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Artist: Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist
Album: Alfredo
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Background
Freddie Gibbs is a veteran hip-hop artist signed to Warner Records known for his sharp flow, versatility and charisma. Born in Gary, Indiana, he found himself in the streets early, selling marijuana at a young age and progressively adding cocaine, heroin and other hard drugs to his catalog. In high school, he was an all-conference wide receiver and safety, and earned himself an athletic scholarship to play football at Ball State University. However, using what little information I could find on the topic, it seems after a year he was expelled, as Gibbs says he “didn’t go to class and shit,” and he focused on pursuing a rap career after this.
Gibbs released over a dozen mixtapes between 2004 and 2012, leading up to the release of his debut album, ESGN. Gibbs really broke out in the hip-hop scene in 2014 following the release of his critically acclaimed collaboration with legendary producer Madlib, Pinata. The record is now considered one of the best hip-hop records of the 2010s. Since then, he has dropped a handful of well received albums, including Shadow of a Doubt in 2015 and Bandana, the sequel to Pinata, with Madlib in 2019.
The Alchemist has been a staple of the hip-hop community for around 15 years, first coming onto the scene in the early ‘90s as one half of the rap duo The Whooliganz. His production work became noticed as he worked with Dilated Peoples and Mobb Deep later into the decade. He has worked with a laundry list of high profile artists such as Nas, Eminem, The LOX, Action Bronson, Earl Sweatshirt and ScHoolboy Q. In 2018, The Alchemist teamed up with Gibbs and Curren$y to release the highly anticipated Fetti, which marked Gibbs’ first collaboration with The Alchemist on his own music (he had appeared on a small number of Alchemist-produced songs as a feature before this).
Review
Alfredo opens up with 1985, an intro track that is appropriately backed by a very triumphant sounding electric guitar riff - reflecting his position in the game hot off the release of Bandana - and classic Gibbs content; guns and cocaine. This track transitions into God is Perfect, quickly switching from his victorious braggadocio into one of the stickiest (and one of the only, for that matter) hooks on the record.
Track 3, Scottie Beam, was released at a critical moment in 2020, considering the subject matter. The song, which features a very powerful verse from Gibbs centered on the topic of police brutality, was released just days after the murder of George Floyd and the beginning of the intense period of protesting and activism that followed. The phrase “The revolution is the genocide, your execution will be televised” is repeated in variation on the track, referring to the number of police brutality cases going viral in media with no end in sight. Gibbs’ verse is one of the most memorable of the project.

He pulled me over, I asked him “Yo, what’s the problem, sir?
I swerved to duck the potholes, man, I had no option, sir
Just let me go, cause my license, insurance proper, sir
I’d hate to be on the run for smokin’ a officer”

This quote, while not particularly complicated, showcases Gibbs’ charisma and presence on vocals, very casually threatening to off an officer that has racially profiled him. Rick Ross also appears on the song, and although it doesn’t really go along with Gibbs’ verse, it is still another solid Rick Ross feature. At the end of his verse, he has a particularly chilling quote about the deaths of Kobe and Gigi Bryant, wondering if he’s next.
Look at Me is a very atmospheric song where Gibbs drops a quick verse and hook, telling the listener to “look at me, motherfucker.” He flexes his cars and women in a power move over a very light beat. A signature Alchemist skit then flips us from a very calm song into the darkest track on the album, Frank Lucas. An appropriately named track, Gibbs and Griselda’s Benny the Butcher, two of today’s best coke rappers, both drop very strong verses over a very grimy beat that sticks out among the many lavish and luxurious beats it is surrounded by. However, strong transitions from The Alchemist make this switch up fit like a glove, and it doesn’t sound out of place.
On Something to Rap About, Freddie Gibbs links up with Tyler, The Creator in one of his very few guest verses since the release of his critically acclaimed and Grammy Nominated-album IGOR. The song has Gibbs and Tyler rap about their recent accomplishments in different lights. The song almost feels like it has a light side and a dark side to it that flips in the middle, as The Alchemist subtly but masterfully ups the pitch of the track’s sample just as Tyler’s verse is beginning. Gibbs talks about the finer things that crime and crack helped pay the way for, while Tyler brags about fashion and vacationing while addressing his haters.

I just got a thumbs up and niggas go like “Good job”
You better find a shoe store and get your sole, get it quick, slip it on
And I’ll be in Mykonos, lemonade, sippin’ slow
Jumpin’ in the water off that boat I haven’t bought yet

Tyler follows up his shots towards those that waste their time hating on his success by also calling out the yes men in his life, telling them to find a soul in a double entendre and tying it off by bringing it back to the boat he mentions in the beginning of the track. This song leads into Baby $hit, which, despite the name, is a track dedicated to his success with women, while clarifying that he doesn’t have time to wife a bitch because he’s cleaning up his son’s shit.
The track Babies & Fools finds Gibbs linking up with Griselda once again in a very personal collaboration with Conway the Machine. The two rappers lay down a trio of verses each over a very laid back sample of Christian group Andrus, Blackwood & Company’s All of Me, following a theme of imperfection despite everything they’ve accomplished and who they are. Gibbs and Conway come off as very honest on this song, both reflecting on their come up and successes, saying they gave their all for the streets, the hood, and, of course, mama, but making it known they aren’t perfect. Conway, in particular, shares his shortcomings as a father in his second verse.

My baby mama cut me off, she had enough of my shit
I’ll CashApp stacks every now and then like that’s enough
She like “At least FaceTime, your babies don’t see your ass enough”
Plus, my older son is failin’ math, that shit ain’t addin’ up

His next verse after this goes right back to his street cred, reminding the listener what he has done for his crew and what he’d do for them if an enemy ever crossed the line, staying true to the song’s message.
The album closes out with Skinny Suge and All Glass. Skinny Suge gives us one last drop of a vulnerable Freddie Gibbs before the end of the tape. The instrumental is very somber and stripped back, with a heavy bass and light snare keeping tempo over ambience and an ominous guitar sample. Gibbs takes the time to look back on the losses he’s taken on the come up, revisiting his label troubles early in his career and the dark side of the drug game. Some of the most striking lyrics of the project are on this track, particularly when Gibbs touches on his uncle’s passing.

Man, my uncle died off a overdose
And the fucked up part about that is I know I supplied the nigga that sold it
Put a pistol to my head, I was way too scared, drunk off emotions
I’m drinkin’ and takin’ these drugs cause I can’t numb the pain with smokin’

The song ends with a prayer to Allah, with Gibbs asking his Lord to protect him from the things out of his control while he lives by the street code. All Glass is the album’s finale, ending the album with a fearful, murder-full reminder that Gibbs is a powerful man who is not to be messed with.
Final Thoughts
I don’t believe this is anything close to a hot take, but this album is definitely in contention for the best album of 2020 in my eyes. It seems at times that Gibbs can work with any producer if he tries, but it still feels like this was an artist and producer combo destined for eachother. I’m more partial to Bandana over this project, but I still think this is a top of the line album that should not be missed. The features are all on point as well, especially Tyler and Conway, and I think this is an essential album for the “Old-school revival” currently happening.
Since I’ve already included lyrics as a part of my review, I’ll consider this a personal section and list some highlights for me as well as my favorite tracks.
Favorite Songs

1. Babies & Fools
   
2. Something to Rap About
   
3. Frank Lucas
   
4. God is Perfect
   
5. Scottie Beam
   

Favorite Lyrics

Geekers beamin’ up to Scotty in my crack lobby, I can smell the caine burnin’
Gangland, if you put a hit on Freddie Kane, it’ll be a gang murder
1985 Michael Jordan, bitch, I travel with a cocaine circus
Flow God level like when Hov speak, I make a song weep, I got the game hurtin’

Freddie Gibbs on 1985

Scammin’ niggas maxin’ out, ratchet bitches actin’ out
God made me sell crack so I’d have somethin’ to rap about
Lobster lollipops and crustaceans, ho, what you mad about?
I fucked her twice in Vegas, that pussy wasn’t shit to brag about

Freddie Gibbs on Something to Rap About

Right back in the trap, these niggas bringin’ out the old me
I’m tryna live to 93 to see the old me

Freddie Gibbs on Something to Rap About

I cut some niggas off on some hater shit niggas said to me
R.I.P. tees cause these motherfuckers is dead to me
Nail is in the coffin, murder, murder
I’m sick of y’all niggas, and I ain’t coughin’, I know me
Y’all often anxious, lost in y’all thoughts and I don’t relate
So keep that energy away from me
Don’t blame me cause you ain’t got it figured out, you ain’t got the bigger house
The jig is up, you jealous, dawg, my afro long, I’ll pick it out

Tyler, The Creator on Something to Rap About

Get that white and I beat it up like I’m Mike
Jumper broke, man, a nigga can’t be like Mike

Freddie Gibbs on Baby $hit

Cougar pussy, I fuck a rich nigga wife
Doja Cat let me hit from the byke-byke

Freddie Gibbs on Baby $hit

Dumb high, Marty McFly, put down the crack, bet on myself
Like I went back to the future with a rap almanac

Freddie Gibbs on Skinny Suge
Discussion Questions

• Do you prefer Freddie Gibbs over this style of production or over modern trap beats, such as on the album Freddie?
  
• Do you think this album deserves to win the Grammy Award for Rap Album of the Year?
  
• Where does this album rank among The Alchemist’s other 2020 collaborations (LULU with Conway the Machine & The Prince of Tea in China with Boldy James)?
  
• How does this album compare to Bandana?
  
• With producer collaboration projects seemingly becoming more common as of late, what other producers would you like to see Freddie Gibbs work with? On the flip side, what artists do you think The Alchemist should look to make a project with?
  

Appreciation flair?
Long post ahead:
Blackpink are my female ults and I love them so much. They are everything I'm looking for in a girl group.
Jisoo - Jisoo has improved a lot over the years and in the most recent stages I think she looks great and more confident than ever. This era she got more lines and center time and imo she did an amazing job. I love that she helped in the writing of LSG and I'm excited for her to write more music. I also can't wait for her drama, I'm sure she will do a great job there. Overall I think Jisoo's voice is necessary for Blackpink's music, the deep timbre is ideal for some parts. Her visual is gorgeous but she isn't just a visual. After all he is the funniest member! I love her persona, she was super funny in Blackpink 24/365.
Jennie - Jennie is my 2nd bias/bias wrecker and I have a very soft spot for her. Honestly, there was a time I didn't like because I was heavily affected by what others were saying, but now I regret it a lot. I think she is a super sweet person that cares a lot about blinks and she has proved it a lot of times. She is an all-rounder (I don't make the rules). Imo her rap is dope. Her flow and her power during live stages just slap hard. In The Album era, I think her singing improved a lot. I'm a huge fan of her vocal color, I think it's very attractive and I always look forward to her lines in songs. Plus she is an amazing performer and a very good dancer. I'm obsessed with her aura on stage. I'd love to see her make more music! Like Jisoo, she helped with LSG, and now she rewrote her rap! I can't wait to listen to it! Jennie is a super beautiful and sweet person and I think she deserves lots of love!
Rosé - Rosé was the member that first caught my attention when I was watching D4 mv. Her visual is stunning and her sweet high pitched voice were it for me. She is a great singer, even though she is not technically proficient, I honestly don't care about it. I enjoy listening to her singing and I can tell that she loves singing as well. When she plays the guitar or the piano, she definitely sounds like she enjoys it, she puts emotions in it. Rosé is also an amazing dancer. She totally deserves her lead position and I can understand why so many people like to watch her dance. She has worked hard and waited a lot to give blinks her 1st solo which is finally coming soon! Seeing her smile when she announcing it made me happy. Please look forward to it!
Lisa - Last but not least comes my bias, Lalisa. I love this girl so much and I can't put in words how much she inspires me. Her dancing is phenomenal in my eyes. I don't care at all if she is the best or not, she is passionate and she looks so damn fine when she performs each choreo. I really enjoy her lilifilms (even tho I didn't really like the choreo of the 3rd, I still think that she killed it.) I always anticipate them and I can't wait for her to post more! I really enjoy her rapping! I like her flow and her tone, and as I mentioned for other members, I can't think of any other rapper's voice that would be netter for Blackpinks's songs. Lisa is a talented indivual and a spectacular performer. Her energy on stage is top notch and she knows how to entertain the crowds. I could talk about her for hours but I will just keep it short. Lots of love to our beautiful Thai Queen. (Mentor Lisa 2.0 coming soon!)
Their discography: Even though it is still rather short, I love every song on it. They have legendary bops like D4. Everyone knows this song and it's choreo. It's very catchy and fun to listen and dance to. Easily one of my fave kpop songs. Square up is a mini album with only 4 tracks but it is still iconic. Forever Young is a song you can party to, See you later and Really are more "chill" but still catchy songs!
Then we have Kill This Love EP. I know that Kill This Love had many similarities to DDU-DU DDU-DU but it still is a fun song. Rosé's pre choruses are on repeat. Kick It is a pretty good song as well, I love Jennie's parts in it. (The line distribution tho.) I love how the used their lower register more in Hope Not. I hope they do it again in another song! Last from KTL EP we have Don't Know What To Do. I adore this song. Everytime I have trouble sleeping I listen to it and everything instantly feels better. I could listen to this song many times on repeat.
Then we arrive at The Album! We finally got a full album with 8 songs! How You Like That is hella catchy. It is dope and I like how it is a fairly short song. I personally don't get tired easily when I listen to it. Then Ice Cream (the best lyrics), it is pretty weird but after some listens I think I like it? I love the "look so good yeah look so sweet" part and the ending part. Pretty Savage is a savage bop for antis. Lisa's rap is everything. And Jisoo finally said Blackpink in your area!! Bet You Wanna is a great collab, imo one of the best Western x Kpop artist colab.
Lovesick Girls is my probably my fave title track from BP. Everything is just amazing. Jenlisa's rap and Chaesoo's vocals slayed. Crazy Over You has a nice chill-like instrumental. I'm excited for the choreo! Love To Hate Me is my favorite BP and (kpop) song in general at the moment. "Negative days, negative", "wake up yeah, make up maybe". Such a good song. Lastly, we have You Never Know. I love this song a lot. I like the lyrics and I'm happy Jisoo has the most lines!
We also have Boombayah and Whistle, BP's iconic debuts. The 1st is a party a song and the 2nd is more chill, I love the whistle sound on it. Then Playing With Fire and Stay. PWF is catchy like most of their songs and Stay is probably their most relaxed one with the beautiful backround music. Last song if As If It's Your Last, a classic fave of mine. I'm in love with the melodic chorus.
I love Jennie's solo! The concept is made for her and I love the 24 different outfits she was wearing on that MV! I want her to make a solo comeback lol.
Their dances: As a group, they aren't known for their dances that much, but I know a lot of people who appreciate them. Their dance practices are very fun to watch, I always find myself doing a marathon on them. I think they are in sync and their choreos have some creative parts. As I meantioned earlier, I love Lisa's solo dances and I'm excited for her to release her solo to see what she can pull off this time. I'd also love if Rosé could post a few more solo dance clips. (Why not Jennie's and even Jisoo's too?)
Their voices: While none of the members has reached the proficient technical level, I like how their voices blend together for a song. Each one is completely different from the other, I could tell them apart even from the first songs I heard!
Rapping: I think they have a lot of potential to be one of the top groups when it comes to rapping. Lisa and Jennie are some of the best idol rappers at the moment and they slay as a duo. The rap parts go really well with their songs and I'm glad that they have a killer rap part in pretty much every song. I hope they evolve more!
Performing: There have been several scandals about their performing as a group, but in 2020, I don't think any of them are valid anymore. How You Like That performances were super enjoyable to watch. I'm excited for "The Show" to see them perform live again :)
Concept: Girl Grush is 100% my thing and IN MY OPINION no one does it like BP. They engage their group name well with lighter and darker concepts. That's why I think their MVs are so fun to watch. Their are well made with concepts that suit the girls a lot.
Fashion/visual: I couldn't not include Fashion, the pinks are literally icons. Jennie with Chanel, Lisa with Celine, Jisoo with Dior and Rosé with Saint Laurent. Their instagram feeds look pretty and tbh I'm glad that they post a lot.
Blackpink has received a ton of hate, some of which was proved wrong and at the end they didn't deserve it. I'm so happy I stan this group, it genuinely makes me feel good everytime I watch their MV's, dance practices, stages, variety shows or listen to their music or look at photos of them. I hope they continue on for a long time!
TL;DR: I'm a huge blink, they are my ults. Jisoo, Jennie, Rosé and Lisa are super talented idols. Their discography is amazing and in general, I think they slay their concept. Lots of love to them.
Anyway, I just love Blackpink with all my heart, they make me very happy, they even help me cope with depression :)
(It's just my opinion don't attack me y'all)
Edit: Omg guys thank you so much for all these awards! I've never had so many in a post again.

