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The James Bond Franchise Wrap Up
Greetings all! Many thanks to the countless people who contributed to 10 months of fantastic discussions about one of the most iconic (and one of my favorite) film franchises of all time. This is just a little recap/debrief/wrap up article where I'd love to get everyone's thoughts on the series as a whole. Additionally, I've done some more ranking and list making because it's fun and, let's be honest, there just aren't enough lists in the world! So let's open the discussion up and air out any final thoughts on the ongoing adventures of 007 & Co. Fair warning, I will use spoiler tags throughout my article for those of you who might not yet have seen Spectre, however be mindful of the comments. Ranking the Movies First thing's first. Here are all of my reviews and their assigned objective rankings.
For a fun little experiment, I wanted to see how I ranked them in comparison to other "Rank the Bond Film" lists. My sources included Rotten Tomatoes (based on their freshness rankings), IMDb (based on their user scores), Peter Travers (Rolling Stone), Forbes, Timeout New York, E! Online, Moviefone, AMC Filmsite, BuzzFeed, an /JamesBond thread, and MRQE. Here are the results. First, I've organized them by release date and shown what their scores are on the various websites. Second, I figured out the average score for each film with the highest and lowest score for each film thrown out to eliminate outliers (my scores are not included in this calculation) as well as determine the standard deviation for each film (i.e., how consistently each film was ranked). Finally, here is a visualization of how each site ranked the films. Some observations: • No real surprises in the rankings. Casino Royale, Goldfinger, From Russia, and Skyfall all nabbed top spots. The World is Not Enough, Moonraker, and A View to a Kill took the dubious honor of bottom feeders. • Skyfall was the most consistently ranked film (averaging spot #4 on most lists). License to Kill was the most inconsistently ranked film. No surprise either. Dalton's films split opinions upon release and have aged just well enough to be considered decent but still stand out in such a way as to turn some viewers off entirely. Without it's highest (3) and lowest (22) scores, LTK still ranked as high as 8 and as low as 22. So it was either a top-10 film or the second-worst. • I still just don't get the hate for The World is Not Enough. Truth be told, this was the one film that actually inspired me to do all of this. I saw one or two lists that had it ranked so low. I had to see if there was anyone that agreed with me that it is actually a top 10 Bond film. Turns out there isn't. In fact, the closet I got was Moviefone who ranked it as #13. • I don't know what Forbes is smoking. There is no way that For Your Eyes Only is the second greatest Bond film of all time. Lunacy. Similarly, I am shocked at Peter Travers' ranking for GoldenEye at 18 -- especially considering he then put Die Another Day at 10!! • And speaking of DAD, I was legitimately surprised that it was generally considered to be a more middling film, rather than a universally hated one. • This only confirms my belief that the Bond movies are some of the most divisive films of all time. This must surely be due to a variety of factors, not least of which is that a film series that spans 50+ years and that varies so greatly in tone from film to film will allow for people to have wildly diverse opinions of each era of film. It can all depend on which films they saw first or which ones they grew up with. I mean that sounds obvious, but just look at how much deviation there is from list to list. I mean no film came even close to receiving unanimous rankings across any of these platforms -- even Skyfall varied from 1 to 6. Ranking the Songs I also decided to take a look at one of the most fun aspects of the 007 franchise: the theme songs. I will be very up front about the fact that I am not a musician, I know nothing about musical theory, etc. I am just a layman, listening to these songs a few times over and making my general observations. Oh and it's worth noting that I did not include Dr. No on this list. The opening titles begin with the standard Bond Theme song, which since it was adopted into every other film I didn't feel like that really counted, and then transitions into a rendition of Three Blind Mice, which also doesn't count.
Overly synth-y. Just another sappy love ballad. I just don't understand how this kind of songs was thought to be a spectacular start to a Bond film. Ugh.
Sounds like something you'd hear at 3am in a piano bar. Not sure what it's doing in a Bond film. Can't stand the vocals. At least this song has a decent band swell that picks it up a bit. The gentle cymbal tapping just reinforces the late night smooth jazz vibe.
Starts small, stays small, never builds. Bassey's vocals are totally wasted here. She has the ability to be fierce and biting. Here, she's lackadaisical and boring.
Starts strong with tense strings and immediately dive bombs the second Madonna's disgustingly auto-tuned vocals kick in. Terrible lyrics ("Sigmund Freud" wtf?). A pandering piece of overproduced bubblegum crap.
So disappointing. Following such a strong entry in Skyfall, the producers completely dropped the ball with Smith's "Writing." His vocals don't remotely fit with the tone of a proper Bond song. Cannot stand his breathy, whiny chorus. Ugh.
If you can't tell, I'm not a huge fan of '80s music, so the heavy presence of synths in this song are tough for me to swallow, but at least this song has some life! Especially following the era of the lousy love ballads, AVTAK was a breath of fresh air. As a song by itself, not bad. As a Bond song, not the greatest.
Another entry just dripping in '80s production. Still, it's got lots of energy. It's got some great builds and uses some awesome big band/brass elements that are reminiscent of the classic Bond songs.
Love Knight's vocals. She's got a great classic Bond feel. Love the intro. It feels sleuth-y, epic. Could definitely do without those breathy backup singers.
Great song. Terrible Bond song. McCartney is second to none, don't get me wrong. This song just isn't a great fit for the series. The reason it's not lower is that is has lots of promise until the 1:22 mark. And that damn fishing reel SFX is just so damn weird… Picks back up again, however it falters again at the 1:51 mark. The good aspects of this song are great. The bad are real bad.
I'm rather conflicted about this one. It has a great exotic feel, it's got a good crooner, and the lyrics match the globetrotting feel. I just feel that there are stronger entries that offer a bit more energy.
