise; she must grow up strong.”
Jaym also cuddled the wriggling Aiov close, and not just because the little leokit was adorable. Aiov had tripled in size, and was becoming a bit of a handful. “Thor was preparing her food; I’ll take her down to him.”
Once the junior engineer had left, and Ripley returned to the pilot seat, Ranjaz began tapping on the console in front of him. “Looks like we’ll be free to take the shuttle down to the surface with the next group.”
Cygna drummed her fingers on the arms of her chair. “I didn’t realise it would be so busy.”
Ranjaz shrugged. “There was a quake on the fourth planet, so mining colonies are shut down while the nerds poke around. Along with that, we got three big freighters waiting for resupply. That’s a lot of bored folks looking to kill time.” Ripley grunted, prompting a chuckle from the Kittran. “You don’t approve of their choice of leisure activity?”
After their few cycles together Eruwenn was already learning a lot about her shipmates. Ripley, for instance, wasn’t one for talking. She decided to interject before the Captain irritated her too much, as they would need her focus soon enough. “Gambling and pleasure palaces are not to everyone's taste, of course, but these sorts of things are covered under local governance.”
Without skipping a beat Ranjaz replied, “I know that’s the official line, but you sure as shit have tax codes for all of it. If you want to look down on folks, don’t pretend you aren’t profiting from it.”
Cygna, ever defensive of her mentor, jumped in. “That’s a bold statement for someone who never paid a credit in tax until it was automatically deducted from his Galactic Federation pay.”
Ranjaz laughed, then continued, keeping his voice care-free. “Taxed on what? I never owned anything.”
Eruwenn could see the trap her junior was walking into but decided to let this be a learning experience. The Kittran was wily, and the Anatidae found him entertaining. Cygna, as she had predicted, scoffed at his claims. “I’ve read your file. When you were arrested you had a ship, five shuttles and thousands in valuable goods confiscated.”
“Exactly!” His eyes lit up as he cornered her. “It was confiscated because it was stolen, so I didn’t own it. Imagine a world where you can keep stolen goods if you pay tax on them. Even I think that’s crazy.”
The Fae’Dan paused, and the anger evaporated from her voice as she realized what he had said, replaced by a slightly impressed tone of surprise. “Well, maybe, but… Really? You stole all of it?”
Ranjaz shrugged. “Or won it. I’m pretty good at Dalcho.”
Cygna perked up. “I play Dalcho myself, we shou-”
“No,” Eruwenn interrupted. Some lessons were too expensive. “Do not play Dalcho with someone who can get free priority entry permits to a casino.”
The former operative shook her head. “I’m a great player, you’ve seen me in the council chambers. I took that Ley’Rulian trader for five hundred credits.”
The Anatidae smiled kindly. “And he had five shuttles when he was arrested.”
Cygna slowly turned from Eruwenn to Ranjaz, noticing his grin and the sparkle in his eye. It was most definitely the smile of a predator. He gave a little chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s been a long time since I played. No gambling on Galactic Federation ships, you know.” He laughed again. “Oh wait, you read my file.”
The Fae’Dan nodded. “Perhaps we should focus on the mission.” She gave a slight bow to Eruwenn before returning her attention to her console.
Ranjaz looked at Eruwenn and stuck out his tongue. “Don’t ruin my fun!”
The Ambassador smiled. “I don’t play Dalcho, but there is a human game called chess I quite enjoy. Perhaps we could play sometime?”
The Kittran gave a nod. Keeping his voice neutral, he replied. “I don’t know that one, but there’s another human game we could try. Poker?”
"We have permission to dock at the holding ring and send down a shuttle," Ripley abruptly called out. "Let’s get this whatever it is and make the rendez-vous.”
Both of Ranjaz’s fangs showed as he grinned. “If we’re going to pull a job on Chisola Prime, first you’re going to need to look the part!”