Hey guys! Y'all might remember my series on media portrayal of Asians around the globe. It's been about a year since my first thread on this topic (sadly, it's now full of troll comments): /aznidentity/comments/cwvjdz/how_asians_are_portrayed_more_positively_in/
It's good to see we FINALLY have a (seemingly) proper AMWF mainstream movie (All My Life) coming out in Hollywood. Hope it does well.
That being said, I'd say this is probably a good time to check our progress and compare our representation in the Anglosphere to elsewhere such as the Francosphere. Believe it or not, despite the Francosphere being far from perfect, in contrast to the Anglosphere where Asians have always been depicted as "undesirable" nerds and threats, Europe often saw French-Asians as being more prone towards fashion and academics, which is why you'll find Asians more respected in the artsy and scientific spheres in France. French media has been historically popular around Europe and still is today, especially for romantic movies and books. Reading books is much more popular in Europe than in the USA/Anglosphere.
One famous French writer is Marguerite Duras, who presented Asian men in romantic roles in The Lover) (aka L'Amant) and Hiroshima mon amour. Anglo cultures have no equivalent. Those stories became hugely popular amongst French readers around the globe and eventually movie adaptations were made. Both films were extremely successful and both nominated for Oscars in Hollywood despite being non-Anglo (foreign) films made by French.
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• Trailer for The Lover) (1992), a movie which features hotter sex scenes than most porn: https://youtu.be/ObXJvC49_4k

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• Scene from Hiroshima mon amour (1959): https://youtu.be/_kgKSAulY6g

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• Compilation of love scenes from Hiroshima mon amour (1959): https://youtu.be/aH63GN0jUqM

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However, there are some important details to note. Despite both those films being eventually nominated for Oscars, they were huge successes in France but not so much in the USA. According to sources, The Lover) (1992) "was a box office success, and received mostly positive reviews from the general audience along with mostly negative reviews from American critics."
"The film was a box office success in France taking in 626,891 admissions its opening weekend, playing in a total of 229 theaters. In total the film received a total of 3,156,124 admissions in France, becoming the seventh-highest-grossing film of the year.[2]#citenote-JPBox_Office-2) The Lover grossed $4,899,194 in box office receipts in the United States when given limited release to 103 theaters.[[3]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lover(1992_film)#cite_note-Box_Office_Mojo-3)"
Looking at those facts above, it's safe to assume Americans/Anglos (compared to French/Europeans) didn't like the idea of Asian men being portrayed romantically. Quite comparable to so many other examples in Hollywood and the Anglosphere such as when Jet Li's kissing scene with Aaliyah was cut out at the end of Romeo Must Die in 2001.
“Mainstream America, for the most part, gets uncomfortable with seeing an Asian man portrayed in a sexual light,” said Gene Cajayon, a Filipino American who directed 2001’s The Debut. https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/why-jet-li-and-aaliyah-didnt-kiss-in-romeo-must-die.html/
My French friends have told me about how Asian men were really popular in France's dating scene during a time period in the 70s/80s before all the Hollywood/Anglo emasculation stereotypes took place around the late 80s/90s. One French-Asian friend told me how his uncle was a major playboy amongst French women back in the day.
​
Today, we have Frederic Chau, a prominent French actor who is considered handsome in France and although has gone through stereotyping, he is constantly featured with French-European women in mainstream media (pictures online, advertisements, movies, etc.) and is even married to one.
Serial (Bad) Weddings_Weddings) (aka Qu'est-ce qu'on a fait au Bon Dieu?) is a super popular romantic comedy film known by almost all French people where his AMWF relationship is a major focus. Here's the trailer: https://youtu.be/IbyLWzBLLf8
"One out of six people in France has watched this movie," says Frederic Chau. https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/arts-culture/article/1665460/postcard-paris
His other movie called Made in China stars Frederic Chau in an AMWF relationship, and was widely advertised and commercialized on almost every billboard and mainstream media in France (so far, I have yet to see that same level of advertisement for All My Life in the USA): https://youtu.be/yR8XzuoDByg
Trailer for the movie (I'd say it's comparable to The Big Sick with Kumail Nanjiani): https://youtu.be/aUemglktTHs
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Moving onto the music industry in France.....
​

• Anggun - a major singer who made it huge in France/Europe after coming from Indonesia. What's interesting is she actually first tried to make it in the UK/Anglosphere, but found no success. Basically, Anglo media rejected her despite being already famous in Indonesia. So then she decided to try France instead and that's when she met the producer Erick Benzi.
  • Anggun has since topped No.1 multiple times on European billboard charts. Here's a list of her top music videos: https://en.brilio.net/celebrity/5-songs-by-anggun-that-hit-no-1-in-european-billboard-charts-160802u.html
    • "After naturalizing as a French citizen, Anggun represented France at Eurovision 2012 in Baku. The French government awarded her the prestigious Chevalier des Arts et Lettres and she has twice been a UN Global Ambassador."
    • Eurovision 2012 performance: https://youtu.be/0DZ7DbdeOeE
  • Another live performance at Fête de la Musique: https://youtu.be/V3ZRTgL18gE
  • She also became widely famous for Cesse La Pluie, the OST of the movie Transporter 2 (2005): https://youtu.be/gU-6eOuYEwQ

No Asian female singer in the Anglosphere has ever made anywhere near the mainstream success Anggun has made in France and around Europe.
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• Willy Denzey - one of the most popular French R&B singers during the early 2000s. I remember my French friends used to listen to his music.
  • His single "Le mur du son" was certified Gold Record: https://youtu.be/U0KyiiOaK9E
  • His other single "L'Orphelin" was certified Silver Record: https://youtu.be/k18wSzTqdGs
  • Sexy AMWF music video for his single "Honey": https://youtu.be/IZEXcw_i19I
    • It was on M6) (the biggest French TV network for mainstream music videos).
  • Another single featuring AMWF: https://youtu.be/JWrXYhig09c

Willy Denzey has been featured plenty in French mainstream and collaborated with several major artists such as Leslie Bourgouin) (who happens to be AMWF hapa): https://youtu.be/l2f57Urhi-U

• Collaboration music video featuring Willy Denzey: https://youtu.be/nb9ZMScfFmo
• Live song featuring Leslie Bourgouin: https://youtu.be/wUME5b2j864
• Willy Denzey's song used for High School Musical 2: https://www.whosampled.com/Willy-Denzey/Double-Mise-(Bet-on-It)//)

We still have no male or female Asian-looking mainstream singer in the USA/Anglosphere on the level of Anggun or Willy Denzey in France/Europe despite the Anglosphere having way larger Asian percentages/populations.
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Monsieur Nov - very talented musician who has been rising more in mainstream lately. Although he's had trouble gaining promotion in the past, I've been following him lately and he's definitely making progress in French mainstream.

• Here are some of his past music videos: https://www.frenchmusicblog.com/monsieur-nov
• New AMWF music video released last month: https://youtu.be/q_JsZ8JITiA
• AMBF romantic collab music video: https://youtu.be/7rOpcN-YQzo
• Featured on Skyrock), a French radio station that "is mainly dedicated to mainstream rap music and R&B": https://youtu.be/0BEs9LFbWiQ
  • Featured again last year: https://youtu.be/B37AgzKDmw4
• Featured on a music video released through VEVO: https://youtu.be/vEzzU8RFWjc

Like Willy Denzey, Monsieur Nov features tons of romance with him and hot non-Asian women in his music videos which is not something we see in Anglo mainstream. I know this because I closely follow mainstream music in the Anglosphere.
Just look up MC Jin, Dumbfoundead, Rich Brian, and any notable Asian singerapper trying to break mostly/only through the Anglosphere. You'll see how they're all stuck mostly in Asian niches and not often featured in romance with women (let alone, non-Asian women). They're also not featured on VEVO or mainstream music services. They have to rely on 88rising and mostly other Asians to gain support, which is cool, but definitely "racially pigeonholes" in regards to breaking into mainstream (without racial stereotypes) compared to those French-Asian artists mentioned above who are consistently featured with non-Asians and don't have much trouble gaining support from people regardless of race. That's a sign that they have an easier time being accepted by other races in France.
Although I'm no expert in this area, I've been told that contrary to the Anglosphere countries, relationships in Western European countries (such as France) was not only about importing factory workers and colonizing, but also having Asian writers/philosophers/politicians taking part even before the French Revolution.
TL;DR I would say our social status/acceptance in France is overall better than in the Anglosphere, but I still don't think it's as good compared to our social status in the Caribbean, Latin America, Eastern Europe and maybe even the Middle East or Africa.
Based on my past experiences, I can confidently say French women have been far more open to dating me and other Asian men I knew compared to Anglo women. I've heard many similar experiences from Asian men saying they've had better luck with Francophone women in Western Europe or even in Quebec (French-speaking region of Canada) compared to the Anglosphere.
Any AM bros here can comment on their experiences. Feel free to add or provide feedback on this thread too.
Also, if you're interested, check out my past threads on Asian status/representation in the Caribbean, Latin America (article on Uruguay), and Russia/ex-Soviet Union (post about Viktor Tsoi, the father of Soviet rock).