Hard to judge this one. Great piece of rock but again, I don't know if it really feels like a true "Bond song". At least it never devolves into a weird place like Live and Let Die. This one gets major props for incorporating the Bond theme heavily throughout and having a decent set of lyrics.
I know I'm probably going to get some hate for this one, but hear me out. Great use of electric guitar and big brass band. The lyrics are rightfully criticized for being way too literal and silly (and the chorus is very weak) but Lulu's vocals are wonderfully dry, yet full of character. I especially love the swell at 1:38.
Another entry that might get some criticism for being this high, but I truly feel that with one minor tweak, this song could have been considered one of the best. I love the piano and crunchy guitar intro. What I don't like is the duet. If this had been a Keys solo (with White handling the instrumentals), this could have been even stronger. I also really love the lyrics' discussion of paranoia and mistrust.
Another very strong entry. Shirley Manson's vocals are incredibly sultry. I positively love how striking the twanging guitar chords cut right through this hazy song.
Take note Matt Monroe, this is how to croon during a Bond song. The song kicks in with a great use of the Bond theme at 0:35. The lyrics are total nonsense, however it all comes together and sounds so excellent. Jones' killer note at the end of the song is spectacular.
This was a huge surprise for me. As I went through these songs, I never would have thought of putting TND this high, but listening to it, I can't get enough. Throws everything in from the thundering opening, to the big drums, the bell, the jangling guitar, and the piano. Crows vocals are positively electric. Her performance is every bit sultry, sexy, and scorned. Excellent!
Forget the movie, I could just listen to this song for 2 hours instead. The opening notes are mysterious, the big band is perfect (with plenty of classic Bond brass). The drop at the 1:21 mark is fantastic. And of course, Bassey's vocals are as iconic as they get.
Okay so this one isn't really a theme song in the sense that these other songs were but how could I pass on it? This is perhaps one of the single greatest musical compositions of the series outside of the Bond Theme. The buzzing guitar and deep, thumping bass are totally badass.
Almost perfect. Sexy, mysterious, lurking, with excellent vocals and brilliant lyrics. Little moments like the Bond theme slinking in at 1:40 are just perfect.
I absolutely, positively adore the chilling piano intro. Adele's vocals are exquisite. I love the slow, warbling guitar (1:00), the somber strings, the huge builds, and the use of the brassy Bond theme at 1:51. The whole thing gives me chills, especially as it starts and ends on that beautiful brass note.
Surprise, surprise. It just simply does not get better than Goldfinger. This is the quintessential Bond song, the standard to which all other songs are held. The big brass band, the strings, and the vocals are all just a bit silly, just a bit sexy, totally iconic, and catchy as all hell.
Ranking the Villains I came up with a little system for ranking the Bond villains. I determined that a good villain should have a proper plan, should be generally villainous (cruel, mad, etc.), intimidating, competent, and charismatic (or at least have a decent, definable personality). Regarding one of the series’ few recurring villains, I elected to rank Blofeld several times, one for each appearance in a different film. With that in mind, here are the Bottom 5 and Top 5 Bond villains. The full list including the scores for each category can be found here (Spectre spoilers in slot #21). Worst Bond Villains
Rank
Villain
Film
Plot
Comments
27
Gustav Graves / Col. Moon
Die Another Day
Destroy S. Korea via space laser
Written as if a 12 year old came up with a Bond villain. Terrible plan, never truly intimidating, and the whole DNA replacement and "I modeled him after you" bit is completely stupid.
26
Aristotle Kristatos
For Your Eyes Only
Retrieve the ATAC device in order to control Soviet missiles, trick 007 into assassinating Colombo
Bland, boring, forgettable.
25
Brad Whitaker
The Living Daylights
Sell opium as a means to finance his arms trading
I applaud the realism of his plot, however the character is just so damned annoying. Baker plays the American General as a complete buffoon. And the whole wargame angle is weird.
24
General Orlov
Octopussy
Destroy NATO relations by detonating a bomb in a foreign Air Force base
Another fairly forgettable character. Berkoff portrays the General as an almost Dr. Strangelove-esque wacko.
23
Ernst Stavro Blofeld
Diamonds Are Forever
Destroy nations' nuclear missiles with a space laser if they refuse to give in to his ransom demands
The weakest of all of Blofeld’s various plots. Mostly, this iteration is ranked so low on account of Charles Grey’s portrayal. He’s insufferable, lacks any real intimidation, and the whole army of clones and voice changing devices are all just too campy for my taste.
Best Bond Villains
Rank
Villain
Film
Plot
Comments
5
Ernst Stavro Blofeld
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Brainwash women (Angels of Death) and use them as pawns in bacterialogical warfare
Okay so the plan is a little bizarre and Savalas’ portrayal might not be as iconic as the one in YOLT, however this is Blofeld at his peak. He is menacing, sinister, and intimidating. The whole lineage angle is unique and gives a little bit of humanity to what has been an otherwise flat character.
4
Alex Trevelyan (Agent 006)
GoldenEye
Exact revenge on England by robbing the national bank just before destroying digital records (via electromagnetic pulse from satellite)
Sean Bean performs beautifully as the MI6-agent-gone-rogue. His revenge mission plot is a wonderful balance of maniacal, villainous, and realistic.
3
Auric Goldfinger
Goldfinger
Devalue US gold stock by detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox gold reserve
Bond himself remarks how brilliant Goldfinger’s plan is upon hearing it. I’m going to refrain from making any “gold standard” jokes, but Goldfinger is seriously one of the best. Cunning, proud, coy, greedy, and downright evil.