Aaron walked down the corridor of the Hive ship, the strange spiderlike creature trailing behind him as he followed one of the corpse vines as it receded deeper into the ship. He turned and watched the creature, which shrank back from him and crouched low to the ground. “I’m sorry I kicked you. You simply startled me; you don’t have to hide.”
The lighting never changed in the endless corridors of the ship, and only the most uninteresting of doors deigned open for him. At this point, he had lost track of time completely. Through perseverance he’d made several important discoveries. The bulbous shapes in the flower vase room were seats; he was fairly certain of that after finding another room with bodies sitting in them. The vines that came for them were the ones he was now following, and by now he must have seen hundreds of dead Hive.
The second discovery was that the Hive came in a variety of shapes and sizes. There were two main ones, as far as he could tell, and the first were the four legged kind that had so kindly thrown him in the rejuvenating jelly bean. The second was bipedal, and looked a hell of a lot meaner. While the ones he deemed workers looked somewhat like ants to him, in shades of reds and browns, the second type looked much more commanding. Their carapace had thicker layers of armour in green, gold and red, and was spiked at the shoulders and joints. Even their legs had spines and to top the look off their heads were much more angular. Whether they were soldiers, commanders, or something else, he didn’t know. Through observation of the corpses he had discovered the most confusing feature yet: a strange section in the centre of their abdomen that was filled with what seemed to be a grey fluid.
Ahead of him, not skittering away like the rest, was an aphid that no longer emitted a pale green glow. Something whooshed overhead towards the slow and sluggish aphid, and Aaron instinctively threw himself to the ground before he realized what it was. "That's how you get kicked!” He stood up, brushing himself off. “Fuck, that scares the ever-loving shit out of me every fucking time.”
The huge creature looked up at him and whined as it munched on the sick aphid. He was probably imagining the apology in its eyes, but Aaron still shook his head. “I know, I know. It’s your job. They clean the floors, you keep their population healthy. Just stop leaping over me like that, fuck. I’m going to have a heart attack.” It whined and backed away from his angry words, and he tried to keep his voice to calmer tones. “Don’t be like that. I’ve told you enough times.”
When he looked down the corridor again, the retreating corpse vines had disappeared around a corner. Aaron began to jog after them, and after he'd put some distance in he heard the pattering footsteps of his terrifying shadow. He tried to pay it no mind. Once the vines were back in sight he slowed and followed behind them, singing his direction song quietly to himself. “Left, right, straight. Left, left, right. Straight, straight, left, left. Right, right, straight, right, right.”
The ship was massive and, other than some areas smelling funkier than others, there was no variation in lighting, decoration or layout. The song was his map back to the rejuvenation pod, which was his only safe source of hydration. His companion padded along behind him, a friendly nightmare to accompany him on his seemingly endless journey. “We really need to give you a name.” He wished he had his phone with him so he could channel all his nervous energy into making a video. “The audience demands a name. Plus, I won’t be able to sell merch without one.” He turned and looked at the creature. “I’ll probably have to create space-halloween first, or maybe I’ll get lucky and find that you’re cute to some species.”
Aaron returned to following the corpse vine, waving a hand high as he spoke, gesticulating to the heavens. “The name is what matters: a good name makes all the difference.” He began seriously pondering the naming matter. “Aragog, Shelob; you know, lean into your size for a characterization. But then again, that's not really going to make people like you.” He looked back over his shoulder as the unnamed beast trotted happily behind him. He assumed happy, at least. It now tended to make an odd gurgling noise after eating, and it roamed closer to him than before. “You know, I never got to name Sassie – she’s my dog. I told you about her yesterday, or the day before.” He really was losing track of the days he’d been here. “I got her from a rescue. She was skinny, and so damn angry, with scars on her legs and under her fur. I had to have special visits before I could keep her. Prove I was worthy.”
Talking helped take his mind from the gnawing emptiness in his stomach. Hydration and nutrients osmotically obtained from some weird pod were nowhere near as satisfying as a burger and a cold beer. “Her first visit, she had a rubber ball. It was her only possession, and she loved it.” There was a touch of pride in his voice. “Took me an hour before she gave it up to play. The lady from the rescue centre said I was the first.” He choked up, blinking back tears. “Anyway, couple more visits and she got to stay. Crazy dog was such a handful. She once tried to climb a tree to chase a squirrel. Got her legs over the first branch and just dangled, kicking her back legs.” He began chuckling to himself. “She once tried to jump through a car window; some guy was parked at the lights as we walked past.”
He was just chatting now, lost in his memories as he walked. “You know the type, loud radio, windows rolled down on a sunny day, annoying the shit out of everyone in the town. He tossed some litter out of his window and she just launched herself at him. Scared the life out of me at the time - funny as fuck now, of course.” He laughed again. “Then there were the swans. Man, were they not ready. She loved to swim – I told you that before – swimming and splashing was her favourite release. Well, that and chasing rabbits which is, kinda, how I ended up here. Anyway, she would just swim up and down, right past the ducks and stuff, somehow never interested in them. Then one summer these swans came along...” He paused, realising his new friend didn’t know what a duck or a swan was, or even summer, probably. Before attempting to explain, he realised they also didn’t understand english, so it really didn’t matter. “Anyway, swans being belligerent bastards, I called her out of the water straight away. Those mean white fuckers chased her all the way to shore.”
He turned around, now grinning broadly. “But, once her feet hit the ground in the shallow water and she was able to stand, did those sons of bitches turn and swim away as fast as they could.” He paused, trying to remember his original point. He really was very hungry. “Oh yeah, so trying to stop her fighting everything that moved meant I didn’t have time to teach her a new name. Figured it would be confusing to her. Sassie she was, and so Sassie she stayed.”
There was a tightening in his chest as he thought of her missing him. “Took a lot of years and a lot of time for her to get where she is now. I know Alexa will take care of her, but still, it’s my job, and I need to get back to doing it. She won’t understand…” He choked up completely, taking a moment to compose himself before clearing his throat and returning his monologue to its original course. “Anyway, names. Names matter.”
“Maybe you’re a girl monster. Charlotte?” He shook his head. That name just didn’t seem fitting. “We could call you Peter Parker? Although, you’re more of a man-sized spider than a spiderman... Parker Peter? Then again, big, scary spiders say one thing to me. Australia. You like to jump, we could call you Roo? Or, how about Ozzy? Or Bruce? Hmm, that’s a sharks name though… can you swim?”
His train of thought derailed suddenly as he saw an open door ahead of them through which the vines were receding. The pair of them continued walking behind the vine until it disappeared into the doorway and Aaron ran forward, pulling something from his pocket. He’d been saving the foil wrapping from the ration bricks, folding them together to form a wedge. He jammed his makeshift door stop under the bottom corner of the door as it began to slide shut. It ground to a halt. “Boom! Told you it would work.”
He stood and finally looked into the vastness beyond. Through the doors was, somehow, a rolling meadow, complete with trees, giant mushrooms and plants he had no name for. Vines were also everywhere, receding further across the great wilderness. “What the hell? I thought I was on a spaceship? Am I underground?”
Staring intently at the sky, he stepped onto the deep moss beyond the door. He looked at the wall around the interior and saw it was rock, and more plant life clung to every crack and crevice. As he walked slowly forward his eyes followed the vine as it headed for a large, colourful, monolith. He approached and saw that its shape was similar to the vase flowers. He watched as the corpse vines deposited their cargo on top of the monolith. Not on, he corrected himself;they were dropping inside.
He looked back to the door, nervous that it might close and lock him in. A large black shadow lurked just beyond the door, and he was torn. Should he explore this 'outside' world, or retreat to the place where he at least had the rejuvenation pods? He looked up at the sky, basking in the warm and invigorating embrace of the sunlight. He blinked at the brightness, being cautious to not look at the sun directly, and something else suddenly caught his eye. It was, incredibly, a door. A door that floated in the sky.
The thing about human eyes is that they might be easily fooled, but a shift in perspective can easily change what you see to something entirely different. Aaron was looking up at a ceiling, like the one in the Atrium back on the Azrimad, but a hundred times more convincing.
Once back inside the doorway he watched the spiderling he was beginning to think of it as a friend dancing back and forth a short distance away. It seemed… happy. “Ok buddy, I’m back.” Aaron’s stomach made a loud gurgling sound and he rubbed it, trying to squeeze the hunger away. Fingers found muscle easier than usual, and he knew he was definitely losing weight. “We should head back. I need sleep.” He thought for a moment and made a final decision, bending down to pull the foil wedge clear. “I doubt there’s a communicator or command deck in there. Let’s go home, Ozzy.”
The trip back was uneventful, Aaron sang his direction song as they navigated the labyrinth. A few more aphids were snacked on by his leggy companion, but his own legs were heavy by the time he was almost back to the jelly beans. Despite being exhausted he had made two stops to create another pair of flower vases for the aphids, as well as scattering a ration brick as he passed by. The aphids waited, as they always did, till he and Ozzy were far enough away before enjoying his bounty. Still, the human derived satisfaction from their presence.
Exhausted and weary, Aaron was glad to finally make it back to the room he was reluctantly calling his temporary home. As the door to the rejuvenation pod slid open he was met, forcefully, by the barrel of an energy rifle. Unfortunately for Aaron, due to a considerable height difference, the barrel had struck him squarely in the groin, and he instantly fell to his knees. He came face to face with his attacker with tears in his eyes, clutching his tenderness and coughing. From the other being came incomprehensible yelling, as well as a lot of gun waving. Also, there was coughing.
Aaron, eventually mustering enough self-presence to do something other than deal with the after effects of the gun-to-groin encounter, wiped the moisture from his eyes and tried to butt in to the one-sided conversation. "Relax! I'm the one who just got snookered in the fucking balls, here! Why in the world are you so mad?"”
The gun was pressed to his forehead by the tiny attacker, who shouted something unintelligible with their black eyes focused on him. They paused to cough, then stepped back, glaring at Aaron until they seemed to feel comfortable enough with the situation to take one hand off of their weapon and pull out a datapad. They held it up, and Aaron frowned at the familiar but still unintelligible colours that swirled on the screen. Then a small vent at the bottom of the device squirted out a puff of sickly sweet scent.
Aaron pulled back from the odour. "What the fuck was that?"
With some distance between them, the human finally got a good look at his opponent. They were barely waist-height, furry, with a long nose and dark banding across their brown fur. The banding was heaviest across their eyes and although that’s where the similarities ended, it was enough for the human’s brain to forge a connection. “Listen, Rocket, there’s a virus on this ship. You need to get in the jelly bean. Trust me.”
The rifle was thrust at him shakily in one hand, the tablet again was raised and a swirl of colours and shapes greeted him. “I don’t speak fucking winamp plugin!” On the wall behind his captor Aaron spotted a dull orange aphid, struggling to climb the wall. He smiled as he slowly leaned to one side. “Have you met Ozzy?”
The huge arachnid leapt over them both, causing the newcomer to blindfire at the wall. Aaron seized his chance and snatched away the weapon. He grabbed the newcomer by the front of their armoured uniform and slammed them to the ground. They cried out in pain and began their incomprehensible yelling once more. The accompanying coughing fit was bad, and Aaron dragged them to their feet. Realising that his solitude had caused him to revert to English, he switched back to galactic standard to offer a warning about the disease. “You’re going to die!”
A shocked look crossed their face as the human effortlessly lifted them and slam dunked them into a blue jelly bean. Ozzy gurgled happily through his aphid crunching. Aaron snatched up the energy rifle, but found it was difficult to hold due to its small size. He leaned over the jelly bean, noting the occupant drifting off to sleep.
Hunger and tiredness were forgotten as adrenaline flooded his system. There was no way the newcomer was alone. He left the pod room to begin searching, and Ozzy seemed to pick up on his intention and followed behind, keeping close to the human. “Good boy!” He had no idea what prompted it, likely some automated response, and it was as though he watched his movements from outside of his body as he reached back and gently scratched the arachnid's head. He was rewarded with happy gurgles, or at least that's what he hoped the noises were. “You did good back there.”
He made his way along the corridor towards the same airlock he had once chosen as his final exit. His recent suspicion proved correct as he heard a strange sound up ahead, as if someone was running a wet finger around the rim of a glass. He carefully leaned around the curve and saw another figure, dressed in the same uniform as the first. No fur on this one, although they were equally small in size, and they somehow looked like they were made of glass which couldn’t decide on a colour.
This time he remembered to use galactic standard. “Keep your hands where we can see you. We’ve got you surrounded!” The figure was clearly startled, as the ambient resonating noise began varying wildly in pitch at the same moment as their colour shifted to a solid blue. Aaron cursed. He didn’t have a translator, having instead opted for learning standard and winging everything else. The whole federation knew standard, so he hadn’t truly considered getting the implant. “Something is wrong with our translators,” he continued to bluff. “Do you speak galactic standard?”
A datapad was hastily pulled from a pocket, and as buttons were pressed the resonating sound became more rhythmic. From the datapad sprung noises. No, it was a voice! “Why do you speak Procyon? Where is Commander Bertolannixostraphes?
Aaron began relaxing at the situation he found himself in, but inside he was brimming with joy. Finally, he could talk with someone! “There is a virus on this ship, and many are dead. If your commander is the raccoon-looking guy, I got them into a healing pod. They’re going to be fine.” Under his breath he added, “probably.”
The resonating began and shortly afterwards the voice translated, “Who are you? Why did you not answer our communications.”
Opting for honesty in the hopes of leniency, Aaron stepped into view. “I’m a passenger. I don’t have access to the ship's systems.” The newcomer was looking at the tiny gun, so the human tossed it forward. “I didn’t know if you were friendly. I can take you to your friend, and you should probably get treatment as well.”
The now-orange alien walked forward, their movement accompanied by the strange sound of ceramic plates rubbing together. “That won’t be a problem, we Tricinic do not catch meat diseases. I am Tsy'lo, take me to the commander.” They turned to look behind them. “Where are the others?”
Aaron pointed to Ozzy. “It’s just us two.”
Colours swirled and the small glass person thrummed. The datapad spoke, “You are the last human, the Ambassador. Correct?”
Turning and gesturing to be followed, he began to lead the way to the rejuvenation room. “I am the first human, Ambassador Aaron Cooper, professional bounty hunter. Just call me Aaron. Are you the rescue party? Is Alexa here? Did she bring Sassie?”
It took a moment for the translation to come back. “I don’t know those names. We are the Special Tactics and Rescue Squad and we responded to distress calls and found this ship. Adrift.” They had walked a little way when Tsy'lo stopped and regarded Ozzy, who was still faithfully following behind. “Why does the achalo follow you?”
“Ozzy?” Aaron shrugged. “I think he was lonely. So, were you sent into Hive space to find me, or are you on some top secret mission? You aren’t with the Sentinels, are you?”
“Lonely? But it is an achalo.” Tsy'lo was confused and their colour visibly swirled. “Why would a rescue mission be secret? And, we weren’t sent, we were already here.”
Now it was the human who was confused. “Like spies behind enemy lines? Is that why you are in Hive space?”
The Tricinic hummed at a higher frequency. “It is our space. We are the Hive!”

Admiral Pelar of the third fleet stood in the centre of the training mat. On the floor around her were four tough looking Ashi, while a fifth was now squaring off against her. She blocked the jab and the surprise knee strike that followed, turning effortlessly to bring her elbow to her opponents ribs. With another deft turn she was behind him and kicking his knees forward. He tried to roll clear but she had anticipated the move and, as he rose, her spinning boot struck the side of his head.
“Nice try gentlemen.” She walked away and caught a towel thrown by the drill instructor. “That last one has potential,” she said, and the drill instructor nodded. “Next time, I expect at least one of them to land a hit. If not, I’ll have you in the ring instead, to make sure you still have what it takes.” She saw the fear in his eyes. “I accept nothing but the best from the Third Fleet.”
The medics ran onto the mat as she dabbed at her forehead, and she spotted Jar’Bek sitting on a bench nearby. She walked over to him and he stood, straightening what was no doubt an extremely expensive suit. “From one disappointment to another.”
The lawyer smiled. “Imagine only seeing your son when he is paid to be in your presence,” he countered.
She smirked. “Your tongue is still your most deadly weapon.”
He nodded. “Ah, but it must make you proud to see me make use of the things you taught me.”
Her face twitched. “I taught you to be a true Ashi, a soldier. I taught you to respect-”
Jar’Bek held up his hand. “I’m here on my client’s business, not yours. And, as I am paid a considerable sum per gal, let us not waste their money on matters that are concluded.” He enjoyed the irritation on her face. “I am here to finalise the amnesty treaties, and conclude your membership as citizens of Earth.”
The Admiral held up her hands, looking down at her combat training clothing. “I must shower and change first. Please, wait for me in my private office.” She smiled politely.
“No.” His smile seemed to hover as if it was a mask that could slip at any time. “You may have disowned me, but I still remember your tricks. You knew the time of our meeting; you had me brought here so you could intimidate me with this display of aggression. Then you ask me to wait in your office amongst your memorabilia and trophies.” He watched the anger behind her eyes. “You really think these tired old tricks will work on me?”
She sneered. “At least you remember something.”
“Oh, I had the scars removed, but I kept the lessons.” He walked away. “My client's time is valuable and I have scheduled a meeting with the other fleet Admiral’s for later this cycle. Since we have no time for your games, let us go to the briefing room. My team is already set up. If you wish to shower, know that it is more of your negotiating time you are wasting, and I do so hate waste.” He collected his briefcase and walked out of the room.
Captain Loring hurried after Jar’Bek, catching him as he entered the elevator. “You sure you want to antagonise the Admiral like that?”
He leaned back against the wall of the elevator and relaxed, letting out a small sigh. “A little negotiating trick a Kittran taught me. Anyway, she is no longer my Admiral.”
Elora’Tan leaned back on the opposite wall. “She is your mother, Jar.”
“Ha.” Jar’Bek laughed. “She disowned me. This is the first contact we’ve had in I forget how many celes. Her first thought is to try and intimidate me with that display. She likes to beat on cadets, she likes to cause pain, and she wanted me to watch.”
Loring gave a weak smile. “It forges strong soldiers. We can’t afford weakness.”
The elevator stopped and Jar’Bek took a step closer to Elora’Tan. “You think it was weakness that made me leave?” He didn’t let her answer, turning and exiting into the hallway. His voice now resonated with authority as he growled, “In case you people have forgotten, the Ashi will operate under the same rules as the rest of the colony. My mother is not the law... I am the law.”