Jonathan Lyndale Kirk (born December 22, 1991),[a] better known as DaBaby (formerly known as Baby Jesus), is an American rapper, singer, and songwriter from Charlotte, North Carolina.[5][6][7] After releasing several mixtapes between 2014 and 2018, [8] DaBaby rose to mainstream prominence in 2019.[9]
DaBaby Kirk during an interview in May 2018 Kirk during an interview in May 2018 Background information Birth name Jonathan Lyndale Kirk Also known as Baby Jesus Born December 22, 1991 (age 29)[a] Cleveland, Ohio, U.S.[3] Origin Charlotte, North Carolina, U.S. Genres Hip hop trap[4] Occupation(s) Rapper singer songwriter Years active 2015–present Labels Interscope South Coast Billion Dollar Baby Associated acts DaniLeigh DJ K.i.D Megan Thee Stallion Stunna 4 Vegas Children 2 Website officialdababy.com His debut studio album Baby on Baby (2019) peaked at number seven on the Billboard 200,[10] while his second studio album, Kirk (2019), debuted at number one.[11][12][13] The former album featured the Billboard Hot 100 hit single "Suge", while the latter featured "Intro", and "Bop".[14] His third studio album, Blame It on Baby (2020), became his second consecutive number-one album in the US. It also included DaBaby's highest-charting song, "Rockstar" featuring Roddy Ricch, which spent seven non-consecutive weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100.[15][16]
Early life
Jonathan Lyndale Kirk was born on December 22, 1991,[a] in Cleveland, Ohio. He moved to Charlotte, North Carolina in 1999, where he spent most of his early years. He attended Vance High School where he graduated in 2010. He attended the University of North Carolina at Greensboro for two years,[17] but did not complete his studies, saying he only went to school for his parents' sake.[8] He grew up listening to Eminem, 50 Cent and Lil Wayne with his two older brothers.[18]
Career
2014–2018: Early mixtapes Kirk began taking music seriously between 2014 and 2015.[8] In 2015, he started off his music career by releasing Nonfiction, his debut mixtape. He later followed this up with his God's Work mixtape series, Baby Talk mixtape series, Billion Dollar Baby, and Back on My Baby Jesus Sh*t. He initially performed under the name Baby Jesus, which he eventually changed out of concern that it had become a distraction.[19]
Kirk got his big break after signing to Arnold Taylor, the president of the South Coast Music Group label, a big radio promoter. Taylor saw Kirk perform around North Carolina clubs at the time he [Taylor] was launching his label. Taylor had been responsible in the early rise of Southern rap stars including Yo Gotti and Future.[8] Once they started working together, the team kept building buzz around the South with mixtapes and club shows, while Kirk was finding his sound. Through his deal with South Coast, Kirk signed a short-lived distribution deal with Jay-Z's Roc Nation for his Blank Blank mixtape that would prove to be his breakout in late 2018.[19] Thanks to the guidance of Taylor, and following major label bidding wars, Kirk landed a seven-figure recording deal with Interscope.[8]
2019: Baby on Baby and Kirk In January 2019, when Kirk signed with Interscope, he began his own imprint label called Billion Dollar Baby Entertainment .[20] On March 1, 2019, Kirk's debut studio album Baby on Baby, was released via Interscope Records. He is also signed to South Coast Music Group and has a joint contract with both labels. The thirteen-track project features guest appearances from Offset, Rich Homie Quan, Rich the Kid and Stunna 4 Vegas. Baby on Baby debuted at number 25 on the Billboard 200 albums chart in the US. The song "Suge" debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 at number 87 on the chart dated April 13, 2019, and later reached the top 10, on the chart dated June 8, 2019.[21] Kirk was featured on the cover of XXL's Freshman Class of 2019.[22]
Kirk featured on various hit songs throughout mid-2019, including Megan Thee Stallion's "Cash Shit" and Quality Control's "Baby", both of which reached the top 40 on the Billboard Hot 100. On July 5, 2019, Kirk was featured on Dreamville Records' newly released compilation album Revenge of the Dreamers, on the opening track, "Under the Sun". He received acclaim for his guest feature, with various publications ranking it as his best verse of 2019,[23][24][25] including Complex magazine calling it a "defining breakout moment for a new rap superstar".
In August 2019, he announced that his second album would be titled Kirk, a tribute to his last name.[11] It was released on September 27, and debuted atop the US Billboard 200.[13] Its lead single, "Intro", was also successful, peaking at number 13 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart. Around that time, Kirk also made notable appearances on singles such as Post Malone's "Enemies",[26] which peaked at number 16 on the Billboard Hot 100, and on the remixes to YG's "Stop Snitchin", Lizzo's "Truth Hurts",[27] and Lil Nas X's "Panini",[28] released on May 24, August 23, and September 13, 2019, respectively. On October 24, he made a cameo appearance in the music video for up-and-coming rapper Rich Dunk's breakthrough single "High School".[29]
Kirk closed 2019 having 22 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 for the year, the most of any artist that year.[30][9]
2020–present: Blame It on Baby, "Rockstar" and My Brother's Keeper At the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards, held in 2020, Kirk received two nominations, both for "Suge", in the categories Best Rap Performance and Best Rap Song.[31] On April 13, 2020, he announced on Twitter that his third studio album, Blame It on Baby, would be released on April 17, 2020.[32] The album received mixed to positive reviews, but achieved commercial success, debuting atop the Billboard 200 with 124,000 album-equivalent units, becoming Kirk's second number-one album.[15] It also produced his highest-charting song, "Rockstar", featuring Roddy Ricch, which spent seven non-consecutive weeks at number-one on the Billboard Hot 100, and reached number-one in the United Kingdom. [15][33] In June, Kirk was featured on the remix for the Jack Harlow's song, "Whats Poppin", which peaked at number two on the Hot 100 while "Rockstar" was still at the top. This made DaBaby the 20th act to occupy the chart's top 2 positions, and the first since Ariana Grande in 2019. In July, Kirk was featured on "For the Night" by Pop Smoke and Lil Baby, which debuted at number six on the Hot 100. As a result, DaBaby became the seventh act to chart at least three songs in the top six simultaneously.[34]
On July 27, Kirk released a new single with his signee Stunna 4 Vegas, titled "No Dribble",[35] included on the deluxe edition of Blame It on Baby, which was released on August 4, 2020, and described by DaBaby as a "brand new album".[36] On November 20, 2020, DaBaby released his debut EP, My Brother's Keeper (Long Live G). It pays tribute to his late brother, Glenn Johnson, and features appearances from Meek Mill and Polo G, among others. [37] Kirk also contributed a feature on the remix of "Levitating" by English singer Dua Lipa. Though the remix was released in late 2020, the song began climbing up the charts and eventually peaked at number 7 on the Billboard Hot 100 in early 2021.
On January 15, 2021, DaBaby released a new single titled "Masterpiece" alongside a music video for the track directed by Gemini Visions.[38] The track includes references to his relationship with DaniLeigh and to his past legal troubles.[39][40]
Artistry
Charles Holmes of Rolling Stone described Kirk's flow as a "staccato, precise, and brutal rapping style, a syllable-crushing force delivered with such forward momentum it often gives the illusion that he starts rapping before the beat begins". The most famous example of this being his breakthrough hit "Suge".[17]
Speaking on his influences, Kirk has said he studied artists like Future, Lil Wayne and Kanye West, who he says "came up and consistently progressed". He further elaborated: "I've studied all the genius marketers throughout the rap game. I borrow from anybody with something to offer". Jeff Weiss of The Guardian favorably compared to Kirk to Busta Rhymes, Eminem, Missy Elliott and Ludacris, noting the similarities in their musical styles which include "inventive rap stylists unafraid to make videos full of funny parodies and rubber-faced camera goofs".[8] According to Weiss, Kirk "reflects an anachronistic approach to the rap game. If the charts are filled with opiated threnodies about addiction and sadness, he eschews singing in favor of raps that could take your head off". Kirk has said "I can't sing, but I'll hit some notes here and there".[8]
Legal issues
Kirk was involved in an incident in Huntersville, North Carolina where a 19-year-old man was shot in the abdomen and died soon after.[41] He confirmed his involvement in the shooting and said "he acted in self defense".[42] The most serious charges were dropped in March 2019,[41] and he pleaded guilty to carrying a concealed weapon, a misdemeanor.[43]
In January 2020, Kirk was detained and questioned in Miami in connection with a robbery investigation. He was later arrested after authorities found he had a warrant out in Texas. The warrant stemmed from a battery charge.[44] According to TMZ and other outlets, members of his crew allegedly jumped and robbed a music promoter who only paid Kirk $20,000 of the $30,000 he was owed for a performance in Miami.[45][46] Reports state that he and his associates allegedly took $80 cash, an iPhone 7, and a credit card from the promoter. Kirk was charged with battery and released from Miami-Dade County jail 48 hours later.[47]
During Kirk's 2020 "Up Close N Personal" tour, he slapped a female fan on his way to the stage for a performance in Tampa, Florida. The crowd responded by booing, and he left the venue without performing any songs. He said that he struck her because she placed her phone too close to his face while taking a video with the flash on. In a video posted on Instagram, Kirk said, "I do apologize that there was a female on the other end. I think by this time, you know it's a well known fact that male or female, I would've responded the same exact way."[48]
Personal life
Kirk has two children. His daughter was born in 2017 and his second child was born in 2020. Kirk's father died in 2019 shortly after the release of Kirk's debut studio album. His sophomore album is a tribute to his last name and contains a picture of his father in the cover. Kirk's brother, Glen Johnson, died in November 2020, at 34 years old from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.[49][50]
Politically, Kirk has endorsed the 2020 presidential campaign of fellow rapper Kanye West.[51]
In late December 2020, Kirk revealed he is in a relationship with Dominican-American singer and choreographer DaniLeigh.[52][39]
Discography
Main article: DaBaby discography Baby on Baby (2019)[53] Kirk (2019)[11] Blame It on Baby (2020) Tours
Headlining Baby on Baby Tour (2019)[54] Kirk Tour (2019)[55] Awards and nominations
Award Year Recipient(s) and nominee(s) Category Result Ref. ASCAP Rhythm & Soul Music Awards 2020 "Baby Sitter" Winning R&B/Hip-Hop Songs Won [56] "Cash Shit" Won "Suge" Top R&B/Hip-Hop Song Won BET Awards 2020 Kirk Album of the Year Nominated [57] "Bop" Video of the Year Nominated Viewers' Choice Award Nominated Himself Best Male Hip Hop Artist Won BET Hip Hop Awards 2019 "Suge" Best Hip Hop Video Nominated [58] Himself Hot Ticket Performer Nominated Himself Best New Hip Hop Artist Won Grammy Awards 2020 "Suge" Best Rap Performance Nominated [31] Best Rap Song Nominated 2021 "Rockstar" (with Roddy Rich) Record of the Year Pending [59] Best Melodic Rap Performance Pending Best Rap Song Pending "BOP" Best Rap Performance Pending MTV Video Music Awards 2019 "Suge" Song of Summer Nominated [60] See also
List of artists who reached number one in the United States Notes
^ a b c Mecklenburg public records show DaBaby's birth date as being December 21, 1991.[1] However, DaBaby has stated his birth date is December 22, 1991.[2] References
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Archived from the original on March 16, 2020. Retrieved April 3, 2020. ^ Payne, Ogden (May 14, 2019). "Meet DaBaby, Charlotte's Newest Up-And-Coming Rapper With Universal Promise". Forbes. Archived from the original on June 23, 2020. Retrieved March 9, 2020. ^ "DaBaby Chart History: Hot 100". Billboard. Archived from the original on May 6, 2019. Retrieved June 4, 2019. ^ Staff, X. X. L. "XXL 2019 Freshman Class Revealed". XXL Mag. Archived from the original on August 19, 2020. Retrieved July 31, 2019. ^ "DaBaby's Best Guest Verses of 2019, Ranked". Billboard. Archived from the original on November 21, 2019. Retrieved December 31, 2019. ^ "DaBaby's Best Guest Verses, Ranked". Complex. Archived from the original on December 31, 2019. Retrieved December 31, 2019. ^ "DaBaby's Top 10 Best Features Of 2019". HotNewHipHop. Archived from the original on December 13, 2019. Retrieved December 31, 2019. ^ "Post Malone's 'Hollywood's Bleeding' is Packed with 17 Tracks". Billboard. Archived from the original on September 23, 2019. Retrieved November 11, 2019. ^ "Lizzo & DaBaby Team Up For "Truth Hurts" Remix: Listen". August 23, 2019. Archived from the original on December 4, 2019. Retrieved November 11, 2019. ^ Pulliam-Moore, Charles (September 13, 2019). "Lil Nas X's "Panini" Finally Gets the Chowder Treatment It Deserves". io9. Archived from the original on November 10, 2019. Retrieved March 8, 2020. ^ "WATCH: DABABY + RICH DUNK RELEASE NEW HIGH SCHOOL VIDEO". Sohh. October 24, 2019. Archived from the original on October 29, 2019. Retrieved November 11, 2019. ^ Zellner, Xander (October 8, 2019). "DaBaby Charts 18 Songs on Hot 100, Including All 13 From New Album 'Kirk'". Billboard. Archived from the original on February 5, 2020. Retrieved December 31, 2019. ^ a b "2020 GRAMMY Awards: Complete Nominees List". The Recording Academy. Archived from the original on January 26, 2020. Retrieved April 3, 2020. ^ "DaBaby on Twitter: "THIS FRIDAY! 🤫💿" / Twitter". 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Now, we're gonna do something we haven't done in a while. So, over the last week or so, there's been a lot of attention paid to a music video, it's called "WAP", okay, which, we're gonna get into in just one second. And, it seems to me, that there's a segment that we've been remissed in ignoring for a long time now on the show, we used to do it regularly, it's called "Deconstructing the Culture". So, it's time once again to deconstruct the culture, where we take, an important piece of popular culture, and we break it down for its important aspects in American life. So, let's deconstruct a little bit of culture.
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So, there's this video that went out, it is by a person named Cardi B, who, has a rather checkered past, I mean, she's talked on video about how she used to drug men and steal their money after- after, bringing them back, as, as what? A quasi-prostitute? Something like that? And then she became a rapper, so, an American suc- success story, and there's another rapper, name is Megan Thee Stallion-- and I assume this is her given name her last name is Stallion and her parents named her Megan Thee, and I don't know why her middle name is Thee instead of The, uh- but apparently you are the stallion, not just the. Thee, thee are the stallion.
​
In any case, there's this new video, and, just as a preface to this video, let me note some of the headlines about this video, from mainstream outlets. The headline, from, Complex, was, "Why Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's Empowering Anthem "WAP" Is So Important". This is very important guys. This is a very, very, empowering, important anthem. Grammy. Grammy.com, they put out, like- people who do the Grammy awards. They put out a headline. "Cardi B And Megan Thee Stallion Deliver A Juicy Collaboration with 'WAP'". Wow, I mean, must be important. Metro, UK, put out, a headline, "The backlash to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's WAP proves society still hates sexually powerful women" Hmmmm. Apparently according to Billboard, "Christina Aguilera Is 'Feelin' Some Type of Way' About Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion's 'WAP'". This is a deeply important piece of art, guys. And then, Black Entertainment TV, BET, they put out a headline. "Cardi B Perfectly Claps Back At Misogynistic Criticism Of 'WAP'". Because all, criticism, of WAP, is misogynistic. Deeply misogynistic and sexist, as it turns out. And this video, this music video, had 56 million views, within, 48 hours of release, because it got all sorts of press, and it was deeply important. This is a deeply important piece of American art that we should all pay attention to. It is deeply empowering.
​
So, we're going to play a little bit of the video, and then I'm going to read you, some of the lyrics, to WAP. Which stands for a thing. I can't say most of the words in this song. I mean, I can pronounce them. But, if I say them aloud, then we will be banned by the FCC. So, here is a little bit for this video. [Music video begins] So, as you can see there's water pouring out from the front of a mansion. Okay, so here are these two ladies and then there is a giant golden, butt. Okay, and then there are, golden boobs, that apparently are spouting water. Uhm, it's uhm, yeah, so this is all great. And then there are some tigers, and this is apparently the tackiest mansion that has ever been. And then there's them lying there with a bunch of snakes. And- you know, kinda typical, music video, kind of stuff. But it's very empowering. This is deeply, deeply empowering stuff. So, if you can't hear the lyrics, because- it's- because- uhm- I don't know why you wouldn't hear the lyrics, frankly. Here are, here are some of the lyrics. This is empowering stuff, guys. This is like Susan B. Anthony. This is like women fighting for the right to vote, this right here is women righting for the right to work, right here what we are watching is women fighting for the equal right to talk about their Wet Ass P-words. That's what WAP stands for. So, here are the actual lyrics. Okay, and-th-th-this is- this is not demeaning to women in any way. It's not demeaning women in any way. It doesn't turn women into sex objects. It doesn't make men think of women in a purely sexual fashion. It is women empowering themselves. It is super empowering.
​
Here's some of the lyrics, are you ready? "Whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house. Hold up. I said certified freak, seven days a week, wet ass P-word. Make that pull-out game weak. Yeah, you f-ing with some wet ass P-word." P-word, is, female genitalia. "Bring a bucket and a mop, for this wet ass P-word. Give me everything you've got, for this wet ass P-word. Beat it up N-word. Catch a charge. Extra large and extra hard. Put this P-word right in your face. Swipe your nose like a credit card. Hop on top, I want a ride. I do a kegal while it's inside. Spit in my mouth. Look in my eyes. This P-word is wet. Come take a dive." It continues, along, these lines. And it gets, significantly, significantly more vulgar. Like a-a lot more vulgar. "Talk your S-word, bite your lip. Ask for a call, while you ride that D-word. You really ain't ever gonna F him for a thing. He already made his mind up for he came, now get your boots and your coat for this wet ass P-word. Pay me tuition just to kiss me on this wet ass P-w"-
​
Right so, this is- d- guys, thi- this is what feminists want[?] for. This is what the feminist movement was all about. It's not really about, you know, women being treated as individual, full, rounded, human beings. It's about, wet ass P-word. And if you ask any differently, it's because you're a misogynist, you see. It gets, really, really, really, really, really, vulgar. But- I will admit, that when I first saw, the lyrics, to this song, my first concern, as a sympathetic and empathetic human being- my first concern is that these women are describing a serious gynecological condition. And, like I-I-I'm serious, these women are suffering from some sort of serious- I mean, a bucket and a mop? This sounds like, there's- there- there's something that is going on here that is not biologically normal.
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And, by the way, this song is so unsexy that it frankly sounds like somebody describing something that amounts to a serious condition that requires the care, of a doctor. So, fortunately I know a doctor, who is my wife, and- so I asked her for her medical diagnosis. And she looked at the lyrics herself, and after, being, kind of appalled by them, obviously, she had a few, sort of indicators here on how she could diagnose the vaginal condition that apparently these women are suffering from. So there's a few sort of giveaway. A few sort of giveaways here. So first of all, a bucket and a mop, for this wet ass P-word. So first of all, she had to clarify whether wet ass P-word was a description of the P-word, or whether one of the clinical symptoms here was also diarrhea. But, "bring a bucket and mop". So, this suggests, that, there's an awful lot of, uhm, not to be too graphic, but, some sort of medical discharge that's happening here. Like, a lot too much. Right, a lot too much. Because, that's a symptom of something that is not, going, great. Apparently, there's signs of prolapse. Uhm, and, I say that because, "Hop on top I want a ride, I do a kegal while it's inside". So there's a sign of some actual clinical prolapse. Also, there's some, talk about uhm, where this person is putting their noise. And there's some talk about smelling. Right, there's a- there's a line here gagging and choking, which suggests that perhaps, perhaps there's an odor issue here. Also, at some point in here, there's a reference to diabetes. About, a person, who uh, engages in particular activity and ends up diabetic, which suggests a serious pH imbalance.
​
So, I asked my wife for a differential diagnosis for the sake of these ladies, in case they need to, go to the doctor. I mean, like, this is a problem, I mean like, if- if this is rea- like, there's water pouring out the front doors of this place, and that ain't water guys, I mean, that's what I'm being told, that ain't water. So, the medical diagno- here- here's her differential. Her differential diagnosis, my wife the doctor, was, either, these women are suffering from bacterial vaginosis, or a yeast infection or, my wife, suggested, most probably, they are suffering from, trichomoniasis, so, just a bit of medical advice, you know, put aside the empowerment, I know how empowering it is for women to sing about the moisture state of their genitals, and I know, that anybody, who criticises this as reductive of female sexuality, and/or, of putting out, images of females, as, oversexualized in a way that is negative, that puts negative images, in men, and drives negative images toward women, for men, treating them as sex objects. I understand that, that stuff is out of bounds. Right, I mean, if we mention that stuff, it's because we're misogynists, I'm a sexist for saying that women are more than their wet ass P-words, but, I- as a sympathetic human being, I want to make sure these ladies get the care they need, my wife's advice is that they go to a gynocologist, and that they do whatever checks are necessary for bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, or trichomoniasis.