2
Le Chiffre
Casino Royale
Make money by shorting airline stocks through planned terrorist attacks
Le Chiffre is one of the most fascinating villains in that he is a man driven by desperation and fear more than a god complex or a desire to destroy humanity.
1
Francisco Scaramanga
The Man with the Golden Gun
Steal solex agitator, assassinate 007
Christopher Lee’s Scaramanga is the perfect blend of flamboyant charisma, fierce intellect, and pure skill. The dinner scene between Scaramanga and Bond remains one of my all time favorites.
Honorable mentions go to Skyfall’s freakishly relentless Raoul Silva, Spy Who Loved Me’s megalomaniac Karl Stromberg, World is Not Enough’s coldly calculating Elektra King, Dr. No’s Dr. No for setting the template, and Moonraker’s surprisingly enjoyable Hugo Drax. Ranking the Bond Girls I came up with a similar method of ranking one of the other pillars of any good 007 film: the Bond Girls. For this category, I rated each Bond Girl by their intellect (general intelligence), competence (how skillful they were at their profession or tasks), initiative (do they just sit around and wait for Bond to tell them what to do or not), utility (do they have a direct impact on the story or are they just sort of there for show), and (yes I am aware of the hypocrisy here) beauty. This was a somewhat difficult list to assess, as the concept of a Bond Girl is rather loose. For example, in Skyfall, Bond seduces Severine, however she is in the film for such a brief period of time and her impact on the story is so minimal, that it didn’t even seem right to try and rank her based on these categories. Then of course there are any number of throwaway characters that Bond simply sleeps with or converses with briefly that are occasionally viewed as “Bond Girls”. Think of the iconic gilded Jill Masterson from Goldfinger. You might be aghast that she isn’t on the list, but she is such a small portion of that film (especially compared to her sister, Tilly), that it didn’t even seem worth it to place her on here, despite her image being plastered on every piece of promotional material for Goldfinger. So this is my best attempt at determining who is a Bond Girl and how they rank. The full list including category rankings can be found here. Worst Bond Girls
Rank
Girl
Film
Comments
33
Rosie Carver
Live and Let Die
Perhaps the most miserable character in the series. I couldn’t help but give her the only 0 of this entire exercise for Competence. She whines and cries to a man she just met because she isn't a good CIA agent. She’s not useful, not talented, and utterly annoying. And the one time she finally acts proactively, she is condescendingly mocked for misreading Quarrel Jr.’s allegiance.
32
Mary Goodnight
The Man with the Golden Gun
Vapid, irritating, pathetic, almost entirely useless. She’s easily captured and even chastised for her one contribution: killing a guard. And of course there’s the infamous scene in which any dignity she might’ve had evaporates as she’s shoved in a closet while Bond and Andrea Anders have sex.
31
Tiffany Case
Diamonds Are Forever
Another worthless character who adds little to the plot. She is given a rare instance of initiative at the end of the film and it turns out that in doing so, she completely screws up Bond’s plan. Oh also, her dialogue is completely insufferable.
30
“Dr.” Christmas Jones
The World is Not Enough
Another character written to be skilled and intelligent, but portrayed by a woman who cannot convincingly pull off either. Her role in the film becomes little more than a tagalong with weak excuses being provided for why she’s still around. She also turns into the second instance of Bond’s magical ability to turn lesbians straight.
29
Stacey Sutton
A View to a Kill
Same deal as Jones, the character is written to be intelligent, but the actress doesn't sell it one bit. She tends to fail at everything she attempts, and Bond completely disregards her and forces her to become a damsel in distress throughout their time together. She becomes a complete tagalong after a while.
Best Bond Girls
Rank
Girl
Film
Comments
5
Elektra King
The World is Not Enough
Cunning, fierce, intelligent (though blinded by rage), she is absolutely integral to the plot, her actions are her own and she even acts as the puppetmaster for a wide range of people.
4
Camille Montes
Quantum of Solace
Not necessarily particularly intelligent per se, but highly skilled and motivated by her well formed backstory. QoS actually provides a rare instance of Bond screwing up her plans, though she bounds back quickly. Extra points for killing one of the film’s villains.
3
Pussy Galore
Goldfinger
The biggest downfall for Galore is her lack of integrity during the scene in which Bond apparently rapes her straight. Aside from that terrible scene, she is a fantastic character. She gets the drop on Bond multiple times, verbally spars with the best of them, and orchestrates a hugely important aspect of the film’s ending.
2
Teresa di Vicenzo
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
It pains me not to be able to give her a perfect score, however she does have her downfalls. She really ultimately is just sort of going along with her father’s plans and when she’s captured, she reverts into a fairly standard damsel in distress. Aside from that though, her beauty and intelligence are almost without parallel.
1
Vesper Lynd
Casino Royale
The only character in this whole exercise to receive a perfect score. The single most well-rounded character of the entire series. Highly intelligent, witty, sharp, sly, plays her own game, acts of her own accord with her own motivations, integral to the plot — oh and stunningly gorgeous.
Honorable mentions go to Spy Who Loves Me’s crafty and skilled Anya Amasova, Die Another Day’s coldly independent Miranda Frost, You Only Twice’s Aki who saves Bond’s butt on more than one occasion, Tomorrow Never Die’s devil may care Wai Lin, and License to Kill’s rough and rowdy Pam Bouvier. Ranking the Bonds And of course there’s the ranking of the Bond actors. Everyone has an opinion that varies greatly from the last. Heck, I’ve already changes my mind three times as I’ve sat here writing this. Each actor is so wildly different and they all come from such unique times that it’s almost impossible to try and fairly compare them. And then of course there’s the struggle of trying to give each actor a fair shake when their films have varied so greatly in quality and number. But I will try to do my best.