Next

My Ranking of Kimi Raikkonen's Top 15 Races

*Keep in mind - if he wins a race in an Alfa, that will go on this list.
The Iceman's 15 finest drives (in my opinion having reviewed them all once more):

1. Spain 2005
There are dominant drives and then there is Spain 2005. Raikkonen just crushed the hearts of the quarter of a million Spaniards who wanted Alonso to win, including King Juan Carlos, first by storming to Pole, then by pulling out a massive lead in the first stint before his pitstop, setting the fastest lap 13 times in the first 24 laps of the race, (speechless), in what I believe is the most dominant opening stint by a driver I have ever seen. He was over 2 seconds a lap quicker than any other driver in clean air during this race at certain points. It wasn't just the car, it was also the fact he was driving so intensely, precisely and with anger in the car. Martin Brundle used words like "insane", "unbelievable" to describe this race performance.
My take: He was driving at a transcendent level, because he was a man on a mission, after he lost a guaranteed win at Imola 2005 and his main rival Alonso had been given all these heroic titles after (heir to Schumacher, the next big thing, the next WDC). I truly believe that hurt Kimi, who was already an established superstar in most people's eyes, no doubt, and who felt his performances were being overshadowed.
It wasn't really his fault that by that point in 2005, the car stalled in Australia, the tyre valve exploded in Malaysia and the driveshaft broke in Imola. Oh well, point taken Kimi. He also lapped his teammate Juan-Pablo Montoya in this race. Not much else to add here - this was one of the greatest drives I've ever seen and in my view, Kimi's best drive.
Kimi's Q2 Pole Lap:
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/ia9558/kimis_pole_lap_barcelona_2005_q2/
Part 1 of Kimi's 1st stint:
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/f3pslw/raikkonens_greatest_ever_stint_kimi_utterly/
Part 2 of Kimi's 1st stint:
https://streamable.com/y0ffob
Post-race Martin Brundle and James Allen praise Kimi's performance:
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/hyx6hg/martin_brundle_and_james_allen_discuss_kimis/

2. Suzuka 2005
One of the greatest drives of all time, this performance could easily have been number 1 on this list. Kimi started 17th and pulled off the greatest comeback drive in the history of F1. He started off by passing several cars at the start, and then used his heavier fuel load to jump Alonso at the pitstops. He then brilliantly passed MSC into turn 1 and closed down Webber and Button. Once JB and Webber pitted, Kimi began to smash the lap record, lap after lap, from absolutely nowhere. Whether or not Fisichella was aware of what was going on, was irrelevant, because Kimi managed to pass Fisichella on the final lap of the Grand Prix, to win the race and keep McLaren in the constructors championship battle - bringing Ron Dennis to tears and leading notorious cheater Flavio Briatore to trash Fisichella publicly (poor Fisi) saying "Alonso wouldn't have let Kimi past" (classy Flavio). For me the laps he put in, once Webber and Button pitted, won him this race, but that day, Kimi made the impossible, possible and redefined the standards of what is now possible from the back of the grid. A legendary driver, moment and race which will forever be remembered in F1 folklore. I also think Renault underperformed this race, Renault had the faster car in Japan and China, but Alonso and Fisichella made critical errors (especially Alonso) and the Renault strategy was garbage. Wow.
Race highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGINdQGaVh0
Peter Windsor-narrated race highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bpgY4JEWkE
Onboard highlights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0C2_mkgQio&t
Last 7 laps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU82ky4hy-k&t

3. Spa 2004
Kimi started 10th after a really wet qualifying. He immediately passed a bunch of cars at the start, and after the restart passed Schumacher through Eau Rouge, demolished his teammate the lap after and was catching the Renaults at a crazy 1 second per lap before they ran into issues. From there, Kimi brilliantly managed the race, including 2 SC restarts where he played games with Schumacher to ensure he could hold off the mighty F2004 to the finish line. This was the first time a driver had beaten Schumacher in a true head-to-head in 2004 where Schumacher had finished the race or didn't have extenuating issues. A telling moment was in the press conference when Schumacher magnanimously said: "The better one won". You can say that again, not many drivers in the history of F1 win Spa in a 2004 McLaren against the F2004 of Schumacher.
Scroll down for Spa 2004 clip in this link:
https://www.formula1.com/en/latest/features/2016/8/lewis-and-kimi-battle-memorable-spa-belgium-moments.html
Kimi's passes on MSC and David Coulthard: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/hs5add/raikkonen_passes_michael_schumacher_david/
Kimi's pass on Schumacher through Eau Rouge (onboard):
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/gy1pxz/kimis_eau_rouge_pass_on_schumacher_in_spa_2004/

4. Monaco 2005
This could also be number 1 in my view. Started off the weekend by putting his car on provisional pole in Q1 by half a second over Alonso and 1.2 seconds over Montoya, with one of the best quali laps I have ever seen. Kimi had a diamond encrusted helmet for this race and put in a fitting Herculean race performance. During the race, there was traffic jam caused by Albers. This brought out the SC, and McLaren actually FAILED to call Kimi into the pits! Race should be over right? Wrong.
McLaren took a gamble and told Kimi he had to pull out a 20 second lead in 15 laps to stay in front of the Renaults who had pitted! Were Neil Martin, Adrian Newey, Paddy Lowe, and Pat Fry crazy? Well maybe, but not in this case.
Kimi responded between lap 28 and 42, by pulling out a 35 second lead!
Gap Raikkonen to Alonso
Lap 28: 3.294s (Restart)
Lap 29: 7.557s
Lap 30: 9.447s
Lap 31: 11.740s
Lap 32: 14.147s
Lap 33: 17.002s
Lap 34: 19.845s
Lap 35: 22.665s (Raikkonen has the lead he needs)
Lap 36: 25.168s
Lap 37: 27.107s
Lap 38: 28.048s
Lap 39: 29.088s
Lap 40: 32.398s
Lap 41: 34.751s (Raikkonen sets his fastest lap)
Lap 42: Raikkonen pits, retains lead
Lap 43: 13.119s
The grid was stunned. McLaren were stunned. I was stunned. Button, who was commentating that weekend (BAR were disqualified for a fuel tank issue) said "Kimi's doing a great job - it's not all fuel or the car". Mark Webber, a Monaco specialist, summed it up in the press conference by saying Kimi was "the class all weekend."
Finally after this race, Martin Whitmarsh, deputy team principal of McLaren said: "At the end of the day, you've got to say that Kimi, for three weekends, has just been blindingly perfect. It's surreal, how good and strong he has been. He's been quick at Imola bumping over chicanes, a highly technical circuit like Barcelona, and then Monaco."
One of the most impressive Monaco performances I've seen and a really exciting race having watched it back recently!
Race clip:
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/eoh7jg/here_he_is_annihilating_the_rest_of_the_grid_on/
Quali clip:
https://www.reddit.com/formula1/comments/fu9nzf/you_know_it_is_a_monster_lap_when_your_rival/
2020 Race report on Monaco 2005: https://www.motorsport.com/f1/news/monaco-gp-2005-retro-raikkonen/4795230/

5. Fuji 2007
Kimi on the Michelin tyre was a different driver to Kimi on the Bridgestone tyre. But I have to say, this was a crazy drive. Kimi had to start at the back after Ferrari were penalized before the start for some FIA infringement with the tyres. Kimi proceeded to pass 13 or so cars to carve his way up to third in what was probably the drive of the day, even better than that of Lewis. Both ITV commentators were shocked by this drive, and I actually think he would have won this race if he had a chance to start in his normal grid slot:
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/fjthe1/raikkonen_driving_like_a_god_fuji_2007_pass_on/

5. Indianapolis 2003
Sometimes, a nickname for a driver or the hype that surround a driver, is just that - hype. But in the case of Kimi, during his McLaren stint, there was no finer example of why he was the Iceman, F1's fastest, most composed and leading young star at the 2003 American GP - a race he had to finish in the top 2 to stay in the title hunt for the final round at Suzuka - so much tension! What he did in this race is still spoken at McLaren, as a miracle. His McLaren race engineer, Mark Slade explained in 2017: "One of the best races he ever did was Indianapolis in 2003, when we were on the Michelin wets and the Michelin wets were rubbish. He finished second. It was fantastic. He just drove his heart out. He didn't win the race, but it was an absolutely phenomenal drive. "
Apart from the fact Kimi put in a super lap to be on pole, in a car that was getting on to be 2 years old, (McLaren failed to launch their real 2003 car that year), from absolutely nowhere in Q2. Kimi was 7 tenths faster than DC, stunning the grid, in a car that should have been fifth or sixth and was peerless at the start of the GP. Then it rained. Why was this important? Well because it was the tyre war era, where Michelin and Bridgestone had different tyres for each team. Sauber and Ferrari had Bridgestone Intermediate Tyres while the rest only had the Michelin Full Wet available, which was around 1 second a lap slower for the conditions at Indy - totally inferior to the tyres Bridgestone had brought. Schumacher and the rest of the Bridgestone runners just easily clawed through the field once the rain hit, but Kimi somehow, beyond any realms of logic, stayed in touch and didn't utterly disappear like the other Michelin drivers, viciously fighting off the likes of Alonso, Wilson, Ralf Schumacher and hunting down some of the remaining Bridgestone runners, including Frentzen's Sauber, for 2nd place, keeping him in the title race! What a drive! ITV called it heroic. I call it the most underrated drive (and race in general) of the 21st century. A legendary performance. If Michael was Achilles, then Kimi was Aeneas. The tragic hero, giving it his all to keep his title dreams alive (apologies for the Greek mythology analogies).
Kimi vs Alonso: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIIfmVnDQdY
Kimi passing Frentzen and backmarker for 2nd place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLTGlTs4nQo
Kimi's pole lap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8woM5O42T0