25 year old rapper Tupac Shakur was shot and killed in a drive-by shooting in Las Vegas, Nevada on September 7, in 1996. The shooting occurred at 11:15 p.m. P.S.T when the car carrying Tupac was stopped at a red light at East Flamingo Road and Koval Lane. He had just attended a boxing match between Bruce Seldon and Mike Tyson at the MGM Grand. Earlier in the evening, he, Death Row Records manager Marion “Suge” Knight and others in his group got into a fight with an alleged Southside Crips gang member Orlando “Baby Lane” Anderson in the MGM Grand Hotel. The fight was captured on security video. Suge’s men quickly spread the word that the killer was Orlando “according to what informants told police in the chaotic days after the shooting.”
Tupac’s mother, Afeni Shakur, upon receiving the phone call that he had been shot recalled “she’d always known this call was coming.” “From the moment he was born,” she said, “I measured his life in five-year periods. When he was five, I was so grateful. When he was 10, I thanked God he was 10. Fifteen, 20, 25, I was always amazed he’d survived. He was a gift.” Afeni, at one time, had been a member of the Black Panther Party and was arrested in 1968 on charges of conspiring with other members to carry out bombings in New York. Acting as her own lawyer, the jury took less than 20 minutes to vote acquittal on all 156 counts. A month later, in June 1971, Afeni gave birth to a son who she named Tupac Amaru—Incan for “shining serpent”—"after an 18th-century Peruvian revolutionary whom Spanish colonizers pulled apart with horses.” Tupac died 6 days later after being shot. He regained consciousness once when Kidada Jones, Quincy Jones’ daughter and his girlfriend, played Don McLean’s “Vincent” on the CD player next to his bed. She heard a moan, and his eyes swollen and filled with mucus "fluttered open." Kidada recalled asking Tupac “do you hear me?” He seemed to nod and she asked, "if you can hear me, move your feet”; the sheets rustled at the end of the bed. “Do you know I love you?” she said. “Do you know we all love you?” This time, the nod was distinct. As Kidada turned to the door, Tupac "shook in convulsions and slipped into a coma." Afeni was there at the end when she decided to tell the doctors "to let him go."
According to a Compton police affidavit, two months earlier, a group of Crips “snatched a Death Row pendant” from a Blood named Trevon “Tray” Lane at Lakewood Mall near Compton, California. Two months later, Tray was with Tupac and Suge at the fight in Las Vegas. After the fight, the Death Row group left the MGM Grand arena and spotted Orlando in the lobby who Tray identified as one of the Crips who snatched his chain. Tupac “rolled up on Anderson, rhetorically demanded, 'You from the South?'” and punched him in the face. An ensuing fight broke out.
After Tupac’s killing, the Bloods “launched a full-out war on Compton Crips” resulting in the deaths of 3 men and 13 shootings. It became clear “that the rap star’s death — and the three homicides that followed — are only the most visible tragedies in a web of intrigue that extends deep into the L.A. underworld.” Suge Knight was at the center of this web was Suge Knight who “ran Death Row like a Mafia boss.” Suge had LAPD officers “on his payroll” and fueled “a bicoastal beef with Sean “Puffy” Combs’ Bad Boy Records and its superstar rapper Biggie Smalls, who was killed six months after Tupac.” Shortly before his death, Tupac argued with Suge over unpaid royalties, fired Death Row lawyer David Kenner and planned to leave the label.
Las Vegas police told LAPD detective Russell Poole that “the main reason they would never solve this case is that the politicians didn’t want them to. They said the powers that be had let them know the city didn’t need an O.J.-style circus.” Detective Poole was investigating Biggie’s killing. He said that “LAPD brass, bracing for a lawsuit from Biggie’s family, blocked him from following numerous leads that might have connected black LAPD cops to Death Row.” Detective Poole Poole was ultimately removed from the case and resigned from the LAPD in 1999.
In 2009, now-retired Los Angeles Police Department Detective Greg Kading secured a recorded confession from Duane Davis also known as Keffe D.; the initial statement was given under a “proffer session” where Keffe D. “can confess to crimes but those confessions can't be used against him, but that doesn't mean he's immune from prosecution.” Keffe D was questioned by LAPD in connection with the murder of Biggie Smalls. Detective Kading was in the room when Keffe D confessed instead to his involvement in the 1996 murder of Tupac saying Orlando “leaned over and rolled down the window and popped him.” Keffe D claimed his aim was not good enough so he handed the gun to Orlando who he said fired the shots at Tupac.
Detective Kading was assigned to reopen the Biggie Smalls homicide case in 2006. During investigations, he and other detectives kept hearing about Keffe D., Orlando’s uncle, who saw Biggie at the Soul Train Music Awards after-party hosted by Vibe magazine shortly before he was killed. Detective Kading set up a drug deal sting to coerce Keffe D. into talking about Biggie’s murder and “the trap worked.” Facing decades in prison, “Keffe D. sat down to work out a deal but denied any knowledge of Smalls’ killers.” Instead, Keffe D. told them about Tupac’s death and started by providing some background.
In 1991, Keffe D was introduced to a Harlem drug dealer named Eric “Zip” Martin and they “started doing business.” Two years later, Zip, who was also involved in the music business, brought Keffe D. to a BET party at the Paradise Club in Los Angeles where he was introduced to Sean “Puffy” Combs. Keffe D “maintained a relationship” with Puffy, and he lent him the 1964 Chevy featured in Usher’s “Can U Get Wit It” video. According to Keffe D., “when the East-West beef jumped off”, his Crips provided security for Bad Boy Records on the West Coast. Keffe D. also alleged that at one point, Puffy said he would pay a million dollars for Tupac and Suge to be killed. Detective Kading quoted Keffe D. as saying: “[Puffy] was like, ‘I want to get rid of them dudes.’ … I was like, ‘Man, we’ll wipe their ass out, quick … it’s nothing. Consider that done.’ ” Puffy has adamantly denied soliciting any murder.
Keffe D. told Detective Kading that he went to Vegas simply to enjoy the Mike Tyson fight and met up there with Zip, his nephew “Baby Lane” Anderson and other Crips. After the fight in the lobby, when Keffe D. heard his nephew “got stomped by Death Row”, they immediately planned to retaliate. Zip gave Keffe D. a .40-caliber Glock with Zip saying “it’s perfect timing.” Detective Kading opines that perhaps Zip was “talking about killing two birds with one stone, taking out Suge and Tupac as payback for the Baby Lane beating and in the process collecting Puffy’s million-dollar bounty? It was impossible to know for sure.” Keffe D. said that Zip left after giving them the gun. Orlando, Keffe D and two other Crips cruised the Las Vegas Strip in Orlando’s rented Cadillac and spotted Tupac’s "caravan." They pulled alongside the BMW driven by Suge Knight. Keffe D. was in the Cadillac’s front passenger seat with the Glock, prepared to shoot, but Tupac and the BMW were on the opposite side of the Cadillac. According to Keffe D., Orlando “was like, ‘Give it here’ and popped the dude.” Keffe D. told Detective Kading he never received Puffy’s promised payoff, although he thought Zip might have collected and not shared the loot. “If (Puffy) would have just given us half the money, I would have stayed strong,” Keffe said explaining why he was incriminating Puffy. Puffy has called all of this “pure fiction” and has stated he never even used Crips as security.
Detective Kading knew he could not “make a good legal case on the word of a criminal like Keffe D.” He tried to coerce Zip to corroborate the story by setting up a sting with Keffe D. However, Detective Kading’s superiors removed him from the case in 2009. Detective Kading surmises “it was almost as if, in some surreal way, Poole was right all along..the LAPD was trying to cover up the Biggie Smalls murder..... by undercutting the ability of its own investigators to make the case.” Since his confession to Detective Kading, Keffe D. has done several other interviews in which he repeated his confession and even has a book about it for sale on Amazon. Detective Kading says while the proffer session protected Keffe D.’s first confession, it does not protect the subsequent confessions such as the ones he has made “since on BET, VLAD T.V. and these other platforms ... those don't fall under the protection of his agreement."
Keffe D.'s recorded confession was used in a 2015 documentary called “Murder Rap: Inside the Biggie and Tupac murders”. The director of the documentary ventured “it seems like if you wanted to get away with murder, all you had to do was kill Tupac in 1996." Orlando denied killing Tupac and was never charged.
The Las Vegas Police Department states the case is an open investigation and will not comment further. Detective Kading states their lack of involvement is “embarrassing” in that “something isn’t being done at least to address those confessions" and Keffe D. is “boasting about it, and making money off of it and taunting law enforcement.”
Links:
https://news3lv.com/news/local/documented-confessions-result-in-calls-for-lvmpd-to-close-tupac-shakur-murder-case
https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/1997/03/tupac-shakur-rap-death
https://theundefeated.com/features/murder-of-tupac-shakur-not-a-complete-mystery/
https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2019/11/22/retired-lapd-detective-tupac-shakur-murder-solved-keffe-d-duane-davis/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Tupac_Shakur
https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/1997/03/tupac-shakur-rap-death
Neither Keffe D., Zip, Orlando nor anyone else has ever been charged with killing Tupac or Biggie. Zip died in 2012. Keffe D. is in prison on a marijuana distribution conviction. In 1998, Orlando was shot dead outside a Compton car wash over what police termed “a drug debt.” Orlando’s killer is serving three life terms. Afeni died in 2016. June 16 is Tupac’s birthday and he would have been 47 years old.
The Las Vegas police investigation into Tupac’s murder remains open.

...had to delete so many broken links over the years...i should have downloaded every youtube interview and re-upped, instead of it being removed over time https://web.archive.org/web/20150331201259/http://www.last.fm/group/Nas+Discography+with+Unreleased+Material/forum/231251/_/685242

• Nas - Slave to a Page: The Book of Rhymes https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006057139X (knew about this since 2009), 224 pages
  
• Nas blog: http://escobartheory.blogspot.com/2006/02/set-list.html
  
• AZ Says The Firm Album May Come Out With Or Without Dr. Dre https://youtu.be/OBcfcMlzdro
  
• NAS, GIL SCOTT-HERON & MUSIC VIDEOS https://hiphopdx.com/editorials/id.1492/title.thieves-vultures-nas-gil-scott-heron-music-videos
  
• MOBB DEEP & NAS TO COLLABORATE ON FULL-LENGTH LP, SAYS HAVOC https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.15279/title.mobb-deep-nas-to-collaborate-on-full-length-lp-says-havoc
  
• Nas - One love, Represent, memory lane ( live in Paris) https://youtu.be/Zi7KZMhXUQk
  
• KUBE 93 Eddie Francis interview with Nas https://youtu.be/7Gv4s7JN08k https://youtu.be/sBQDe2BNsso
  
• Nas Talks Importance Of Lost Tapes 2 https://youtu.be/3avfeAudB2k
  
• nas talks making peace with mobb deep's prodigy and about Prodigy's book https://www.mtv.com/video-clips/tftsc8/nas-talks-making-peace-with-mobb-deep-s-prodigy
  
• nas say the lost tapes 2 was delayed due to his label switch from sony to def jam https://www.mtv.com/video-clips/5185j5/nas-gives-a-less-than-i-greater-than-lost-tapes-2-less-than-i-greater-than-update
  
• NAS READY TO 'RECONNECT' WITH FRANK OCEAN FOR NEW ALBUM http://www.mtv.com/news/1700646/nas-frank-ocean-collaboration/
  
• nas wants new album to 'feel fresh' https://www.mtv.com/video-clips/4q1013/nas-wants-new-album-to-feel-fresh
  
• Outlaws talking about Nas and 2Pac: https://youtu.be/eepmiMk_f2o?t=240
  
• Nas Reveals Conversation w/ 2pac Right Before His Death (2006) https://youtu.be/JstLBFK3iSQ
  
• KC COLLINS, NAS and OMAR EPPS are In Too Deep https://youtu.be/emjeh2_PIiE
  
• Dead Presidents That Represent Nas https://web.archive.org/web/20150916233129/http://www.egotripland.com/dead-presidents-that-represent-nas/
  
• Nas cameo on Ticker https://youtu.be/diYuJYEwwAk
  
• Nas pre-Illmatic Interview : The Not So Lost https://youtu.be/CRE6UgJ4z0U https://youtu.be/0EgPEIVR9xs https://youtu.be/NMHOjiDL2yY https://youtu.be/kmQtjrbJZLw
  
• NaS - Interview & Freestyle On The Dogg Pound (02.19.1994) https://youtu.be/lI_ratWBXP8
  
• Nas -- The Making Of Illmatic https://youtu.be/ZQkAclA6f7M
  
• 1999 interview https://youtu.be/1hoZgks2CnQ
  
• NAS IN QUEENSBRIDGE WITH IRV GOTTI https://youtu.be/9EMkuuGG7Hk
  
• The 411 Knowledge & Entertainment Show with Nas 2002 https://youtu.be/yrwR35GAEfQ
  
• NAS GOD'S SON INTERVIEW 2003 https://youtu.be/LP3i_iVHcyE
  
• NAS WITH AN ADVICE FOR UPCOMING RAPPERS (Nas Interview, On hip-hop and his generation) https://youtu.be/MNFfOnV7eNw
  
• HOT 97 SJ History- Nas Interview https://youtu.be/PbfRMu60hrU
  
• Nas - Tim Westwood https://youtu.be/hVoncCpXMS0 https://youtu.be/d-qG3-dXrFc
  
• Nas speaks on the making of "If I Ruled the World" https://youtu.be/tAOE9ffQdbQ
  
• Writing Rhymes from The Art of 16 Bars DVD https://youtu.be/NMXOOaWhMdA?t=63
  
• Nas interview by PP2G https://youtu.be/VWj1AqvsRu0
  
• Nas "Be A Nigger Too" NYC Screening https://youtu.be/MZup68nyYTo
  
• Nas talks: beef with 50 cent and how hip hop is dead https://youtu.be/FtZ0Z_i75is
  
• NAS SAYS NEW ALBUM IS HIS BEST https://youtu.be/rY9IGUDJcak
  
• NAS says Hip Hop is barely breathing! https://youtu.be/OrmAClXvglg
  
• Nas Co-Signs Jon Connor https://youtu.be/fd9wTlUwST4
  
• Jay-Z & Nas Interview https://youtu.be/MY7j2q5MP18 https://youtu.be/SsHJdahVr9M https://youtu.be/7Fo7RX9Q__Y
  
• Nas talks about why US artists don't perform in Africa much https://youtu.be/jI5VZBHoNKI
  
• Nas talks beefs Jim Jones 50 cent Oprah, new album https://youtu.be/5F4YPYfDt-k
  
• "CUT Obamas Balls off?" Nas Reacts to Jesse Jackson https://youtu.be/AnLra64GX-Q
  
• Nas gets tattooed by Brandon Bond with Kelis and Malcom X https://youtu.be/QEI0ZCPbEK4 https://www.tattoosera.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/61.jpg
  
• Nas interview at Samsung AT&T Summer Krush concert https://youtu.be/GjhM3memi-I
  
• Executive Producer: Nas & Keri Hilson talk about collaborating on "Hero" https://youtu.be/jgGRCp42wDY
  
• Hip Hop Legend: Nas https://youtu.be/PZlFpgfiAqk
  
• BEST OF BOTH OFFICES: NAS SUPPORTS RIK CORDERO & MISS INFO https://youtu.be/PYtXqZ0LBz8
  
• NaS Wants Virginia to Vote https://youtu.be/FNQWm5S0aik
  
• Wendy Williams NAS interview https://youtu.be/X2BBzxIvXVk
  
• BEST OF BOTH OFFICES: NAS TALKS MORE "MESSY" JESSE JACKSON https://youtu.be/X2BBzxIvXVk
  
• Nas speaks about Drake, J Cole, Jay Electronica https://youtu.be/I7VWbBvBev4
  
• Best Of Both Offices: Nas speaks on his past albums.... https://youtu.be/xr64_AXInIU
  
• Best Of Both Offices: Nas Answers Bootlegging https://youtu.be/gflbsJNRjVI
  
• BEST OF BOTH OFFICES: NAS & GREEN LANTERN TALKS (PART 1) https://youtu.be/0RSmDOAFzYQ
  
• Best Of Both Offices: Nas talks NIGGER Part II https://youtu.be/mgIsOIqLc0w
  
• Best Of Both Offices: Nas talks NIGGER Part III: Final Blog https://youtu.be/tLr-xMPQzGU
  
• BEST OF BOTH OFFICES: NAS PROTEST OUTTAKES (TALKS TO MEDIA) https://youtu.be/EdhuZBD5HUY
  
• Nas Interview My Swag Magazine x T.T.S Radio https://youtu.be/KnadtSchAiY
  
• Fuse - #1 Countdown Hip Hop: Nas https://youtu.be/ZHwWfwiIbuk
  
• Dj Envy interviews Nas https://youtu.be/dGH2Zsgsz3c
  
• Foxxhole Radio with Nas https://youtu.be/F68XDynUZbI https://youtu.be/slnyYHWZJQU https://youtu.be/NCcuQlkrIfU
  
• Video Hits Interview with NAS https://youtu.be/BlGiSZnzkiY https://youtu.be/Y5doU2FoJM8
  
• Nas on the Cipha / Rosenberg Experiance https://youtu.be/5I9dobcNVRM
  
• HOT 97- Angie Martinez Interviews Nas https://youtu.be/F0w3LL5bZhE
  
• Nas Angie Martinez Interview https://youtu.be/U5FPlk1vfSI https://youtu.be/v0vJWvJxiag
  
• Nas gets illmatic on rise of Southern Hip-Hop & growth of Hip-Hop culture https://youtu.be/92T1pk0VB3c
  
• NAS INTERVIEW WITH DJ SEMTEX https://youtu.be/_iOevhKkI4s
  
• Nas Speaks On Africa, What Keeps Him Making Music & If Black America Needs More Leaders https://youtu.be/GCzFzCA0YUE
  
• Bionce Talks to Nas https://youtu.be/ry-oaBm1AsA
  
• NAS interview with Fila https://youtu.be/EgLaq8-uLk8
  
• Nas: Made millions as a Hip-Hop Entrepreneur. Tech money over Teks & honeys! Business Mindset. https://youtu.be/IU8YO7zwdWI
  
• Nas on Writing & Directing. Created all my videos, never got credit!" https://youtu.be/A9nF9G9uMag
  
• Nas Ether's Bill O'Reilly & Fox News https://youtu.be/Hj_cvdcI9cI
  
• Nas & ColorOfChange.org Give 620,000 Petitions to Fox News https://youtu.be/asmS17e3Nqk
  
• Nas Meets the Press at Fox News Protest https://youtu.be/XE2PKXkBDQM
  
• Nas Wears "Nigger" Shirt To Grammys https://youtu.be/YXorCBSu9bc
  
• Nas Interview With The Hip Hop Chronicle https://youtu.be/nxowUfnPwK0
  
• NAS INTERVIEW SNIPPET https://youtu.be/dgaXBI3PLxE
  
• Nas Breaks Down His Open Letter To The Teen Killers Of Chicago Honor Student! https://youtu.be/WC7WSEuqZyI
  