Rank
Actor
Films
Years Active
Comments
6
Roger Moore
7
1973 - 1985
Easily the worst in my opinion. I never bought him as an assassin. I never bought him as a seductive gentleman. His humor was mostly lost on me. When they tried to get him to be rough and tumble in TMWTGG when he’s interrogating Anders, he just seems abusive. He also had the worst string of films to deal with and was kept on as Bond for far too long. Too few upsides.
5
George Lazenby
1
1969
This ranking is really misleading, as I actually LOVED Lazenby as Bond. I felt that he completely captured the crass attitude and unbridled swagger. I would frankly consider putting him as high as #3, however Lazenby’s biggest downfall is his lack of clout. He just wasn’t Bond long enough to get a decent gauge of how he really fit into Bond’s shoes.
4
Sean Connery
6
1962 - 1967, 1971
Blasphemy! Just because he was first doesn’t mean he was the best. He laid the groundwork and managed the suave nature and action better than some, however his characters never really felt like they had any depth to them. Mostly he is severely handicapped by his lackluster performances in YOLT and DAF.
3
Timothy Dalton
2
1987 - 1989
Ah Dalton, the Bond we needed but didn’t deserve. Dalton’s career was similarly too short. I considered giving him the #4 spot under Connery for this purpose alone, but I really feel like he did enough in his two films to establish what kind of Bond he was and would have continued to be. The dark, brooding exterior occasionally gave in to flashes of real charm and even caring. The humor could have used some work, but the action and especially the suave, high-class nature fit him perfectly.
2
Daniel Craig
4
2006 - present
Craig’s performance in Casino alone would have been enough to push him into first place, however he’s had kind of a bizarre run of films since then. The stories have set him up to just be continually cantankerous and sullen. I have him in the #2 spot temporarily, depending on how the rest of his run as Bond goes. If he is able to do more films and is able to continue to regain his wit from Casino and to continue his arc from brutish thug to refined gentleman assassin, I feel the #2 or even #1 spot could be his.
1
Pierce Brosnan
4
1995 - 2002
It was equally difficult to call Brosnan the unequivocal best. His run is sadly marred by a series of mediocre and downright bad films. That said, his performance in GoldenEye is probably one of the best in the series. Brosnan is able to pull off every aspect of what makes Bond Bond with ease. He nails the humor, he looks like he belongs in a tux, and he appears entirely at ease when in the midst of a tense shootout or car chase. He even totally sells a few small moments throughout the series that required him to appear frightened, surprised, and vulnerable.
Naturally there is so much more I could discuss (favorite gadgets, favorite moments, favorite henchmen), but I suppose I should save something for the lead up to Bond 25, eh? A sincere thanks once more to everyone who joined me for the discussions over the past several months. Cheers!
What's happening around town (Wed, Jan 24th - Tue, Jan 30th)
Oklahoma City's event list.
Ongoing
SHIFT(Factory Obscura - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Feb 25th Join the creatives behind the OKC art collective Factory Obscura for a fully-immersive, experiential art…
Wednesday, Jan 24th
♪ Anthem Drown Night!(HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
Bi-Weekly Meetup(51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm
Devon Ice Rink(Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th The Devon Ice Rink returns for its seventh season in the Myriad Botanical Gardens this November through the end of…
Downtown in December(Downtown - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th Spend your holidays experiencing fun activities as downtown Oklahoma City is turned into a winter wonderland during the…
A Kaleidoscope of the West(Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Don Reeves, McCasland Chair of Cowboy Culture, concludes his 38 years of Museum service with a talk years in the making. The West can be conceptualized as a beautiful harmony. The individual notes and melodies, like points of light, form a colorful kaleidoscope that is Western Heritage — a heritage influenced by the National Cowboy Museum.…
😂 Lenny Schmidt(Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jan 27th
🎭 Margo Price | OKC(Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) Margo Price Wed - Jan 24 at ACM@UCO Performance Lab NOWHERE FAST TOUR Ticket Link:http://bit.ly/MargoOKC Charge by phone @ 866.966.1777 online @ TicketStorm.com Doors open at 7pm All Ages Welcome
OU Sooners vs Kansas Jayhawks(The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Day 2 of 2 Experience the action and excitement in Norman as the Oklahoma Sooners take on the Kansas Jayhawks. Since the team's…
Parents Supporting Parents(Mental Health Association Oklahoma main office - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm This group is for caretakers and parents who are supporting an individual managing the complications often associated with having a pervasive development disorder such as autism or aspergers disorder. This group will also provide education and support to those parents who have loved ones with diagnosed or undiagnosed mental, emotional,…
Samantha Fish(VZD's - Oklahoma City) Whether one leans towards the blues, opts for Americana or ignites some special fervour by playing with a garage band, there's a common bond that suggests a reverence for the roots. Looking back towards an earlier template -- no matter what the genre -- proves the point that appreciating what came before can be a stepping stone for what comes…
♪ There Will Be Blood(Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm This is a General Admission seating screening. This film is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. NOTE: This is a movie screening and NOT a live performance event. With fees tickets are $10
Wednesday Game Night(Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Play the games you love for jackpots and then play more games you love for Extra Cash & Prizes on Game Night at Remington Park, every Wednesday! Starting at 6pm on Wednesday nights at Remington Park, just make sure to use your Club Remington Card as you play in the casino. Doing so may get you selected via hot seat drawings to make Free Spins,…
Thursday, Jan 25th
🎓 Ages of the Moon-Sam Shepard(Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jan 27th Start Time: 7:30pm Shepard Comedy-Drama Opens the New Year at Carpenter Square Carpenter Square Theatre opens the New Year with “Ages of the Moon,” one of the last plays penned by Sam Shepard before his death in 2017. The comedy-drama about two old friends plays January 12-27, 2018. The title comes from the setting: The night of a lunar eclipse. All…