6. Nurburgring 2003
A crucial weekend for Kimi. He had to regain the lead of the world title and responded to Schumacher on his home soil with an absolutely brilliant pole lap - this first of his career, but the way he drove it could have been the 33rd of his career. 0.032 quicker than the superior Ferrari and Williams cars and a whopping 1.2 seconds faster than David Coulthard, his teammate. DC has said in the past about Kimi that "In his first F1 career, when he raced for Sauber, McLaren and Ferrari, he could go from being asleep just before qualifying to delivering a lap that made your jaw drop. It was just incredible to watch." Nurburgring 2003 was one of those laps. In the race, ITV remarked Raikkonen was a future champion, as he just effortlessly, in the third fastest car, pulled away from the rest. It looked like a guaranteed win. A brilliant win. Until the Mercedes engine exploded, at their home race, at the most crucial point in the championship, and ultimately cost Kimi the 2003 world title. Angry, but proud is how most would call that moment. Ralf won the race, but everyone knew who the man of the weekend had been. And it sent a serious message down the paddock. If you want this title, you'll have to get by Kimi and McLaren first. This was also one of the clearest examples I have seen of a driver "outperforming their car", if you believe in that phrase.
Brundle praising him as a true champion: at Nurburgring: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/en2xtn/here_he_is_being_praised_as_a_true_champion/
Pole Lap (watch Norbert Haug's reaction): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCIZnsllGAw&t

7. Nurburgring 2006
He was in an inferior McLaren in 2006, particularly with regards to the poor V8 Mercedes engine which lacked torque and top speed. Kimi often found himself beating the midfield but just off the Ferrari's and Renault's. One race that always stood out to me was this one, when he passed Button early on with a brilliant move, and comfortably beat the rest behind the all dominant Ferrari and Renault cars. In a race of his own. Too quick for the rest, but not given a car quick enough to fight Ferrari or Renault. It was tough choosing between Spain 2006 and Nurburgring 2006. Kimi's start in Spain was brilliant, but in Nurburgring he was all over the back of the 2nd Ferrari, which was head and shoulders above any other car, which shows you how unbelievably quick Kimi was in that McLaren.
Mark Slade, his race engineer said the following about this performance “Here (Nurburgring) and in Spain Kimi may just have driven the best two races we’re ever going to see. You only have to look at him as he gets out of the car to see how much effort he’s expended. Here he gave it everything – and, you know, probably nobody noticed it apart from the guys close to it. He was driving only for points and he was driving for most of the race only against himself. He was sensational.” Sums it up doesn't it?
Kimi's magnificent pass on Jenson Button: https://streamable.com/gmc2ak
Brilliant onboard: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/iergz4/video_kimi_onboard_nurburgring_2006_one_of_the/

8. Silverstone 2007
Vintage Raikkonen. He jumped Lewis at the first stop, and then Alonso at the second stop. The Ferrari was by no means the quickest car that weekend, Raikkonen was just flying all weekend and had been given the hurry up by Montezemolo a week before saying "we are waiting for the real Kimi - the one his rivals fear, to return". Whether or not that impacted Kimi we don't know, but the new front suspension brought in France certainly helped. Totally destroyed Massa in quali and the race, if you look at the lap time chart. The real beginning of Raikkonen's triumphant return to greatness in 2007. Silverstone confirmed what some were beginning to suspect in France - Kimi was a threat for the title.
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/eohcn1/here_he_is_overcutting_alonso_and_hamilton_fo (overcut moment)

9. Spa 2009
Winning in that 2009 Ferrari deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. Joking obviously, but you get what I am saying here. No other driver would have won this race, he used the extra run off at the start (quick thinking) then brilliantly passed Kubica before the SC came out and then passed Fisichella after the SC restart and won a race his teammate in the same car finished last in. The very driver he beat for the win, Fisichella became his teammate for the remaining races, and Fisi finished close to last every time in the 2009 Ferrari. His teammate for this race Luca Badoer, finished last. Sums it up.
Kimi's pass on Kubica: https://streamable.com/vzh1gi
Kimi's pass on Fisichella: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/fg7voq/raikkonen_activates_god_mode_spa_2009_pass_fo
Aldo Costa praises Kimi: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/fr04gn/aldo_costa_on_kimis_win_at_spa_2009/

10. Australia 2013
A no-brainer for me. Wet qualifying set him back, but he absolutely mastered this race, and had a plan from the very start as only he can do. He knew his car was handling exactly as he wanted, so he quietly managed his tyres, making a move on Hamilton early in the race to stay in touch with Alonso who was always going to be the main threat. Raikkonen managed to somehow keep his tyres alive to do one less stop than his competitors and still set fastest lap. This reminded me so much of 2005 when drivers had to race the full distance of a GP one 1 set of tyres, and Kimi would always be quicker and preserve his tyres better than anybody else. He has a light touch at the wheel, but is brilliantly quick, and he did what I believe no other driver could have done that day. This win also remains the last time a team other than Red Bull, Ferrari or Merc won a race in Formula 1. Kimi setting fastest lap near the end of the race to send a message. James Allison was in disbelief claiming "Raikkonen broke traction with the wheels 3 times in the race", something he'd never seen before. Grosjean was barely in the top 10 this race and was pretty much speechless to explain the difference between him and Kimi which was unacceptably large.
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/fq1qts/raikkonen_demoralizes_alonso_australia_2013/

11. China 2007
What a classic race overall. But also, what a drive. Kimi was under immense pressure. The hopes and dreams of F1's most prestigious team were laid squarely on his shoulders and Kimi knew, one mistake and his title dreams would be over, but he still had to take risks to win and stay in the hunt, Lewis and Kimi were in a different race to Alonso and Massa all weekend, and after Kimi passed Lewis on burned out tyres, he was invincible in the finish. Exactly what was needed. A clutch, confidence inspiring victory. This could easily have been in the top 10 on this list.
https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/fwerzm/kimi_vs_lewis_full_china_2007_duel/

12. Spain 2006
Carbon copy of Nurburgring that year, but this race also gets a mention due to Kimi's unbelievable start, (linked below). Mark Slade, his race engineer said the following about this performance “Here (Nurburgring) and in Spain Kimi may just have driven the best two races we’re ever going to see. You only have to look at him as he gets out of the car to see how much effort he’s expended. Here he gave it everything – and, you know, probably nobody noticed it apart from the guys close to it. He was driving only for points and he was driving for most of the race only against himself. He was sensational.”
Kimi's magnificent start at Spain 2006: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/iaif58/i_personally_think_this_is_the_best_ever_start_at/

13. Australia 2003
If it wasn't for a faulty pitlane speed limiter glitch, Kimi would have won this race and become the first driver in the history of F1 to win starting from the pitlane. Kimi actually qualified 15th due to an error in qualifying (he made the same error in 2003, 2005 and 2012, he always takes way too much speed into turn 12), but BOY did he make up for it in the race.
Due to the mixed conditions at the start, McLaren pitted Kimi at the end of the formation lap, and gave him a full tank of fuel and tyres. Big gamble. Kimi brilliantly carved his way through the field, showing elite tyre management (no surprise) and dispatching driver after driver in clinical fashion. The iconic moment of this race came when he was being pressured by Michael Schumacher, with Kimi incredibly now leading the race and Kimi just slightly, put him on the grass into turn 1, immediately drawing praise from ITV and defending brilliantly with a slower car, sending a message to the all-dominant Ferrari's and F1: Kimi Raikkonen is now an elite driver and is afraid of nobody.
Unfortunately, he picked up a 10-second stop go penalty because the pit lane speed limiter was calibrated incorrectly, but without that he would have won this race. Mark Slade, his McLaren engineer said it was clear, that compared to 2002, Kimi had taken a step in Australia 2003, and most in McLaren knew after this race, Kimi was finally turning into the driver he had been hyped up to be after 2001. Now here is my take. If Kimi had won this race, it would have been in the top 5 greatest F1 drives of ALL TIME in my humble opinion. Irrespective of driver, to win from the pitlane is not realistic in any scenario. But McLaren's reliability got in the way. This is also one of the most underrated races of all time, like Indy 2003, watch it if you get a chance, quite thrilling stuff happening all through the race.
Kimi's brilliant defense on Michael at Australia 2003 (putting Michael on the grass moment happens later in the clip): https://www.reddit.com/formula1/comments/esagcd/raikkonen_vs_schumacher_australia_2003/

14. Imola 2003
Third fastest car that weekend by far, brilliantly consistent in the race, held off a much faster Barrichello until the finish line, to finish second, ahead of 2 Williams, a Ferrari, and his teammate. Kept his lead in the WDC too.
Kimi holding off Rubens: https://www.reddit.com/KimiRaikkonen/comments/er7d9f/here_he_is_teaching_barrichello_how_to_drive/
Rubens praising Kimi's 2003 season: https://streamable.com/u6c3xj

15. Hungary 2012
This could have been higher as it was the first time I truly felt he was "back" following his comeback. He was just biding his time in this race, before just UNLEASHING a set of fastest laps like you will ever see, jumping him all the way to 2nd place, including defending against his teammate on pit exit RUTHLESSLY. Kimi is NOT just a flat out, no strategy WDC driver like Jacques Villeneuve or Alan Jones (brutish) were, he is also HIGHLY TACTICAL like Prost was. He knows how, and when to push. That's the Kimi I remembered from McLaren. No fear. Fast, but precise. Never ragged. No quarter given. He was all over Lewis in the final laps too, but it sent a message to the paddock. Kimi will win again in F1, and I had no doubts after this race. Eric Boullier, Lotus team principal. said the following about Kimi and this race:
Eric Boullier:
“Kimi’s greatest asset though remains his racecraft. He can read a race as if he had a GPS in his mind. I remember the 2012 Hungarian Grand Prix. He had started P5 and was quite slow and already 9s behind Hamilton who was leading the race. I asked him over the radio why he was not picking up the pace when he could have gone much faster. I did not get any answer, you know how Kimi is, ‘leave me alone’ and everything.
“The entire strategy was just unfolding live in his head, looking at the data, gaps, and screens: I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“All of a sudden, he started banging laps that were 1.5s quicker all the while keeping a 2s gap to Hamilton. We could not grasp what was happening. That’s only when he pitted that we understood his strategy: he was leapfrogging Romain [who had started from the front row alongside Hamilton]. Kimi’s plan worked to perfection and he came home in second place. The entire strategy was just unfolding live in his head, looking at the data, gaps, and screens: I’ve never seen anything like this."
Neither have we, Eric.
Kimi's phenomenal stint before he pitted here: https://streamable.com/n8y4ht
Kimi's defense on Grosjean coming out of the pits here: https://streamable.com/abjhvb