• NAS; Open Letter to Young Warriors...BRILLIANT!! https://youtu.be/eKBjbgqLLfc
  
• Xfm Rinse Interview - Nas https://youtu.be/MEGxOzDkohE https://youtu.be/ZE6vjZNBhX4 https://youtu.be/wnzkDd7N8eE
  
• Bootleg Kev and Nas on Hot 97.5 https://youtu.be/ck1veFCxb8k
  
• BMI Nas Interview https://youtu.be/2ms2Akx29cg
  
• Nas at 2010 BMI Songwriter's Panel https://youtu.be/D-DTJzz5UeE
  
• Nas Interview With Bonnaroo.com at Bonnaroo 2010 https://youtu.be/9cwT_o8f_6Q
  
• Nas talks to Funk Flex about Kelis's reaction to his Album Cover https://youtu.be/ptpGrjqSVWs
  
• tim westwood https://youtu.be/GjNxB1jJx3w https://youtu.be/CI17Nf_etZ8 https://youtu.be/gOkLJ2ouv5g
  
• Nas and Damian Marley talk Distant Relatives, Africa + more https://youtu.be/pvP19lsKQGw
  
• Nas and Damian Marley on Knaan, Nneka and media https://youtu.be/2yhujFaclTc
  
• Rap-Up TV Interviews Nas & Damian Marley https://youtu.be/6Yam53Yt_XY
  
• Nas & Damien Marley sit w/DJ Skee For An Intimate Interview @ KIIS FM Studios (Distant Relatives) https://youtu.be/ygY17TVk3yQ
  
• okayplayer Nas and Damian Marley Interview https://youtu.be/iPEftW9pq2w https://youtu.be/mxyxInNIjMs
  
• Nas & Damian Marley - "Distant Relatives" (Preview) (Comu NaS - Oficial) https://youtu.be/o9cdr20qRjc
  
• Nas and Damian Marley Exclusive Interview (August 2010) https://youtu.be/i-JACya0DP0
  
• Interview: Damian Marley & Nas @ SummerJam 7/3/2010 https://youtu.be/Oayhc01YnnI
  
• Nas/Damian Marley Listening Session presented by Digiwaxx https://youtu.be/6QB5sOJ8bio https://youtu.be/fUNfmpbAL_s
  
• Nas And Damien Marley Talk About The U.S. Revoking Reggae Artists Visa https://youtu.be/NjVdxHAK-gE
  
• Nas And Damien Marley Explain How They Came Together https://youtu.be/n7Ej3HQGMSU
  
• Nas x Damian Marley x LA Leakers: Nas on Hip Hop https://youtu.be/Xdb2ZzdO0sI
  
• HeadCount - Nas and Damian Marley Talk About Musical Activism https://youtu.be/ugxhXi0yzto
  
• Jay Electronica speaks on Nas https://youtu.be/XHbj6bQJgsg
  
• Nas - U.B.R. (Unauthorized Biography Of Rakim) (video) https://youtu.be/eOI3cz9RsFg
  

From early track listings of "Distant Relatives": Unreleased Tracks on the lookout:

1. Intro (Something New) [2:01] (prod. Damian Marley)
   
2. Revolutionary [4:54] (prod. Damian Marley)
   
3. Belief Is Key [4:03] (prod. Damian Marley)
   
4. Black Horizon feat. K'naan [3:45] (prod. Damian Marley)
   
5. Our Generation feat. Joss Stone & Stevie Wonder [4:58] (prod. Damian Marley)
   
6. Empowerment [2:38] (prod. Stephen Marley)
   
7. AID [4:03] (prod. K'naan & Damian Marley)
   
8. Lets End It (Poverty) feat. K'naan [3:58] (prod. 9th Wonder & Damian Marley)
   
9. The Earth feat. Bob Marley [6:20] (prod. Salaam Remi, Damian Marley & Stephen Marley)
   

[UK Bonus Track] 14. Black Man's Paper feat. Erykah Badu [3:40] (prod. Afry)...wow, a sequel to "White Man's Paper," both unreleased?
[iTunes Bonus Track] 15. Weed On feat. Snoop Dogg [2:28] (prod. Damian Marley)
Snoop Dogg : "I'm down with you, Nas. Call me if you need a verse."
From early track listings of "Nigger": Unreleased Tracks on the lookout:

1. I Have No Name (Intro) (Produced by Salaam Remi
   
2. Moses (Produced by Sean C & LV)
   
3. Gangstas Don’t Die f/ Rick Ross & Jadakiss (Produced by Cool & Dre)
   
4. Janine f/ Chris Brown (Produced by Salaam Remi & Nas)
   
5. Miles Away (Produced by Jay Electronica)
   
6. Shout Outs f/ Ice Cube, DJ Premier, Naomi Campbell, Gil Scott Heron, Chuck D, Spike Lee & KRS-One
   

"America's Top Brothel"
Ice Cube : "I'm totally open to working with him. I just got back in town, I'm looking for him to reach out. I think me and Nas are, in a lot of ways, mirror images of each other. We try to make street knowledge and connect the streets with the politics of today. That's always a challenge. If we don't get together [on his album], we gotta tour together."

• FEATURE: Nas, The Genesis https://www.xxlmag.com/feature-nas-the-genesis/
  
• old Nas blog http://still-nas.blogspot.com/
  
• NAS TALKS BIGGIE & PAC BEEF, TIGER WOODS BEING A COON AND MORE! https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.6786/title.nas-talks-biggie-pac-beef-tiger-woods-being-a-coon-and-more
  
• NAS BIG UPS JAY ELECTRONICA https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.6651/title.nas-big-ups-jay-electronica
  
• Ron Brownz and Nas https://web.archive.org/web/20090601232036/http://allhiphop.com/stories/features/archive/2009/01/28/20816814.aspx
  
• The Semantics of Nas https://nymag.com/guides/summe2008/47971/
  
• Rosenberg's Flip Cam Diary feat. Nas, Q-Tip & Osi Umenyiora https://youtu.be/DH6G50AM77E
  
• Nas…The Stan Files https://king-mag.com/nasir-jonesthe-stan-files/ https://king-mag.com/nasthe-stan-files-part-two/ https://king-mag.com/nasthe-stan-files-part-three/
  
• KING Legacy: Nasir Jones https://king-mag.com/king-legacy-nasir-jones/ https://king-mag.com/king-legacy-nasir-jones-part-two/
  
• nas on nick cannon's show http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4z2qg_nas-on-nick-cannon-show_music
  

Here's the number of times Nas collaborated with producers someone else compiled (old):
25) L.E.S., 19) Salaam Remi, 12) Poke & Tone "The Trackmasters", 8) DJ Premier, 8) Chucky Thompson, 6) Alvin West, 6) Nas, 5) Large Professor, 5) Dame Grease
3 Havoc, The Alchemist, stic.man, will.i.am
2 Dr. Dre, J. Myers, Kanye West, Live Squad, Lo Ground, Mark Batson, Nashiem Myrick, Q-Tip, Ron Browz, Scott Storch, Stargate, Timbaland, Top General Sounds, Wyldfyer
1 Agile, Alicia Keys, Baby Paul, Bernado Williams, Black, Buckwild, Carlos Broady, Chris Webber, Claudio Cueni, Cool & Dre, D. Moet, Dave Atkinsons, Devo Springsteen, DJ Green Lantern, Dustin Moore, Eminem, Eric Hudson, Hangmen 3 Productions, Herb Middleton, Jamel Ergetten, Jay Electronica, Kirk Goddy, Lofey, Mark Ronson, Megahertz, Michael Herring, Mike Risko, Nut, Pete Rock, Precison, Pretty Boy, Polow Da Don, Rashad Smith, Rich Nice, Staff, Swizz Beatz, The Game, Toomp

• Raekwon & JD Era - Dirty Water (Nas Nasty Remix) https://youtu.be/C8lSWZywe0A
  
• Busta Rhymes Ft Reek Da Villain -- Nasty (Remix) [No Tags] https://youtu.be/hjvLm9iIye8
  
• Raekwon & Nas - The Rich & Black Chronicles [Pt. 2] (@nas, @raekwon, @GonjaSensai https://youtu.be/QF6Rw_xxdnM
  
• WILL NAS KEEP HIS WORD WITH RAEKWON ON "C.L.P.2? https://youtu.be/35zcJkx1SRc
  
• Ghetto Dreams Behind The Scenes https://youtu.be/mWyMSe0cWpY
  
• Nas Performs at Paul Rosenbergs 40th birthday https://youtu.be/l0Z7CEL96ko
  
• Nas Visits BET's 106 & Park http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s1.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s2.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s3.html
  
• Nas - interview on hip hop is dead https://youtu.be/ZrJ791mEoMk
  
• Nas - BET interview with Jay-Z regarding Beef https://youtu.be/TF1-G-r27E8
  
• Common feat. Nas - Behind the Scenes of the "Ghetto Dreams" Video https://youtu.be/KuWa1DNwNTA
  
• Nas - Made You Look Rock the Bells 2011 (Governors Island, NY 09/03/11) https://youtu.be/jICpirAUXik
  
• Nas Speaks https://youtu.be/RrgbeeJ8Rjs
  
• Rakim Speaks https://youtu.be/IY2U3CReRyQ
  
• Olu speaks https://youtu.be/BaGiEcULGfc
  
• nas interview https://youtu.be/LJsro08y23U
  
• premo on nas is like https://youtu.be/FQG309A0zx4
  
• premo on nas https://youtu.be/7r8xsUldKUg
  
• Nas Preps Video for First Single Off New Album https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/nas-preps-video-for-first-single-off-new-album-235529/
  
• NAS ACCUSES DEF JAM OF SKIMPING ON LOST TAPES: VOL. 2 BUDGET http://www.mtv.com/news/1649508/nas-accuses-def-jam-of-skimping-on-lost-tapes-vol-2-budget/
  
• behind the scenes "Nasty" https://youtu.be/5eJvkVC_KuE https://youtu.be/ABNTbd53jRQ https://youtu.be/L3xui_I7w9s https://youtu.be/O5vxx9XMqoQ https://youtu.be/wtW-VSuomxc https://youtu.be/3GilarnF7lc https://youtu.be/aISvxAz4W-Q
  
• Reebok Classics Presents: Nas https://youtu.be/VsgCJGtkjX0
  
• Nas remembers 9/11 http://viacom.aerva.com/
  
• distant relatives https://www.facebook.com/DistantRelatives https://youtu.be/Hr1qhRUQIvQ https://youtu.be/ikYBSjJgGQo https://youtu.be/3_LsdOUSnOY https://youtu.be/lSsG3PJ-68I https://youtu.be/tHTlOOn6qsc
  
• Nas Talks: Aiding Somali Children, New Album ‘Life Is Good’, Fatherhood, Marriage And More https://www.huffpost.com/entry/exclusive-nas-interview_n_934433
  
• NAS TALKS 'DISTANT RELATIVES', SAYS KANYE WEST WANTS TO PRODUCE NEXT ALBUM https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.11765/title.nas-talks-distant-relatives-says-kanye-west-wants-to-produce-next-album
  
• https://hiphopdx.com/news/id.15629/title.dj-premier-hints-at-collaboration-with-nas-for-life-is-good
  
• Nas Inks Deal for Memoir https://www.nbcnewyork.com/local/nas-memoir-nas-book-nasty-life-is-good/2127635/
  
• Bangladesh Talks Recording With Nas http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.11815/title.bangladesh-talks-recording-with-nas-for-new-lp
  
• Producer Kane Beatz Confirms New Work with Nas http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.14003/title.producer-kane-beatz-confirms-new-work-with-nas-talks-breakthrough
  
• Odd Future Working With Nas http://www.pitchfork.com/news/42970-odd-future-working-with-nas-pusha-t/
  
• Professor Michael Eric Dyson Says Nas Is A Genius https://youtu.be/oFuiU2IKSNw
  
• Nas live on the phone http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00hp9hn
  
• rock the bells http://thephoenix.com/Boston/music/126371-nas-rocks-the-bells/
  
• Nas Says "Lost Tapes II" Is Still A Possibility, Speaks On "Life Is Good" Collaborators http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.16791/title.nas-says-lost-tapes-ii-is-still-a-possibility-speaks-on-life-is-good-collaborators
  
• Firm Interview Nas, Foxy, AZ & Nature in 1997 https://youtu.be/ZDrwZ0hI4TU
  
• J. Cole Becomes Speechless W Nas Encounter, I Tried To Bow Down In His Presence https://youtu.be/20Sf6wAPEd4?t=260
  
• LMAO TMZ has some Nas footage https://youtu.be/6fENUPIT3D4
  
• Mary J Blige ft Nas http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.15782/title.mary-j-blige-enlists-beyonce-nas-more-for-my-life-ii-the-journey-continues
  
• Nas Wants 'Nasty' To Bring 'Realness' Back To The Game http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1671094/nas-nasty-single.jhtml
  
• Nas Revisits A 'Great Era' On New Single 'Nasty' http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1665865/nas-nasty-single.jhtml
  
• Nas 38th B-day http://rapradar.com/2011/09/15/nas-38th-birthday-dinner-photos/
  
• DJ Premier Speaks On The Background Story Of Nas' "Memory Lane” http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.16894/title.dj-premier-speaks-on-the-background-story-of-nas-memory-lane
  
• DJ Premier on Will Sessions' "Elmatic Instrumentals" https://youtu.be/KYNptz4gm28
  
• Angie Marinez Hot 97 9/2/2011 https://youtu.be/7mK-J61hBao
  
• Hot97 Labor Day BBQ Hosted By Angie Martinez, Mary J, Usher & Nas (9/4/11) https://youtu.be/1FLKd4ETKMU
  
• Nas' Illmatic (33 1/3 series) http://www.amazon.com/Nas-Illmatic-33-1-3/dp/0826429076/ref=pd_sim_b1
  
• A TRIBUTE TO TUPAC BY NAS https://youtu.be/UQUdjwX_BCo
  
• Don Cannon x Cookin Soul present Nas - Lost Tapes 1.5 Remixtape https://youtu.be/C33DleR2ib
  
• Happy Birthday, Nas: His Dominant Discography http://rap.about.com/b/2011/09/14/happy-birthday-nas-his-dominant-discography.htm http://rap.about.com/od/nas/tp/NasDiscography.htm http://rap.about.com/od/previews/fNasNigger.htm http://rap.about.com/od/reviews/fNasHipHopIsDead.htm http://rap.about.com/od/top10albums/ss/EssentialAlbums_10.htm http://rap.about.com/od/songreviews/gNasWhereYallAt.htm http://rap.about.com/od/songreviews/gNasBeAN-ggerToo.htm http://rap.about.com/od/songreviews/gBlackRepublican.htm http://rap.about.com/od/reviews/fNasDamianMarleyDistantRelative.htm http://rap.about.com/od/artistsmz/p/NasProfile.htm http://rap.about.com/od/songreviews/gNasHero.htm
  
• Jimmy Valentime - Take It In Blood (Nas Salute http://mobbdeen.tumblr.com/post/10167301659/jimmy-valentime-take-it-in-blood-nas-salute
  
• Chip Tha Ripper "Like That" https://youtu.be/MBuJQSKYXfQ uses nas' Take it in blood
  
• Nas Writing Memoir "It Ain't Hard To Tell," Releasing Fall 2012 http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.16833/title.nas-writing-memoir-it-aint-hard-to-tell-releasing-fall-2012
  
• "Axe Lounge Performance" http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.8595/title.nas--axe-lounge-performance
  
• Amy Winehouse features Nas http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.16113/title.amy-winehouse-found-dead-in-her-london-apartment
  
• Mobb Deep Confirm Nas Collabo On Black Cocaine http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1673252/mobb-deep-nas-black-cocaine-collaboration.jhtml
  
• Nas & Friends At Webster Hall In NYC https://youtu.be/p7UWx_-95zo
  
• Nas & Damian Marley - Dispear -Unedit (Live at Wembley Arena, London) http://vimeo.com/30810907
  
• 10 Nasty Nas x Salaam Remi Joints http://upnorthtrips.com/post/11731954131/upnorthtrips-presents-the-10s-mpc-mc-producer
  
• nas vimeo http://vimeo.com/nasirjones
  
• Salaam Remi on 'Thief's Theme' vs 'Hip Hop Is Dead' (Interview) https://youtu.be/Cfjf7aNU1aw
  