🎨 Curator's Tour of The Question of Beauty(Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Explore the exhibition "The Question of Beauty" with its curator, Francesca Giani. Through selections of modern and contemporary art from the permanent collection, the exhibition investigates how artists used, ignored, or rejected beauty as mode of expression. Tours are free for members and $5 for non-members (includes admission to galleries).…
Devon Ice Rink(Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th The Devon Ice Rink returns for its seventh season in the Myriad Botanical Gardens this November through the end of…
Downtown in December(Downtown - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th Spend your holidays experiencing fun activities as downtown Oklahoma City is turned into a winter wonderland during the…
♪ Exhibition Opening Lecture & Reception(Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Generations in Modern Pueblo Painting: The Art of Tonita Peña and Joe Herrera opens with a complimentary public lecture by exhibition curator W. Jackson Rushing III, the Eugene B. Adkins Presidential Professor of Art History and Mary Lou Milner Carver Chair in Native American Art, OU School of Visual Arts. Following the lecture, join us for…
The Kirbas Institute Dinner Event(Oklahoma History Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm 6:00 PM Reception 7:00 PM Dinner and Program Featuring CNN John Sutter, recently nominated for the Emmy Award for his special series "2 Degrees." to get your tickets, visit www.kirbasinstitute.org
😂 Lenny Schmidt(Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jan 27th
♪ Looking For Something?(The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Jan 27th Start Time: 8:00pm Alan Doyle chalks up a lot of where is he right now-with both his third solo album and his second book released in October 2017-to luck. "I'm the luckiest guy I've ever even heard of," he says. "This was all I ever wanted, a life in the music business, singing concerts. I was lucky to be born in the family I was, in Petty Harbour. I was lucky…
Meditation Class(St Stephen's United Methodist - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Weekly meditation and discussion group conducted by the monks from Oklahoma Buddhist Vihara. St. Stephens UMC 6-7pm Look for the shoes.
🎡 MIss Latina UCO Informational(University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 6:30pm Interested in learning more about your culture? Want to be a part of UCO Royalty? Want a chance to win a scholarship? Come to the Pageant Informational on January 25th at 6:30 pm to find our more about our pageant process! Our pageant director Luci Perez and reigning Miss Latina UCO 2017-2018, Marylin Segura-Morales will be there. This is a…
🎓 Postcards From The Universe I: Historic Star Atlas Stories(Sam Noble Museum - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm This is the first lecture in a FREE monthly public lecture series on astronomical topics organized by the astronomers at the University of Oklahoma. Telescope viewing will be available on the Buffalo Walk outside of the museum following each lecture, weather permitting.
🏆 RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Watch Party(The Boom - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us every Thursday starting on January 25th for our RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 3 Watch Party in the front bar! Enjoy your favorite adult beverage and order something from our menu while you watch to see who will become America's next Drag Superstar! Free admission! (Note: The Boom is 21 and up to enter and proper ID is required.)
Teen Poetry Slam(Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 6:00pm Bring in your worst or Best poetry and let the crowd decide your fate! Basic Rules are:
Each poem must be of the poet’s own construction;
2. Each poet gets three minutes (plus a ten-second grace period) to read one poem. If the poet goes over time, points will be deducted from the total score. 3. The poet may not use props, costumes or…
🏆 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Washington Wizards(Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Experience the thrill of fast-paced pro basketball as the Oklahoma City Thunder take on the Washington Wizards. Wear…
Friday, Jan 26th
🎓 Ages of the Moon-Sam Shepard(Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 7:30pm Shepard Comedy-Drama Opens the New Year at Carpenter Square Carpenter Square Theatre opens the New Year with “Ages of the Moon,” one of the last plays penned by Sam Shepard before his death in 2017. The comedy-drama about two old friends plays January 12-27, 2018. The title comes from the setting: The night of a lunar eclipse. All…
♪ The Big News(VZD's - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm The Big News keeps coming back to VZD's to blow the roof off! We love these guys. Flip and the combined effort will be opening up the evening. Prepare your earholes for pleasuring. Get your Ticket via ticketstorm and save some $$$. Doors @ 8pm $5 online $10 at the door
Oklahoma City Boat Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th The Oklahoma City Boat Show is the longest running boat show at the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. Featuring the…
🎓 Central Close Up(University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00am 8:00 AM to 2:00 PM - Nigh University Center Constitution Hall: This day is specifically designed for high school senior students & their parents. On the day of the event, guests will take a campus tour, attend academic sessions, meet current UCO students, and have an opportunity to participate in fast track admission. Central Close Up is held on…
🎭 Crazy For You(ArtWorks Academy of Performing Arts - Norman) Day 1 of 2 ArtWorks Academy Presents CRAZY FOR YOU Friday, January 26 at 7:00 pm Saturday, January 27 at 2:00 pm Saturday, January 27 at 7:00 pm Sunday, January 28 at 3:00 pm Performances will be held at Randall University (formerly Hillsdale College) in Moore, OK, which is located at 3701 S. Frontage Rd. This production features students 7th-12th grade.…
Devon Ice Rink(Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th The Devon Ice Rink returns for its seventh season in the Myriad Botanical Gardens this November through the end of…
Downtown in December(Downtown - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 28th Spend your holidays experiencing fun activities as downtown Oklahoma City is turned into a winter wonderland during the…
♪ Funny AF Friday Comedy Show(ICE Event Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm Funny AF Fridays is the weekly comedy show that features celebrity comedians and provides a platform for local comedians to get their shine. If you are interested in getting your "5 min" of comedy, contact Marc Flemon at 4052084240.