[Modevent] Shifting Sands

States are not homogenous entities. They are composed of dozens of different interest groups and cliques, each with their own vision for what the state ought to do and what society ought to look like. In functioning states, these groups agree on more things than they disagree on--or at least, the powerful groups are able to monopolize power enough to keep dissident voices drowned out. Carefully crafted power sharing arrangements, usually aided along by some sort of common enemy or common mission, keep states functioning well enough to work as coherent actors in the international arena.
But these alliances are not set in stone. Like the sands of the Rub’ al Khali, they shift with the winds. One day, two factions may be the closest of allies. The next, one might overreach. One might think they have become too powerful to need to be held down by the commitments they’ve made to their erstwhile allies.
And what happens when they’re wrong?
Chaos.
Power in Saudi Arabia
On paper, the King of Saudi Arabia holds near-absolute power over the country. With no constitutional constraints, it would seem that the King (or more recently, the Crown Prince) enjoys unlimited power in Saudi society. There is no elected--nor even appointed--legislature to serve as a check on the King’s power. If the King wishes to permit women to drive, he need nearly decree it, and so shall it be.
Viewing Saudi Arabia through this lens, however, flattens the existing power dynamics in the country. The King’s absolute power is in practice constrained by the varied interest groups that help to lend legitimacy to the institution of the monarchy, such as (to name a few) the military, the House of Saud, and the religious establishment (the ulema).
The relationship between the ulema and the monarchy has been critical to the continued existence of the Saudi Arabian state. Starting with the 1744 alliance between Muhammad ibn Saud, the founder of the al-Saud dynasty, and Muhammad ibn ‘Abd al-Wahhab, the two groups have formed something of a symbiotic relationship. The House of Saud provides the Wahhabist movement with protection and propagates its beliefs, and in exchange the Wahhabist movement lends legitimacy to the monarchy.
The Grand Mosque Seizure; or, Why Saudi Arabia is the Way it Is
In November 1979, hundreds of armed religious militants took control of the Masjid al-Haram in Mecca--the holiest site in Islam. Their leader, Juhayman al-Otaybi, declared his brother-in-law, Mohammed Abdullah al-Qahtani, to be the *Mahdi--a redeeming figure in Islami prophesied to arrive on Earth several years before Judgement Day. For a period of two weeks, al-Otaybi and his supporters managed to maintain control of the Mosque. The ensuing assault led to the deaths of hundreds of fighters and pilgrims.
The Grand Mosque Seizure was, in part, a response to the growth of “western influence” within Saudi Arabia. Al-Otaybi condemned the West calling for the abolition of television and radio, the expulsion of non-Muslims, and the removal of women from the workplace. For al-Otaybi, the ruling al-Saud family’s refusal to resist this western influence had robbed them of their right to rule.
While al-Otaybi was ultimately unsuccessful in overthrowing the House of Saud, his insurrection did led to an important revelation for the Saudi monarchy: religious extremism was perhaps the single greatest threat to their continued hold on power in Saudi Arabia. Rather than restricting the power of the ulema in an attempt to curtail this threat, King Khalid dramatically expanded the role of the ulema and the religious police, surrendering some of the House of Saud’s power in exchange for additional stability and security. This state of affairs, with some tinkering, would remain the status quo for the next three decades.
Shifting Sands
Since the September 11th, 2001 attacks and the beginning of the Global War on Terror, the monarchy has taken significant steps to attempt to curtail the influence of the ulema. The monarchy has become much less tolerant of clerics that speak out against the monarchy, often arresting them (though these arrests are usually temporary, they are enough to scare the dissident clerics into silence).
The rise of Mohammad bin Salman in the mid-2010s accelerated this curtailment of the ulema’s power. Viewed as a youthful reformer, MbS has undone many of the laws that were put in place following the Grand Mosque Seizure: in 2018, he removed the ban on female drivers, while in 2021, he legalized gambling and the consumption of alcohol. While he was within his rights to do so--again, the monarchy has no formal restrictions on its authority--these actions flew in the face of the alliance struck between the House of Saud and the ulema.
Had the Crown Prince stopped there, conservative opposition to his rule might have been vocal, but nevertheless manageable. Resistance in this period was largely restricted to existing Saudi exile groups like Movement for Islamic Reform in Arabia and Hizb ut-Tahrir. A collection of senior clerics in Saudi Arabia rallied together to compose a new Memorandum of Exhortation--a call-back to the 1992 Memorandum written in the aftermath of Gulf War--condemning the Kingdom’s slide away from righteousness and towards western hedonism. The participating clerics were quickly stripped of their positions, arrested, or forced into exile, but their memorandum nevertheless made the rounds--especially in more rural, more conservative communities, where the monarchy had less power (relatively) than the ulema. Still, it spawned little but discontent whispers and prayers that someone would do something to set the Kingdom back on the righteous path.
But he didn’t stop there. No more than four months later, Saudi Arabia invited the Bahraini Shi’a cleric Isa Qassim to Saudi Arabia. By itself, this would have created a diplomatic incident--Qassim was, in essence, the leader of the Shi’a opposition to the Saudi-aligned Sunni ruling dynasty of Bahrain, serving as a persistent thorn in the side of the Bahraini royal family. The fact that the House of Saud was inviting him to Saudi Arabia not just as a guest, but paying for the construction of a Hawza (a Shi’a seminary), was nothing short of sacreligious.
The moment this news went public, conservative Saudi society flew into an outrage. How dare the monarchy collaborate with the radifa. Whatever control the monarchy had over the clergy melted away overnight, with most every Sunni cleric in the country denouncing the government’s support of the heretics in some form or another. Eight of the twenty-one members of the Council of Senior Scholars, the highest religious body in the country (and also one of the religious institutions most aligned with the House of Saud) resigned in protest. Among those resigning included several members of the al ash-Sheikh family, the foremost family of religious scholars and the direct descendents of al-Wahhab. Even Abdul-Rahman Al Sudais, the Imam of the Great Mosque of Mecca, issued a public denouncement of the government’s decision to fund the Hawza.
Protests broke out throughout the country, especially in Mecca, Medina, and the Nejd, and while Saudi security forces were able to break their resolve after a week or two of protests, their discontent did not dissipate. The Saudi government’s 2022 decision to invite sixteen new American military bases only reignited tensions. Overnight, Saudi Arabia went from having no American bases to being the country with the sixth most American military bases. That anger stayed, bubbling beneath the surface. Waiting for an outlet.
It finally found that outlet in 2022. At the opening ceremony of the new Hawza 'Ilmiya Dammam, a car bomb ripped through the crowd, destroying the largest building in the compound. When first responders arrived at the scene to treat the casualties, another suicide bomber--this one disguised as a first responder himself--detonated his vest, killing several dozen paramedics and security personnel. Several hours later, on the other side of the country in Jazan, a car bomber struck an under-construction American base, killing several Saudi construction workers (most of whom were migrant workers from South Asia or the Philippines), two American contractors leading the construction effort, and three American officers. Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the attacks the next day.
In total, some eighty-four people, including three American servicemen, two American contractors, and forty Saudi nationals, died in the attacks, while another two- to three-hundred were wounded. Among those dead were several of the most important clerics of the new Hawza, including Qassim and the Pakistani marja’ Muhammad Hussain Najafi. The other Pakistani marja’ involved in the Hawza, Bashir al-Najafi, succumbed to his injuries a week later. The response from the predominantly Wahhabi Sunni clergy in the country ranged from silence (for those not willing to risk the ire of the monarchy) to celebratory (for those more dedicated to their faith than self-preservation). For the Saudi government, this was a concerning sign of what was to come. Older members draw comparisons between the current political moment and that of the 1990s, when outrage against the monarchy led to the formation of conversative opposition groups and an increase in terror attacks by groups like al Qaeda.
And indeed, their fears may be legitimate. Anti-American protests are becoming increasingly common throughout the country, with the country’s American embassies, consulates, and base construction sites under near constant siege by conservative protesters. The Sahwa movement, a peaceful Islamist group affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood opposed to American bases on the Arabian peninsula, has returned in full force after being all but crushed by government repression in the 1990s. Increasing numbers of Saudi clerics are issuing open criticisms and condemnations of the government and its recent activities, posing a serious challenge to the legitimacy of the rule of King Salman and the Crown Prince.
In a different world, the monarchy might have been able to find some way to placate these dissidents. The warnings were there. But once the genie is out of the bottle, it’s impossible to put it back in.
In April 2022, King Salman and Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman launched an unprecedented purge of the religious establishment and the non-ruling branches of the House of Saud. Over the course of 48 hours, Saudi security forces rounded up and arrested numerous prominent figures on corruption charges. While this was in and of itself insignificant--MbS had already used corruption arrests to establish his power in the House of Saud in the past--the scale of them was substantially larger than any previous arrests. Moreover, those royals detained through this process found themselves stripped of the rights and comforts they had come to expect during detentions like these: rather than the Ritz Carlton, they instead found themselves thrown into dank, musty jail cells, as though they were any other criminal. This was a signal to the rest of the House of Saud: Mohammad bin Salman would no longer tolerate anything even remotely resembling opposition to his agenda.
The Prince’s seizure of power did not end there. Later that week, King Salman announced that the Wahhabi religious clerics would no longer have any temporal power outside of the Holy Cities of Mecca and Medina. Saudi Arabia, according to the King, was going to become a more tolerant, progressive nation. Non-Muslims would have the same rights as Muslims for the first time in the Kingdom’s history.
As if this weren’t an insult enough to the religious establishment, the King then declared that the Kingdom would be holding an interfaith celebration in the city of Mecca. This celebration would mark the first time that non-Muslims were (legally) allowed entrance into the Grand Mosque in over a thousand years--flying in the face of a restriction that predated the House of Saud itself.
While King Salman’s decree robbed the Wahhabi religious establishment of its temporal power, it could never hope to so suddenly deprive them of their ability to sway the hearts and minds of the masses. Almost every cleric in the country, Salafi or Sufi, Wahhabi or Shafi’i, Sunni or Shi’a, immediately and unequivocally condemned the King’s decision to reverse a thousand years of tradition and allow non-Muslims into the holiest site of Islam. The Imam of the Grand Mosque resigned in disgust, stating that he would rather die than preside over kafirs gaining entrance to Holy City. Most of the Mosque’s clerics resigned with him.