• Salaam Remi talks unreleased Sade remixes ft. Nas + when leaking music creates issues https://youtu.be/7hcyXG7J9k4
  
• nas first interview? https://youtu.be/dXSjpe9HS0U
  
• Nas and Biggie https://youtu.be/EO22bfWx4fc
  
• at winter X games https://youtu.be/3FicCKQpSlU https://youtu.be/0CP206L6sd4
  
• 10 things about Illmatic http://www.complex.com/music/2012/04/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-nas-illmatic/nas-did-ny-state-of-mind-in-one-take
  
• premier talks about nas proj https://youtu.be/oIOsQtL7ueU
  
• nas on rock the bells http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m43kbgYDZC1rqc3juo1_500.jpg
  
• most his news are on his twitter and tumblr http://twitter.com/#!/Nas http://nassays.tumblr.com
  
• Nas Talks Making "The Don" Record & NFL Draft https://youtu.be/xvF_9LMseJ0
  
• Nas' rap genius account http://rapgenius.com/nas
  
• Nas' favorite 25 albums http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/nas-25-favorite-albums/
  
• Complex: return of the Don http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/nas-cover-june-july-2012-issue http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/nas-cover-story
  
• Noisemakers with Peter Rosenberg : Nas (from SXSW 2012) https://youtu.be/aXIl1O2o1lA
  
• Rap Cameos That Pack Some Electric Punches http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/12/arts/music/rick-rosss-rich-forever-brims-with-cameos.html?_r=1
  
• one love interview https://youtu.be/K4J4d88Xij8
  
• halftime interview https://youtu.be/5g5paIvKj0E
  
• vevo news interview https://youtu.be/VhOqQFZOKao https://youtu.be/O61v5o89fzs
  
• Nas Willing To Cut A Check To Help Concert Promoter Return To America http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.18173/title.nas-willing-to-cut-a-check-to-help-concert-promoter-return-to-america
  
• 10 Years After Ether: The COMPLETE Nas Vs. Jay-Z http://planetill.com/?p=33318&page=1 http://planetill.com/?p=33318&page=2 http://planetill.com/?p=33318&page=3 http://planetill.com/?p=33318&page=4 http://planetill.com/?p=33318&page=5
  
• Ether and reuniting w/dr dre http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.17983/title.nas-talks-ether-reuniting-with-dr-dre-on-hustlers
  
• Nas got the #1 spot on rap genius http://rapgenius.com/posts/Top-100-rap-songs-of-2011
  
• Nas Sells First-Ever Painting For $14,000 During Concert http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.17820/title.nas-sells-first-ever-painting-for-14000-during-concert
  
• Common recites Nas verse (life's a bitch) http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.9135/title.common-vs-nas-lifes-a-bitch-vs-series
  
• Better than Big: Nas and Amy Winehouse’s Tasteful Posthumous Duet http://passionweiss.com/2011/11/17/better-than-big-nas-and-amy-winehouses-tasteful-posthumous-duet/
  
• nas in party legends https://youtu.be/ai5NwsRImo8
  
• nas westly snipes grace jones https://youtu.be/3zCkeop9Avo
  
• on the upcoming album http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.18772/title.nas-common-q-tip-rumored-to-be-forming-as-super-group-the-standard http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.18090/title.exile-rumored-to-be-producing-for-nas-life-is-good
  
• Nas ft French Montana NY Giants Superbowl After-party 1 Oak NYC https://youtu.be/slgmdw7iomU
  
• Elzhi "Fresh to Death" (on Nas, Wu-Tang, J Dilla) https://youtu.be/qGF6ZIw0yUA
  
• New Jersey Concert Promoters Kidnapped In Africa Over Nas No-Show http://gothamist.com/2012/01/09/new_jersey_concert_promoters_kidnap.php
  
• Nas Resolves Controversy Over Concert in Africa http://www.mtv.com/videos/news/753729/nas-resolves-controversy-over-concert-in-africa.jhtml
  
• 106 and park vids...distant relatives damien marley, amy winehouse, heavy d http://search.bet.com/topics/n/nas.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/exclusives/nas-the-don-vipeek-nas-106.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/exclusives/nas-heavy-d-106-and-park.html http://www.bet.com/video/musicnews/face-to-face/nas-steve-stoute-sxsw-jabari-s1.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/nas-106-and-park-910.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park801-nas-s1.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s4.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s3.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s2.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/106park749-nas-s1.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/106guestrewind/nas-damien-marley-05-17-10-228159.html http://www.bet.com/video/106andpark/highlights/nas-calls-in-from-australia-213426.html
  
• behind the scenes daughters https://youtu.be/LsDg2QfuZU4
  
• at supperclub https://youtu.be/J28ZzaHLJAY
  
• it was written tribute remake http://www.datpiff.com/Avatar-The-Articulate-It-Was-Bitten-Nas-It-was-written-remaketribute-mixtape.339438.html
  
• album booklet note from untitled http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Untitled_Nas_album&oldid=225893939#Album_Booklet_Note
  
• the making of IWW http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/the-making-of-nas-it-was-written/ Shootouts pt 2 Small World pt 2 If I ruled the world - “Nas did a couple of those verses over because it just didn’t work in the concept of the record"
  
• Nas & The Roots - Nasty (Live on Fallon) http://mobbdeen.tumblr.com/post/19894855860/song-of-the-day-nas-the-roots-nasty-live-on
  
• K'Naan Discusses Nas' Comments About Africa And Explains Why Other Rappers Backgrounds "Can't Hold A Candle" To His http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/interviews/id.1844/title.knaan-discusses-nas-comments-about-africa-and-explains-why-other-rappers-backgrounds-cant-hold-a-candle-to-his
  
• The Don, Nas hosts Supperclub in Hollywood http://www.vlexphotos.com/Events/Club-Nightlife/NAS-hosts-Supperclub-052212/23132873_7HDXDf#!i=1863497513&k=N2PtXJb
  
• pictures http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsfa7lJNjU1qc0trjo1_500.jpg http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyzwsfW7Q91qzr7woo1_500.jpg http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyqycvPET31r8nqooo1_500.jpg http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m13asb8kVg1qdudjxo1_500.jpg http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ignzmxLy1qdlfp4o1_500.gif http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vnntI3zM1qfl5qxo1_500.jpg http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt50grsUIg1qzbwkjo1_500.jpg http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m30fyq7CnS1qzr7woo1_500.jpg http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4rquhaHV81qemjsio1_500.jpg
  
• "Life Is Good" Album Cover Revealed https://youtu.be/lBT436mOO5k
  
• nas eminem freestyle http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.10574/title.nas-eminem-something-from-nothing-the-art-of-rap-freestyles
  
• the.LIFE Files Sits Down With Nas!! https://youtu.be/vhrZyVL42oQ
  
• Nas & Michael Burnett Deconstruct Jay-Z's 2002 Mock Lynching http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.10602/title.nas-michael-burnett--deconstruct-jay-zs-2002-mock-lynching
  
• DJ Premier Addresses Copycat Producers, Updates On Full Album With Nas http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20022/title.dj-premier-addresses-copycat-producers-updates-on-full-album-with-nas
  
• Nas On Teaching Himself To Memorize His Rhymes https://youtu.be/WAk2JbTf-KI
  
• Nas On The Death of The Notorious B.I.G. https://youtu.be/TJhKM4QwzGg
  
• The Crucifixion Scene From Nas' Hate Me Now https://youtu.be/tKrdvUsN_lU
  
• Nas Explains Why He Moved His Mother Into To His Home https://youtu.be/QHOmM-57TYM
  
• Source of Nas Intellectual Curiosity https://youtu.be/AUAjE6gJXfU
  
• Nas Brings Out Lauryn Hill At Hot 97's Summer Jam 2012 http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.19971/title.nas-brings-out-lauryn-hill-at-hot-97s-summer-jam-2012
  
• large professor tells all http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/large-professor-tells-all-the-stories-behind-his-classic-records-part-i/
  
• No-ID http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/interview-no-id-speaks-on-producing-for-nas-life-is-good
  
• SXSW Nas and Steve Stoute https://youtu.be/qv6F1qiilGk https://youtu.be/98Tlh-i63hI https://youtu.be/EupqIB33LJ8 https://youtu.be/Mi-2UKD4Smo https://youtu.be/cpseyt43Lnw
  
• rza http://www.complex.com/music/2011/12/interview-the-rza-talks-headphones-hollywood-and-working-on-watch-the-throne
  
• scarface az jay electronica being collabos http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.16791/title.nas-says-lost-tapes-ii-is-still-a-possibility-speaks-on-life-is-good-collaborators
  
• Hate Me Now (feat. P Diddy) LIVE 1999 https://youtu.be/clfWPs_XdT4
  
• Ralph McDaniels interview - album release party - video music box https://youtu.be/RgK0sYlg7PM
  
• HOT 97 SJ History Interview https://youtu.be/PbfRMu60hrU
  
• Interview in 1999 https://youtu.be/1hoZgks2CnQ
  
• Interview https://youtu.be/nbSC-ayiqq0
  
• The Braveheart Clique @ The Puerto Rican Day Parade 3 https://youtu.be/4sdw79wsQpE
  
• Bravehearts in Miami (Rare Throwback) https://youtu.be/T1jzHxQB8z0
  
• "MEMORY LANE" FROM THE QB CHRONICLES DVD https://youtu.be/W1w2BcoswYE
  
• SITS DOWN WITH STREETHEAT FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW https://youtu.be/qhPn6aCpRbA
  
• Affirmative Action The Apollo Hip Hop https://youtu.be/oO3wlwafS9Q
  
• Miss Jones Interview During The Battle With Jay https://youtu.be/MF6VO-2djGE https://youtu.be/hfYQ-obiuho https://youtu.be/bi-tBlWUsmw https://youtu.be/eRML0xyO03M
  
• Laeann Amos Interview https://youtu.be/cNHvK77lXBU
  
• The 411 Knowledge & Entertainment Show with Nas 2002 https://youtu.be/yrwR35GAEfQ
  
• King Tech interview https://youtu.be/IYJDyUTqy5E
  
• Nas, Damian, Kool Herc, Rakim & more https://youtu.be/j9ohs_vcNAc
  
• Kool G. Rap Talks About Nas https://youtu.be/AGMJ5It5rX8
  
• Steve Stoute Talks The Music Biz, Nas & Hip Hop Beef! https://youtu.be/_dps5tBPXvY
  
• Video Studio Session Common & Nas Speak About Collaborating On "Ghetto Dreams" Produced by No I D https://youtu.be/vQ26_lfoE8g
  
• Funkmaster Flex interview the day Stillmatic dropped https://youtu.be/A3jq1gRtHzk https://youtu.be/uZljllp-_BI https://youtu.be/76iPb3b1h8A https://youtu.be/t7xwzuxUuYo https://youtu.be/SSKLdJvTLhE
  
• Hot97 interview2 11.8.06 www.thesurfacenews.blogspot.com https://youtu.be/tAvBaran0b8
  
• Young Chris Revisits Jay & Nas Beef & Addresses Rumors Of Jay-Z taking his rhyme style https://youtu.be/CDRVMUm9AOs
  
• JUNGLE TALKIN HOODS & SETS. A MUST SEE FOR ALL HOODLUMS https://youtu.be/9Lzsv5TAv0E
  
• performing @ Love nightclub DC https://youtu.be/jtDNeUqxc5I
  
• Unreleased Interview 2002 https://youtu.be/OzxC7wRjqkE
  
• Interview (BET presents Nas) https://youtu.be/y4QlnWf-Bao https://youtu.be/tLVpqL4rKdU https://youtu.be/L93NDEO1d4Y
  
• Rap Genius + Nas Interview Preview - "Creep Move" https://youtu.be/SZHqG2xZ3aw
  
• Rap Genius Verified Explanation - Nas - "Take it in blood" https://youtu.be/fK39DhR1uUQ
  
• Rap Genius + NAS preview - WORD ASSOCIATION https://youtu.be/myM3v3QWdbA
  
• Hip Hop Legend: Nas https://youtu.be/PZlFpgfiAqk
  
• I Gave You Power (unofficial Music Video) https://youtu.be/UULaggrXSCc
  
• everything's on here: tim westwood interview, 12society interview, deluxe box set, pictures, listening party, live performances http://nassays.tumblr.com/
  
• The Return of Nelly Furtado (with Nas) http://passionweiss.com/2012/06/05/mobbdeen-the-return-of-nelly-furtado-with-nas/
  
• Warrior Song: The Sacred Fearlessness of Nasir Jones http://passionweiss.com/2012/05/31/warrior-song-the-sacred-fearlessness-of-nasir-jones/
  
• the.LIFE Files TV: Nas On President Obama, Lauryn Hill & Hip Hop In 2012 https://youtu.be/qHjvZWWrW-c
  
• Japan performance http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/videos/id.10631/title.nas-1500-or-nothin-japan-performance-footage
  
• Nas talks parenthood, using the 'N-word' on CNN https://youtu.be/ADyi-HdXFGA
  

other leaked track listings....

1. Life Is Good (Intro) (prod by J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League)
   
2. The Train (prod by No I.D.)
   
3. Black James Bond (prod by Salaam Remi)
   
4. Accidental Murderer (feat Rick Ross)
   
5. How It All Got Started****
   
6. Daughters (prod by No I.D.)
   
7. The Don (prod by Salaam Remi, Da Internz & Heavy D)
   
8. Nastalgia****
   
9. This Kind Of Love****
   
10. Summer On Smash (feat Miguel) (prod by Swizz Beatz)
    
11. Street Shit (prod by Swizz Beatz)
    
12. My Vantage****
    
13. Knighthood****
    
14. Nasty (prod by Salaam Remi)
    
15. Blazing Scriptures (feat AZ)****
    
16. Q.B. Confidential****
    

• kelis on nas album http://globalgrind.com/entertainment/kelis-responds-nas-life-good-album-cover-video-green-wedding-dress
  
• swizz has another track with nas not on album http://www.vibe.com/article/swizz-beatz-talks-producing-new-singles-nas-and-pusha-t
  
• npr interview http://www.npr.org/2012/07/20/157043285/nas-on-marvin-gayes-marriage-parenting-and-rap-genius?sc=tw&cc=twmp
  
• SPORTS STARS SALUTE NAS AT THE ESPY AWARDS http://www.rap-up.com/2012/07/19/rap-up-tv-sports-stars-salute-nas-at-the-espy-awards/
  
• Nas "Life Is Good" Live at Tammany Hall HOT 97 https://youtu.be/F2B6khl82EE
  
• Nina B - Somebody's Daughter (Nas Cover) [Video] http://www.leftovercake.com/2012/07/nina-b-somebodys-daughter-nas-cover-video/
  
• NY Times review http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/19/arts/music/new-nas-welcomes-the-nas-of-old.html?_r=2&ref=music
  
• rose lounge http://www.nasirjones.com/media/videos/12471/37321
  
• on rapgenius http://rapgenius.com/Nas http://rapgenius.com/posts/New-podcast-episode-8-nas
  
• hhdx review http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/album-reviews/id.1929/title.nas--life-is-good
  
• Ddotomen hinted that he recorded at the listening party back in june and got to hear "Street Shit," a track that didn't make the album. Who knows what quality of the track he has http://www.ddotomen.com/
  
• aggregate info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Is_Good_(Nas_album)
  
• the frank ocean lost track http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20494/title.nas-confirms-recording-lost-track-with-frank-ocean
  
• Nas Says "Illmatic" Was "Perfect" & That "Life Is Good" Is "Excellence" http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20478/title.nas-says-illmatic-was-perfect-that-life-is-good-is-excellence
  
• Nas Explains Why DJ Premier Didn't Appear On "Life Is Good" http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20502/title.nas-explains-why-dj-premier-didnt-appear-on-life-is-good
  
• 5 REASONS "LIFE IS GOOD" FOR NAS ON HIS NEW ALBUM http://www.vibe.com/article/5-reasons-life-good-nas-his-new-album
  
• Album Review: Nas – Life Is Good http://consequenceofsound.net/2012/07/album-review-nas-life-is-good/
  
• NAS TALKS 'LIFE IS GOOD,' WANTING EMINEM AND JAY-Z FOR "DAUGHTERS (REMIX)" http://www.vibe.com/node/97343
  
• Listening Event in NYC https://youtu.be/83P-XEjPJ6Q
  
• Cherry Wine feat. Amy Winehouse (Produced by Salaam Remi) http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/singles/id.21035/title.nas-f-amy-winehouse-cherry-wine-prod-salaam-remi
  
• Loco-Motive feat. Large Professor (Produced by No I.D.) http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/singles/id.20991/title.nas-f-large-professor-loco-motive-prod-no-id
  
• No Such Thing As White Jesus" (feat. Frank Ocean) http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20324/title.frank-ocean-says-his-collab-with-nas-was-lost-due-to-a-technical-issue
  
• (feat. AZ): It's likely they put together two songs, as Sosa would have probably requested a verse in return for the perpetually delayed Doe Or Die 2. http://www.2dopeboyz.com/2011/08/21/nas-az-in-the-studio/
  
• (prod. by S1): Remember that photo with S1 and Nas posing on No ID's doorstep? http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GdIhFQeZ_Tw/Thbs9ApLYiI/AAAAAAAADTM/J6SgYU1UDp0/s1600/nas-symbolic1.jpg
  
• (prod. No ID): Nas told Complex Magazine he completed ten songs with No ID. Life Is Good only boasted six total, so that leaves several collaboration unaccounted for. http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/interview-no-id-speaks-on-producing-for-nas-life-is-good
  
• (prod. Just Blaze): His infamous confrontation with Wesley Snipes at the Shaft movie premiere likely gave Nas the inspiration for this unreleased gem. https://youtu.be/OpyZf6aiCoo
  
• (prod. The Interz): It's entirely possible they recorded several songs with Nas that were scrapped before factory pressing. http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.18918/title.producers-da-internz-compare-nas-upcoming-album-to-it-was-written
  
• (prod. Large Professor): Extra P told us he and Nas recorded a handful of records for Life Is Good http://www.complex.com/music/2012/05/large-professor-tells-all-the-stories-behind-his-classic-records-part-i/
  
• (feat. Kanye West): - Nas was originally rumored to be featured on Kanye West's 'Christian Dior Denim Flow' along with Llyod Banks. We know that God's Son definitely spent time in Hawaii with Kanye during his Good Friday run.
  