🎭 Glitter Ball :: Glam Rock | Presented by Dunlap Codding(Dunlap Codding - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Glitter Ball, the winter dance party and art extravaganza presented by Dunlap Codding and benefiting deadCenter Film, returns to historic Film Row on Friday, January 26. This year’s party features a Glam Rock theme with more music, dancing, and visual spectacle than ever before. “Dunlap Codding is thrilled to serve as presenting sponsor and…
Heroes & Villains(Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm The Oklahoma City Philharmonic are teaming up with Cirque Musica to present stunning acrobatics and great music. Heroes…
♪ International Trumpet Guild Regional Conference(Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am The first-ever International Trumpet Guild Regional Conference will be hosted by the Bass School of Music at Oklahoma City University and Prof. Michael Anderson on Friday and Saturday, Jan. 26-27. Complete schedule of events and registration info: http://trumpetguild.org/2018-itg-regional-schedule-of-events
🎭 Introduction to Swing Dance(Pioneer Library System - Moore) Start Time: 6:00pm Come join us for an evening of Swing Dance with 3Sixty Entertainment Powerhouse! Wear comfortable clothes and shoes and get ready for a night of dancing! The first hour of the program will go over the fundamentals of Swing Dance followed by a dance social in the last half hour. Participants must sign a waiver for the class, and anyone under 18…
Keller Williams(Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Dance your face off, and sing along when guitar virtuoso/singer-songwriter Keller Williams takes over the historic Tower…
😂 Lenny Schmidt(Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
♪ Looking For Something?(The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 8:00pm Alan Doyle chalks up a lot of where is he right now-with both his third solo album and his second book released in October 2017-to luck. "I'm the luckiest guy I've ever even heard of," he says. "This was all I ever wanted, a life in the music business, singing concerts. I was lucky to be born in the family I was, in Petty Harbour. I was lucky…
♪ My So Called Band!(The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Your favorite 90's rockers are back for their monthly Deli show! Arrive early to guarantee entry. 10pm 21+ $10
😂 OKC Improv(The Paramount OKC - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Oklahoma City's premier platform for improvised comedy theatre features weekly performances with shows Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm and 9:30pm. Performances will be held at The Paramount Theatre at 11 N. Lee Ave, OKC. Each show is $10 or see both for $15. Enjoy buy one get one ticket prices with your Keep It Local OK membership card, and free…
♪ OKC Jazz Orchestra with Soloist Vince DiMartino, Trumpet(Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Trumpeter Vince DiMartino will be featured guest artist with the 16-piece Oklahoma City Jazz Orchestra, co-hosted by our Distinguished Artists Series and the first-ever regional conference of the International Trumpet Guild. Honored with the Governor’s Lifetime Achievement Award by the state of Kentucky, he has been featured as lead and solo…
Saturday, Jan 27th
🎓 Ages of the Moon-Sam Shepard(Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 7:30pm Shepard Comedy-Drama Opens the New Year at Carpenter Square Carpenter Square Theatre opens the New Year with “Ages of the Moon,” one of the last plays penned by Sam Shepard before his death in 2017. The comedy-drama about two old friends plays January 12-27, 2018. The title comes from the setting: The night of a lunar eclipse. All…
Oklahoma City Boat Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) 1 day left The Oklahoma City Boat Show is the longest running boat show at the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. Featuring the…
♪ The Centennial Rodeo Opry(Rodeo Opry - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Adults - $15.00 Children 7 -12 years - $7.50 Children 6 years & younger - FREE *Military discount available at box office with military ID
Chris Tucker(Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Best-known for his co-starring role alongside Jackie Chan in "Rush Hour," Chris Tucker has continued…
🎭 Crazy For You(ArtWorks Academy of Performing Arts - Norman) Day 2 of 2 ArtWorks Academy Presents CRAZY FOR YOU Friday, January 26 at 7:00 pm Saturday, January 27 at 2:00 pm Saturday, January 27 at 7:00 pm Sunday, January 28 at 3:00 pm Performances will be held at Randall University (formerly Hillsdale College) in Moore, OK, which is located at 3701 S. Frontage Rd. This production features students 7th-12th grade.…
♪ Derek Harris(Noir Bistro & Bar - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm A blend of Blues, Rock, Soul, and Reggae, OKC's Derek Harris plays a mixed set of original songs and cover tunes from Bob Marley to Jimmy Hendrix. Enjoy dinner and craft cocktails from 5p to 10p, then chow down on BURGERS 'n' BRUNCH after 10p. No Cover and free parking! · Music · Free Admission · MyAdventureRoad
Devon Ice Rink(Oklahoma City) 1 day left The Devon Ice Rink returns for its seventh season in the Myriad Botanical Gardens this November through the end of…
Downtown in December(Downtown - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Spend your holidays experiencing fun activities as downtown Oklahoma City is turned into a winter wonderland during the…
Greater Oklahoma Survival Expo & Gun Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 For a high quality gun show with great prices and selection, visit the R.K. Gun Show in Oklahoma City. Held at Oklahoma…
Heroes & Villains(Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm The Oklahoma City Philharmonic are teaming up with Cirque Musica to present stunning acrobatics and great music. Heroes…
♪ Imaginary Hour with Abbigale Dawn(The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm The Deli is proud to start off 2018 with a new Saturday Happy Hour Show "Imaginary Hour" with your host Abbigale Dawn! Abbigale Dawn Music Abbigale is a fantastic local singesongwriter and will feature special musical guests weekly! The January line-up: Susan Herndon Jan 6th Ken Pomeroy Jan 13th Jade Castle Jan 20th Nellie Clay Jan 27th…
♪ International Trumpet Guild Regional Conference(Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am The first-ever International Trumpet Guild Regional Conference will be hosted by the Bass School of Music at Oklahoma City University and Prof. Michael Anderson on Friday and Saturday, Jan. 26-27. Complete schedule of events and registration info: http://trumpetguild.org/2018-itg-regional-schedule-of-events
Jonny Lang(Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) Blues musician Jonny Lang will add his signature blend of funk and soul to the Diamond Ballroom stage as he embarks on…
😂 Lenny Schmidt(Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
♪ Looking For Something?(The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 8:00pm Alan Doyle chalks up a lot of where is he right now-with both his third solo album and his second book released in October 2017-to luck. "I'm the luckiest guy I've ever even heard of," he says. "This was all I ever wanted, a life in the music business, singing concerts. I was lucky to be born in the family I was, in Petty Harbour. I was lucky…
😂 OKC Improv(The Paramount OKC - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 7:30pm Oklahoma City's premier platform for improvised comedy theatre features weekly performances with shows Friday and Saturday at 7:30pm and 9:30pm. Performances will be held at The Paramount Theatre at 11 N. Lee Ave, OKC. Each show is $10 or see both for $15. Enjoy buy one get one ticket prices with your Keep It Local OK membership card, and free…
🍴 A Perfect Finish(Boathouse District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us for the 7th annual "A Perfect Finish" to enjoy a night of wine & beer tasting, an auction, food and fun benefiting the OKC RIVERSPORT Junior Crew.