The Situation on the Ground

The country has exploded into massive protests, attended by millions of people across the country. There are near-constant masses of people in the streets of Saudi Arabia’s major cities, while construction work on the proposed Church in Riyadh has been unable to continue due to the hundreds, if not thousands, of protesters surrounding the site at all times. Every day, their grip on Saudi society seems to slip further. Saudi Arabia has long relied on the cooperation of the religious establishment to quash dissent and break up protests. With that alliance shattered by King Salman’s recent actions, Saudi Arabia has had a harder time containing these protests than ever before. There are frequent reports of Saudi security personnel collaborating with the protesters, often sneaking advance warning of police crackdowns to protesters or allowing protest leaders to slip away from arrest warrants.
This environment has allowed numerous critics of the government a new lease on life, as dissent is simply too large and too widespread for the government to crack down on all dissidents at once. One major resurfaced critic of the Saudi government has been the Muslim Brotherhood. Once an ally of the Saudis, the Muslim Brotherhood was declared a terrorist organization in 2014, after its Egyptian leadership was deposed in the 2013 coup d’etat. Since then, the group’s Saudi Arabian leaders were forced to flee into hiding in Qatar, Iraq, and, to a lesser extent, Bahrain. While the Muslim Brotherhood itself is not Wahhabist, and has many doctrinal disputes with the leading branch of Islam in Saudi Arabia, it has nevertheless made significant inroads into Saudi society over the past several months. As clerics and Saudi conservatives have become convinced that monarchy is unable to deliver the Sharia-adherent society they so desire (and worse, that they have little ability to coerce the monarchy into doing so), many have turned towards the Muslim Brotherhood and its promises of democracy. If nothing else, at least the system promoted by the Muslim Brotherhood would allow them to vote out incompetent royals like Mohammad bin Salman!
While many of these groups are not openly violent and are content to continue peaceful (if still terribly disruptive) means of protest against the government, other groups are not. Saudi intelligence is reporting a large surge in the membership numbers of extremist groups like Al Qaeda, Islamic State, and their affiliates. These groups are able to tap into the discontent that has manifested in Saudi society, using the more peaceful groups like the Muslim Brotherhood and Sahwa Movement as a front for radicalizing and recruiting disenfranchised and disgruntled Saudi conservatives. Saudi intelligence suspects that the Kingdom’s sky-high youth unemployment rate--about 25 percent in 2019--has not helped matters, with many of the new recruits coming from the under-30 age group. Saudi intelligence suspects that the growth of these dissident and jihadi groups has also been assisted by covert funding from Qatar and the Qatari nobility (and in the case of the Muslim Brotherhood only, from Turkey as well), though as of yet, they have been unable to find concrete proof.
Perhaps the most major opposition to Saudi rule, though, comes from the Wahhabi clerics that once lent so much legitimacy to the Saudi monarchy. Wahhabi clerics that had erstwhile been major supporters of the Saudi government took to every venue available to them--the pulpit, the streets, the internet, the radio--and loudly and repeatedly condemned the actions of the King and the Crown Prince, declaring that they had strayed from the path of the righteous and no longer had the moral authority to lead. Throughout the country, these Saudi intelligence and security forces have been overwhelmed trying to track down and arrest all of the clerics that have broken the law--either by insulting the King, calling for the death of unbelievers, or some other crime. Increasingly, they find that the public is providing a great deal of assistance in avoiding security personnel, providing housing, food, and other essentials that allow the clerics to go to ground and avoid arrest. Worse still, upper levels of the Saudi security apparatus have reported that their subordinates are, in some cases, simply refusing to carry out these arrest orders.
Finally, elements of Saudi intelligence loyal to the Crown Prince himself are reporting rumors that should have Mohammad bin Salman very concerned. The recent instability in Saudi Arabia has led several members of the House of Saud to think that they could do a much better job running the country than this upstart reformer. While intelligence is unable to pinpoint exactly who is a threat to Mohammad bin Salman at this time, they have managed to suss out that there are ongoing talks between some members of the House of Saud and some members of the religious establishment that a palace coup might be the best way to ensure that their interests are protected. King Salman and MbS go away, the House of Saud can continue with its graft and corruption, and Sharia law and the power of the Wahhabis comes back. It’s a win for everyone.
In short, Mohammad bin Salman faces a great number of issues that must be addressed--quickly--if he is to retain power.

Government Pockets Dry Up

(Written by Erhard)
Saudi Arabia has been largely discounting oil export revenues to favor stronger relationships with its allies. This was destined to cause problems when $200 Bn, over 90% of total Saudi exports, come from revenues off of the oil they export. These oil revenues are so critical to the Saudi economy, that cutting off the revenue would send the economy into recession. The targets of these discounts were namely strong Saudi allies like the US, UK, Australia, India, Japan, and many more who are all known to be heavy oil consumers. Saudi Aramco, one of the largest companies on Earth by revenue, had shored up many of its accounts and had begun selling off assets to private investors and other companies just to keep itself afloat. The company, a state-owned enterprise, had to consult the government for this, but had really no other way to save itself. There were rumors in the company of bankruptcy, in one of the most profitable organizations, and layoffs had begun. Of the 76,000 employees, the company quickly shrunk down to 40,000 to recoup the losses. Oil prices across the world had never ever been lower. Fuel across the US was reporting record prices of $1.12 per gallon, which made consumers very happy while the Saudi economy was doing damage control, preparing for an implosion. It would seem the only way the company could recover would be to cut oil operations to slow the quantity to the market, and jack up the price to 20% over market value, effectively eliminating the discount and charging premiums to those who formerly had discounts. If implemented, the US consumer’s dream would be short-lived as they would approach prices of $4.15 per gallon, but would likely save the economy.

The Paper Tiger

A recent series of arrests has also brought to light an unanticipated vulnerability in the Saudi security establishment. Early in 2022, the Ministry of Defense announced plans to double the number of active-duty personnel in the Saudi Land Forces in a period of just two years. Assuming no retirements or fatalities (something that is hard to assume, given the ongoing Saudi intervention in Yemen), the Royal Land Forces will have to hire over three hundred people per day. Meeting this requirement in a country without conscription has required a massive increase in recruitment targets, coupled with a corresponding decrease in the standards used in hiring. In essence, anyone with a warm body that can hold a rifle and walk is being allowed into the military. Moreover, the massive increase in junior enlisted personnel has further taxed the brass’s ability to maintain discipline and unit cohesion: the army’s absenteeism rate has sky-rocketed, as there are simply too many recruits and too few skilled officers and NCOs in order to adequately enforce punishments.
While the drop in Saudi Arabia’s combat capacity that this has caused is concerning on its own, far more concerning is the fact that not all of the recruits to the Saudi military have the country’s best interests at heart. A recent arrest of an Al Qaeda member in Riyadh revealed that numerous terrorist organizations, as well as other dissident organizations, have infiltrated substantial amounts of their members into the newly-expanded Saudi military. If left unchecked, these cells will pose a significant threat to the security of Saudi Arabia, and will be able to use their military training to greatly improve the efficiency of their parent organizations in the future. Moreover, it will give their parent organizations access to classified intelligence on Saudi (read: American) weapons systems, and likely lead to some of these systems ending up in the hands of militant groups in countries like Yemen.
Similarly worrying is the monarchy’s deteriorating control of the Saudi Arabian National Guard. Separate from the traditional command structures of the Saudi military, the SANG has long served as the anti-coup, counter-insurgency, and counter-protest wing of the Saudi security establishment. It is comprised of a mixture of (largely conservative) tribal militias and personnel recruited from the Wahhabi religious establishment. Traditionally, these affiliations have helped protect the government from coups by the more liberal-minded military. In this instance, where the threat to the regime’s existence comes from conservative, religious parts of society, the loyalty of the National Guard has been called directly into question. Some worry that the ousted clerics and the more conservative elements of the House of Saud have compromised the integrity of the SANG, and may be able to use it in order to depose the current ruling family. Whatever the case, most agree that something needs to be done--and soon.

Issues Abroad

Naturally, when things go badly in a country as large as Saudi Arabia, they have a tendency to spill over into their neighbors. Below is a brief summary of some of the spillover effects in neighboring countries.
The United Arab Emirates
While the United Arab Emirates has long been the most “progressive” of the Gulf States, it is not without hardliners and conservatives. The country’s recent decision to decriminalize gay marriage has been met with considerable criticism from the country’s right-wing. Outrage against this decision--coupled with, Emirati intelligence suspects, but cannot prove, some assistance and funding from Qatar--has led to a revival of Al Islah, the UAE-branch of the Muslim Brotherhood. The US presence in the UAE at Al Dhafra Air Base has also under scrutiny as the Sahwa Movement has spread across the border into the UAE, but so far, the movements are still content to resort to peaceful protest.
Bahrain
The death of Isa Qassim has sent shockwaves throughout Bahraini society, worsening already-existing tensions in the Shi’a-majority, Sunni-dominated nation. An important leader of the Shi’a community and political movement on the island, Qassim served as a constant voice for peace, frequently working to curtail the more militant wings of the Shi’a rights movement and channel them into peaceful activities like protest and, before the suspension of the legislature, voting. His martyrdom (and indeed, he is viewed as a martyr now in Bahrain) on Saudi territory has led to a great deal of suspicion in the Shi’a community of Bahrain, with many believing that Saudi security forces let the assassination occur in order to eliminate one of the peninsula’s largest Shi’a opposition leaders. Whether this is true or not is irrelevant: enough people believe it that the new leaders of the opposition who have risen to fill the void have become more convinced that the only way to have their demands met is through violence. In the future, Shi’a opposition groups on the island will be more likely to turn to violence in order to have their demands met.
The royal family has become increasingly skeptical of Saudi Arabia’s commitment to their continued existence and independence following its actions in Qatar. While they are not brave enough to stand up to Saudi Arabia (yet) owing to their proximity to the country, the Royal Family is deeply uncomfortable with the Saudi coup in Qatar. In essence, it appears to the Royal Family that Saudi Arabia will abuse the Crown Prince’s marriage ties in order to replace other leaders of the GCC as punishment for working against Saudi interests. Given the marriage ties between the grand daughter of the King of Bahrain and the Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman, Bahrain considers itself to be at heavy risk of one of these new “succession coups.” As such, Bahrain has started to (quietly) search for new allies to help guarantee its security against an aggressive Saudi Arabia.
Iraq
The death of Grand Ayatollah Basheer al-Najafi on Saudi territory at the hands of Sunni jihadists has led to a dramatic flare-up in sectarian tensions in Iraq. As one of the Big Four clerics in the holy city of Najaf, al-Najafi was one of the preeminent leaders of the Shi’a faith. Candlelight vigils and other mourning ceremonies have been held throughout the country to mark the passing of one of Shi’a Islam’s greatest minds, while anti-Saudi sentiment has been further cemented in the country.
tl;dr

Saudi Arabia has dramatically curtailed the powers of the religious establishment, and broken a thousand-year-old prohibition on non-Muslims entering the Holy City of Mecca
There are massive conservative protests in Saudi Arabia. The largely conservative security establishment is sympathetic to these protests, hampering the Saudi response.
The threat of terrorist attacks in Saudi Arabia has increased dramatically
So far, two Al Qaeda attacks have led to the destruction of the Hawza in Dammam (and the death of three very important Shi'a marja') the death of 84 people (including forty Saudi nationals, three American servicemen, and two American contractors), and the injury of another two- to three-hundred
Saudi Arabia is facing a massive revenue crisis due to its heavy discounting of oil exports
There is large resistance to the rule of MbS and King Salman within conservative circles, with some suspecting that they will not be in power for much longer.
Smaller conservative protests are occurring in the UAE

How To Stop the madness

Critic's Criticisms Part II: Canto Bight

This is the continuation of my series highlighting specific critic's criticisms of TLJ. Part I on Humor is here, which also details my reasoning for this mining operation. Here we are covering Canto Bight, and we have everything from run of the mill iodized stuff to hail-sized rock salt on display, so adjust your goggles accordingly.