• (prod. Q-Tip): Back in early 2010, Q-Tip claimed to be working on Nas' new album and considering forming a supergroup with Q-Tip and Common (The Standard). http://theurbandaily.com/615332/q-tip-producing-tracks-on-new-albums-by-nas-talib-kweli-kanye/
  
• "Street Shit" (prod. Swizz Beatz): This is the track everyone was raving about at the Life Is Good listening session. http://www.ddotomen.com/2012/06/15/nas-life-is-good-listening-session-review/
  
• AZ freestyle https://youtu.be/0cQ9Kxxs6GQ 'On The Real' beat
  
• Raekwon freestyle https://youtu.be/83oqOdQcVkE 'World is Yours' beat
  
• Daughters response http://www.djgreenlantern.tv/new-music-najee-letter-to-her-pops-nas-daughters-response
  
• large pro on locomotive beat https://youtu.be/84gmDf7hLcA
  
• Nas on biggie's sample http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20722/title.nas-recalls-wanting-to-sample-song-from-notorious-bigs-juicy
  
• Nas Recalls And Performs His First Rap http://www.complex.com/music/2012/08/video-nas-recalls-and-performs-his-first-rap
  
• How Nas Avoids Beefs https://youtu.be/bV6pPGPB_Gk
  
• Nas Looks Back at "Illmatic" https://youtu.be/-eowQh52aeY
  
• surviving the times http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/editorials/id.1938/title.surviving-the-times-the-adaptation-of-nas-through-the-eras
  
• Nas on people magazine http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m83k7fop2E1rqc3juo1_500.jpg
  
• Nas - Green Lantern Interview Life is Good https://youtu.be/BzLCTXeuyN0
  
• Nas Benji B interview on BBC 1 Radio https://youtu.be/Nx_d2fNraTM https://youtu.be/RcirJSWV5ss
  
• "We don't chase pop, pop chases us" https://youtu.be/ddkVczNkiho
  
• Nas Explains How He Went From 'Life's A Bitch' To 'Life Is Good' http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1690528/nas-life-is-good-album-lifes-a-bitch.jhtml
  
• cosmic kev interview http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20600/title.nas-discusses-daughters-raising-children-in-the-technology-era
  
• on kelis http://www.ddotomen.com/2012/07/17/nas-speaks-on-kelis-reaction-to-life-is-good-cove
  
• on illmatic http://www.ddotomen.com/2012/07/19/nas-looks-back-at-illmatic/
  
• 1st week http://rapgenius.com/posts/Life-is-good-is-the-1-album-in-the-country
  
• Interview: Nas Talks about DJ Premier, Life Is Good http://thedoubletruth.blogspot.com/2012/07/interview-nas-talks-about-dj-premier.html
  
• In the know http://www.xxlmag.com/news/2012/07/nas-plans-to-record-song-dedicated-to-his-son-shoot-video-for-bye-baby/
  
• jay electronica http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.20577/title.nas-says-jay-electronica-was-originally-supposed-to-produce-all-of-untitled
  
• Billboard Unveiling Over Midtown Tunnel NYC http://www.youtube.com/useNYCNastyNas
  
• Get On Down Records To Release Nas "Illmatic" Premium Collection http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.21570/title.get-on-down-records-to-release-nas-illmatic-premium-collection
  
• K'LA - Blame ft. Nas video https://youtu.be/En2WXexZhDY
  
• Queens story video http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhTav452Yn45CgY7PS
  
• BECOMING: Nas https://youtu.be/GxVAyFoo0p4 https://youtu.be/LGwY9VMLV3k https://youtu.be/EXObO09KJG8
  

...had to delete so many broken links over the years...i should have downloaded every youtube interview and re-upped, instead of it being removed over time https://web.archive.org/web/20150331201259/http://www.last.fm/group/Nas+Discography+with+Unreleased+Material/forum/231251/_/685242
recommend installing reddit enhancement suite when going through these links https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/reddit-enhancement-suite/kbmfpngjjgdllneeigpgjifpgocmfgmb?hl=en-US