🎓 Plant Science(Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am We’ll delve into the (almost) magical properties of plants in this class as we perform experiments to discover how water moves in plants, how leaves eat, how sunflowers can stare at the sun and more. We’ll start by going over the basic needs of plants and then put our mad scientist hats on to figure out how smart plants are at getting what…
Prawn(89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Prawn with Caravela $10
Reckless Kelly(Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Come to the historic Tower Theatre in OKC and honky tonk the night away with Reckless Kelly. For nearly two…
Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 10:00am The Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show at Oklahoma State Fair Park in OKC features vendors with reptile pets,…
♪ Travis Linville(The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
Sunday, Jan 28th
Oklahoma City Boat Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Last Day The Oklahoma City Boat Show is the longest running boat show at the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. Featuring the…
🏃 Colder 5K(Stars & Stripes Park - Oklahoma City) Stars and Stripes Park is notorious for being fast and flat and a favorite among both runners and walkers. Part of the Frozen Nose Race Series!
Devon Ice Rink(Oklahoma City) Last Day The Devon Ice Rink returns for its seventh season in the Myriad Botanical Gardens this November through the end of…
Downtown in December(Downtown - Oklahoma City) Last Day Spend your holidays experiencing fun activities as downtown Oklahoma City is turned into a winter wonderland during the…
Greater Oklahoma Survival Expo & Gun Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 For a high quality gun show with great prices and selection, visit the R.K. Gun Show in Oklahoma City. Held at Oklahoma…
Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show(Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 10:00am The Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show at Oklahoma State Fair Park in OKC features vendors with reptile pets,…
🏆 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Philadelphia 76ers(Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm Experience the thrill of fast-paced pro basketball as the Oklahoma City Thunder take on the Philadelphia 76ers. Wear…
Monday, Jan 29th
Moscow Festival Ballet(Armstrong Auditorium - Edmond) Day 1 of 2 The Moscow Festival Ballet brings a stunning gala to the Armstrong Auditorium in Edmond. The first night's program…
Moscow Festival Ballet(Armstrong Auditorium - Edmond) Day 2 of 2 The Moscow Festival Ballet brings a stunning gala to the Armstrong Auditorium in Edmond. The first night's program…
OU Sooners vs Baylor Bears(The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Experience the action and excitement in Norman as the Oklahoma Sooners take on the Baylor Bears. Since the team's…
Propaganda in Concert(Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Don't miss an evening of inspirational hip-hop when LA's own Propaganda takes over OKC's historic Tower…
TobyMac et al.(Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) TobyMac is bringing his Hits Deep Tour to the Chesapeake Energy Arena in Oklahoma City. Get ready for a night of…
♪ TOBYMAC HITS DEEP TOUR(Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Any child who has had their 2nd birthday must have a ticket.
Going to Montreal for Bachelor Party Weekend...Man gift (w/photos) and fake tattoos for Hangover Prank on hand, still need help
Background Tomorrow, I (Woflpack-1; WP1) and a fellow groom's man (Wolfpack-2; WP2) will be taking the groom (Wolfpack-Prime; WP') for a bachelor party weekend in Montreal. He knows he's going away for a weekend but has NO IDEA where. We live in CT so it will take us about 6 hours to drive. WP' is a foreigner who has lived here for just a few years and may not know what Henna Tattoos are. WP2 is Fiance's brother. Misdirection Campaign: We've left plausible clues for him to guess incorrectly where we are going. For example: we told him to pack a bathing suit and hiking boots, because he's a very outdoorsy type of person. He thinks we might be going to a Maine/Vermont. Said we hope he likes Jambalaya and that he needs to bring something to do for 23 hours and 1 minute: Time it takes to drive from his house to New Orleans. It won't take long for him to realize we are going North so I took the liberty of going to AAA to pick up a map and tour book for the Maine/Vermont region and stuffing it in the back of the driver's seat where he will surely come across it. Surprises: I've used the idea previously posted on reddit to make him a "Man Gift". Basically: I bought a vintage Zero Halliburton case ($68), it has an aluminum construction with a very nice leather portfolio interior. I've lined it with foam and cut out shapes for various manly gifts:
3 cigars, zippo and cigar cutter
Playboy, Nat Geo and Life magazine from the Month/Year he was born. (Likes photography)
Leather bound journal (he likes to travel) + asked my mom (doctor) to find me a Viagra pen.