Johnson overplays his hand occasionally — most notably an unnecessary sequence at the casino city of Canto Bight that goes straight from a political sermon into a plot hole

Ethan Sacks, New York Daily News - Fresh

The bad news is, this involves an unnecessary trip to a kind of casino planet that doesn’t really advance the story.

Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic - Fresh

A scene in an opulent casino is easily the most painful yet in this new generation of Star Wars flicks, eliciting images of the green screen busy set pieces of the early-2000 franchise additions, enticing to the youngest members of the audience who need their stories overly padded with shiny spectacle.

Matt Oakes, Silver Screen Riot - Fresh

Boyega is a loveable hero, and his new compadre Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) is a nice addition. However, as much as it isn’t overbearing, their entire sub-plot is when the adventure loses steam. This moves the film away from where all the interest is – Luke. At this point, it becomes a little disjointed and unnecessary, never reaching a point of excitement required for a chunk of plot of this degree.

Cameron Frew, FrewFilm - Fresh

an extended digression with Finn and Rose that doesn’t end up counting for much plotwise

Bob Chipman, Moviebob Central - Fresh

Sadly, Boyega's Finn -- still an appealing character -- is saddled with a go-nowhere plot-line that has him and Resistance mechanic Rose show up at a space casino and cross paths with a rogue with a heart of a gold (or maybe just rogue?) played by Benicio Del Toro. There's the kernel of interesting idea there as we glimpse the socioeconomic underpinnings of this galaxy far, far away in a way we've never seen before, but it's a digression whose payoff doesn't warrant the build-up. And when you're already the longest Star Wars ever made (two and a half hours!), some snipping here and there might not have been a bad idea.

Zaki Hasan, Zaki's Corner - Fresh

I’m not a big fan of Finn and Rose’s side adventure, which has the air of a spinoff story being tacked onto the main narrative (probably to give Finn a purpose, since Rey is doing her own thing with Luke). Apart from showcasing the power of hope on a younger generation, it’s not as well integrated into the seams of the larger story as it could’ve been.

Tomas Trussow, The Lonely Film Critic - Fresh

It’s Finn’s mission which takes the film off on a diversion where it didn’t really need to go. There’s a lot of comedic hijinks involved in all of this which George Lucas would have excised from the first draft of anything he ever wrote.

Niall Browne, Movies in Focus - Fresh

Much of the Canto Bight sequence feels unnecessary

Molly Templeton, Eugene Weekly - Fresh

First, both prominent new characters Rose and DJ seemed shoe-horned in, and Rose especially doesn't seem to have a real place in this film nor does she add anything to be hopeful about in the future. And while both Rey and Poe fans will probably be pleased with where their characters go, Finn sort of takes a step back, as he is sent off on a side adventure that seems like second-tier Star Wars. It's a diversion that takes up a good portion of the film and really serves no purpose to the overall story...worse yet, it seems to contain some heavy-handed political messages not commonly found, at least not this blatantly, in the Star Wars universe. These are more than just quibbles too: Most fans will not be used to the slow, lumbering pace or the general unevenness of this film...especially coming on the heels of the action-packed pacing that JJ Abrams brought in Episode VII.

Tom Santilli, AXS.com - Fresh

There’s some stuff that feels extraneous (the whole Canto Bight sequence, which seems to exist to set up a new Lando-like character played by Benicio del Toro), and the cycle of attack and retreat — mostly retreat — gets a bit monotonous.

Rob Gonsalves, eFilmCritic.com - Fresh

Muchas de las situaciones se sienten forzadas e innecesarias (por ejemplo, la aventura de Finn y Rose, me parece innecesaria).

Ruben Peralta Rigaud, Cocalecas - Fresh

Their jaunt to the casino planet of Canto Bight serves little purpose besides introducing Del Toro, updating the cantina scene, and offering up a tired CGI chase scene that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Attack of the Clones. Kudos (maybe) to Johnson for introducing income inequality to the Star Wars universe, but the entire sequence feels rushed and shoehorned into an already long movie.

Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press - Fresh

The weakest of these is Finn's. It's briskly paced and full of action yes, but let's just say a casino is no cantina... Worse, it also sees him interacting with Prequel Trilogy levels of CGI critters.

Karl Puschmann, New Zealand Herald - Fresh

But the worst distraction “The Last Jedi” has to offer involves erstwhile Stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega) and a Resistance maintenance worker named Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), a subplot every bit as visually and narratively inept as Lucas’ prequels were taken as.

J. Olson, Cinemixtape - Rotten

Finn’s entire storyline could be cut and the film would be better off. As Finn was one of the driving-force leads of The Force Awakens and also a charming character, this is a disappointing development. His adventure is such a low point that it would not seem out of place in one of George Lucas’ efforts from between 1999 and 2005, and it serves little purpose to the film’s overall plot.

Alex Doenau, Trespass - Fresh

there’s too much going on in The Last Jedi, and a lot of it feels like filler. Besides the aforementioned, stalled-out space battle, there’s a clunky sequence in a casino that goes on far too long, a lot of distracting cameos, and new characters inhabited by Laura Dern and Benicio del Toro, who bring close to nothing to the proceedings.

Bob Grimm, Reno News and Review - Fresh

Finn and Rose (a new addition to the principal cast) distract the audience with an overlong and ultimately unnecessary side plot.

Richard Dove, International Business Times - Rotten

And this plotline feeds right into the absolutely unforgivably terrible subplot, which is the adventures of Finn (John Boyega) the cowardly ex-storm trooper, and Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), the class-conscious engineer, who go on a fetch quest that is every bit as pointless as the whole matter of the military nonsense, only even worse, because it hinges on terrible comedy, bad CGI, and a spectacularly horrible moment when Johnson stops the film in its tracks to provide a ruthlessly on-the-nose lesson about economic inequality and the military-industrial complex.

Tim Brayton, Alternate Ending - Rotten

Some of what happens on the casino planet — called Canto Bight, and sure to figure in the next film — is goofy on a level as cringe-inducing as things we saw in the prequel trilogy; like, Jar-Jar Binks–awful.

MaryAnn Johanson, Flick Filosopher - Fresh

Johnson does his best to hustle from one location to the next, but the narrative has a tendency from time to time to drag. The biggest example of this are the scenes on Canto Bight. Which is a shame, because a huge chunk of the film’s message is established on these scenes. But the very nature of the story, with its many moving parts, inadvertently makes this section of the film feel like a diversion.

Chris Evangelista, Slashfilm - Fresh

The humour is kind of sour in other places, too, such as the silly neo-cantina scene as Finn and Rose track the whereabouts of a mysterious encrypter, who might be the rebellion’s last hope, into a sort of galactic Monte Carlo. The abundance of slapstick there and in other parts of the film doesn’t click and feels forced.

Diva Velez, TheDivaReview.com - Fresh

In an unnecessary and quite frankly preposterous third subplot, Finn (John Boyega) and a new character, Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), race against the clock to locate an underworld figure who can help them neutralise the First Order’s tracking device, thus allowing the diminished rebel fleet to escape.

Vicky Roach, Daily Telegraph (Australia) - Rotten

Weak points come with awkward humour that lacks comedic rhythm and an unnecessary casino escapade, where a disposable underworld character DJ (Benicio del Toro) is introduced, that subsequently soft lens into what is essentially a children's adventure tale about animals

Craig Takeuchi, Georgia Straight - Fresh

Unfortunately, we keep getting dragged away from the only emotionally resonant portion of the film to watch Finn and Rose engage in sub-prequel hijinks on the casino planet. Everything here is forced and awful, visually uninteresting and often dark to the point of unwatchability, lousy with mawkish little kids making bug eyes at the camera as we marvel at the horror of economic inequality, and drowned in an atrocious patina of truly terrible CGI. It calls to mind the droid factory in Attack of the Clones and the pre-podrace sequence in The Phantom Menace. Most offensively, the whole Finn/Rose diversion has absolutely no importance to the forward momentum of the plot—it's utterly irrelevant, even nonsensical.

Sonny Bunch, Washington Free Beacon - Rotten

Not everything in the film works: a few of the goofier comic moments fail to land and true to the legacy of Lucas there’s a fair amount of eye-wincing dialogue. More importantly, the second act bows under the weight of too many narrative strands; Finn’s away mission comes off as a bit superfluous, as does Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo, and both Rose and the beloved Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo) are sadly underwritten. In a trade-off that brings scope and complexity, Johnson has sacrificed narrative efficiency.

Christopher Machell, CineVue - Fresh

I didn't like the sequence in a casino--a callback to the Star Wars Cantina, of course, but also a chance to discuss the evils of war profiteers and the 1%. There are creatures there, there's slapstick, there's a heist of sorts, and it all harks back to my favourite of Johnson's films, The Brothers Bloom, in the interplay between the characters, in the lightness and clarity of the scheme. But it's tonally disruptive, and it introduces a trio of children who seem like part of a different film.

Walter Chaw, Film Freak Central - Fresh

Finn and Rose’s trip to a gambling planet – basically a space Monaco – flits between light fun and on-the-nose political narrative.

Richard Whittaker, Austin Chronicle - Fresh

It also begs the question why the space casino sequence, arguably the least relevant to the core story, wasn’t dramatically trimmed back. Aside from a throwaway final shot, this section of the film is the weakest – designed to depict profiteering space-capitalism run rampant (ironically, also depicting a stable of space-horses also running rampant).

Patrick Kolan, Shotgun Cinema - Fresh

But as ingenious as this setup may be, it also gives rise to the film's most pointless subplot. After waking from his coma, Finn (John Boyega) contrives a means by which he can disable the New Order's tracking device, albeit one that requires him to sneak off the fleeing vessel, travel to a Monaco-styled casino planet, track down a master codebreaker and infiltrate the enemy's warship undetected. This enormous MacGuffin sees Boyega partnered with the charming Kelly Marie Tran as Rose Tico, a Resistance engineer low in status but high in pluck. The problem is that their side adventure does absolutely nothing to advance the actual story.

Tom Glasson, Concrete Playground - Fresh

Unfortunately, John Boyega’s Finn, Oscar Isaac’s Poe and Kelly Marie Tran—as Finn’s new partner-in-rebellion Rose—are given the equivalent of busywork while the rest of the cast moves the plot along.

Simon Miraudo, Student Edge - Fresh

A detour to a casino planet where Finn and a resistance mechanic named Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) search for a codebreaker to help them disrupt the First Order's tracking of the retreating resistance ships feels like a trip into another movie. The stakes here seem far lower than the live-or-die scenario facing Poe, General Leia Organa (the late Carrie Fisher) and the others trying to make their getaway.

Greg Maki Star-Democrat (Easton, MD) Fresh

The only characters not doing a huge amount of growing are Finn (John Boyega) and mechanic Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), and not for nothing, their subplot opens up a momentum drain that is the only weakness in The Last Jedi. Boyega and Tran are perfectly enjoyable, and their subplot isn’t a complete waste of time, but you start to feel the length of The Last Jedi when it veers off with them, and Finn’s arc is a pale echo of Poe’s so it’s not like much is being accomplished.