Yesterday, I took the time to write out everything that seemed to apply to my being depressed and more or less crippled by the weight of that depression. I spent about an hour of my time re-hashing old traumas and bad decisions, and as I was close to finishing...My reddit app crashed and I lost it all.
Thankfully, a few kind redditors encouraged me to try again today. So this is attempt number 2 at sharing my abbreviated life story. I apologize if it’s too wordy, I’m known for not being able to tell short stories lol
So I want to start off by acknowledging the good in my life. I have a lot to be grateful for and happy about. I also believe my life has been pretty comfortable and easy compared to a lot of people I know. I have a family that is kind and caring (more on that below), I have amazing friends and acquaintances, and I even have a best friend I consider a brother. I am in good physical health for the most part. I have never had to go without food or warmth outside of the consequences of my own actions. I have 2 dogs that have literally been my heartbeat for the last few years. Without them I was nothing but a drunken mess, spending most of my time crying on the floor of my parents spare bedroom. They are literally why I get out of bed in the morning these days. I’m not ugly (not that it’s super important, but it’s not something affecting my confidence) and while I’m kind of awkward sometimes, I know I am a good conversationalist. I don’t have an issue finding common ground to relate to people most of the time, and making people comfortable enough to be 100% real around me is something I pride myself on. I have musical talent, a gift that has helped me through most of the hard times (also more on that below) and I’m not incompetent when it comes to using tools to create things that I need for my home, garden, or other random activities.
Okay, there’s some positives for you. I know its a duality. I know it’s not ALL bad. I have things to live for. I have reasons to fight and to hang on. That being said...I’m just gonna dive right into the events throughout my life that have (from my perspective) shaped the person I am today.
So first I think it’s important to talk about my family, because they are an underlying theme of a lot of the things I’m going to talk about. After that, I’m gonna dive into my story starting at my childhood.
My mom and dad are still together, and have been for over 30 years. I am 32, and my younger sister is 24. We are all kind to each other and love each other. My sister and I have always been super close, with a short period in our teens where we went different directions for a bit. My parents have always supported me in everything I’ve ever wanted to do. They never beat me or hit me, and always used their words to communicate my mistakes and short comings. That being said, my family is absolutely dysfunctional. My mom and dad are together, but their marriage is more like a couple of room mates who happen to have kids together. My dad has slept on the couch ever since I was about 14, and I don’t remember the last time I saw my parents kiss or flirt or anything like that. They get along really well these days for the most part, but there were some reallllllly rough spots in the past.
My dad is a very kind man, and he is very sociable. However, he is sort’ve like a frat guy that never grew up. He drinks beer every day, usually starting around 9 or 10 AM, and when he gets drunk it’s impossible to communicate with him. Pointing out that he’s drunk makes him really mad and never helps solve anything. He is not an abusive drunk, physically, though the case could be made for unintentional mental abuse. He’s a good guy with a good heart for the most part. But he always wanted to go party with his friends when I was a baby, and I have heard stories of my mother having to literally drag him out of bars before. He used to take me to the bar with him when I was super young; I only have dream-like memories of this. Nothing I can hold onto, but the flash of an image here and there if I concentrate. He never hit any of us or anything, but a majority of the arguments between him and my mom were his fault.
My mom is great honestly. She is the glue holding our family together. She has always been quirky, but she’s very very intelligent. She taught me to read by having me read “The tommyknockers” by stephen king as my first book LMAO!! She would read and I would follow and ask questions and slowly but surely I learned to read this way. I don’t remember ever not being able to read, so I know this happened when I was super young. This is probably the thing I am most grateful for in my whole life. I loved reading throughout my whole life, and only really slowed down after college attempt number 1 (more on that below). She always plays devils advocate (which I hate, but appreciate) in an attempt to get me to either out-debate her, or to just strengthen my own views. Mostly just to argue though it seems lol. She is the breadwinner in our family. She currently is the only person in our household working (my dad just randomly decided he was retiring this year even though he has no money saved, no income, and no plan) and while my dad sorta does a househusband kinda gig, he half asses it most days to the point that I personally see it as an insult to my mother. Especially since he’s spending her money on beer and then lying about how much and how often he drinks. (this has been a problem since before I was born). The one thing about my mom that has negatively affected our family, is that she is (now mostly recovered) a hoarder. Her mom, my grandmother is as well to a much more extreme degree. It didn’t start until I was about 8 or 9, and we moved into the house we currently live in. We moved because my sister was born and we needed more space, but it quickly began to just fill up with junk mail, unpacked boxes, trash, dirty dishes, and eventually animals. It was a zoo at one point. We had 11 cats, 3 dogs, a couple hamsters and guinea pigs, all of whiched pissed on the floors of the house pretty much indiscriminately. It was a huge issue for me as a teenager (albeit a petty one in retrospect) because I was so embarrassed to have people over to my house...and I smelled pretty bad sometimes because of the proximity of my clothes to random piles of piss or shit. It was bad for us and for the animals. The only other thing she ever really did that bothered me happened pretty much when the internet first came out. She would go to work, come home, get on the computer, and be on it til bedtime. She would get mad if she couldnt use the computer right away when she got home and we had to beg and plead to get a few minutes here and there of her time or to use the computer. Ultimately though, this didn’t affect me super negatively as much as it just annoyed me.
My sister….well really nothing negative to say here at all. She’s the best of us. The smartest, wisest, most successful so far, and just an inspiring and wonderful person to know. I love her to death and I couldn’t have asked for a better confidant and partner in crime during my childhood. I honestly can’t think of a single thing she has ever done or said other than regular kid stuff that has ever negatively affected me. She’s just great, y’all.
That’s a bit about us individually, and just know that as a family, we have been blessed in that we really do have each others backs when it matters, and we’ve never had to go without food, warmth, or comfort during hard times. We are truly a very lucky family. That being said, I mentioned the dysfunction. It’s hard to explain without me coming off as ungrateful, which is why I tried to list a lot of the positives up to this point. I have never had a guide in my life. I never had anyone who would talk to me about what life is and what I should be doing with it. I know a lot of parents cross many boundaries in trying to force their kids to do things, but my parents have always been reaction based, and are almost never proactive. If something wasn’t going wrong RIGHT THEN, it could be put off til later. For years, I was left to my own devices as long as I wasn’t hurt, sick, or causing trouble. My parents were just tired from working in my opinion, and they were happy to keep me distracted with video games. I began to become obsessed with video games (still am today) and games quickly became an escape from reality for me. I found myself going to school and sorta learning, but I have ADHD so most of the time I’d get bored and just read books. My teachers mostly just let me because they saw I was reading novels. In first grade I remember having to read and do a book report on this stupid “Boxcar Children” book series to prove I wasnt just pretending to read novels to not do school work. I finished the book in like an hour and finished the report in less time than that lol. They let me read whatever I wanted after that. Things were fairly normal for the most part until my sister was born.
This is where things finally start to play into why I’m writing this in the first place. If you’re still reading this, I thank you. I tend to ramble and I’m trying my best to keep just the important stuff.
So when I was in 4th grade, my sister was born and we moved into the house we now live in. I had to switch schools, and holy shit was I not ready. My original elementary school was amazing. I had friends there, and there was little to no bullying at all. We pretty much all got along for the most part and it was an atmosphere of respect and kindness. It was a complete 180 at my new school. From day 1, the bullying began. I got made fun of for my clothes being weird. Shorts too short, disney character on my shirt. I didn’t stand up for myself so it got worse quickly. It started with the insults which escalated quickly, from making fun of my clothes to literally being told “I bet you suck your own dad’s dick you faggot”. I would normally just put my head down and cry when this happened because I didn’t understand what I had done to make them dislike me so much. Then at recess, it started getting physical. It was just shoving and a random punch here and there at first. But it eventually escalated to me being punched and kicked while on the ground, surrounded by 3 or 4 boys all laughing while they beat me. I finally managed to say something to my teacher about it AND HER SOLUTION WAS TO MAKE ME SHAKE THE HAND OF THE LEAD BULLY. I’ll never forget the smug look on his face, or how he whispered “You shouldn’t have told on us” as he crushed my hand in that handshake. I tried to tell my parents, but they were overwhelmed with work and my baby sister. The most I ever got from them was a “Well, you know what they say isn’t true so don’t let it bother you.” I never one got a conversation about standing up for myself, or how to protect myself. So this went on all through elementary and middle school. I had friends, but none that would stick up for me during the worst of it. Eventually though in middle school I found Band, and things got a lot better. I had friends with common interests, and a skill I could focus on improving that wasn’t just video games. Those friends stayed with me through High school, and I still keep in contact with them today from time to time.
So at this point in my life, going into high school, I was VERY introverted. I barely talked to anyone I didn’t know, and I constantly sought approval from others. Any relationship I had (romantic or otherwise) I would cling to, as it gave me a sense of self. If I mattered to someone else, then I mattered ya know? I didn’t know myself at that point. I didn’t know I was a person that needed self love. Like I could see other people living their lives, but the thought never crossed my mind that I had to build my life the same way. I was a spectator to everyone else living their lives, and I was just trying to stay out of the way and not be a burden. High school was actually great for me. I found marching band and jazz band and REALLY excelled at music. I won scholarships and awards for playing the saxophone. I was truly a monster, I won one of the highest achievable improv awards in the state for High school at the Purdue Jazz Festival my senior year. (not to brag, but to show that I took it very seriously). So I had something of my own that helped to begin to define me. That was great for me.
My first year of college was a train wreck. I begged my parents to help me with admissions and figuring out just what the hell I was supposed to be doing as far as getting enrolled and getting financial assistance. They never helped me. To this day, I still don’t know why. I’ve talked to them about it and my mom basically just said she didn’t know any more than I did about it and I figured it out myself anyway so no harm done. (that’s how she felt at the time, not how she feels now.) I know lots of people have to do it all themselves, but for as big an introvert as I was, this was super difficult for me. I managed somehow to pull it all together though and started that fall as a music major. Things were great for a while, but 2 major factors came crashing together at the same time and ended my saxophone career. The first was that I played so damn much every day that I developed TMJ. It’s a jaw condition that is more or less like having tendonitis but in your face lol. Needless to say, it became excruciatingly painful for me to play my horn. At the same time, I was falling out with my saxophone professor because of his teaching methods. He is an amazing sax player, but a horrible teacher. He tried to force me to do everything exactly the way he did it (to be fair, it’s how he got so good) but he wouldn’t ever let me do things my way. I play from feeling first usually. I literally feel music and can hear it in my head perfectly. I can’t always play or communicate what I’m hearing on the first try, but music to me is a language I can understand at the level of my soul. I know it was important for me to learn all the ins and outs, but he was suffocating me. I remember once, we had a performance and I had one of the lead solo’s in our closing number. It was a super funky tune (can’t remember the name now) but I basically just got to spaz out for like 64 bars of funkadelic sax riffs. Right before we went on stage, my professor asked me to play my solo NOTE FOR NOTE. (I usually approached improv with a few rehearsed licks, but I would almost always just play what came to me in the moment, knowing I had some solid melodies to fall back on) So when I told him that I hadn’t memorized something to play, he took my solo away. On the spot. Knowing my friends and family were there and I had told them to expect my solo at the end of the show.
That was pretty much the final straw. The day I dropped out of college (the first time) was the day he made me cry in his office because I tried to explain all of this to him and he pretty much just said “Too bad, you gotta play the music that gets you paid so you can play the music you want to play.”
That was one of the harshest truths I had ever heard up to that point. In retrospect, he was right. He also could have compromised with me to make sure he wasn’t killing any and all enjoyment I got from my instrument. By this time, I could only play for 20 or 30 minutes at a time anyway before my jaw would either lock up or just start throbbing. So I dropped out.
I got a full time job right away, and decided to move out of my parents house. Home life wasn’t terrible or anything other than the hoarding and lack of functioning as a unit. I just needed some independence. After about a year and a half of working as a fork lift operator at Sweetwater Sound, I started feeling like I wasn’t being paid enough. I was only making $.75 an hour more than the new hires who just had to pack boxes. Yet, I was the main forklift operator in the warehouse during the week. I trained people, and even came in on weekends to organize things the way I liked them. When I asked for a raise, they said they couldn’t budget it. Meanwhile, the owner of the company BOUGHT A HELICOPTER and started flying to work a couple times a week even though he lived less than a 20 min drive from the building. I couldn’t believe it. He then proceeded to freeze wages warehouse-wide during christmas because he didn’t want anyone to get a raise right before we would be working 10 to 20 hours of overtime every week. To date, this is one of the biggest slaps in the face an employer has ever delivered to me.
Next are some events that are worthy of a post of their own that lead to the next transition in my life, but to prevent this from becoming an even longer story, lets just say I made some questionable partying decisions that led to me almost getting arrested. I decided pretty much out of nowhere that I was tired of being taken advantage of, and not happy with the path I was heading down. The day after almost getting arrested, I walked into the recruiting office of the Indiana National Guard. The recruiter promised me he could get me in ASAP, so I quit my job that day. I got a 95 on the ASVAB, but chose infantry because I could get a $20k signing bonus and they could ship me to basic in only 2 weeks. So literally 10 days after walking into that office, I left for Fort Benning, GA. This is the part of the story where things get truly complex. To anyone who has read this far, I truly thank you.
What I’m about to talk about, I have shared only with those closest to me in full detail. I went on to write a lot of songs about this period of my life and the things I learned and experienced. But this is going to be controversial. I may catch some blowback from my opinions, but I’m gonna do my best to just tell exactly what happened without putting too much of my own perspective on it.
I had been in 7th grade when 9/11 happened. I saw the second plane hit live on the news, and I always thought I would someday try to join the military to some degree, to do my part. I bought into all the propaganda, and was kind of a “MURICA” asshole for a while. So me joining the military wasn’t truly out of nowhere, other than that I was a scrawny lanky kid trying to join the infantry lol
So, after a few days at Camp Atturbury in Indiana where they did our processing, I shipped out to Ft Benning, GA AKA Sand Hill. Upon arrival, we turned in our personal belongings and had our heads shaved. Then they took us into an auditorium and had us sit. There were probably between 100 and 200 of us, it’s hard to recall specifically as there was a lot going on around me and inside my head at that point. They brought out a few CO’s and NCO’s to talk to us about what to expect over the next few weeks. The last speaker however, was a chaplain (a religious officer if you don’t know, basically an army pastor). The chaplain came out and one of the first things he said was something that still haunts me to this day.
“I know a lot of you are having internal conflicts about your decision, and that’s okay. I’m here to tell you that GOD will NEVER punish you, for killing the enemies of America.”
I was shocked. This was the same rhetoric our enemies were telling their troops. My mother is an atheist and my father is one of those christians who never prays, reads the bible, or goes to church, or really anything at all other than say he’s a christian because his parents were. I personally was agnostic, and mostly saw religion as a tool to control people at that point. (I have developed my own spiritual beliefs as of this period of my life, but I was an asshole about not letting people act like their god made them better than anyone else). So my natural instinct when confronted with something I can’t change is to go super introverted. I locked my lips, kept my head down, and tried to fly under the radar. I figured maybe if I could just get through basic training, it would be different at my unit.
Basic training was one of the greatest and worst times of my life. I learned more about myself and what I’m capable of than any other period of my life, unquestionably. I became physically strong, mentally disciplined, and even saw a potential path for a career in the military for myself. I thought I could change things, or at least rise through the ranks enough to be an example of a different way to be. I was wrong. While I gained a lot of personal strength there, I gained even more psychological baggage. The racism and nationalism is unbelievably strong, at least in my personal experience there. Our drill sergeants would frequently refer to middle eastern people as “Sand N******”. I absolutely despise that word, and couldn’t believe my white drill sergeants were using it in front of my fellow black soldiers. They just hijacked one of the most derogatory insults in history and started casually tossing it around towards another group they hated. It was disgusting. They were trying to desensitize us for the very strong likelihood that we would someday have to kill these people, and I knew in my heart that I couldn’t bring myself to kill someone who wasn’t actively trying to kill me. And if another country invaded mine, and soldiers came to my home and mistreated my innocent family members, I would probably attack them too. I started seeing that it wasn’t such a simple issue. There were many layers to what was happening overseas, and we were only hearing the parts that would help us be better suited to accomplishing the goals of the army, regardless of whether it was completely honorable or not. This is where I fear I will lose most of you. From my first hand experience, I don’t believe that our government or military has the best interests of it’s people at heart. We can have a whole discussion about how soldiers are treated after coming back from war, and the almost complete lack of actual care they receive. Let alone the fact that most of these wars are started by rich folks who wouldn’t even send their own children off to fight.
So needless to say, I felt even MORE introverted because I couldn’t really share how I felt with anyone around me. I was so afraid of being seen as a traitor or terrorist because I honestly believed that we were not the good guys anymore. (I still don’t support the majority of our government and its policies, but again, that’s another long conversation). So this was a horrible time in life for me. I was stuck in the army, hating the majority of it, and feeling like if I said anything I could end up in jail or military prison. They REALLY scare the shit out of you at basic with the whole AWOL thing. They try and make you believe that if you try to leave the military or if you don’t follow orders that they will court marshall you and try to put you away for as long as possible. I didn’t even realize until wayyyy later in life how fucked up it is to have to threaten peoples literal lives to get them to conform to your ideology.
After a few months however, I graduated as an 11Bravo, and came back home an infantry soldier in the National Guard. At my unit in my home town, things were a lot better. I only had drill one weekend a month, and then a 2 to 3 week training camp in the summer time. I met a lot of really good men and women at my unit, and for a short time, I had hope that my experience at basic was a standalone experience. I even accepted a job as a recruiter for the Guard, and ended up recruiting a couple of my friends and a few others that my Squad leader and head recruiter basically tossed my way. I made unbelievable money off of recruiting, which I now realize was so that I didn’t think too much about what I was doing. I was convincing kids with no life experience that what I had done was the right way to go, while knowing in my heart I didn’t believe it to be true. One of the worst things I’ve ever done in my life. I still think about it from time to time and wonder if I caused anyone the same trauma I deal with. I deserve it if I did.
So, eventually there came around an opportunity to go on a deployment to Afghanistan, on an agricultural mission. It would have been mostly helping locals set up farms and sustainable living situations in areas affected by the war. Seemed like I could finally do some good in the world. But I was a private. In the NG, if your unit isn’t the one being deployed, you can volunteer to join a unit that is being deployed. However, it goes by rank first. As a private I was at the bottom of the list. NG deployments are honestly easy money if you don’t have family. You get paid full time army pay, tax free, plus additional bonuses for being overseas in a combat zone, and MOSTLY the NG would just do base and convoy security. We were essentially back up for the regular army, which compared to what the active duty soldiers had to deal with was a cake walk.
After being denied the deployment, I decided to try and shift gears. I wanted to take advantage of my free college money and I set off for Indiana University, Bloomington. I joined ROTC and decided that I would become an officer so that I could have some say in how things went around me. I absolutely loved my time at IU. I didn’t care for the military stuff as much, because it was basically again just a bunch of kids with no life experience being brainwashed towards certain ideologies and borderline nationalism. I spent a year and a half at IU, trying to get a degree in Fitness and Nutrition, with my overall goal to become an officer that would help with physical training and overall health of soldiers. It was my way of helping my soldiers, but not directly participating in violence.
Fast forward to the bailouts for the banks and the auto industry...One of the first things our state cut to afford the federal bail out was tuition for soldiers who had not been on a deployment that were currently in school. So, even though I had volunteered for a deployment and been denied, they were going to cancel my school money, even though it was in my contract. I couldn’t believe it. I had done everything I was supposed to, even against my own morals at times, and then I got stuck with over 12,000 in back tuition. I couldn’t afford it and it was clear I would have to drop out of school again. I had reached my limit however with the army.
This part is another where I fear I will lose some of you, and that’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to understand if you hadn’t experienced it yourself. But I decided to find a way out. I had been tricked into working for an organization that didn’t care for me, and I was under threat of military prison if I tried to break it off. Even if I dodged jail time, I would get a dishonorable discharge and that would ruin my future. I wouldn’t ever be able to get a good job with that on my record. This is probably where the biggest break in my mind happened, up to that point in my life. I was absolutely terrified. I didn’t know how friends and family would react. I thought everyone would be disappointed or mad, or that they would see me as a traitor. It’s almost impossible to confidently say “I do not support our governments actions, nor the direction it is heading” as a soldier. It’s like signing your own death warrant. You’ll be immediately cut off from most of your fellow soldiers, and judged by people you thought were your friends. Luckily, I had a few people to confide in who understood my position even though they didn’t necessarily see it applied to them in the same way. But never the less, I had enough support to decide to do SOMETHING.
I finally drove back to my unit in my home town to have the conversation about wanting to separate from the military. That did not go well...AT ALL.
It was drill weekend so everyone was there. I showed up unexpectedly, and was asked to wait in an office with some of the NCO’s until they got everyone going on training so we could talk. I initially told them that I was there to talk about my status as an ROTC cadet (not a complete lie) and so they were fairly normal to me and mostly just wanted to talk about what training was like at IU. Eventually however, the 1st sergeant of our company came in and that’s when shit hit the fan. I somehow mustered the courage to squeak out the basic concept that I didn’t want to be a part of the army anymore. My first sergeant exploded. I have never in my life seen someone go from calm cool and collected, to ready to kill SO QUICKLY. This man went OFF on me. He began SCREAMING in my face that I was a traitor. That I was stabbing every man in the back I had come to respect and serve with. He called me any name he could think of that communicated how subhuman I was. (never tried convincing me to stay I should note) it was horrible. To this day, the most embarrassing moment of my life. I was so ashamed. I already felt unbearably guilty for being a failure as a soldier, and now this man was confirming everything I thought people might say about me. He then told me I had to stay for the rest of the drill weekend (I had driven up just for that day because I had finals that week at IU, and wanted to at least finish out the semester before dropping out due to money.). I wasn’t allowed to leave, and they said if I did that they would call the police. They basically just had me hang out there the rest of the weekend, and they sent a few soldiers they knew were my friends one by one to talk to me. Once they realized I wasn’t changing my mind, they just left me alone.
Then something amazing happened. Our supply sergeant, who had been a solid mentor before I went to IU asked me to drive with him back to my home town (they were training out of city) with him. Supply left early so that when everyone else arrived, they could check all the gear back in quicker and get everyone on their way. On the way back he basically told me that if I helped him get all set up back at the base, I could leave before everyone else came back. I was so grateful that I worked harder than I ever had when we got back. I busted my ass to unload and put trucks and gear away before the majority of our company made it back. This sergeant then called me into his office and had a conversation with me that literally saved my sanity.
He didn’t make me elaborate on my feelings too deeply, but he could see that I had transformed. Before I left for IU, I was very strong willed, strong physically, and SUPER gung ho about the army. I wanted to go to ranger school and he was helping me train. The person in front of him now however was a broken, terrified, child in pain. He basically told me that since I was only a private, and since I had all my gear turned in, that I could just leave and never come back. He said that in the NG, going AWOL can have a few consequences. They can prosecute you, and request jail time or money, they can take away your rank and force you to carry out the terms of your contract or send you to jail, among other things. But what he said next I almost couldn’t believe.
His exact words were “Sometimes, we just let people go because it isn’t worth the paperwork. Is it really that bad, man?”
I couldn’t even meet his eyes because of the tears in mine, but I nodded. He said Okay, and told me I was free to go. I literally sprinted out that building to my car (my girlfriend that drove with me from IU had left it in our hometown for me and had her parents drive her back...yeah, she’s awesome, we are still cool to this day) and began uncontrollably sobbing the moment I got behind the wheel As soon as I could drive, I did. I didn’t want the rest of my company to show up and to see me so broken. On my drive to my parents house, the supply sergeant called my phone. He asked me one final time if I was sure about my decision, then he wished me well and sent me on my way.
I calmed myself enough to drive back to IU (a 3 hour drive from my home town) and took my finals that week before officially dropping out. I moved back in with my parents in my home town, now 23 years old and with nothing of my own to my name except my car. I had to pay back my signing bonus so I literally had nothing left, and I was still stuck with my debt to IU. A few weeks passed and I got a package in the mail from the National Guard. Inside were discharge papers, and a certificate for a General Discharge under honorable conditions. I had a guardian angel in the shape of a supply sergeant who pulled some strings for a guy he didn’t owe a damn thing to. I’ll never forget that.
The relief I felt that day, is almost indescribable. All at once, my fear and outright terror subsided. I had managed to get myself out of a horrible situation, and I even had a chance at a future. It was one of the happiest periods of my life. I got a job as a server at Olive Garden and fell in love with the job. I had been an introvert all my life, but my experiences in college and in the army had helped me deal with that and for the first time in my life, I was confident and social. I was a great server. I enjoyed the fact that I spent all day making people satisfied and happy, and I LOVED MY CO WORKERS. To this day, I’m still friends with the majority of those people. I worked there for about 2 years and dont regret a single day of it. During that time I partied a lot. Slept around. Dated. Tried to just live a normal life.
Something I should have mentioned earlier, is that during the time I was at IU I got back into music. Its another long story, but I got SUPER into hip hop music. I realized all the jazz and music theory I learned applied directly to Hip hop, and after writing my first rap and leaving all my friends jaw dropped, I knew I had something special. I used rap to talk about everything that was happening with the military and my state of mind. This was my way of getting it out of me without directly telling anyone. A funny thing about rap, is that even if you’re talking about how depressed you are; if you sound cool while doing it, people pay attention to the rhythm and flow, and not as much what you’re saying. I’ll leave a link to my last free mixtape at the end of this, as proof of skill lol But, it’s truly super important to the next chapter of my life.
I decided I was going to be a rapper. I know. Trust me, I know. But honestly, I’m great at it. I understand words and music to a level that rhyming and forming cadences comes more naturally to me than anything else in the world. I probably could have made this whole post rhyme and flow if I wanted to lol I started writing and recording non stop, trying to improve myself and to start showing people I knew what I was doing. After separating from the army and moving back to my home town, I started making music with co workers and other artists I met in my city, and eventually became part of a group called Far From Fake. All of our music was about our disappointment in the music industry, and about how far rap had fallen. Rap is in my opinion one of the greatest art forms humans have ever created, when done right. The amount of information and emotion one can convey in a song is borderline magical. Some of the things I’ve written I don’t understand to this day how it all fell into place. Like for example, one line I wrote that I still love is:
“This needs more than assessment,
Supreme court intervention,
This my country,
And I swore to protect it,
From all enemies both foreign and domestic”
Say that out loud with the commas being the end of each bar and I think you’ll see what I mean.
So for a few years, my fellow artist friends and I played shows and tried to build up our online presence (although I admit I never took it as seriously as I should have, because part of me was still afraid of exposing myself to society because I didn’t want to directly talk about what happened to me in the military. I thought I’d be seen as a traitor still). We had great times and wrote some really dope music. Then….I fell in love harder than I ever had before.
(continued in part 2)
Part 2:
https://www.reddit.com/depression/comments/ij4gzn/my_story_part_2/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share