Tito's Vodka (Pretty good American made vodka)
Jack Daniels Flask w/ matching shot glasses and funnel
Guitar shaped ice cubes tray (he plays a lot of guitar)
Here are Photos of the package. Hangover Prank Having just seen the Hangover 2 along with WP''s fiance, she very specifically said to me "I don't care what you do, but please NO TATTOOS!" This gave me an idea:
Since WP' will be so drunk by the end of Friday night, and we are all sharing a hotel room, we bought a Henna tattoo kit which we intend apply on his neck or arm without waking him. \
His Fiance's name is "Lena", we want to make a tattoo that says "I <3 Tena"
WP1 * WP2 will also get a henna tattoo...but we need ideas.
WP2 is looking to get a fake nose ring to put on
WP1 will use his electric razor to poorly buzz cut my hair
We will apply gauze over the tattoos to make it that much more of a surprise. Maybe a note not to take it off till x:xx.
When he wakes up, and will likely remember most of the night (going to clubs, casino, etc) we will fake not remember anything after the casino and freak out that we all got tattoos and that my hair has been buzzed off. We will carry on this charade as long as we can. When he tries to wash off the Henna, it won't come off, should stay on a few weeks.
What's better? We will record every part of this including calling the fiance and letting her know we accidentally pulled a Hangover 3.
What I need from Reddit
Any advice on what to make tattoos of
Templates of those tattoos because neither of us are artistic
If I provide some photos of the Wolfpack, can you come up with some photoshopping magic to make it seem that we had a waaay crazier night than we did?
Finally, any advice as to what to do in Montreal this weekend [It happens to be a big weekend with 2 music festivals, a beer festival and the Montreal Grand Prix (which we have tickets for Sunday)]
Bachelor Party Hangover Prank + Ultimate Man-Gift > Need Reddit Magic (crosspost from ask)
Background Tomorrow, I (Woflpack-1; WP1) and a fellow groom's man (Wolfpack-2; WP2) will be taking the groom (Wolfpack-Prime; WP') for a bachelor party weekend in Montreal. He knows he's going away for a weekend but has NO IDEA where. We live in CT so it will take us about 6 hours to drive. WP' is a foreigner who has lived here for just a few years and may not know what Henna Tattoos are. WP2 is Fiance's brother. Misdirection Campaign: We've left plausible clues for him to guess incorrectly where we are going. For example: we told him to pack a bathing suit and hiking boots, because he's a very outdoorsy type of person. He thinks we might be going to a Maine/Vermont. Said we hope he likes Jambalaya and that he needs to bring something to do for 23 hours and 1 minute: Time it takes to drive from his house to New Orleans. It won't take long for him to realize we are going North so I took the liberty of going to AAA to pick up a map and tour book for the Maine/Vermont region and stuffing it in the back of the driver's seat where he will surely come across it. Surprises: I've used the idea previously posted on reddit to make him a "Man Gift". Basically: I bought a vintage Zero Halliburton case ($68), it has an aluminum construction with a very nice leather portfolio interior. I've lined it with foam and cut out shapes for various manly gifts:
3 cigars, zippo and cigar cutter
Playboy, Nat Geo and Life magazine from the Month/Year he was born. (Likes photography)
Leather bound journal (he likes to travel) + asked my mom (doctor) to find me a Viagra pen.
Tito's Vodka (Pretty good American made vodka)
Jack Daniels Flask w/ matching shot glasses and funnel
Guitar shaped ice cubes tray (he plays a lot of guitar)
Here are Photos of the package. Hangover Prank Having just seen the Hangover 2 along with WP''s fiance, she very specifically said to me "I don't care what you do, but please NO TATTOOS!" This gave me an idea:
Since WP' will be so drunk by the end of Friday night, and we are all sharing a hotel room, we bought a Henna tattoo kit which we intend apply on his neck or arm without waking him. \
His Fiance's name is "Lena", we want to make a tattoo that says "I <3 Tena"
WP1 * WP2 will also get a henna tattoo...but we need ideas.
WP2 is looking to get a fake nose ring to put on
WP1 will use his electric razor to poorly buzz cut my hair
We will apply gauze over the tattoos to make it that much more of a surprise. Maybe a note not to take it off till x:xx.
When he wakes up, and will likely remember most of the night (going to clubs, casino, etc) we will fake not remember anything after the casino and freak out that we all got tattoos and that my hair has been buzzed off. We will carry on this charade as long as we can. When he tries to wash off the Henna, it won't come off, should stay on a few weeks.
What's better? We will record every part of this including calling the fiance and letting her know we accidentally pulled a Hangover 3.
What I need from Reddit
Any advice on what to make tattoos of
Templates of those tattoos because neither of us are artistic
If I provide some photos of the Wolfpack, can you come up with some photoshopping magic to make it seem that we had a waaay crazier night than we did?
Finally, any advice as to what to do in Montreal this weekend [It happens to be a big weekend with 2 music festivals, a beer festival and the Montreal Grand Prix (which we have tickets for Sunday)]
EDIT 1 Okay, here are picture of the three of us. One of them has me with Biff from Back to the Future (Funny comedian now) * This is the Groom http://imgur.com/a/VjdZJ#aMYoc Edit 2 I'm going to pick the tattoo that reddit upvotes the most in the comments.
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