Sarah Marrs Lainey Gossip Fresh

Rey’s journey toward learning the ways of the Jedi is far more entertaining than Finn’s convoluted (and ultimately pointless) storyline

Josh Bell Las Vegas Weekly Fresh

Rose’s character is front and center in the film’s weakest sequences. We’re diverted to a city where the worst of the worst frolic. No, not the usual hives of scum and villainy. It’s a casino where the very, very rich cavort. The evil One Percenters! If you’re not immediately yanked out of the story here you deserve a prize. The accompanying dialogue is equally clunky, as is the reason all these vapid souls gained their fortunes.

Christian Toto, HollywoodInToto.com - Rotten

Far less successful is the time spent with the rebels on the run from Hux and the First Order. Not only is it centered on the slowest space chase in sci-fi history, but subplots featuring Poe, Finn (John Boyega), and Rose (newcomer Kelly Marie Tran) go absolutely nowhere. Sure we get introduced to DJ (Benicio Del Toro) and Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern), but it’s with actions that fail to connect either through sheer stupidity or the simple truth that their absence wouldn’t change the story in the slightest. They’re obvious filler, and as is the Disney way (witness their Marvel films) the studio’s never met a character that couldn’t be jammed into a movie for no reason other than the misguided belief that more is better. Finn and Rose’s adventure in particular offers some additional action beats and a visit to a casino — think the Mos Eisley Cantina scene from Star Wars, but for the 1% — but it is meaningless noise.

Rob Hunter, Film School Rejects - Fresh

Meanwhile, what feels too much like the “B plot” side adventure has Finn and Rose on a mission that takes them into another film entirely, a sort of intergalactic James Bond-meets-Free Willy. It’s hard not to feel that their entire subplot could be axed in order to make The Last Jedi stronger and tighter, which is unfortunate.

Kaila Hale-Stern, The Mary Sue - Fresh

There is a whole section that feels out of kilter and harks back to the CGI naffness of the prequels — and is also virtually pointless to the plot.

Jamie East, The Sun (UK) - Fresh

The film’s epic 150-minute runtime allows plenty of room for Johnson’s inventiveness, but there’s also a tiny bit of fat in the middle of the movie, specifically in the Canto Bight scenes with Finn and Rose. The casino city itself is gorgeous and has some crazy-cool characters, plus Finn and Rose’s presence there shines a light on some new, worthwhile themes for the Star Wars franchise. However, in terms of the overall story, the whole escapade feels a little pointless and small. It doesn’t help that Benicio del Toro’s new character, DJ, who is part of the same storyline, is largely insignificant.

Germain Lussier, io9.com - Fresh

Star Wars: The Last Jedi does have a clear weak spot -- specifically the side plot that develops between Finn (John Boyega) and newly-introduced Resistance member Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran). Following a genuinely funny meet-up between the two characters, they are given their own special mission searching for a codebreaker who can assist in the battle against the First Order. But this storyline never feels particularly inspired or impactful as everything else going down in the movie. While it is constructed to fit with the larger themes of the film, features its own interesting expectation-flipping turns, and does eventually have a key impact on the macro scale, it's also the only part of the feature that ever feels expendable, and not helping anything is that it features the weakest visual effects of the blockbuster (especially during a second-act chase sequence).

Eric Eisenberg, CinemaBlend - Fresh

Finn and Rose’s mission takes them to Canto Bight, a kind of Monte Carlo peopled by extras from Babylon 5, and feels like it is just ticking the Weird Alien Bar box started by the Cantina. A ride on space horses also feels like a needless diversion, as does Benicio Del Toro’s space rogue, whose strange, laconic presence never really makes its mark.

Ian Freer, Empire Magazine - Fresh

It’s a shame, then, that the righteousness of Finn and Rose’s place in the film is undermined slightly by the limpness of their mission. Perhaps feeling there had to be some kind of Mos Eisley–esque sequence in the film, Johnson sends the pair to a casino city full of all kinds of creatures. It’s fun, sure, but the whole operation ultimately turns out to be a red herring. At least there’s some nice musing on liberation during this stretch, reminding us of the real stakes of this long story—freedom is, after all, what the Empire denies and the Rebel Alliance promises. And in a gorgeous third-act sequence—which includes the film’s true Empire Strikes Back homage—Finn and Rose finally get the emboldened moments they deserve. I just wish they fit more integrally into the central thesis of the film, that they were just as special, in their way, as Rey is, glinting with messianic power as she ascends.

Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair - Fresh

Of the three simultaneous plots, it’s Finn’s that sometimes drags down the energy, particularly with an introduction of a shady thief played by Benicio del Toro, the only new addition to the cast that doesn’t quite work; he seems to be acting in his own private movie, and it’s not as good as this one.

Will Leitch Paste Magazine - Fresh

Where the film struggles the most is on Canto Bight. Taken on her own, Rose isn’t a bad addition to the Star Wars mythos, and the movie definitely needs someone to play against Finn. Unfortunately, they lack the electric chemistry we saw between Finn and Rey in The Force Awakens, and their secret mission in a casino feels like it should be far more entertaining than it actually is.

Matt Goldberg, Collider - Fresh

Some action sequences are superfluous and unengaging. Benicio del Toro all but cameos as a sort of hobo hustler, while John Boyega’s Finn is sidelined, relegated to relatively inconsequential hi-jinx.

Alex Godfrey, GQ Magazine [UK] - Fresh

Finn (John Boyega) and newcomer Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) attempt an espionage mission that takes them to what is the Star Wars equivalent of the French Riviera. It’s a casino city named Canto Bight, and their adventures here push the Rick’s Café sensibilities from the original Star Wars’ cantina sequence to their limit. Nevertheless, this entire subplot amounts to a whole lot of padding while the real tough and revelatory decisions are made on Ahch-To.

David Crow, Den of Geek - Fresh

Plot-wise, I felt the entire side story at the casino world of Canto Bight was unnecessary. If you cut the entire sequence out of the film, it would have little impact on the core narrative.

Scott Chitwood ComingSoon.net - Fresh

Finn (John Boyega) wakes up, meets a admiring fan down in maintenance named Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran) and they head off on their own adventure, a detour that somehow combines the louche slickness of Cloud City and moralizing at its most Disney.

Joe Gross, Austin American-Statesman - Fresh

But The Last Jedi’s two-and-half-hour sprawl still includes an awful lot of clunky, derivative, and largely unnecessary incidents to wade through in order to get to its maverick last act. This is especially true when it comes to the plausibility-straining mission of stormtrooper turned Rebel Alliance fighter Finn (John Boyega) and puckish series newcomer Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran).

Sam C. Mac, Slant Magazine - Rotten

There are a couple of big names that fail to deliver much aside from, perhaps, realizing their childhood dreams of being in a “Star Wars” movie. A trip to a city that might as well be called Space Macau also fails to pay many dividends.

Christopher Lawrence, Las Vegas Review-Journal - Fresh

Case in point is the plot involving Finn (John Boyega) and new hero Rose's (Kelly Marie Tran) McGuffinesque mission to Canto Bight, which is of the ashtray-on-a-speederbike variety, and takes away from the tension cranked up elsewhere.

Harry Guerin, RTÉ (Ireland) - Fresh

The remaining 20% is made up of two different locales, one of which is entirely superfluous to the story. Essentially, there is a subplot that introduces Benicio del Toro’s mysterious work of eccentricity, except it doesn’t really do much of interest with him. Admittedly, it feels as if the character could be destined for bigger things in the final chapter, but I can only go off of what I watched, and well, the middle portion of The Last Jedi is stuck in the furthest setting from lightspeed. The journey expands to a space-Vegas full of various alien life forms and inhabitants, but it’s not as visually striking as previously explored planets. Additionally, by design, there seems to be filler injected simply because the other characters need things to do while Rey accomplishes what she needs to with Luke.

Robert Kojder, Flickering Myth - Fresh

The scenes on Canto Bight seemed like an unnecessary divert for Rose (a new character I actually really like) and Finn. This “casino planet” was like a scene right out of a low-budget Sy-Fy channel movie shot in Vancouver. It felt too familiar and earthbound to be a scene in an other-worldly scene in a Star Wars movie. The Rose/Finn alien horse race through the casino that ruined the galactic one-percenters good time and did some property damage was just ridiculous and should have been cut. Rose and Finn flopping around on the alien horse just looked like a bad theme park ride.

Chris Gore, Film Threat - Fresh

There’s a lengthy diversion to the casino planet of Canto Bight that feels pointless and tacked on just for the sake of giving us a cool new corner of the galaxy to feast our eyes on.

Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly - Fresh
And that's it for Part II. Happy Holidays to all my fellow fans and miners! Next week I will conclude with Part III, which will cover- well, let's just say it's the longest of this series by far. Heh.

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Mission Australia Financial And Gambling Counselling Service in Wollongong, 2500, offers the following services - Problem gambling counselling service. Menu Healthdirect Free Australian health advice you can count on. Mission Australia offers services for people who are experiencing difficulties with managing their finances appropriately, including people affected by problem gambling. While most Australians who gamble do so responsibly and within their means, thousands develop habits that cause harm to themselves, their families and even their communities. The Mission Australia Aboriginal Gambling Help Program runs SMART Recovery groups, equipping participants with self-management tools to manage or abstain from addictions. While the groups focus on gambling help, they can also be helpful for people experiencing other addictions or mental health challenges. Gambling counselling. We see the immense hardship faced by people and families affected by problem gambling. If you’re considering taking that first courageous step out of problem gambling, we are here to help you on your journey. Call us on 1300 827 638. Our Gambling Help service provides counselling, support and information to individuals who are negatively affected by gambling. We offer free and confidential services in Far North Queensland and the Wide Bay-Burnett Region. View Mariette Ennik's business profile as Gambling Help Counsellor at Mission Australia. Find contact's direct phone number, email address, work history, and more. Gambling Help Online provides free support for anyone affected by gambling in Australia. Chat counselling, email support and self-help services are available 24/7. Mission Australia's specialist Gambling Counselling Service in Campbelltown provides free, confidential, non-judgmental counselling support for anyone concernd about their gambling, as well as partners, family and friends. This service has no limit on the number of sessions, and our counselling service includes face-to-face, telephone, groups, community information sessions and outreach services. An easy way for employers and their employees to help people in need, making pre-tax donations automatically through their pay. Pray. Support us through prayer with our weekly diary allowing you to pray for a different Mission Australia service each week. Mission Australia also have a Aboriginal Gambling Counsellor for Aboriginal peoples and communities experiencing problem gambling. Quick Facts About The Region Mission Australia Gambling Help is located in the suburb of Wagga Wagga , the council of Wagga Wagga and the federal electorate of Riverina .

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IF1: What if Felipe Massa won the 2008 World Drivers Championship?